The Deal
by XxShawns Guardian AngelxX
Summary: SLASH Don't you wanna know what kind of 'deal' JBL offered HBK? Based on the events of Raw 11/24/08. Starring JBL, Shawn, Cena, Mark, Chris, Jeff. Full summary inside JBL may seem creepy but you're about to find that even a rich jackass can meet his match
1. Deals

AN: **Rated T**- _For a little foul language and the fact that this is SLASH. Will be an 'M' rated fic later. That you can be sure of.  
_

Synopsis: _Well, ok. So I'm sure all you wrestling fans were screaming at the TV when JBL made an unwelcomed appearance during the HBK-ReyRey/MizMorrison tag team match. I know I was. Anyway, my jaw dropped when JBL decided to help HBK in all his glory and I was further concerned when JBL mentioned some 'deal' he'd cut with HBK. Now then, I'm sure this deal is something interesting otherwise HBK never would have taken it. However, since my mind is constantly in the gutter and I am convinced that everyone wants to sleep with Shawn, a plot bunny would not go away and as a result, you have this story. It started off as a OS but now...it must continue. It is a fluff fest as well as a little hurt/comfort/friendship and light humor but that's what I do best. Enjoy!  
_

Pairings: **JBL/Shawn, Shawn?. **_You just never know...Oh and while JBL can be gross, give this a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised by how well this could work._

* * *

Shawn was feeling a bit disoriented but that was to be expected. He had been kicked in the head earlier and now he felt himself being pulled to a standing position. The young kid who called himself The Miz was holding him up from behind while the Shawn wannabe was kicking the wind out of him. Shawn felt his face being cupped but then just as quickly the hands went away. A few seconds passed and nothing was happening so he managed to open his eyes a little. Standing before him was the one man that could only make things that much worse. JBL. The man who'd been harassing him for several weeks now was standing before him with that same thirst for blood in his eyes.

Shawn closed his eyes bracing himself for the pain but nothing happened. He heard the crowd erupt into applause and when he opened his eyes, he found The Miz and Morrison knocked out on the right side of the ring. He looked up to see JBL's intense gaze as he slowly backed away from the ring. To everyone else who was watching the scene unfold before them saw this as strange. Just why the hell would JBL want to help Shawn Michaels? Just why would he help the one guy he'd spent weeks getting the better of? Strange though it was to the audience, to Shawn, he pretty much saw this coming. After all, it was all part of the deal.

"You do this for me Shawn and I'll make sure nothing ever happens to you again." They were all alone in the locker room. Shawn had just changed into his wrestling gear and was standing with his back to JBL as he combed his hair.

"I can take care of myself John. I don't need…"

"Really now? So every time you get yourself in a bind you're just going to go running off to that ex-lover of yours Hunter right? The guy that left you more times than a pimp leaves his whores?" Shawn turned to face JBL, a frown on his face.

"You don't know anything about me and Hunter," Shawn snapped.

"I know enough to know that you're suffering big time right now." JBL took a few steps closer to the blonde stopping inches from his face. He placed both hands on the lockers trapping Shawn in front of him.

"Suffering? What makes you think I'm suffering?"

"Because I can see it in your eyes hotshot. You think everyone don't know about your fling with Mr. Assclown himself Chris Jericho? Your whole feud reeked hurt lover. I'm guessing Chris wanted something more than a fling but you just couldn't give it to him because you were still hoping – praying even – that maybe, just maybe Hunter would quit obsessing over the young daredevil that is Jeff Hardy and come back to you," he answered slowly, his voice oozing with menace.

"I…I don't need this right now. I have a match to get ready for so move…"

"Wait a second Shawn. Just hear me out. You didn't give me time to explain the deal. You know I'm a business man and I'll make it worth your while."

"Alright. Talk. What exactly can you do for me?" Beautiful blue eyes stared back defiantly into dark grey ones waiting to hear his response. JBL smirked at the smaller man before answering.

"Well for starters, I can get that prick Chris Jericho off your back."

"I can do that on my own."

"Sure you can," he sang. "That threatening voice mail he left you the other day means he off your back right?" Shawn rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'so what' but he was ignored. "Also, you'll have a friend in me."

"A friend?" he asked quizzically.

"Yeah a friend. I see you walking around here all by yourself. You're all alone now that Hunter's gone and without him, you have no one. Randy hates you. Dave wants to hurt you. Face it Shawn. You have no one and I know it's got to be tough having to fight all your battles all by yourself. Trust me. I know the feeling…or well, I used to anyway. At this rate you're going to end up with an early retirement and we both know you don't want that."

"Yeah but…" Shawn thought about JBL's offer for a second. While he knew it would be nice to have a partner, he knew with JBL all of his services came at a costly price, but so far JBL had yet to mention his price.

"So… So suppose I decide to take you up on this offer. I'll admit that I am tired of having to fight against the entire locker room week after week all alone and yeah, Ok. I'll admit that things with Chris are bad but what's your price? You've done all this talk about what you can do for me but what am I going to have to do for you in return? What? Am I going to have to forfeit all my title opportunities to you? You know full well I don't do that kind of thing anymore." JBL took a step back smiling his signature smile.

"Well…not exactly. You see Shawn the thing I want in return for helping you is well…you."

"Come again?"

"You. Y-O-U."

"You want me?"

"Well yeah. You see Shawn, I've watched you all year and have decided that a businessman like myself could treat you better than these losers. So here's the deal. You let everyone think we're a couple and you'll have it made. No one will dare bother you if you're with me and all I ask is for you to play along."

"That's it? That's all I have to do?" he asked raising an eyebrow curiously. It sounded too good to be true and yet… JBL walked over and started twirling a finger in his hair. He met Shawn's curious gaze as he leaned closer placing his lips on his for a quick, soft kiss.

"Well…when I said I wanted you, that meant _all_ of you," he murmured. He stepped away from the shocked blonde smirking. "I'll give you a week to think about it. Good luck tonight against those tweeks."

x-x-x

Shawn hobbled back up the ramp thinking only of getting the hell out of the arena as soon as possible. He needed to get away to clear his head and think about JBL. Though he hadn't taken the deal just yet, JBL seemed very adamant about keeping his side of the bargain.

Shawn wasn't watching where he was going and ran straight into somebody.

"God, I'm so sorry…Cena?" Shawn could feel his face heating up but he chose to ignore it. He had more pressing matters to think about rather than his fondness of an ex partner.

"Shawn? Oh man…you really got beat up out there. You can barely stand." Cena threw an arm around Shawn and helped him to the locker room. _He's as caring as ever…_ As soon as they were inside, Shawn sat down on one of the benches to relax. His sides were killing him and his back was a little irritated as well. Cena took a seat next to him and sighed. "I'm gone for a few months and I come back to see my partner all beaten and bruised up." _I have a few people on my hit list too…bastards…_

"Oh cut me some slack kid. You know how rough it is around here. Besides, I'm just like you. A loner. So therefore I have to do everything on my own." _Which is why JBL's deal is sounding real good right about now, though I really don't think I could stomach his lips on mine again…then again, I'd get over it eventually…_

"Yeah and I'm sorry about that Shawn. If I never would have been careless…"

"Hey! Whoa. Don't beat yourself up about me," he chuckled. "Besides, we technically aren't partners anymore so you really shouldn't worry about me so much." _But it really feels good to know someone cares…just another reason to stay fond of you._

"Yeah. I…I guess you're right." The words escaped Cena but he didn't mean it. In his heart he just couldn't bring himself to forget about Shawn. _Shawn can say what he wants but he would not be hurting like this if I would have been here for him. The fact that anyone could even think to hurt such a selfless person… Bastards._

"But I will…admit that it…kinda feels good to have someone worry," he added softly. Shawn leaned forward and stared down at the ground. He didn't know why but his face was starting to feel flushed. Cena leaned over and nudged his former partner in the side. Shawn looked over at him, smirking that signature smirk of his before they both burst out laughing.

"Finally. A genuine laugh and a smile." _And it's as beautiful as I remember…_

"Well before you decided to help an old man out I didn't feel like smiling. In fact, I didn't feel like I'd ever sincerely smile again but I guess that's what makes you special. You always find a way to bring those close to you some cheer. Thanks Cena. I really needed the laugh." Shawn stood up to leave but Cena clasped his wrist stopping him.

"Shawn." Shawn looked down at the man, his beautiful blue eyes softening at the younger man.

"I just…if you ever need anything…I'll be there for you."

"That's noble of you Cena but I'm fine. Really. I can take care of myself." _I can take care of myself but a part me still longs for something…._

"Alright but…promise me something."

"Alright kid," he laughed. "What do you want?"'

"Promise me," he started as he stood to his feet. He clasped Shawn's shoulder lightly staring into his eyes with a deeply concerned expression. "Promise me that you won't take that deal from JBL."

"Wha…How do you know about that deal?" he stammered.

"Because the fool had the nerve to threaten me about you. Stupid bastard. As if I'd ever hurt the man I care about more than anything in this world. I almost fucked him up." Shawn just stared at him with his mouth wide open from shock. Just who else had JBL told about the deal?

"Oh God…I…what is he playing at? He's only going to make things worse for me if he…what exactly did he…does everyone know about the deal?"

"No I don't think so. I managed to get him to tell me after I threatened to kick his ass all around this arena."

"Oh well uh…"

"Don't do it. It's not worth it. Besides, you have me now. Your partner and I promise to be there for you no matter what."

"I…like I said John that's really noble of you but I just can't rely on you."

"And why not?" he frowned.

"Because…I just can't. Hunter and I were partners for years but look at us now. While I know that he'll come if I call, I can't call him like that anymore. He…but that's beside the point John. I have to learn to stand on my own two feet…"

"And you are. You've been doing it all for months now but just because you're independent now doesn't mean you can't accept a little help every now and then. Let me help you Shawn. I promise not to get in your way…"

"John I'm fine and I don't need…"

"DAMMIT SHAWN, WILL YOU STOP BEING SO DAMN STUBBORN?!?"

"Oh boy. Here we go again," Shawn muttered. "You're back ten minutes and already you're on that kick again. Look. I told you once when we were partners that I don't need help, especially when it concerns my private life. Nothing's changed John. I don't need your help and I won't accept it either." John was at his breaking point now and he was having a hard time controlling his temper. _Why can't he see that I really care for him?_

"Alright. Fine then. If you won't accept my help then at least promise me this." Shawn rolled his eyes and leaned up against the locker.

"What now?" he scoffed.

"You…you can't…don't let him…the thought of him…"

"Dammit Cena will you just spill it? I'm tired, sore and would really rather get out of here before it gets too late so I can get a good night's sleep for once."

"Don't sleep with him."

"What?"

"Please. Don't let him touch you." Shawn stared at the kid in disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm dead serious."

"I…wow," he laughed. "You know, you've taken noble to a whole new level. I never said I was going to sleep with him and besides Cena…" Shawn walked over to his former partner and stood toe to toe with him. "It's my life and I can do whatever I want."

"Yeah well I might can't stop you from sleeping with that greedy bastard but you can't stop me from helping you. You take that deal and I will hurt him. I swear to God I'll hurt him."

"Why Cena? Why can't you mind your own business for once?" Shawn snapped. Cena gripped his shoulders and shoved him back against the lockers. He got right in Shawn's face so that their mouths were almost touching.

"Because the thought of that freak touching you is just too much for me. You know," he smirked. "I told myself that I'd forget about you and let you live your life but dammit Shawn…I refuse to let you do this. I can't. I won't. Not you. Anybody but you."

"Cena…"

"Can't you see it Shawn? Don't you know? You've got to know. The awkwardness between us…Why is it that I look at you with these eyes Shawn?" Cena's face had now softened and he looked almost sad.

"I…I don't…" he stammered.

"Why is it that when we were partners I could barely keep my hands to myself?"

"I don't…"

"Why is it Shawn, that every time I am near you, my heart races and I want to throw my arms around you…to kiss you…to make all your problems go away?" Cena stared down at the ground letting the silence fill the room. The awkwardness that he spoke of crept over the room and it was driving both of them insane. Cena was startled when he felt Shawn's soft hands cupping his face. Cena closed his eyes leaning into the touch and just as quickly felt arms embracing him. Shawn rested his head on Cena's chest and they both just stood there clinging to each other in silence, each enjoying the company of the other.

"Hey John?"

"Hmmm?"

"I wasn't going to sleep with JBL."

"Oh good."

"And John?"

"Hmm?"

"I think JBL's really gross."

"I do too."

"Hey John?"

"Yes dear?" he laughed.

"I didn't know. I really…didn't know you…" He paused for a second trying to find the right word but Cena cut him off.

"Loved."

"Loved?"

"You really didn't know that I loved you. Loved was the missing word in that sentence." Shawn looked at Cena opening his mouth to protest but Cena cut him off with a kiss. He drew Shawn closer and they clung to one another as they slowly explored each other's caverns. When Cena gave out of breath, he pulled away smiling.

"Does that mean you're going to ax JBL's deal and get with a real man?" Cena teased.

"No. It just means that I have to put up with your constant worrying since you really care."

"O…k. Well how about this. Does this mean you're going to keep your promise?"

"Tch. Well duh! I always keep my promises."

"And I always keep mine. I promise you Shawn that as long as I'm alive I will have your back…and front if you let me," he added thoughtfully.

"Cena!"

"Oh yeah. And I promise to love you because…well hell, it's hard not to love you. Believe me. I've already tried."

"Well aren't you just full of promises."

"I tell you what. You let me love you and I promise to do all those things plus anything else that you ask."

"Hmm…well…the offer is tempting…" he replied. He ran a hand through his golden locks and stared down at the floor. He remained silent for several seconds while John looked on nervously.

"Shawn? Shawn are you alright? Say something! Anything!" Shawn quickly looked up with a big grin on his face. He threw his arms around Cena playfully nuzzling his head in his chest. The he looked up at the surprised young man and grinned.

"Deal."

* * *

**AN: I just wanted you all to know that a Mike Adamle/Randy Orton muse has been instilled in my brain ever since their 'encounter' the night Orton made his ultimatum. I realize that Mike is no longer with the WWE. However, once a WWE superstar, always a WWE superstar and believe me, that story is coming soon. Okay. Now you can hit the review button and laugh at me. I can't help it if I liked Mike Adamle.**


	2. A Tempting Offer

_AN: Please don't hate me people. I couldn't help it. I have to continue this fic. I believe it is my destiny. Also, I still plan to do a Mike Adamle/Randy Orton fic because it is also my destiny. I hate destiny. Destiny is the reason I have so many fics. Now for shameless plus. Go read '**Silent Hearts'** and '**A Showstopper's Pain'**. **'Silent Hearts'** was written by me and it's a Shawn/Cena story. You may hate Cena but trust me. He had to work for it. '**A Showstopper's Pain'** was written by a friend of mine. It's her version of JBL's deal. It's a really good oneshot that everyone should read. Now then. The story continues..._

* * *

Cena smiled down at the beautiful man in his arms before pulling away.

"Well then. I'm glad we got that squared away. Is it safe to let you leave now or do I need to follow you back to the hotel?"

"I'll be fine Cena. I promise. JBL's deal is null and void now that I have my partner back," he grinned. "I'm going to take a shower now anyway."

"Alright. Well, I will see you next week love. I have to go see Vince and then I am going to drive to the next town over. My dad and my brother's wanting me to drop in since I'm so close to spend the night then I'm catching a late flight tomorrow."

"Oh ok then. Drive safely kid."

"Kid huh? One of these days I'm going to give you a reason to call me something other than kid."

"And until that time comes you're still just a kid to me now go," he laughed. "You don't want Vince all pissed off at you do you?"

"Yeah you're right." He kissed Shawn's cheek before hurrying off. Shawn smiled to himself quite pleased that he now had a reason to smile. _That Cena… I don't know what we are right now but I'm sure glad he's going to be around more often._ Shawn grabbed a towel and some fresh clothes before heading towards the shower feeling way better than he had been feeling in weeks.

He emerged from the shower a few minutes later dressed and ready to leave the arena. He grabbed his bags from in front of the locker and started towards the door. The door suddenly opened and there was JBL standing there wearing the biggest grin he'd seen in ages. _Oh boy… Of all the people to run into right now…_

"Shawn! Man I'm glad I caught you before you could sneak out of here."

"I wasn't sneaking anywhere John. I took a shower and now I'm going back to the hotel to get some shut eye."

"Whoa. Wait a second. I actually have a message for you from Vince. He needs to see you before you leave or if you don't have time, he said to give him a call. He has some news for you."

"I'll call him later. Now if you'll excuse me…" Shawn swept past John and started out the door. JBL gripped his shoulder lightly stopping the blonde in his steps.

"By the way Shawn, the offer's still on the table."

"Yeah well I decline. I don't need your help anymore. I have Cena," he grumbled.

"That may be but there are some things only money can fix."

"What are you talking about?" Shawn asked. He turned to face JBL eyeing him with a new curiosity.

"Oh well, it's not my place to tell you about your finances. That's what Vince is for."

"Do you know something that I don't?"

"Maybe, but it's not my place to tell you anything. I just happened to be nearby when Vince got the news."

"Don't play with me John. What do you know?"

"Well…since you **really** wanna know…I just thought I'd tell you that your retirement fund isn't looking so good right now. In fact, I don't think there's anything left in that fund."

"Wha…what?"

"Yeah. The WWE stock dropped over 800 points today and well…it's pretty bad. I think that's what Vince was wanting to talk with you about. I'm sure you're not going be let go but uh…any big plans you may have had after your retirement may have just gone out the window not to mention the pay cut everyone's going to get."

"That…can't be. I was planning…that money was going to be spent on a homeless shelter near my hometown. The old one is closing down soon and I can't bear to see all those kids living on the street. I've also been sending my mother an additional three grand a month for her private shelter for women. I can't just **not** help her. This has been something she's been doing for years. She's very passionate about helping those young women get back on their feet." _Plus…there's that huge debt I owe…those guys will kill me if they don't get their money…_

"Yeah. I understand that completely Shawn. I know how soft a heart you have but I also know something else about you."

"Huh? What else do you know?" JBL smirked before motioning for Shawn to come back into the locker room. Shawn quickly headed inside so that they could talk privately.

"I hear you're in debt to some really nasty people."

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Hn…well let's see…A few years ago you and Bret were doing really well…that is until he left you. Apparently you and Bret broke up because he was constantly feeding his habit of gambling, almost gambling all of your finances away in casinos. You got onto Bret about it and at one point you thought all was well until you were visited by some really nasty guys late one night when you were in Montreal."

"How…how do you know about that?"

"I'm into business and I am rich. I know everything but forget about that. You just need to worry about yourself." Shawn plopped down onto the bench and JBL sat down next to him. Shawn buried his face in the palm of his hands and groaned. _I could just cry. Right here and now. Of all the times, why now? I only had a few payments left…_

"Shawn don't beat yourself up about it. Besides, this is where I come in." Shawn cut JBL a sidelong glance before sighing.

"What do I have to do?"

"Well that depends. According to my sources Bret owed these guys a hell of a lot of money. About two million dollars and that's just what he borrowed."

"Yeah. It was…something like that," Shawn managed. "I've been paying these guys 10k a month since Bret and I broke up. I'm almost done paying them off. I only owe about 50,000 more dollars. That's five more months pay but with a pay cut I'm screwed. I can't take a pay cut _and_ take care of myself, my mother's shelter and those thugs. They'll kill Bret…they'd kill me," he choked.

"That won't happen if you take my deal."

"You only offered protection John. You can't protect me from these guys."

"Well, if you have the money to pay up each month then you won't get killed." Shawn sat up eyeing JBL with a new curiosity.

"Are you offering to pay me?"

"Shawn, you underestimate me. Of course I'm offering to pay you. Of course that would also mean you'd have to submit yourself to me and only me for the next five months but I'm sure you'd do anything to keep your mom happy, not to mention you want to live to see another day."

"I…yeah but…" Shawn closed his eyes and thought about his options. He had money dispersed in several banks. It was probably enough to cover the new homeless shelter but if he did that then he wouldn't have any money left for himself. The money he was making every month went towards his mother's shelter and paying those thugs. With the pay cut that he was doomed to face he'd barely have enough to take care of himself as well as his mother's shelter. _I could let the shelter go but I've seen those battered women…they have no where else to go and my mother would just cry…the disappointment in her face…I couldn't bear to see it…_ JBL patted Shawn on the back as he stood to leave.

"I'll still give you that week to think about it."

"Wait a second John. I…" He looked up at the man sadly and sighed. "Tell me the details of the deal so that I can know exactly what my options are."

"Very well. Let's see…I'd pay you 10k a month to cover your debt plus an extra 3k because I like you. And I'll still make sure no harm comes to you."

"And in return you want…?"

"Just you. I want you all to myself. That means you travel with me, you go out with me when I ask you to, you do whatever I tell you to do."

"Basically you want me as your servant."

"Oh it's not as bad as it sounds," he smirked. "I don't need you to clean my toilets or anything like that. I have lackys for that. Naa…I just need you to be my boy toy for the next five months. You do what you're told and you'll get your money in cash on the 28th of every month. When the last payment has been made you are free to go and we'll both forget that any of this ever happened."

"Wait a second. How do I know you're going to uphold your end of the bargain? Sure I could…you know, with you but there's no guarantee you'll pay me afterwards."

"Sure I will. I'm a business man and I'm not one for _completely_ humiliating people, especially if I like them. I tell you what. If you decide to take me up on the offer, I'll pay you a good faith payment of 3k first. You take the deal then you'll get the rest at the end of every month. But Shawn, I'm dead serious about this deal. If you don't keep your end of the bargain I will make things difficult for you. Hell, it's going to be difficult anyway if you take this deal. When I say that I want you, I mean I want you. I want you under my complete control. Your body and everything else will belong to me and only me. I reserve the right to have you whenever I desire you. Understand?"

"Yeah. I…I'll think about it."

"Good boy. See you next week."

As soon as JBL left, Shawn immediately broke into tears. He could not believe that this was happening. There was always that possibility that JBL was lying but he knew that was hardly the case in this situation. Since both JBL and his wife were big time business advisers, Vince often would go to them for advice. The chances of JBL lying about money were slim to none and Shawn hated it. Actually, Shawn hated himself more than anything. _Bret…He always has a way of coming back to haunt me…_

Any other ex boyfriend would forget about the debt completely and just let Bret rot in hell but Shawn wasn't that type of person. He could never _really_ hate Bret but he hated himself for still partly caring about him. Even though Bret put them in a ton of fucked up situations in the past, Shawn could never let anything happen to him because Bret would do the same for him if the shoe was on the other foot. _I have no choice…_ Shawn picked up his cell phone and dialed Vince's number. He needed to make sure everything JBL said was true and if it was…

"I'm sorry Cena, but looks like our deal is off," he whispered.

* * *

AN: I hate myself for these muses. I should be typing a history paper but instead I am entertaining a plot bunny. Well, looks like this will be a full fledge story. I always SAY oneshot but can I do it? No. Damn. It. All. So I have you to know I have the entire story worked out for the most part. Some stuff may change depending on next week but I don't plan to follow the WWEs storyline completely. I have just spun a nice tale based on last night's events. Anyway, you should think 'Pretty Woman' because that's basically what this is going to be like. A male verion of pretty woman but...yeah. Anyway, expect this story to get sad and angsty really quickly. I haven't quite decided how I am going to make JBL. I may make him nice or I may make him a selfish bastard. I dunno just yet. But expect the unexpected. I WILL make HBK and JBL work. Why? Because JBL is really gross and yet I've seen worse pairings. Ta Ta


	3. Signed and Sealed: The Deal is On

_AN: At some point, I'll go back and edit the first chapter. The story is definitely 'M' rated. No, there's no smut or bad language (right now) but I can assure you there will be some in the future. It's really not my style to write really dark, depressing fics. I'm more or a drama/romance person. However, I may make this story a little dark but we'll see. It's not supposed to be all that dark because well...you'll see. Anyway, I really wish the JBL muse would go away but alas it will not so here's to another chapter of making Shawn's life a living hell..._

* * *

Shawn went back to his hotel room and just collapsed onto the bed, burying his face in his pillow. He had just gotten off the phone with Vince and every word that JBL had spoken was true. Even though no one could have predicted the fall of the economy like this, he still couldn't help but blame himself for all of this. _I should have been more prepared…I should have just let them kill me…or Bret…No…that's selfish of me…I loved Bret too much to just let him die. After all, it is partly my fault that he gambled so much. I let him. I should have been a better boyfriend to him but instead all I cared about was myself… _Shawn cried and cried until he tired himself out. He strained his brain for other options but all were damn near impossible. He could ask Vince for a loan and he was certain Vince would give it to him. However, he didn't want to have to explain to Vince how he had half the damn Brooklyn mafia after him because of Bret. It would be too much to explain and he really didn't want people to know that much of his private business. The other option was to take out a really large bank loan but he doubted he could even get a loan that size even with his good credit. The economy was just too fucked up so bank loans were out of the question. That just left JBL's offer.

The thought of being John's…whatever he would be for five months just made him sick to his stomach. It was bad enough that he would be working for that selfish bastard but what's worse is that he'd have to sleep with him. It wasn't that John was a horrible looking man. When he dressed up in his $4,000 suits and tie, he was actually a descent looking guy but it was his bad attitude and arrogance that made him really gross. In fact, just the mere thought of the gross JBL lying on top of him was enough to make him hurl. However, there was no other option. John had promised to keep it just between the two of them but he was sure JBL's rules were going to be strict. In fact, he knew John all too well to know that he pretty much meant that Shawn was his personal sex slave. _When I say that I want you, I mean that I want you. I want you under my complete control. Your body and everything else will belong to me…_ Shawn closed his eyes as John's words flashed through his mind. It was going to be hard. Five months was a really long time and yet when he looked at the big picture, not long at all. _Yeah right. But if the rumors are true about JBL then I am in for one hell of a next five months. I'd have much rather taken a chance with the kid… _

"Cena," he whispered, his name rolling off of his tongue sadly. _God…just when I thought…there was a glimmer of hope…but I should have known. Nothing's ever been easy for me._ With a heartfelt sigh, Shawn closed his eyes drifting off to sleep in mere minutes. He knew what he had to do and he planned to get the ball rolling as soon as possible.

x-x-x

Since Shawn was also slated to appear on Smackdown to cut a DX promo with Hunter, Shawn didn't have to do any traveling the next morning. He quickly showered and dressed before picking up the phone to make the dreaded phone call. _Here goes nothing…_ John picked up after just one ring which kind of irked Shawn a little.

"You picked up so quickly," Shawn mumbled.

"Yeah well I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't expecting you to call."

"But you gave me a week to respond."

"Yeah but I figured a man like you would be anxious to get the ball rolling if you know what I mean."

"Yeah. Whatever. Say uh…can we meet and talk about this…this deal? I'd like to…" Shawn's throat almost knotted up before he could spit the words out. "Yeah. The deal. I wanna hear more about it."

"Really now?" John chuckled, his voice deep and full of amusement.

"Yeah. I'll…I might take it but…can we just meet and talk about your so-called rules please? I'd like to know exactly what I'm getting myself into before I take any money from you." Shawn tried to sound forceful and confident but he knew better. Whatever JBL said to him he'd _have_ to go along with it. This was the only way. He had no choice in the matter anymore.

"I'll give you the address to the hotel I'm staying in. Once you get there, you'll have a room key waiting for you."

"Now wait a sec. I didn't say I was absolutely going to take it. Whatever you're trying to pull…"

"Calm down Shawny boy," he chuckled. "I'm not going to try anything. All I'm going to do is go over the paperwork and…"

"Paperwork?"

"Of course. This is a business deal. You didn't think I wasn't going to cover my ass did you? That's where people go wrong these days. Anyway, don't worry so much about the paperwork. Just get down here so we can have a nice long discussion about this deal. I promise it will be worth your while."

"Hn…I bet," he grumbled before hanging up.

x-x-x

John Bradshaw Layfield sat back on the couch located in his luxurious, $800 a night, 5 star hotel room grinning to himself. He was about to make the deal of a lifetime with the one and only Shawn Michaels. Mr. Good Samaritan himself. The sexy boy. The playboy. The one everyone wants but can't have because in just a few short minutes, he would belong to him and only him.

John didn't have to wait long for Shawn. He soon heard the click of the lock and in walked Shawn looking pale and nervous. _Oh Shawn…I can't wait to get my hands on you._

"Shawn. Come on in. Have a seat. Don't be bashful," he coaxed. Shawn cast him a disgusted look as he slowly approached the man feeling slightly revolted by the eyes that bore deep into his flesh. JBL couldn't help but stare at the handsome specimen walking towards him. He was wearing some tight fitting blue jeans and a white tank showing off that beautiful shape of his. His long, golden hair was hanging freely surrounding that cute face and highlighting those sparkling blue eyes that John loved so much.

John was sitting in his really expensive looking red robe, a huge cigar stuffed in his mouth. Shawn frowned at him as he took a seat on the couch next to him leaving ample room between them.

"Alright John. Let's get to it. Show me the papers and tell me everything. I want to know the full extent of this deal before I accept it."

"Very well slugger." John leaned over the side of the couch and pulled a folder out of his briefcase. He handed Shawn the folder so that he could read over the papers as he explained the deal.

"Aright playboy. Listen up. The details of the deal are quite simple but mind you it won't be so good for you if you defy me."

"Defy you?" Shawn coughed. John just shrugged his shoulders as he continued to explain.

"Basically what I want from you is this. Think of yourself as my male escort for five months."

"You mean prostitute?"

"Prostitute is such a negative term. I prefer the term escort or even better, my male companion."

"Same thing," Shawn mumbled as he flipped another page.

"Yeah well most 'male escorts' so to speak wouldn't even dream of getting the benefits that you're going to get."

"Enlighten me."

"Well let's see. I am going to pay you the 3k that I promised you as well as the 10k every month. So you'll get a total of thirteen thousand dollars for your salary so to speak."

"Alright. So…"

"I'm not done yet." Shawn looked up over the papers and frowned.

"You're adding to that?"

"Yeah I am."

"But look here John, I never asked…I only want to get what I need and nothing more. I don't want to…"

"Just hear me out completely before you make your decision. Please. Just…just hear me out."

"Whatever."

"Alright. Well, on top of the 13k that you're going to get, I am also covering your living expenses. Why you may ask? Because for the next five months you will live with me. You'll stay with me at one of my houses or condos whenever travel permits and when it doesn't, you'll room with me at whatever hotel I choose. In other words, you won't have to spend a dime for traveling or lodging because I am going to take care of that for you."

"O…kay. Fair enough." _I suppose since I'm your sex slave I'd have to travel with you._

"And since I am taking care of your living and travel arrangements, I'll also take care of feeding you. Since you're going to be with me all the time, you'll be joining me for lunch, dinner, etc. You won't have to pay anything at all."

"Alright. That also sounds fair. What else?" _This is sounding too good to be true…_

"Well…since I have a shitload of money to throw away I figure I might as well spend it on you. If you…do what you're told, you'll be able to earn little presents along the way. In fact, if you keep your end of the bargain without giving me too much hell I might even consider letting you off the hook a month early. You'll still get all your money but…even I gotta admit that five months is a long time," he laughed. By now Shawn had pretty much read the papers in their entirety and was a step closer to making the deal official. Shawn looked over at John studying him to see if there were signs of a bad deal but he couldn't read him. He just couldn't figure out what was going on in that head of John's.

"Ok. So…so since I'm pretty much a slave for the next five months – give or take – you're going to take care of your slave's basic needs."

"That's right."

"And there's this small chance I won't have to continue to take shit from you for five months."

"Slim chance, but a chance none the less," he shrugged.

"_Right._ So on the surface it seems like one hell of a deal. The papers…everything looks fine to me but you…," he sighed shaking his head. "I just don't know how I feel about… You tell me that I have to devote myself to you but how much John? How far are you going to take this whole 'male companion' thing as you call it? What kind of horrors do I need to expect?"

"Well you'll just have to take the deal and find out but before you say no, ask yourself this? Is your mother really worth it? Is your lifelong dream of helping those poor, homeless kids _really_ worth it? Or your life…_Bret's_ life…is it…"

"ALRIGHT!" Shawn snapped. "You've made your point." Shawn grabbed the pen that was lying on the glass coffee table before them and quickly signed the papers. When he was done, he slammed the pen and papers down on the table then quickly started for the door, fighting to hold back the tears in his eyes. _I feel like I've just signed my life away to the devil…_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Shawn. Wait just a second." Shawn stopped at the door and waited as soft footsteps approached him from behind. John slowly slid his arms around the blonde's waist pulling him against him. Shawn's body was shaking, mostly out of anger and frustration but there was nothing he could do about it. John sniffed around his hair and then his neck taking in Shawn's sweet scent. _I am so going to enjoy this…_

"I…I have a show tonight," Shawn managed. He tried shaking John off of him but the Texas Longhorn held him tightly.

"I know but before you go, I have to tell you my rules."

"Fine. Lay it on me."

"I don't want you talking to any of your ex's at all for any reason. If I see you talking with any of them then it's going to be bad for you. Understand?"

"Whatever." _I doubt it can get much worse anyway…_ John's hands slid down Shawn's sides and to his hands. He gave Shawn a small envelope before backing away from his servant.

"Have a good show tonight Shawn and as of right now, you and I are officially a couple. See you Monday night sweetheart." Shawn quickly hurried out of the room slamming the door behind him. He lingered for a few seconds half wondering if he should just let fate run its course and take a chance without JBL's deal but then the image of Bret popped into his head, the image of his sad face when those thugs were beating him to death. _I can't let them hurt him or me ever again… _Shawn stared at the small envelope in his hand for the longest time before he actually opened it up. Inside the envelope was a note and a…

"Credit card?" What the hell is this for? Shawn opened the note and began reading.

_Shawn,_

_Somehow I just knew you'd take my deal. Anyway, before you go to your show tonight I need you to go to the store at the address below and pick up your things. You'll be expected to wear them on Monday night._

_J. B. Layfield_

"Great. Just great." _I wonder if it's a tutu…_ With another heartfelt sigh, Shawn headed out to do as he was a told hoping that his decision wouldn't bite him in the butt later on.


	4. Gifts and Tantrums

_AN: Somebody PLEASE. Make it stop. JBL muse has been ingrained into my brain and he chips away at it during the night. Hence the reason you have a new chapter so quickly. To everyone who is reading my ShawnCena one titled 'Silent Hearts', I promise you'll get that update this weekend...provided I can quit reading Bruce Wayne/Jim Gordon fics. I LOVE that pairing. Anyway, I hope the pace of the story isn't too slow for you but this is just how things are flowing right now. Shawn has his gifts...Let's see what they are..._

* * *

An hour later, Shawn was back at his hotel room with quite a few packages that he got from the store. One set of clothing was hidden in a black garment bag which Shawn pretty much deduced to be a suit of some sort. There was another plastic bag that had three boxes in it. Two boxes were definitely shoe boxes and the smaller one…well, he had no idea what was in that one.

"Guess I should tear into them and see what's inside. God I hope it's not a tutu," he grumbled. He started with the garment bag that was closest to him. He quickly unzipped it and pulled out the most gorgeous white suit he'd ever seen. The shirt underneath the suit was pink and had a matching pink and white tie to go with it. On the front pocket of the coat were the letters HBK embroidered in the most beautiful pink script. _Wow. This is…beautiful…I wonder how much it cost… _Shawn had forgotten all about the credit card receipt that he'd shoved into his pocket earlier. He pulled the paper out of his pocket and his jaw just dropped.

"$4,500 for a fricken suit!? What the hell is he playing at?" Shawn did not like this at all. Not only did the suit cost over four grand but the two boxes that held shoes rung in at over $1,900. Then the last item that was under misc items had cost a whopping $2,000 which brought the total to just a little over $8000. Shawn zipped the garment bag back up and then sprinted across the room to look at the items in the bag. The first box held a pair of nice gator, dress shoes that were white to go along with suit. The other shoe box also had dress shoes in them except they were black. Shawn rolled his eyes half pissed at John for the shoes because they were expensive while also feeling slightly indignant. _What does he think I am? Poor? I work for Vince McMahon too… _Shawn hesitated to open the last box because well…it was rather small and in his world, small boxes were never really a good thing.

"Oh well. Might as well…" He opened the box and just stared in shock. Inside the box was a bracelet…a gold bracelet with the initials B.A. followed by an inscription that read _Si je sais ce qu'est l'amour, c'est à cause de vous_. Shawn had no idea what it meant and made a mental note to ask John later but for now he needed to get ready for the night's taping of Smackdown. It was going to be hard enough being around Hunter considering that they were still kind of close. Friendships like theirs just didn't die overnight and Shawn doubted that he'd ever stop caring for Hunter. Hunter was too much like Bret only not as worrisome. Shawn smiled at the thought of his best friend as he closed the box. He'd been so busy worrying about future obligations that he forgot how much fun he was going to have that night. _Maybe tonight will get my mind off of other things…_

x-x-x

A few hours later, Shawn Michaels was entering the arena for the night's taping of Smackdown. A couple of the younger superstars like Carlito and his brother Primo immediately ran up to him for a hug greeting their idol like drooling fans.

"Guys. Really. I think you are giving me way too much credit. Razor was that other guy in that ladder match and he actually won," he grinned.

"Yeah well one can't help but single you out Heartbreaker. You were the one whose name went down in history for it," Carlito noted.

"Yeah and to this day I'll never get why unless it was that splash from the top. Otherwise, I've seen you guys do way cooler stuff than I ever dreamed of doing."

"Is that my humble better half I hear?" Hunter asked. Shawn, Carlito and Primo looked up to see the WWE Champ coming their way. Carlito and Primo nodded before leaving the legends to talk alone. Hunter immediately grabbed Shawn pulling him into a tight hug.

"It's good to see you too Hunter," he laughed. Hunter planted a kiss on his head as they pulled a part.

"Always love," he grinned. "You're a little early tonight. I didn't figure you'd get here so soon just to cut a few promos."

"Yeah I know but I got tired of being cooped up in that hotel room and needed to get away." It was half true. Sure he was tired of being alone in that room but it was more or less the thought of the days to come that had him sick to his stomach.

"Oh yeah. I totally understand. With all the pay cut talk going around being alone to dwell on it sucks." They started walking up the hall until they reached the promo room. They headed inside taking seats so that they could talk without being pestered. Hunter was sure glad to see his friend. Even though they were not together, he still could not make the feelings he had for Shawn in his heart go away. No one would ever be able to replace him because Shawn was just too rare. Once your heart got a taste of such a rare jewel it would never let it go completely. There would always be a lingering shard stuck in your heart. The shard in his heart was the man sitting across from. As Hunter watched his ex lover, he couldn't help but notice that Shawn seemed a bit…distant.

"Hey Shawn?"

"Hn?"

"Is…everything alright?" Shawn forced a smile and then a grin.

"Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I…don't know. I mean, I figure you're just like everyone else, concerned about the pay cuts but I didn't think you'd actually worry. You and I make enough that it really won't phase us too much, especially you Shawn since you live alone."

"Oh…well, I thought about the cuts but I'm fine. I'm just...I got some other things on my mind that's all."

"_Other_ things?" he inquired, eyebrows raised intuitively.

"Yeah."

"Do we need to talk about it?" Shawn looked up at his concerned friend and for a split second, he could see himself pouring his heart out to Hunter, but he couldn't. His deal with John was set in stone and there was no turning back now. Besides, he knew Hunter and Jeff were getting along just fine and he didn't need Hunter worrying about him. It would only destroy their relationship and he certainly did not want that.

"Naa. Don't worry about it Hunt. It's nothing I can't handle."

"Okay," he answered, though he wasn't entirely convinced. He and Shawn had been friends for a really long time so it was really hard for either of them to put something past the other. Hunter knew Shawn was lying but he decided not to push the issue. _When he's ready to tell me then he will… _

"Alright you guys. It's time to cut the promo."

x-x-x

As soon as he was done cutting promos, Shawn decided to leave the arena. He had planned to stay for the rest of the show but he just couldn't bear to see Hunter with Jeffrey. It wasn't that he still wanted Hunter back. It had taken him a while but he eventually got used to being with persons other than Hunter, though none of the relationships actually worked out, However he couldn't really blame anyone but himself. He'd dated a few people, the most recent and serious relationship being his one with Chris Jericho. Things started off okay until Chris Jericho got the idea in his head that they were in love. Chris might have been but Shawn certainly was not. He of course had tried to explain to Jericho that a long term relationship was out of the question but then Chris got all 'psychotic stalker' on him and he knew he'd made the right decision.

The only other person that Shawn may have had deep feelings for was Cena but even with Cena he couldn't be too sure. The two of them never dated. They were just tag team partners that had a really…awkward friendship. Shawn had grown fond of Cena at some point during their tag teaming but before he could even think about dwelling on the extent of his feelings, Cena got hurt and once again Shawn was left alone to figure things out on his own. He went from one bad relationship to the next but just when things seemed to be getting worse, Cena was back in his life if only for a brief moment. _It was but a moment but in that one moment, I felt that I could truly be happy again._ Shawn walked across the parking lot towards his car stopping suddenly to stare at the empty space. _Um…where's my truck?_

"I had my driver pick it up for you." Shawn turned around to see John standing outside his limo in a black suit, his white hat tilted to the side slightly. Shawn fought the urge to lash out at him for moving his vehicle so instead he just frowned. "Oh don't be mad Shawny boy. I had him take it back to the Hampton for you so that you could ride back with me."

"What if I didn't want to ride back with you?" Shawn grumbled. He hadn't meant to say it but the words sort of slid out. For a brief moment Shawn could have sworn John's eyes flashed dangerously but just as quickly the arrogant twinkle was back in his eye.

"As if you have much of a choice," he answered softly. Shawn molded his mouth shut as he reluctantly started towards the limo. John smirked at the blonde as he opened the door for him motioning for him to get inside. "After you sweetheart."

"I wish you'd find another pet name. I prefer Shawn in case you wanted to know."

"Your sarcasm is duly noted but actually I didn't care to know. I like the name sweetheart better and sweetheart it shall be until I come up with something else." John slid in next to Shawn then they pulled off into the night. Shawn made sure to sit as far away from John as possible. He still had a few days before John would be all over him and he wanted to stay as far away from him until hat time came. John glanced over at the disgruntled blonde shaking his head.

"I'm not going to hurt you Shawn…unless you want me to."

"No I don't," he snapped.

"Man you are a grouch. No wonder your boyfriends all dump you."

"Don't even go there. I am not in the mood."

"Is it because I'm telling the truth or is it because you couldn't be with your ex beloved tonight? Did you see the little Hardy boy running around with him?"

"Shut UP!" Shawn snapped.

"Aww, seems like I've touched a nerve…" Shawn lunged at JBL grabbing him by the neck. Before he could punch him in the face, John grabbed one of his wrists bending it back. Shawn cried out a little bit and in that instant he let go of John's neck. John took the opportunity to grab the blonde throwing him down on the leather seats. He quickly covered the blonde with his body, grabbing his wrists in the process pinning them above his head.

"GET OFF OF ME!" he shouted. Shawn twisted and turned trying to get away from the big guy but it was all in vain. Besides the fact that they were in the small space of a limousine, JBL was a lot bigger and stronger than him which made getting away damn near impossible.

"No. Not until you calm the fuck down. I haven't done anything to you yet you go off on me like some fucking lunatic."

"You were…"

"I was telling you what you needed to hear," he growled. "You got to get over that self-centered, big nosed bastard someday so you might as well start now."

"Shut…"

"NO I WON'T SHUT UP! YOU'RE GOING TO SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE! Unless, of course, you wanna end up dead." This got the blonde's attention and he immediately stopped his temper tantrum. Despite the fact that Shawn had stopped yelling, John did not immediately move away. He was too captured by the intense look in Shawn's eyes and the heat that radiated between them from their closeness was starting to get to him. Shawn's hair was now a tangled mess from their fight but for some reason John seemed to think it suited him. _He's such a feisty blonde who throws tantrums like a five year old. The tangled mess suits him…_ John slowly released his tight grip on the blonde's wrists half expecting him to swing at him again but to his surprise Shawn did not. Instead, he just scowled at him, his lips poked out in pout. The whole pouty look made Shawn look…cute. The thought amused John so much that he immediately crawled off of him. It would have been all too easy to steal a kiss but he doubted very seriously that Shawn would even let him get a real kiss. Not that any of the kisses were going to truly be real anyway. No. Real kisses only took place between people who cared deeply for one another and as far as JBL was concerned, this was just another business deal.

"You're not going to kick my ass for swinging at you?" Shawn asked softly. He'd sat back up and was now staring out the window avoiding John's eyes for all his worth. He couldn't bare look John in the eye, the man who was helping him (sort of) after trying to take his head off just now.

"Nope. You did piss me off and any other day I would have flattened you but I'm in no mood to get bloodied up. Besides, I was hoping we could start off on good terms."

"Whatever." They rode in an awkward silence the rest of the way to the Hampton. There were several moments when John wanted to say something to Shawn but what to say? Every other business deal he'd ever had was usually one that didn't require much talking. In fact, he'd never really had the urge to converse with any of his business partners…until now that is. It wasn't everyday that a heart throb like Shawn ended up as one of your clients and he was certain he'd never get another one like him. However, he had heard Shawn was a stubborn man but he never figured he'd be this difficult. _Oh well…I'll still enjoy the benefits of this deal even if we never have a full conversation again…_ The limo suddenly stopped jolting both men out of their thoughts. Shawn opened the door to get out but his hesitation caught John's eye.

"What's wrong?"

"I…I just…I don't like you at all but…I had a chance to go through the things you had me pick up this morning and…I just thought I'd thank you," he said quickly. "I'm not sure how I feel about everything being so expensive but I'll be sure to indulge you by wearing the gifts on Monday night. Good night John."

* * *

**AN: I'll tell you what the foreign script means in a later chapter. No cheating by looking it up. If you do it will ruin the ending for you. Don't you just love JBL and Shawn? Now I have given you all a new guilty pleasure...Stop me. Somebody must!**


	5. The Promise That Couldn't Be Kept

A few days later, Shawn was on a plane heading to Chicago. He had not had any contact with John since Tuesday night. The only contact was a text message that he'd gotten earlier that morning. The message gave him the address to the hotel that John was staying in and the room number. The plane ride to Cha Town was short and sweet. Shawn had fallen asleep to keep his mind off of the days ahead and before he knew it, he was riding in a limo (courtesy of JBL) back to the hotel. He picked up his room key and headed straight for the room. The door clicked open and with a sigh, Shawn entered the room. The room was huge but that was to be expected. He was certain JBL didn't know the meaning of a small room. The bell hop was only too happy to bring in his things.

"Oh thanks sir." Shawn pulled out his wallet and offered him a twenty but the bell hop waved it off.

"No thank you Mr. Michaels sir. It's already been taken care of."

"Um…ok. Well thank you anyway."

Shawn walked around the room checking things out. There was one huge, king sized bed in the middle of the room which meant that he'd be forced to share a bed with him. It was decorated in red quilts and lots of matching designer pillows that had gold embroidery on them. The super soft carpet was red and there were matching gold and red rugs on the floor to compliment it. The bathroom was also huge and very beautiful. Inside it was a big garden tub with solid gold pipes in the middle of the room. To the left of it was a huge shower area that was big enough to hold two or three bodies if needed.

"Wow. This is…" The restroom was also decorated in red and gold with the exception of the marble used for the sink, tub and shower. Shawn glanced at his watch and realized that it was starting to get late. _Time to get ready for the show._

x-x-x

When John got back to their hotel room, Shawn was still in the restroom showering. _Wonderful…I can see what he looks like before we leave for the arena. The guys are going to flip… _The thought pleased John and since he was already dressed, he decided to kick back on the red sofa until his 'sweetheart' came out. He didn't have to wait long. Shawn emerged from the restroom minutes later, a red towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was soaking wet and so was the upper half of his body. For a split second their eyes met until Shawn turned away seemingly floating across the room to towards the closet.

"You know Shawn, it's not polite to enter a room and not speak."

"I was here first so I do believe you're the one who was being rude." JBL smirked at his servant's sharp tongue half amused at his quick wit.

"Fine then. How are ya sweetheart? Did you enjoy your flight?"

"Actually I enjoyed my flight very much," he answered as he rummaged through a bag looking for his hairdryer. "You weren't there."

"Ouch. If that's the case then I hoped you enjoyed it to the fullest. It'll be a long time before you enjoy another flight like that."

"I guess so." Shawn finally found his hairdryer pulling out of the bag with a fury. After casting JBL an evil scowl, he hurried into the restroom locking the door behind him. When he was gone, John let out a sigh half wondering whether or not he should have offered Shawn that deal. At the time, it seemed like a good idea since Shawn was a pushover. He'd observed the blonde heart throb over the past few months simply because he was interesting. There was always something going on with him. His life was like a real life soap opera. As soon as Hunter jumped ship to Smackdown, it wasn't long before Hunter starting developing feelings for the younger Jeff Hardy. Of course, Shawn and Hunter's relationship had been on edge way before he left for Smackdown. It all started when Hunter got injured and DX fell apart. Vince McMahon thought it would be a great idea to put Shawn with Cena. Cena would learn to perform better in the ring while Shawn could easily be worked into the main event at Wrestlemania. Bad idea on Vince's part.

A few weeks after they hooked up as a team, it was pretty obvious that Cena had a thing for Shawn. He just couldn't keep his hands off of Shawn….or so it seemed. There were several instances where Shawn would be standing in the halls and Cena would be all over him. JBL would sit in the shadows and just watch shaking his head at the two of them. When Triple H returned to the ring from his injury, it was also obvious that things were not going to ever go back to the way they used to be. Cena had somehow gotten to the older man and Triple H broke up with him…or at least that's what the rumor was. Shawn would probably say it was mutual but who knew? Both had been cheating on the other so John supposed it really didn't matter.

The restroom door finally opened and out walked Shawn fully dressed and ready to go. JBL was so stunned that he almost started drooling. The white suit that he'd picked out for Shawn was a perfect fit. The pink undershirt and tie along with the matching gator shoes only made him look that much better. _Wow. Just…wow._ The only thing was that Shawn had his hair pulled back into a pony tail which sort of ticked John off. He thought Shawn had gorgeous hair and would have rather have seen him wearing it down. Shawn noticed the way he was staring at him and an ugly scowl formed across his face.

"What? I'm only wearing what you told me to wear. Judging by the look on your face I would have guessed it was okay but now I'm not so sure."

"Nothing. It's fine but, I think you should wear your hair down," he suggested.

"I don't like wearing my hair down."

"I think you misunderstood me. I'm not asking. I'm telling." Shawn shot John another nasty look before he pulled the rubber band out of his hair, shaking it like it was a mane.

"There. Is that better Your Highness?" he sang. Shawn's sarcasm was starting to work John's nerves. He resisted the urge to throw something at him as he stood to his feet.

"Yeah but you need to brush it out. It looks a mangy mess and no servant of mine is going to look like he just woke up from some dangerously hot sex…unless of course that's what you want people to think." Shawn quickly ran back into the restroom to comb out his tangles and seconds later he was ready to go.

"Alright. Let's get out of here before we're late. You know I have a promo to cut early tonight and I'd rather not be late. I don't need Vince on my case."

"Just a sec Shawn. Where's the bracelet I gave you?" Shawn grudgingly lifted his sleeve assuring John that he was wearing his gift. "I was just checking. Alright let's go. Oh and Shawn? Don't forget what I said. No contact with any exes whatsoever."

"Fine now can we go?"

"Yeah. Let's go." He nudged the smaller man out the door and they were off.

x-x-x

Ten minutes later they pulled into the arena capturing the attention of several wrestlers and workers who were lurking about the area. Shawn looked out of the tinted windows and spotted the last person he needed to see right now. _Cena…Oh God…_ The driver opened John's door letting him out first.

"You need to get out on my side sweetheart."

"Why can't he let me out on…?"

"Because it will be easier if you just get out on my side. Now do as you're told before I embarrass you," he replied speaking softly. Shawn really had no desire to get out of the limo. There were way too many people in the area, most of them friends of his. There was just no way he was going to get out of answering questions later, but it was too late to think about that now. The deal was made and he knew he shouldn't be complaining too much, especially since this was the easy part. What was coming later was the going to be the killer.

He took a deep breath then grabbed John's out stretched hand stepping out of the limo. Immediately Shawn was hit with waves of uneasiness. The workers were no longer really working because all Shawn could hear were hushed whispers. Then there was the fact that he could feel eyes burning into him with each passing second.

He had no idea how many seconds had passed before John looped their arms leading them inside the building. Shawn didn't dare look up. He couldn't. Especially since the one person who had given him the small hope of real happiness was standing nearby eying him with…well, Shawn wasn't sure what Cena was thinking. He was too afraid to meet his eyes.

"Well isn't this lovely Shawn. I think you've taken everyone's breath away," John chuckled.

"I'm sure I have," he muttered in return. Actually I think people are just too confused to even have a comment about this. They entered the building and immediately set off for the locker room. JBL released Shawn in front of the locker rooms grinning like Cheshire cat.

"I have to go speak with Mr. McMahon about something. I'm sure you've got to get ready for your match soon so I'll see you later sweetheart." Shawn rolled his eyes at the comment glaring angrily at the arrogant man leaving his side. He was about to enter the locker room when a set of arms grabbed him by the waist.

"Hey! Let me…"

"You're too pretty to let go," a voice whispered in his ear. The sound of Cena's voice sent chills down his spine, unwanted chills at that. Shawn quickly turned to face the kid and just wanted to melt into his pretty blue eyes that stared at him with want.

"Ce…Cena please. I…I have to go get ready for the show," he managed.

"That's fine but before you go I need to know why you were with JBL earlier. The guy's a douche and I refuse to believe what everyone else was whispering about."

"What were they saying?" he asked trying to sound dumb.

"More or less that you and the other John are a couple now, but I refuse to believe it. There's just no way… I already told you last week that I think I'm in love with you and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to get you to be mine."

"Cena I…I don't think now's the time to be making declarations of love. Besides, you're still young and you have plenty of time to find someone else." Yes, Cena had plenty of time to find someone else but a part of Shawn wanted to scream no. No because he really wanted Cena for himself but that wasn't possible…at least not right now and probably not ever.

"But I don't want anyone else. I want _you._ You've known this since we were tag team partners. Hunter's gone so why not give me a chance Shawn?" The look on Cena's face was now one of worry mixed with hurt and it was giving Shawn a sick feeling to his stomach. He turned away from Cena pulling him inside the locker room so that they could talk in private. Unfortunately for them the locker room wasn't empty. Chris Jericho was sitting on a bench nearby fixing his tie. He took one look at Shawn and his jaw just dropped.

"Shawn?! Is that really you?"

"Yeah it's him. You got a problem with that?" Cena asked.

"No I just…" He shook his head eying the older man playfully. "I just never thought I'd see the day when country boy HBK would splurge his money on a Armani suit and some gators. I have to say Shawn that you look quite delicious." Shawn shifted nervously staring down at the floor. Even though he and Chris had called it quits, Chris still had a way of getting under his skin.

"I know. Doesn't he now? Unfortunately for you, you won't get a chance to taste him since you uh…gave him up some time ago."

"Whatever Cena. It's not that I didn't care for him. I still do actually."

"Yeah well he could care less and so can I. Get lost loser so he and I can talk."

"Since I am in no mood to fight with children right now, I'll oblige. See you later Shawn," Chris smirked, exiting the locker room. Shawn immediately let out a huge breath, glad that he could finally breathe again after that uncomfortable tension.

"Alright Shawn. Let's talk. I wanna know why you're taking back your promise." Cena folded his arms across his chest, staring down the older man.

"I never promised to be your boyfriend Cena. I only said that I wouldn't…but never mind that. I just don't think I can be a good boyfriend right now. I have too much going on in my life right now and a relationship with you would only complicate things."

"What other things Shawn? You're going to have to be specific because right now I'm really getting confused. You live alone and Hunter's on Smackdown so I know it can't be him. And then don't forget this past Monday night, I held you in my arms and we shared the sweetest kiss…"

"Forget all of that Cena because we can't. We just…can't!" he snapped. Cena, still not quite convinced, immediately rushed to Shawn's side. He knelt down in front of him cupping his face forcing Shawn to look him in the eye.

"Then tell me why Shawn," he demanded. "Give me a good reason why we can't try for a relationship and I promise to back off forever." The words bore into Shawn like a drill tearing down any defense he may have had. The thought of losing someone else forever was enough to bring him to tears. "Shawn? Shawn, why are you crying? Please tell me what's wrong?" Cena pulled Shawn down on the floor with him and just held him close.

"I can't," he whispered. "Please…just forget about me."

"I refuse to forget about you. I love you Shawn. Why can't you see that?" He pushed the blonde away and just stared into his eyes.

"I…I don't know," he lied.

"Well maybe this will help you to remember." He clasped Shawn's chin pulling him close until their lips met. Cena licked and nipped at Shawn's lower lip until he sighed, finally allowing Cena's tongue entry into his mouth. He slowly wrapped his arms around the younger man giving into the passion behind the kiss. A second later Shawn was being thrown against a wall…and hard. _What the...?_ Shawn had no time to think. JBL quickly grabbed him by the jacket slamming him against the stone wall again nearly knocking the wind out of him in the process. Shawn winced from the impact but gritted his teeth nonetheless to keep from crying out.

"What the hell was that all about?" John growled.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HIM!" Cena grabbed JBL from behind throwing him into the bench behind him. Before JBL could retaliate, Cena was on top of him breaking his face with a hard right.

"Son…of…a…bitch," JBL spat. He managed to grab Cena by the neck then somehow flipped him over. That didn't last long. They continued to roll around, each one fighting to be on top to finish off the other and in the process, destroying any and everything in their path. The locker room was starting to look like hell.

"NO! STOP! CENA….CENA PLEASE!" Shawn yelled. Cena looked over his shoulder at Shawn but in that split second, JBL managed to land a punch to Cena's stomach. The younger man rolled over off of Bradshaw, the wind having been knocked out of him. He watched as Bradshaw grabbed Shawn's shoulders and shoved him against the stone wall again.

"I thought I told you no contact with ex lovers," he oozed.

"I…Cena's just a friend and we were never lovers."

"Didn't look that way to me."

"I'm…sorry."

"Yeah, I hope so. I really don't want to have to hurt you like this again but you went a bit too far tonight." Bradshaw yanked the jacket off of Shawn then grabbed his right arm shoving it near his face. "You see this bracelet Shawn? Take a good look at it. You are to never take it off as long as you're with me. You're mine and only mine. Got that?" he spat. The blonde managed to nod his head fighting back the tears in his eyes. There was just no way he was going to look weak in front of Bradshaw, even after he'd easily hurt him.

"Shawn? What…what is going on here?" Cena asked. He was now back on his feet staring at Shawn with a hurt look. JBL smirked at Cena before leaning close running his thick tongue along the side of Shawn's cheek. Shawn closed his eyes, half revolted by the feel of John's tongue and half ashamed at having betrayed Cena. _I'm so sorry Cena…_

"Does that answer your question Wonder Boy?" John asked. Shawn opened his eyes just in time to see Cena storm out of the locker room furiously. The sight seemed to amuse John to no end and he didn't even try to hide the amusement on his face. All Shawn could do was curse the man silently. John approached Shawn again grabbing his hips jerking him closer. "Sorry to have ruined your moment with Cena but there will be no more of that. Ex lover or not, _you_ belong to _me_."

"I heard you the first time you slammed my head against the wall," he answered coolly.

"Well if you wouldn't try my patience…"

"You better get used to it John. I have a _real_ hard time taking orders from anybody." John pressed his lips to Shawn's ear as he slid a hand behind his back and down over his rear.

"Then I suppose," he whispered, "you better get used to being violated every night for the next five months. As long as you defy me, I will make your life a living hell." John stormed out of the locker room leaving a sad and angry heartbreak kid alone to get ready for the show. It was going to be a long night and the show had yet to begin. Already Shawn was starting to wonder whether or not he could truly make it through this deal.

* * *

_AN: Don't hate me. It couldn't be helped. Um...review?_ **-hides under the bed-**


	6. Realization

_"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."---- **Friedrich Nietzsche**_

* * *

Cena stormed out the locker room furious. He was so angry that he didn't even see Dave coming towards him. Dave had to quickly move to the side to keep from running into him.

"Damn Cena. Gonna watch where you're going?" he snapped.

"Oh damn man. I'm sorry. I wasn't…"

"Paying attention. Yeah I noticed. So what's wrong with you? You look like you just lost your best friend."

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Yeah but…" A few feet away, the door of the locker room opened and out walked Shawn followed closely by JBL. John was walking behind Shawn grinning from ear to ear as people watched the two of them curiously. "Oh my God. Seriously?"

"Yeah. That's just what I said," Cena grumbled. He watched as JBL pecked Shawn on the cheek before hurrying off to do whatever it is he had to do. Cena could only watch longingly at the beautiful blonde as he warmed up for his match.

"Cena…Cena?"

"Huh? What?"

"You zoned out on me."

"Yeah sorry man. I'm just…I'm really having a hard time with this whole JBL/Shawn thing. I mean, come on. JBL and _Shawn_? It makes no sense. Not a bit of fucking sense."

"Yeah well like it or not I think they are a pair."

"Yeah but _WHY_ Dave? Tell me why when I _KNOW_ Shawn hates JBL's guts!" Cena slammed his fist against the wall earning a few well earned stares from a couple of workers.

"Will you calm the fuck down?"

"I can't dammit. Shawn and I had something when we were tag team partners. Now I know we weren't together officially but we connected in a way that I just can't explain. While I was sitting at home with a broken shoulder bone, I had to sit and watch people like Chris Jericho hurt my baby and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him get hurt while I'm around."

"Dude. Seriously, you're going to have to let it go for now. I haven't known JBL for long but from what I hear, he's not very nice when it comes to his property."

"Shawn is NOT a piece of property!" he spat.

"Yeah I know but to JBL he probably is."

"We'll see about that," he scoffed. Cena left Dave's side and hurried towards Shawn. As soon as Shawn looked up to see Cena, he threw his hands up signaling for him to stay back. Cena stopped dead in his tracks frowning.

"Why Shawn? Why can't I converse with my former tag team partner?" Shawn anxiously looked around to make sure JBL wasn't around before speaking again.

"I can't. We can't and you already know why," he hissed.

"But Shawn I love you. Even if you are with that asshole, why can't we just be friends?" Cena was becoming more and more irritated by the second. His brain just couldn't comprehend the fact that Shawn was with that jerk Bradshaw.

"Because…we just can't Cena!" he snapped. _I think I may be in love with you but…_ Cena quickly ran up to Shawn clasping his shoulders tightly. "Dammit Cena let go of me! Please…please let me go," he pleaded. Cena looked into his eyes and saw nothing but hurt. _He looks like he's hurting so much but then why? I just don't understand it…_

"Shawn…God Shawn, please explain to me why you're hurting so much!"

"I wouldn't hurt if you'd stop this nonsense!" he snapped.

"BUT IT'S NOT NONSENSE DAMMIT! I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND I _THOUGHT_ WE WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER! THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT SO TELL ME WHY THE HELL YOU'RE WITH THAT SLEAZY BASTARD?!" he yelled. Cena had pretty much lost it at this point. JBL was the world's biggest jackass and the entire roster knew this. Shawn, being the veteran that he is, knew JBL long before anyone else so he'd always known JBL to be a douche. Shawn would never just all of a sudden get with a bastard like him. Cena knew this because Shawn had once told him that he hated JBL with a passion and who could blame him? _Now all of a sudden they're a power couple now? No way…There's got to be a catch!_

"Cena…Cena please let go of me," he choked. "I…You and I can never be because JBL is my boyfriend now. Don't ask how or why because you could never understand."

"Then make me understand!" Cena was almost to the point of tears and it was all Shawn's fault. Shawn had tears streaming down his face and he looked like he was going to be miserable for the rest of his life. The pain in Shawn's eyes started to affect Cena even more and he was starting to cry. He threw his arms around Shawn and just held him, letting the warmth of the blonde comfort him. He soon felt the smaller arms embrace him back and he smiled.

"I wanna hold you like this all the time Shawn. Let JBL go and stay with me. Let _me_ be your boyfriend."

"I…" He never got a chance to respond. All of a sudden Shawn was being jerked away into the arms of an angry JBL.

"Why am I not surprised?" he laughed. He dipped his head low and kissed the nape of Shawn's neck. "Mmm…Shawn you taste so good but you've been a bad boy. Guess you know what that means," he chuckled. JBL grabbed hold of Shawn's hair pulling it tightly towards him. Shawn let out a loud cry that drew the attention of several people standing nearby including Dave and Cena. Cena made a dash towards the Texan but equally strong arms held him back.

"Let it go Cena. You can't get involved," Dave hissed.

"MAN I'LL KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

"You won't do a goddamn thing to me Cena," JBL smirked. He loosened his grip on Shawn's hair and then grabbed his waist, squeezing his sides. Shawn had tears streaming down his face but he held his tongue saying nothing to defend himself.

"DAVE LET ME GO! JBL YOU'RE A BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU?!?"

"Because the law states I have the right to do whatever I damn well please with my property."

"_Property?_ What the hell…? Shawn's not your damn property. He's a fucking human being with feelings. You can't just toss him around like he's a punching bag!" Cena continued to try and wrestle his way out of Dave's grip but Dave held him tightly. Even though the whole scene was equally sickening to Dave's stomach, he knew there was nothing they could do right now, especially if Shawn wasn't saying anything. _I'm starting to feel like Cena. What the hell is going on here?_

"You damn right he's my property and I want you to keep your fucking hands off of him. If I see you anywhere near him again I'll…"

"You'll do what? Fight me? Bradshaw I swear to God I'd hurt you if given the chance."

"Yeah well you do that, but it wouldn't do you any good. The only person who's going to suffer is Shawny boy here."

JBL clenched Shawn's sides tighter. Cena could tell that it hurt because for a second, Shawn flinched. _That bastard! He's hurting him!_ It was all too much to bear and Cena was ready to pound the hell out of somebody. JBL ghosted his hands along Shawn's waist and then up his torso massaging him. He let out a haughty laugh before pushing Shawn aside. Shawn almost stumbled and hit the wall but luckily he was able to regain his balance quickly. He leaned up against the wall and just stared down at the floor refusing to meet anyone's eyes. It was all too embarrassing.

"Was that really necessary?" Dave asked. JBL looked over at Shawn and shrugged.

"Yeah. I believe it was. He disobeyed me so he had to pay the price."

"But he didn't do anything!" Cena snapped.

"Meh, maybe not but I told him to stay away from you. I'm gone for five minutes only to come back and find my boyfriend wrapped in another man's arms."

"So what? I treat him better."

"Maybe so but for every time I see him with you, I'm going to beat the hell out of him twice as much."

"You…you can't do that."

"Oh but I can. Right Shawn?" he sang. They all looked towards Shawn who just barely managed to nod his head.

"OH GOD! THIS IS BULLSHIT!" Cena yelled. "SHAWN? WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM TREAT YOU LIKE THIS?" Shawn ignored Cena's cries. It was for the best. Besides, he tried to tell Cena to back off but he wouldn't listen. _A small price to pay I guess…_

"Well gentlemen, Shawn has a match to get ready for." JBL motioned for Shawn to follow him and without hesitation he did as he was told.

"SHAWN? SHAWN LOOK AT ME?!? DON'T…DON'T DO THIS!" But Shawn walked by Cena without giving him a second thought leaving the confused ex champ behind.

"Man, if that wasn't the most pathetic thing I've ever seen." Chris Jericho had been watching from a distance behind Dave and was disgusted by the entire scene. Cena pulled away from Dave and started for Chris.

"Don't make me take it out on you Chris. I already owe you an ass-whooping in the ring. Don't get delt with while I'm pissed off. It just wouldn't be a good idea. Besides, you're one to talk. You treated Shawn like shit too."

"Pft. Yeah right. Okay, so maybe I could have been a little nicer to him but Shawn's stubborn as hell. Sure we fought a lot but mostly because I loved him and he didn't love me back."

"So what?"

"Yeah well my point is that I never humiliated him like that. Say what you want about me but I could never just down right humiliate someone I care about like that. Even _I'm_ not that low."

"You know Cena, as much as I hate to agree with Chris, he has a point. I never once saw him do anything to Shawn outside of what was scripted. If they fought they did it elsewhere."

"Besides Cena…" Chris stared at the belt tossed over his shoulder with a blank look on his face. "I still care about him and even though he hates my guts, I want him away from that freak."

"You don't look so sympathetic," Cena observed. "And what of those threatening messages you kept leaving him?"

"Yeah well it's hard trying to talk with you seeing as _you're_ the one he loves. As for the messages, I was only trying to get in his head. I'd never hurt him like that." Cena could only stand their quietly as Chris's words rang loudly in his ear. _So Shawn loves me? But then why?_

"Well answer me this Jericho. If Shawn loves me then why the hell is he with that freak?"

"I don't know for sure but I've been pondering it. Check it, just last week he was moping around here pissed off at me and avoiding everyone like the plague. Then he heard that you were returning to the ring and I noticed the he'd perked up a little bit. Funny thing is though, I never once saw him and JBL together. Not even once which is why I'm just as confused as you are."

"Yeah well I don't know about you two but I'm really wanting to corner Shawn somewhere and make him tell us what's going on. I know it's not our place to get involved but there's just no way I can sit back and watch a good friend be humiliated like that again," Dave said.

"You should have let me at him."

"Cena you would have killed him. If you're in prison for murder, how much good will it do you and Shawn? He'll still be alone and miserable."

"Actually he'd have me," Chris smirked.

"Not on your life." Cena threw his hands up in defeat and groaned. "Ok. So what now? How are we going to get to the bottom of this?"

"Maybe you should let someone else try Cena. Seems like every time he's near you, he gets the shit beat out of him. Let me do it," Chris offered.

"So you can steal him back from me? Fat chance gay boy."

"Fine then. I guess we'll just sit back and watch you do it then. You've been doing a kick-ass job so far Wonder Boy." His sarcasm made Dave laugh which earned him an angry glare from Cena.

"Alright. You win Chris but I swear to God…"

"Let's get something straight right here and now. If Shawn decides he loves me back then I'll fight you for him," Chris said softly. "I'm not going to just give him to you if I manage to get him away from JBL. You'd feel the same way if the shoe was on the other foot."

"Yeah. Alright. Fine but if he wants me…"

"Then he's all yours."

"Cena, Chris…the main thing that you two need to keep in mind is that we all have Shawn's best interest at heart. Despite how you two feel about each other, the primary goal for now is to get him away from JBL. When that happens, then you two can fight over him all you want."

"There won't be a need to fight," Chris grumbled before walking off. _He's in love with Cena so why bother? I'll get him away from that bastard though. You just watch me Cena._

_

* * *

AN: It's not as bad as it seems. JBL will eventually get better…or he'll get worse. Just depends on the writers. Oh, I found this awesome icon on a website that said 'Slash-It Writes Itself'. I couldn't agree more. Are they serious? Oh my gawd! This storyline is killing me! BUT you guys are having to pay the price by reading my muses. They won't go away. I wish they would but they won't. The next chapter will be up soon as well as a chappy for 'Revelation'. They just keep feeding me stories…BTW, anyone else disturbed by the whole Kelly Kelly – Glen business? They could be an awesome couple but, dammit who's the mystery guy she's cheating with? My money was on Rey but then the whole Glen/Rey thing has sailed. Gahh… And I really wanna write femslash now (without the lemons) after last night's Mickey James/Melina moment but I suppose I can let that one go. I have enough to deal with. Sorry about the randomness of this note but it couldn't be helped._


	7. Business and Lunch

_AN: I'm not following the current WWE storyline to the exact so it's slightly AU. But it will still follow general events with a twist. You know me. I'm convinced that there's more to this story than they are letting on. That or Shawn's just a really good actor. You know, they should give out Academy Awards for wrestling because I swear people like Shawn, Chris, and Edge would win all the time. They are all very convincing. And Shawn so got me last Monday night. I mean seriously, the way he cupped JBL's face. There was like that brief slash moment before he bitch slapped him. Those looks KILL ME! Okay. I'm done now. BTW, I wrote this chapter before I got some helpful comments and suggestions so I'm sorry. But for those of you who are concerned about JBL's behavior, he'll be both nice and mean. But not too nice. I tend to keep all my characters in character so epect JBL to be a nasty bastard most of the time._

_"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."----**Alexander Smith**_

* * *

Shawn's match had been a breeze. He fought one of his favorite younger superstars, The Miz and it had been a great match. There was some interference on the part of Morrison only to have JBL to help him out again. Tonight they made it official to the public that Shawn would now be working for JBL. To the audience, it was just another storyline but they couldn't have been more wrong. Shawn of course, had been aware that he would be working with JBL soon but not this soon in a storyline that mirrored his own life. He really wanted to question Vince about it but he knew that if he started asking questions, Vince might return the favor. _I better let this one go…_

Shawn headed behind the curtain and started towards the break room. Even though he really wanted a shower, he figured it was best to just wait until he got back to the hotel. He didn't want to risk seeing Cena again and his body certainly did not wish to endure anymore pain this evening. Shawn grabbed a cup and poured him some juice. There was a bottle of vodka nearby that one of the workers had left there but he did not want to go that route just yet. _No drinking…at least until I have to let that bastard touch me…_

"Shawn, man do you look hurt." Shawn rolled his eyes as he turned to the voice behind him.

"Chris. Most men look hurt after they wrestle."

"Yeah well you look more banged up than usual. I wonder why?"

"You tell me."

"I have a general idea."

"Do tell."

"Your new boyfriend's kicking your ass."

"Not your concern Chris." Shawn continued to sip on his juice acting as if everything was alright when it really wasn't. If Chris had been someone else, he probably would have broken into tears by now but no. He just couldn't allow himself to look like a broken man.

"Maybe not but it is my concern when said victim used to be a close friend."

"We're not friends anymore Chris. You ruined that yourself." He finished his drink and started for the door but Chris grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Fair enough but then at least tell me why." Shawn shook is arm away frowning.

"Why what?"

"Why you let him control you like this?"

"I don't have time for this. You and the others need to learn to mind their own business."

"Well it's kind of hard when JBL's parading you around here like you're his slave or something." The words almost made Shawn flinch but he managed to stay calm. He moved closer to Chris towering over him.

"Look Chris, stay out of my business. What goes on between me and John is our business. Not yours. Not Cena's or anybody else's. Got it?"

"No…I don't got it because you see Shawn, this is one of the reasons you and I couldn't make it. You said I was too controlling so you left me. I didn't do half the shit that JBL's doing yet you stay with him and fire me? I don't get it."

"You don't need to."

"Like hell I don't! Shawn I loved you, still do actually and dammit I deserve some answers!"

"I…"

"You don't have to answer one Goddamned thing Shawn," JBL had just entered the room and he was glaring at the former rock star. He slowly entered the room stopping just an inch or two behind Shawn towering over the both of them. "You were saying Chris Jericho?"

"Nothing that involves you," he snapped. "Shawn, I WILL get to the bottom of this and when I do…" He cast JBL a cold look as he whisked by them._ I'll make sure everyone knows what you did._

"Sheesh. Everybody's got a fucking attitude all because we're together. I knew you were popular but damn," he laughed. "Now everybody's at my throat trying to threaten me about you. I am yet to figure out what's so special about your skinny ass. There's got to be more to you than just good looks."

"I guess you'll never know," Shawn mumbled.

"I guess not so are we ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah. Please. I'm tired of the cold looks."

"Not a very nice feeling is it?" he smirked.

"No it's not now can we go now? I need a shower and unless you want me to be harassed by John again…"

"Nope. Let's get out of here." They both exited the room and the arena with lots of watchful eyes glaring and whispering. The ride home was quiet. Shawn did not feel like arguing with John and John did not feel like starting an argument. He really wanted to inquire about the closeness of Shawn and Cena but he knew Shawn would just shout at him. _Nope. That's a headache I don't need tonight._ When they finally made it back to the hotel, Shawn let out a sigh of relief.

"I thought they would never quit staring at us," he grumbled. "I'm going straight to the shower unless you need anything your highness."

"You know Shawn, why do you have to have an attitude all the time?" Shawn just looked at JBL as if he were nuts. _Is he serious?_ John rolled his eyes and shooed him off. "Go. Go shower. I've already had one so I'm getting in bed. I expect you to join me when you're done."

"Nothing would thrill me more," he mumbled before entering the restroom slamming the door behind him. JBL almost took off his boot and tossed it at that door. _Stubborn ass male…No wonder all his boyfriends dumped him…_ JBL relived himself of his suit taking the time to hang it up. Then he climbed into bed with nothing but a pair of expensive boxers on and just laid there waiting for Shawn to come out. He didn't have to wait too long. Twenty minutes later Shawn came out of the rest room wearing a pair of black boxers. He shot him a disgusted look before he climbed into bed next to him.

"You don't have to look like that Shawn."

"Oh? Then how **should** I look?" he snapped.

"I was just…never mind. Forget it." JBL killed the lights before turning over on his side away from Shawn to go to sleep. Shawn however, just laid there stunned. _What is he playing at? I thought I was supposed to… _If this was a game John was playing then it was far from funny. He'd spent the entire night trying to beat the hell out of him for letting other guys touch him and now he wasn't even going to… It didn't make sense. _I'm disgusted by the very thought of him touching me but this makes no sense. _He knew he probably should have left well enough alone but it was nagging at him too much to sleep soundly. Finally after debating it for ten minutes he decided to question JBL.

"John?"

"What?" he snapped.

"What's the matter with you?"

"The same thing that's wrong with you every time I try to have a civil conversation with you."

"Yeah whatever. Look John. I don't know what your deal is but you spent the entire night trying to kill me for letting Cena touch me and now all of a sudden you're not paying attention to me? What's your deal?"

"Can you drop it Shawn? I'm trying to give you break here."

"By break you mean you're not going to touch me?"

"That's right. I have no desire…okay. Scratch that. I would love nothing more than to have you writhing in pleasure underneath me but not tonight. I think I'll put it off for a while."

"Put it off?" Shawn asked. "But why? Why can't we just get it over with!" he snapped. JBL was starting to get pissed off again.

"Let it go Shawn," he growled.

"I won't let it go! You told me that you wanted me so take me dammit!" JBL suddenly rolled over and pinned Shawn to the mattress. He grabbed his wrists pinning them above his head before slapping him in the face.

"YOU WANT IT NOW!? THEN TELL ME HOW YOU WANT IT!?!? ROUGH? GENTLE? Naa…you seem like more of a guy who takes it rough! Do you still want me to take you Shawn?" he yelled. Shawn just closed his eyes waiting for John to continue but he didn't. Instead, he just rolled off of him and turned back to the wall. "Go to sleep Shawn before I change my mind. I meant what I said. I'm in no mood to deal with you tonight." _Besides, I have my reasons for waiting… _Shawn decided to let it go. JBL seemed content enough and Shawn wasn't going to argue anymore with his good fortune. A part of him wished JBL would get it over with instead of prolonging the inevitable but he supposed he'd just have to deal with it when the time came. He turned his back to JBL and soon dozed off to sleep.

x-x-x

When Shawn woke the next morning, JBL was not in bed with him. Shawn sat up and looked around the room. _His stuff is still here but he's not. Oh well… Good for me._ Shawn happily rolled out of bed only to frown when he saw a piece of paper stuck to the mirror. _Oh damn._ Shawn slowly traipsed across the room to get the paper. He opened it up and as expected, it was a note from JBL. It read:

_I'm taking you to lunch. It will be an expensive lunch and I expect you to look the part. There's a baby blue Armani suit in the closet. I'll have the driver pick you up around twelve. He'll be driving the white Cadillac._

_JBL_

Shawn crumpled up the paper and groaned. He certainly did not feel like going to lunch with John but more than that, he hated having to dress up for it. He glanced over at the clock and realized that he only had an hour to get ready. _Guess I better hurry or else I'll be in trouble._ The thought amused Shawn as he hurried to get dressed for his lunch date.

x-x-x

JBL sat at the table he'd reserved for the both of them feeling slightly anxious. It was nearing 12:30 and Shawn still hadn't showed up. _Maybe he ditched the driver. No…He wouldn't do that. Maybe I should call him…Dammit. Calm down JBL. He'll be here or else. I'll hurt him! No...I can't...But he makes me so mad... He'll…_

"Are you going to quit twitching and glaring at all the waiters? You're starting to scare them off and I'm starving." JBL looked up to see Shawn standing over him with an amused look on his face. Amused sure beat the hell out of grumpy any day of the week and JBL was having a time hiding the fact that he was happy. It was a nice change seeing Shawn half way smiling rather than frowning. Not to mention he looked delicious in that baby blue. It only highlighted his face and his beautiful blue eyes. _Like an angel…_ "Are you going to stare at me all day?"

"Uh…no. It's just…you seem like you're in a good mood. I'm not used to your good moods yet."

"You probably shouldn't."

Shawn looked around the restaurant wondrously. He spotted a few married couples enjoying a nice romantic lunch while others seemed to be having business lunches. Despite that, they all seemed a bit snobbish. Not his kind of people. He finally cut his eyes back towards JBL who was staring intently at his menu. He wasn't frowning or wearing the arrogant smirk that he usually wore. Instead he looked like a decent guy and a nice guy at that. _There I go again. Trying to make JBL out to be a good guy when he's really the world's biggest jackass._ Shawn shook the thought as he went to his own menu.

"You know what you want yet sweetheart?"

"I hate that name and no I don't know. The entire menu's in Italian. Why couldn't we have gone somewhere like the Olive Garden? I bet they have the same food just menus in English rather than Spanish."

"Must you complain about everything," JBL muttered.

"No but you know I'm telling the truth."

"Fine. Next time we'll eat at the Olive Garden." _Anything to shut him up…_

"Can we go there now?"

"Why can't you just be satisfied eating here? You know how long it took me to get reservations for this place?"

"Well I'm sorry. I guess you'll be eating by yourself."

"As if you really have the authority to walk out of here."

"Maybe not but I don't have to eat." JBL looked up at him over his menu and frowned.

"Do you act like this ALL the time?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Shawn folded his arms across his chest and just glared at JBL pouting. JBL started to throw his napkin at him until Shawn started fidgeting with his bracelet. The way he played with it JBL was almost certain that he liked it despite the symbolism behind it. _Si je sais ce qu'est l'amour, c'est à cause de vous _JBL sighed at the thought of the inscription. _At the rate he's going, the inscription will be null and void. There's just know way he'd ever… Not that I expect him to…Ah damn. _

"Shawn?" The blonde looked up frowning. JBL let out a sigh as he stood to his feet. "Let's go."

"Go?"

"You want Olive Garden right?"

"Yeah…but I never expected you to actually listen so…"

"Shawn, count your blessings. Get your ass up and let's go before I change my mind," he grumbled. Shawn blinked several times before a smile crept up on his face. JBL rolled his eyes in order to mask the joy he felt from the smile. That smile seemed to tear right through him. He wasn't used to making people smile but Shawn's was definitely worth it. He was taken off guard again when Shawn jumped up and clasped his hand.

"Let's get out of here now! These people are creeping me out." He held JBL's hand leading him out the restaurant. JBL could only follow the blonde's lead all the while feeling a bit silly. _Why do I feel like I've just gone against everything I stand for?_ He'd just have to get used it for Shawn was always full of surprises.

* * *

_AN: My JBL muse is ready to set me on fire while the Shawn muse is highly amused. –dodges flamethrower- Don't hate me. I have a general idea how this is going to end but I get the feeling that I should wait until next Monday before I plan the ending. Like I said, don't be too mad that JBL seems nice because believe me, he's going to get meaner as the story progresses. One last thing, pay close attention the quotes that I put in each chapter from now on. Might give you a clue about things. That is all. Uh…review? –hides in a corner-_


	8. Defiance Has A Price

**AN: WARNING: **Um…yeah. I suppose I should warn you now that there may be some uh…disturbing scenes in the future but not too bad. If you can't handle light bdsm-like behavior then please turn away now. I am not one for writing dark fics but I feel that a scene or two of that nature may be needed in the future. Don't expect too much of this behavior though. I don't know if my stomach can handle it. You have been warned so no flames if you are completely grossed out by yaoi lemons. Anyway, and so we continue…

_"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel as a reminder of your strength."_**---- August Wilson**

* * *

It had been a full week and Chris still had not heard from Shawn. He'd tried calling him several times since last Monday's Raw but he figured JBL wasn't letting him answer his phone. So now it was another Monday night and Chris was anxious to see Shawn. He had made it his business to get to the arena a little bit early so he could maybe corner Shawn somewhere and talk with him. Chris Jericho parked his Mercedes and hurried inside the arena through the garage area. He immediately spotted a white limo that was none other than JBL's himself. The Texas Longhorn made sure his limo would be recognized like only an arrogant jerk would. Chris quickly took off towards the locker rooms. He hurried inside dropping his bags at the first locker so he could take a look around. He heard voices on the other side of the room which made him quicken his pace. _Please be Shawn… _But when he rounded the corner he let out an annoyed tsk.

"Cena…and Rey."

"Yeah it's just us. I can't help but note the extreme disappointment in your voice," Rey noted.

"Sorry but I'm looking for someone a bit more important than the two of you."

"You mean Shawn right?"

"None of your business." Chris stormed out of the locker room pissed at the world. He wasn't paying much attention and ended up bumping into someone.

"Shawn!" Shawn looked up and for a brief second he flinched before turning to leave.

"Oh no you don't." Chris grabbed his arm jerking him around and what he saw made his heart sink. Shawn had one black eye and there were noticeable scars on his swollen face.

"I'm not going to stand here just so you can stare at me all night. I have a match to get ready for tonight."

"No wait Shawn. I'm sorry. I just…never expected to see you look so…"

"We wrestle Chris. Injuries happen."

"Don't feed me that bullshit Shawn. You didn't look like this last Monday night so what the hell did he do to you?"

"Chris, let it go. I'm fine so just…" The door of the locker room burst open and out walked Cena and Rey Mysterio. Both of them took one look at Shawn and frowned.

"What the hell happened to you?" Cena asked.

"It's nothing!" Shawn snapped. "Just…can everyone please leave me the hell alone?" Shawn tried to burst through the three of them but both Cena and Chris blocked his path.

"Oh no. You ain't getting away that easily. Now you got two choices Shawn. Either you tell us what happened to you, or we'll just go straight to the source himself," Cena warned.

"Or I can just tell my boyfriend that I'm being harassed and he can deal with you himself. This isn't any of your concern so leave me alone." Cena was about to say something else when Rey stepped out front.

"You guys. Let him alone. It's clear that he doesn't want us all in his business so I say we respect his wishes. We don't have to like it because I sure as hell don't but I'm sure he can take care of himself." Cena and Chris really didn't like what Rey had to say but they decided that for now, it was probably for the best. With one last longing look at Shawn, the three guys took off back down the hall so they could converse. Shawn quickly darted inside the locker room and sat down on the bench. It took all he had to keep it together in front of his friends, especially Chris since he knew him so well and he couldn't have been more right. Those scars were definitely from a fight he'd had with John last week but he couldn't help but blame himself for the entire incident. _Maybe if I hadn't pushed him so far…_

They had gone to lunch to some really expensive restaurant. Shawn didn't like it there and had somehow convinced John that the Olive Garden would be so much better. Lunch had been enjoyable because John actually tried to be nice to Shawn. He went out of his way to hold doors from him and complained to all the waiters for not bringing their food and drinks in a more timely manner. A couple of times Shawn actually laughed during their lunch. JBL had absolutely no patience so it had been pretty hilarious watching his fuss people out. But after lunch things went downhill from there.

The ride back to the hotel had been okay until JBL decided to inform Shawn that he'd be screwing Rey Mysterio out of his spot for the fatal four-way.

"Huh? But why? Why can't you just win the fight on your own?"

"Because why should I over exert myself when I have you?"

"But that's going to ruin my friendship with Rey. He'll never forgive me for that. You know its always been his dream to become champ."

"And he's already done it once. Once is enough. Besides, that little runt was a disgrace to all those who held the title before him. He didn't deserve it."

"You know, just when I thought you couldn't get any lower you pull something like this. You know I already don't have many loyal friends. Don't make me do this John." John just rolled his eyes before smirking.

"I never said you had to do it Shawn, but if you don't then well…I suppose you know what'll happen." The limo halted in front of the hotel and Shawn immediately hurried out the car, slamming the door as hard as he could.

"What the…? Shawn you could have broken the door!"

"WOULD HAVE SERVED YOU RIGHT YOU JACKASS!"

"WHY YOU…" Shawn hurried inside the building paying no heed to JBL's shouting. He quickly headed inside one of the elevators and the door closed right before JBL could get to him. Shawn leaned against the wall and waited furiously for the door to open again. He got off on their floor and headed straight for their room. He pulled off the expensive jacket tossing it onto the floor. Before he could get out of his pants, John was storming inside the room cursing left and right.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? YOU LET THE FUCKING ELEVATOR DOOR CLOSE ON ME?!"

"Sure did and I'd do it again if given the chance. I hate you. You're trying to turn all my friends against me and I don't like it."

"THEN LEAVE! YOU PISS ME OFF ANYWAY!" He grabbed Shawn's arm dragging him towards the door.

"John…John wait a second…"

"Oh no. You say you hate me? Then fine. Hate me…and my money too. Make sure when you speak at Bret's funeral you tell his family that you let him die all because you're a selfish little brat!"

"No…John wait. Don't…DON'T DO THIS! YOU KNOW I CAN'T LEAVE!" he cried.

"Oh so you wanna stay? You hate my guts but you love my money?"

"Something like that but…I mean…"

"GET OUT!" John screamed. He opened the door for Shawn waiting for him to leave but instead, he ended up getting a punch in the face. Shawn slammed the door shut and stood in his face defiantly.

"I'm not leaving."

"Then you will do what I say or pay the price."

"Like I have much of a choice anyway," he grumbled. JBL was now furious. He grabbed Shawn's shoulders slamming him against the door. He placed a strong hand around Shawn's neck and began to squeeze slowly watching as Shawn's face began turning shades of pink and then blue.

"John…please…I…I can't breathe…" he choked.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to punch me in my face."

"I'm…I'm sorry…" JBL loosened his grip and watched slowly as the frail man before him took deep gasps of breath for air. Although a part of him wanted to feel remorse, he blocked it all out for the sake of himself. He was being too nice to Shawn, letting him get away with things he'd normally beat the hell out of others for. Well not anymore. That was all about to change right here and now.

"Shawn, sometimes sorry isn't enough. That being said, I think I'll put you to work tonight." Shawn glanced up at John, a small frown wrinkling his brow.

"Work?"

"Yeah you see Shawn, I'm beginning to think that maybe I've been a bit too nice to you lately and I need to make up for it," he smirked. Shawn was about to ask what he meant when JBL suddenly began loosening his tie. "I gave you a break last week Shawn because I was in a good mood. Of course, good mood or not, in the past, I would have beaten the hell out of you anyway for defying me. Well I hope you enjoyed your break because from here on out, you're definitely going to start earning your pay."

"What the hell does that mean?" Shawn asked. He soon got his answer when JBL suddenly unbuckled his pants revealing a bulge that was all too obvious. Shawn could not help but want to hurl all over the floor. He cut his eyes away from JBL trying to find something, ANYTHING that could take his mind off of what JBL was asking for.

"I believe I need you on your knees sweetheart. OVER HERE NOW!" he beckoned. Shawn closed his eyes and his mind immediately thought of Chris. _Yes. Think of Chris. I am about to please my ex lover Chris… _Shawn slowly approached John. He cast him the most disgusted look he could make before he felt himself being pushed to his knees.

"Don't fucking give me that look. If you weren't so fucking stubborn then you wouldn't be in this situation. Now do your job. You know what I want. Make it good or it will be bad for you," he growled. _Just think of Chris…Think of Chris…_ Shawn's hands were shaking almost uncontrollably as he reached inside JBL's pants to clasp his huge erection.

"Oh yeah…that's right…" he coaxed. "Hurry up and put it in your mouth!" he ordered. Shawn was taking too long. John grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled it hard until he cried out. "PUT MY DICK IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH RIGHT NOW!" He gave Shawn's hair another light tug and the blonde immediately covered his member, weeping softly as he did it. Thinking of how nice Chris tasted went out the window for it was hard to ignore JBL's grossness. Shawn moved his head back and forth over John's member trying his best to ignore the churning inside his stomach.

"Ohhhhh…..fuck Shawn…" John clasped the back of Shawn's head and began moving him at a faster pace. "Oh yeah…fuck…fuck…" he moaned. He squeezed Shawn's hair harder drawing a small whimper from the back of Shawn's throat. JBL slowed his pace but forced his member as far down Shawn's throat as he could causing the blonde to choke a little. JBL looked down at the crying man with an annoyed look before slapping him hard across the face.

"Oh give me a break. Suck it up and take it like a man," he snapped. He grabbed Shawn's head again and began thrusting harder and harder, his own moans seemingly drowning out Shawn's soft whimpers. "Oh fuck…Shawn…damn Shawn I'm going to cum…" With one final, rough thrust JBL released in Shawn's mouth. The blonde coughed and sputtered, spitting out as much of JBL's seed as he possibly could. JBL only smirked before grabbing Shawn by the hair, pulling him to his feet.

"Oh I'm not quite done with you yet sweetheart," he said softly. There was something about his tone of voice that had Shawn feeling on edge. _What more can he do to me?_ He felt himself being turned around and tossed against the door. JBL's big, burly body was soon next to his, his warm breath bouncing off of his ears.

"I'll teach you to punch me in the face you ungrateful bastard," he growled. JBL backed away leaving Shawn pinned against the door. He just knew what was coming. It was bound to happen sooner or later so he closed his eyes and prepared for it. Seconds later, his pants and boxers were being yanked down. He waited for his hips to be pulled out but instead he felt excruciating pain against his bottom almost bringing him to his knees. There was another loud smack and this time he did slide down the door.

"Stand up or your back will be next." JBL popped the belt again. Shawn slowly tried to stand but it wasn't quick enough for his boss. John wailed him three more times across his back and shoulders bringing Shawn to his knees in pain. At this point Shawn could no longer hold back the tears. He curled up on the floor and just sobbed uncontrollably. JBL used his foot to kick Shawn over until he was flat on his back. He drew back to hit him again but this time he managed to meet Shawn's gaze. For a brief moment, Shawn thought maybe JBL felt sorry for him and that he was going to stop, but he was wrong. JBL hit him one last time across his arms before he stormed across the room. He killed the lights and climbed into bed, leaving a pitiful Shawn curled up on the floor sobbing. It was cold and dark but JBL didn't care so Shawn ended up crying himself to sleep, curled up for trying to keep warm.

Just thinking about that night had Shawn in tears. His body was still sore from the belt strikes and his head hurt from the slap he'd received earlier for not wanting to tie John's shoes. _I bring this on myself. I constantly defy him even though he's helping me out. Yeah. I suppose I am an ungrateful bastard._ Shawn did not hear Cena enter the locker room and by the time he realized it, it was too late to run away.

"Shawn?" Shawn looked up and immediately began wiping his eyes.

"Cena. What do you want?"

"I was just…coming to get ready for the show but since you're here…"

"Leave me alone and get dressed." John just stood there observing the blonde but he really didn't need to. As soon as he entered the room he could see Shawn's wet face. Plus his eyes were saggy and red like he'd been crying so it was still pretty obvious that something was wrong.

"You were crying just now."

"So what?"

"People usually cry when they're sad or upset about something. What's wrong Shawn? As your friend and ex partner I deserve to know." Shawn jumped to his feet to leave but John was ready for him. He stopped Shawn by quickly clasping his shoulders pushing him against the lockers. Shawn winced from the pain and had to bite his lower lip to keep from crying out. Cena immediately let go of him and just stood there shocked.

"Shawn…that…that hurt you didn't it?" he asked softly.

"I…I don't know what…" Cena grabbed Shawn, pulling his body against him and immediately began assaulting him. "Cena…Cena stop!" he hissed, but he wouldn't. Cena's hands found there way underneath his shirt where he began to ghost his hands across the older man's back. What he found made his skin turn cold.

"Oh…Oh God. Shawn."

"CENA! I…I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF!" he screamed.

"Who did this to you?"

"JUST STAY OUT OF MY LIFE CENA!"

"It was John wasn't it?" he asked completely ignoring his friend. Shawn just shook his head before burying his face in his hands. He wished to God that he could turn the clock back. If he could, he never would have gotten involved with Bret. No…that's a lie. He loved Bret with all his heart. This whole situation is all my fault… "Shawn?" Shawn lifted his head meeting Cena's concerned gaze. That look. That concerned look of his always made Shawn's heart flutter but he couldn't let it phase him today. He would have to just get over his attraction to Cena no matter how much it hurt. Shawn forced the best smile that he could possibly make.

"I appreciate your concern Cena but I can assure you that I am alright. John and I had a fight last week and well…I kind of brought it on myself," he laughed. "I punched him in the face for something stupid and we ended up coming to blows. No relationship is complete without its share of fights. Our relationship isn't perfect Cena but I'm dealing with it." _It really was my fault so technically it isn't a lie…_

"You know Shawn, the way those words calmly rolled off your tongue, you almost made a believer out of me. Sorry sweetie but I don't buy it. You're hurting more than you're letting on."

"A little but…"

"And just now when I tried to touch you, you flinched. The day any person flinches when I touch them is the day I need to seek professional help. I'd never EVER hurt someone that I care about, someone that I love."

"Cena don't…"

"Shawn I don't care how angry you get or how hard you try and push me away. Every time I see you I'm going to remind you that I love you." He cupped Shawn's face forcing him to look up. "I love you so much but I still can't understand why you'd choose him over me," he said sadly. Cena's words struck Shawn life a knife to the gut almost bringing him to tears but he fought it off. _Choose him over you? Never Cena. I do love you. I think I loved you before you loved me but I can't be with you._

"I…I have to go Cena."

"Wait Shawn. I have to…just one…please." He leaned forward capturing Shawn's lips for a kiss. It was supposed to be quick and painless but once Cena's lips made contact with Shawn's he forgot all about the fact that Shawn wasn't his. He wrapped his arms around Shawn deepening the kiss and Shawn just melted into him. Cena's lips left his and moved to his neck but Shawn somehow managed to push him away.

"No…Cena. I…I'm leaving." Shawn rushed past Cena out of the locker room. The kiss had felt so good but he had to get away. It would have been all too easy to just bury himself into his former partner. Shawn didn't get very far. He turned the corner and ran right into his boss JBL. Shawn could feel the hairs standing on his body as JBL studied him. _Oh God…please don't let him notice…_

"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked giving Shawn a knowing look.

"My match is coming up. I…I didn't want to be late."

"I see. Well don't just stand there. Get going. You lose that match and it's your ass…literally." Shawn nodded before running off towards the curtain. Tonight's match would be the only relief from the hell he was living. He just hoped that he could avoid Cena for the rest of the night otherwise it would mean trouble for the both of them.


	9. Encounter

_"Relationships--of all kinds--are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost."_  
_**-Kaleel Jamison**_

_**

* * *

**_Shawn won his match easily. Glen was always pretty slow in the ring anyway so their match was quick and painless…well, at least for Shawn. After he won, he quickly headed backstage to wait for John's match. He decided to stay in the camera room so that he wouldn't be disturbed. Also, it was an easy way to watch the match for the perfect opportunity to interfere. _Yes, its better this way. If I'm in the halls then someone might realize that I'm feeling bad._ And he was. He was feeling overly sick to his stomach and with good reason. Not only was Rey one his good friends, but he also considered Shawn to be his idol and not just performance wise. Nope. Rey once told Shawn that he looked up to him because he was a good guy; a man of his word and the purest heart he'd ever known.

There was a loud roar from the crowd and Shawn shook his head. Though he'd been staring intently at the monitor for several minutes, he wasn't really paying attention. He sort of zoned out as he thought about Rey. He watched as Rey began setting John up for the 619. _Time to go…_

x-x-x

Shawn hurried back behind the curtain and headed straight for the locker room. He was so angry at himself and John that he could have just cried. And he did. He hurried straight for the showers, not even bothering to get out of his gear. He just turned on the water and stood underneath it, letting the water drown his thoughts and his body as he sobbed. A part of him felt like just wasting away. If he were to drop dead then he would be free of all his burdens. No more past mistakes would be forcing him to endure months of pain. It would also relieve a good man of his burden from loving a man who could not love him in return. _Cena…why am I thinking of him at a time like this?_ The more Shawn allowed himself to think, the harder he began to cry.

All of a sudden he heard a crash and then several voices entering the room. Shawn's body immediately froze as he listened to the screaming voices.

"WHAT THE HELL CENA?!? I CAN'T! I CANNOT LET THIS GO! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT TITLE SHOT MEANT TO ME! HOW COULD HE DO THIS?!?!"

"Calm down Rey. I know it seems bad but…"

"Seems bad?" he repeated softly. "Don't give me that. You're the fucking champ already. It's guys like me who always get the short end of the stick."

"Rey look. I'm sorry that it went down like that but we both know Shawn's a good guy."

"Shawn WAS a good guy until he hooked up with that freak! DAMMIT!" It sounded as if Rey tossed a chair against the wall and Shawn jumped. His body seemed to go cold and his heart seemingly stopped.

"Come on Rey. Don't judge him just yet. We don't…We don't know the full extent of his…"

"Yeah well as of last week we know they are a couple and he's working for him. That's all I need to know. As long as he stays with that freak then I'm pretty certain we can rule Shawn out of the 'decent human beings' category. He screwed me over Cena. I cannot forgive him for this."

"Rey listen to me. Give him a chance to explain himself. Maybe…I'm sure he had a reason…"

"Whatever man. You're just blinded because he's your crush."

"I'm not blinded Rey and he's not a crush. I have deep feelings for the man and in my heart I believe he's still a good guy."

"Well I tell you what. For the sake of trying to save a friendship, I'll talk with him about it but not tonight. I'm too fucking ill…I could have sworn Stephanie promised me a title shot but whatever. There's no telling what JBL fed her to get me screwed over like this. Anyway man I'm out. I need to get out of here on the real. Hasta luego ma chico." Shawn listened as the door of the locker room slammed shut then once again, he was engulfed in the sound of his own breathing and the running water from the shower. Shawn closed his eyes cursing himself silently. _If I never would have fallen in love with Bret…_

x-x-x

Shawn had no idea how long he'd been standing under the shower. He just knew that his whole body felt numb and he had a major headache. _I feel like…everything's going dark…_

"Shawn? Oh my God Shawn!" Strong arms embraced him pulling him from underneath the cold water. Shawn's body was shaking uncontrollably and he was hyperventilating. Cena grabbed the nearest towel wrapping it around Shawn as he shoved him out of the shower area. He led a zombie-like Shawn to the back of the locker room and pushed him gently against the back wall. Cena pressed his body against Shawn's and they both just stood there silently. After a while Shawn's body stopped shaking and Cena could feel warmth emitting between them.

"Thank God," Cena whispered. "For a minute there I thought I was going to have to drive you to the hospital."

"I'm…I'm fine." Shawn's voice was a bit raspier than usual and he was stuttering some.

"You're still cold. Why'd you…? You know what? Don't answer that. This is just another excuse to get near you." Cena pulled Shawn forward and wrapped his arms around him. Shawn let his guard down and just buried himself into Cena. Cena's arms emitted a warmth that seemed to make all Shawn's problems go away.

"How…how'd you know I was in there?" he managed.

"Well...I had a little talk with Rey and then I went looking for you. When I couldn't find you, I thought about how you like showering alone and it hit me that the shower was running when I was in here earlier. I figured it had to have been you. It just shocked the hell out of me to find you in a cold shower. You were practically drowning yourself! I'm just glad I got here when I did or who knows what might have happened. The thought of losing you…" Cena's voice trailed off and once again there was an eerie silence that swept over the room. Shawn sighed into Cena chest then spoke quietly.

"I'm glad you came for me. If you had not come when you did I probably would have passed out or something. Standing under that shower after hearing Rey's words…"

"Shawn he didn't mean it."

"Yes he did and I understand. I let him down and I deserve whatever he says to me next week."

"No you don't. I mean, quite naturally anybody would be pissed about getting screwed over and I would ask why you did it but I know you're not going to tell me. So I'll just say this. Shawn, whatever it is you got going on with that douche I hope it's worth changing who you are."

"Changing? I'm not changing John."

"The Shawn Michaels I fell in love with never would have done that. But I'm not here to lecture you. I love you enough to trust your decisions no matter how bizarre they may seem right now." Shawn looked up at Cena trying desperately to find some reason to hate him; some reason to just lash out at him to push him away but he couldn't. Cena bent his head pressing his lips to Shawn's. The kiss was short lived because as soon as Cena kissed him, the door of the locker room burst open. Shawn quickly pushed Cena away to find a smirking JBL coming inside.

"Cena…Shawn…there's my boy. Shawny I've been looking everywhere for you sweetheart. I wanted to tell you what a great job you did tonight. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in the running for another title shot."

"Yeah well I'm sure Shawn's just _thrilled_ that he could be of some service, but I don't really think he's in a celebratory mood. Look at him. The man's freezing his ass off, not that you care enough to notice," Cena snorted.

"Freezing?" JBL took a closer look at Shawn and realized that he was soaking wet. His shirt was clinging tightly to him revealing hints of fully erect nipples. His pants were also clinging to him and water was dripping from his wet hair onto his boots. "Shawn? Why the hell are you all wet?"

"He's wet because he was trying to drown himself!"

"Cena…" Shawn started but was cut off by Bradshaw.

"Drown himself? Why?"

"Because you made him betray a good friend tonight," Cena answered. He left Shawn's side and approached JBL stopping just a few inches from him. He lowered his voice speaking quietly in almost a dangerous tone. "You're controlling him and I don't like it." JBL only smirked at Cena, highly amused by his defending of Shawn.

"I think you got the wrong idea boy. You see John, I am not controlling Shawn. In fact, Shawn can do whatever he wants when he wants."

"Is that right?" he inquired. John let out a haughty laugh before motioning towards Shawn.

"Ask him yourself."

"Shawn will only say what you want him to say because you're controlling him. I'm not stupid John, but what I can't figure out is why? Why would someone as sweet and headstrong as Shawn go against everything he stands for just to please you?"

"I don't know. You're gonna have to ask him that, but I think I know what the real issue is John."

"Oh really? Do tell."

"I think your real problem with me is that I have Shawn and you don't."

"What?"

"Oh don't give me that. Hell, Cena it's no secret that you like Shawny boy but the fact of the matter is this: you can't have him because he belongs to me."

"You say that like he's a piece of property to own." JBL only shrugged.

"Take it however you like Wonder Boy. Now if you'll excuse me, Shawn and I need to get going. Come along boy. We need to get some sleep. Early plain to catch in the morning." With his head hanging low, Shawn obediently started past Cena towards JBL. When he got within arm's reach, JBL pulled him close and kissed the side of his cheek, smirking at Cena. _I think I'll have some fun with Cena…Teach him to touch my angel…_ Cena clenched his fists furiously but chose to stay quiet. JBL suddenly spun Shawn around clasping his waist. He bent his head low and spoke softly in his ear.

"Why don't you say good bye to your friend here?"

"Uh…"

"Do it. Tell Cena good-bye for me." Not wanting to anger JBL, Shawn did as he was told, speaking softly as he stared down at the floor.

"Good-bye Cena."

"Hn…very good now do one more thing for me," he said softly. JBL pulled Shawn against his body kissing the top of his head while an angry Cena looked on._ I will not let JBL get to me. I will ignore him no matter how much I wanna pound his face in…_ But the sad look on Shawn's face made it even harder to concentrate on his thoughts. He watched as JBL ran a hand down Shawn's chest then quickly slipped it under his tight shirt ghosting his hand over Shawn's flesh. The older man closed his eyes to keep from having to endure Cena's piercing gaze but even that couldn't cloud the feeling of embarrassment. JBL lowered his head to nip at Shawn's neck while he slowly inched his shirt up. A part of Cena was ready to tear into JBL…rip him to shreds but another part of him secretly longed to be doing all those things to Shawn. _But still…I can't just watch this…_

"Look Bradshaw, I get it. Shawn's your man and you can touch him how you like but can I at least leave first before you go any further? I'd rather not watch my lo… my ex partner making out with his douche bag lover."

"Naa. I think you should stay for the show. Wouldn't you agree Shawn?" he teased. Shawn hesitated to answer until he felt a nipple being pinched – and hard. He winced and a soft whimper escaped his throat, just enough to get Cena's blood boiling. When Shawn still didn't answer, JBL pinched him again making him cry out softly.

"Yes," he managed. "He…Cena should stay."

"OH COME ON JOHN! YOU KNOW…YOU SEE HE'S TIRED AND FREEZING! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM WHILE HE'S LIKE THAT _AND_ IN FRONT OF ME?!?!" Cena yelled. JBL only smirked as both hands moved to Shawn's sides lifting the wet shirt up and over Shawn's head. Shawn shuddered immediately, the cool air from the locker room hitting his wet skin like a strong wind. Cena's eyes couldn't help but to stare at the chest he'd always longed to touch but he brushed the thoughts. JBL's hands slid up Shawn's chest where he pinched both nipples between his fingers.

"Well Cena, if you don't stay then there's no telling what I might do to Shawny boy here. You don't want to see him get hurt again do you?" Cena looked at Shawn but his ex partner only lowered his eyes to the floor refusing to meet Cena's gaze.

"DAMMIT JBL! WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?!"

"Whoever said I was playing? Besides, you seem to have taken a liking to him so why not sit down and enjoy the show?"

"A liking yes, but how does that justify…"

"Because I saw you two while ago. As I walked in Shawn pushed you away from him. You were assaulting him like always; assaulting a piece of property that belongs to me. Somebody's gotta pay the price and it's either you or him. You stay and Shawn gets off easy tonight but you leave…" His voice trailed off and he grinned. "There's just no telling what I'll do to him when we get back to the hotel. Then again, maybe Shawn liked it when I was…"

"OKAY! Alright. I'll…I'll stay but JBL I swear to God…"

"No threats Cena. You touch me, I hurt him. Simple as that." Cena stood there for a moment in complete and utter shock. Whether he liked it or not, JBL had him in quite the predicament. _If I leave then Shawn might get hurt again. There were wheps on his back. I felt them which means that bastard must have beat him something serious last week. I love him too much to let him get hurt._ Cena sighed. _Just a small price to pay for getting involved. _Cena cast JBL an evil glare before taking a seat at a nearby bench, holding his head between the palms of his hands.

"Oh look sweetheart? Cena has decided to stay for the show," John whispered. He bit down on Shawn's earlobe drawing a slight hiss from his boyfriend. Cena quickly looked up and met Shawn's gaze. Shawn looked like he wanted to cry which in turn made Cena feel guilty. _How can I sit here and watch this?_ Cena jumped up to his feet again shaking his head.

"JBL I can't…" But another small whimper from Shawn put Cena back in his seat. JBL grinned before burying his head in the side of Shawn's neck.

"Mmm…Shawn. You smell so good. I bet you taste even better." He bit into Shawn's neck drawing out another small hiss from his captive. Cena could only watch as the man he loved was being violated by that bastard. _Just how far is this douche willing to go?_ He soon got his answer when JBL thrust a hand inside of Shawn's pants clasping his member. Cena's body began to tremble. Sure he was getting turned on but at the same time, he feared his anger was the cause of his trembling.

"John…please…don't do this in front of me…" Cena pleaded but JBL ignored him. He began pumping Shawn's member slowly getting him hard. As much as Shawn hated it, he couldn't stop himself from getting aroused. It wasn't long before his eyes closed welcoming the pleasure of John's hands on his cock. JBL bit down into Shawn's neck as he began pumping faster and faster. He could feel the pre-cum leaking onto his hands helping his hand slide easily up and down Shawn's cock. Shawn tried his best to keep sounds from escaping him but JBL's playful tugging had him whimpering for more.

"Mmm…you like that Shawn?" JBL teased. John looked up to see Cena standing with his eyes closed. His hands were by his sides and he was shaking furiously. "Cena, I think you should open your eyes for this part," he teased.

Cena slowly opened his eyes watching painfully as Shawn leaned into JBL while he stroked him senseless. Shawn's eyes were closed and he was moaning softly as his body rested against JBL's chest. JBL licked the side of Shawn's face and with one final stroke, Shawn's knees buckled. He cried out as he released into JBL's hand, his body shaking from his orgasm. JBL held Shawn into place until he completely stopped moving. When Shawn finally recovered from his release, he looked up to see Cena staring back at him. He had a look on his face that was a combination of anger and hurt which made Shawn want to drop dead. JBL kissed Shawn's cheek again causing the blonde to blush.

"Well Cena. I hope you enjoyed the show. Don't know when the next one will be but if you continue to piss me off, I'll let you watch me fuck him next time."

"JBL I swear to God that you will get yours."

"Oh I already got mine thank you." Cena cursed under his breath before storming out of the locker room slamming the door. He didn't even hear Chris calling his name at first.

"CENA!"

"WHAT?!" he snapped. "Oh…sorry Chris."

"Uh…don't be. What the hell's wrong with you? Your face is redder than cherry blow pop and uh…you seem to have a need to release some tension," he frowned staring down at Cena's obvious erection. Cena rolled his eyes then let out a huge breath.

"Chris, I'm seriously about ready to go to jail here. JBL is going make me set him on fire and not in a good way."

"What he do now?"

"I JUST WATCHED HIM HAND FUCK THE MAN I LOVE AND YOU KNOW WHY I WATCHED?! BECAUSE THE FUCKING BASTARD SAID HE'D HURT HIM IF I DIDN'T WATCH! I CAN'T…I COULDN'T JUST LEAVE KNOWING WHAT I KNOW ABOUT HIM!"

"Cena calm down…"

"I CAN'T CALM DOWN CHRIS! HE HAD FUCKING WHEPS ON HIS BACK AND I KNOW THAT BASTARD DID IT TO HIM!"

"Cena…lower your voice!" Chris hissed. "I know you hate what's going on but it's not going to make it any better for Shawn if everyone knows his business."

"Then what do we do Chris? What do we do?" His voice began to crack and Cena began pacing the hall. After a while Chris spoke up again.

"I…I wanna help him too Chris. Just like you, I loved Shawn very much and I still love him. I…But I don't think he needs to hear it from us."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I have an idea. Let's go get a drink and we'll talk about it."

* * *

**AN: I now know why JBL creeps me out. My friend named LadyKitana told me that JBL has a pedophile auror about him and I have to say I agree. I mean COME ON!! The way he smirks at Shawn with his creepy pedo smirk. Shawn's like the baby boy of Raw and everyone's out to get him. I do realize that Shawn's an adult but think about it. JBL's a creepy little something but I LOVE him right now. Yeah. I'm a weirdo but this storyline is growing on me. Plus, did anyone else notice the similarities between what happened last Monday and my story? I flipped my lid when Shawn got out of that limo. I squealed like a shameless fangirl when they announced that ShawnCena match! I cannot wait til Monday. If I had my way, Cena would kiss Shawn. Hope you enjoyed the update. May type one more chapter before Monday night if I have time. BTW, I made a kick ass youtube video using Sony Vegas about JBL and Shawn. If you want the link, leave a review with a request for it and I'll send it to you. Its been a hit so far and I did for you all b/c I always make videos to go with my fics. Now review! :D**


	10. Enlightenment

AN: I'm not sure if I did a proper disclaimer and I plan to go back and add one to the first chapter. However, I'm pretty certain you're all aware that I do NOT own anything remotely related to the WWE so no need to sue. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know that sometimes I'll really be pushing that 'M' rating. Of course, I don't plan to make this story long at all but that's not the point. You should be warned that there's some really graphic situations that even I shutter to write. (Mainly because some people are just too gross to write about.) So if you don't like really foul language, disturbing images or rough man sex, then turn away now. O.O I mean really. Like, I've read worse stuff than what I attempted to write but I'm dead serious about this. Don't read if you cannot handle the mental images.

"_You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."_**---Anonymous**

_

* * *

_

When Cena finally stormed out of the room, Shawn just turned to JBL and glared. JBL seemed highly amused by Shawn so the glare wasn't affecting him at all.

"How could you?" Shawn asked softly. His whole body was starting to tremble from his anger and he was trying his best not to punch JBL in the face. JBL's smirk turned into a huge grin angering the blonde even more.

"Because I felt like it. Besides, I saw him with you Shawn. I _KNOW_ he kissed you just now."

"But I pushed him away!"

"Yeah I know but had I not walked in that door you would have welcomed that kiss and you know it." JBL was no longer smirking. Just as quickly his face went from one of amusement to that of an angry pit bull. "You listen here Shawn, don't forget that I _OWN_ you. I do what I want to you when I want to you. In case you haven't noticed sweetheart, I'm a real selfish bastard. I don't like it when other people touch what's rightfully mine. I **BOUGHT** you which means I **OWN** you. Don't like it? Then too fucking bad. Now put some dry clothes on so we can get going. I think tonight calls for a celebration."

JBL left the locker room leaving Shawn to his thoughts. He could not believe what that bastard had done just now. Sure he always heard that JBL was evil but he never thought the man would do something like this. _But he beat me the other night…like I was some kind of animal…_ Just the thought of that night made him shudder. He had been fairly certain JBL was going to force himself on him but he didn't, at least not the way he expected him to. JBL beat him with a belt and made Shawn give him a blow job. It had been hell for him but for some reason this whole incident with Cena hurt him more. _He stood there and watched JBL touch me… He did it for me because he loves me and instead of trying to show some kind of dignity by fighting back, I showed Cena how pathetic I am by just standing there… _But Shawn had no choice. He knew this yet he still couldn't help but beat himself up.

"SHAWN HURRY UP! WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG?!" The locker room had opened up again and in walked JBL. Shawn jumped at the sound his voice and quickly started changing out of his wet clothes.

"I'm…coming."

"Alright but hurry. I don't want the guys to leave." Shawn managed to change quickly and then he left, leaving all thoughts of Cena behind him.

**x-x-x**

A few minutes later Shawn and JBL were entering a bar. It was pretty crowded and there were drunks singing and dancing all over the place. Typical bar Shawn thought until he saw what some people were doing at their tables. There were several tables that had guys giving each other blow jobs in front of everybody. Drunks were surrounding the couples tossing beer everywhere, shouting and hollering; basically cheering them on. A few others would shove people out of the way to get in on the action. Shawn couldn't help but feel uneasy. _Just why the hell would anyone want to hang out in here?_

JBL led Shawn to a small area near the back of the bar. There was another door that led to another room but a big bouncer guy was standing in front of it.

"Hey Derrick. Are the guys here yet?" John asked.

"Yeah. Glen and the others are inside." JBL reached on the inside of his jacket and pulled out his wallet. He gave the bouncer a hundred dollar bill. "Thanks man."

"Don't mention it. Just do your job and you'll keep getting paid."

"Yes, sir." He opened the door for them and they headed inside. Shawn was pleasantly surprised by how nice the room looked. When you first enter the bar, it looks just like any other old bar but this room was the exception. It was small but quite roomy. The floor was carpeted in red and there were matching club chairs, much nicer than the ones in the bar area, surrounding two small round tables. The only light was two small disco balls emitting all colors of blue, green, and red all around the room. On the far wall was a juke box that looked very, very expensive and then the biggest surprise was the hot tub. Shawn was about to ask John about it when he felt himself being led towards one of the tables where some familiar faces were sitting. Mark's younger brother Glen was seated at a table along with Adam and his ex rival Kurt Angle. _Three guys I really hate…_

"John! I was starting to worry about you!"

"Oh well. I got caught up. I had to uh…put a few people in their place." John motioned for Shawn to take the seat next to Glen and John sat next to him.

"Caught up huh? Doesn't surprise me considering your circumstances," Adam snickered.

"Yeah well I'm pretty sure I nipped it in the bud," John chuckled. "But enough of that. Tonight was a very good night for me and so I thought I'd celebrate." John put his arm around Shawn pulling him close. The blonde cringed at JBL's touch but he didn't struggle. He refused to give John any ammunition to use against him in front of his enemies.

"Oh?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah. You see thanks to my new employee here, I now have a 50/50 chance of facing that douche bag John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship at the Rumble."

"Oh yeah. I saw that earlier," Glen replied. "We got here early so we could watch the show and man was it ever the show. Poor Rey Rey."

"Yeah I know," Adam grinned. "Bet he never saw that coming."

"Nope. But it was for his own good. His skinny ass should be competing in a division for midgets and not with grown men like myself." At this Shawn pushed away from John and just glared at him.

"He is not a midget John. He's a damn good wrestler who practically wrestled rainbows around you tonight." _Ooops._ He knew he shouldn't have said it but he couldn't help it. It was because of him that Rey was ready to kick his ass so it was hard to just sit there and listen to them talk about his friend like that. Plus, he told himself a while back that even though JBL practically owned him he would not turn him into some heartless bastard like himself. He would continue to speak up despite all the pain it caused him. He couldn't help it. All his life he stood up for what he believed in and never held his tongue. Why should he start now? It sounded good to him at first; that sudden burst of confidence but it would soon shatter to bits.

"You know Shawn, you're really working my nerves tonight," John groaned. He slammed his fist on the table causing Shawn to jump. The other guys just snickered for they were enjoying watching everyone's hero flinch.

"And you're working mine," Shawn muttered. JBL cast Shawn an angry glance before a smile crept up on his face. He slowly stood to his feet, took off his hat, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Shawn I…believe it or not, I was trying to be nice to you. I mean, I know you're probably still pissed about the whole Cena thing and I know how feisty you get when you're pissed. I was going to buy you a drink and discuss plans for the match next week but you _had_ to be a smart ass and I HATE smart asses." He put his hat back on his head and started towards the door.

"Where…are you going?" Shawn questioned. As much as he hated JBL right now, he didn't want to be left alone with those three lunatics either. JBL was the lesser of three evils so being with his boss would have been way better than sitting with those three.

"I'm leaving for a while. You've pissed me off and I need to go cool off. If I stay, I might beat you to death and I can't do that this week. I need you at your best for next week's match." JBL suddenly stopped at the door. Shawn couldn't see it, but JBL was grinning from ear to ear. "Boys, do what you like with him. Make him serve you martinis or something, I don't care. You can do anything you want except touch him. Do not put your hands on him," he warned before exiting the room leaving a furious Shawn behind him.

**x-x-x**

_"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."_**---- Amy Carmichael**

**---  
**

Cena and Chris entered the bar and chose seats at a small booth not too far from the actual bar area. Chris left to get them some drinks and returned moments later with two cold beers.

"Thanks Chris," Cena mumbled.

"Don't mention it. So now that you've calmed down enough, do you think you can tell me what actually went down between you and JBL?" Cena took a big gulp of beer and sighed.

"I don't…want to talk about it."

"But we need to talk about it Cena. I don't like you and you don't like me but the one thing we have in common involves Shawn. We need to talk this out so that maybe we can get to the bottom of this JBL thing."

"Fine. What do you wanna know?"

"Well for starters I'd like to know everything that's happened between you and Shawn recently. I always knew you had a thing for him. When I watched the two of you wrestle on tv at home, I could see it in your eyes. But you said that you and Shawn were supposedly a couple…"

"Not at the time. You see, he was still in a relationship with Hunter but I could tell he wasn't very happy. There were times when we'd end up in awkward situations but they never really went too far. He wouldn't allow himself to be swept away."

"So you made your move ages ago?"

"Well…yeah but at the time I didn't understand that what I was feeling was love. When I finally got back a few weeks ago, I had made up my mind that I was going to try to be just friends with him. That was the plan until that bastard JBL confronted me in the hall," he spat.

"Why'd he do that?" Cena took another sip of his beer before scoffing.

"Stupid idiot was on some kick about making sure no one touched his precious Shawn," he mocked. "Threatened to kick my ass and anyone else's if they bothered him. I just looked at him like he was a damn fool."

"Yeah he uh…kind of cornered me about Shawn too. At the time, I thought it was just a joke you know. He had told me that he and Shawn were dating but I really didn't pay Layfield any attention because I just knew Shawn was probably still into you."

"Well I guess we were both wrong…no…that's not fair…DAMMIT!" Cena yelled. He slammed his beer bottle onto the table and sighed. "I'm sorry Chris. It's just I really don't get it."

"Well I did find it odd at first but I think there's more to it than that."

"What do you mean?"

"Just think about it. You remember a few weeks ago when Vince's company stock dropped 800 points?"

"Yeah."

"Well a few people got the news from Vince about some serious monetary issues. I'm not saying that Shawn was one of them but…with his current storyline and all…"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Time out." Cena leaned forward frowning. "You're not suggesting that the dumb ass storyline that he's got with JBL is also true in real life are you?"

"I did some serious thinking the other night and realized that it makes perfect sense. Why else would he be following behind Bradshaw unless he just HAD to do it? And according to you, Layfield's controlling him like a puppet. On screen he's doing the same thing which might explain why Shawn's playing his part so well. He's hurting for real and it's spilled out on screen." Both men were silent for several second until Cena chuckled.

"Damn Chris. I…You've got my head spinning with all your theories but I can't find a reason to argue against it. Shawn…but of all the people to work for…if he's desperate for money, why not go to Vince McMahon himself? It still makes no sense."

"Yeah I know. I've thought about that too and the only thing I can come up with is that maybe he didn't want to go to the boss for help. But…but there's something else John." Chris's expression suddenly turned grim which scared Cena a little.

"What else Chris?"

"I…I think Shawn's hiding something. He's hiding a lot of things from us and because it is his personal life, we can't really make him tell us anything but…for him to go to JBL might mean there's something he'd rather Vince not know about."

"But what…" Cena was cut off by the shadow of a figure looming over their table. He looked up to see JBL standing over them smiling. Cena started to stand but Chris shook his head.

"Don't give him the satisfaction."

"Fine." Cena plumped back down in his chair and just glared up at JBL. "So why the hell did you come over here? You know I can't stand you and if given the chance I'd break all your arms and fucking legs."

"Now, now Cena," he chuckled. JBL pulled a chair up and took a seat between them, though he made sure to sit closer to Chris. "I was just…in the neighborhood and spotted the two of you. Didn't want to be rude by not speaking."

"We prefer you to be rude. That way we don't have to acknowledge your existence whenever we uh…spot you in the neighborhood," Chris shot back.

"Oh come on Chris. I haven't done anything to you. I can understand Cena's hostility but why are you so angry at me? It's not like Shawn was yours…"

"Speaking of Shawn," Chris interrupted. "Where is he?"

"Oh he's hanging out with a couple of his friends," he said dismissively.

"Hunter?" Cena asked. JBL just laughed at him.

"Like I'd be stupid enough to leave him alone with an ex boyfriend. Naa…he's hanging out with a couple of carefully hand picked friends of mine."

"Like?"

"Glen, Adam, and uh…Kurt."

"Why you sanctimonious son of a bitch," Chris snapped. "Those guys hate Shawn! They'd rip him to shreds just for the hell of it and you know it!"

"Yeah well he should have thought about that before he snapped my head off."

"Sorry Chris. I'm kicking his ass now!" Cena lunged at JBL but the Texas Longhorn anticipated it by moving out of the way. Cena ran at John again only to have Chris block his path.

"DAMMIT CHRIS LET ME GO! I'LL KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH! HE LEFT SHAWN WITH THOSE CREEPS!"

"We're leaving Cena before you get us in trouble." Cena finally calmed down and stormed out of the bar past all the whispering drunks. Meanwhile Chris just stood there staring JBL down. He wasn't going to leave until he had said his piece.

"You know John I have a pretty good idea of what's _really_ going on between you and Shawn."

"Oh do you?"

"Yeah I do. John's too blinded by his hatred of you to see what's really going on but I know Shawn and I know YOU. Shawn's taking money from you but what I can't figure out is why."

"If you're as smart as you say you are then you should know why," he challenged.

"Well my theory is that he's hiding something and whatever it is he figures you're the only one that can help him."

"That could be it," he shrugged. "But unless Shawn tells you then you'll never know. For all you know we're just a normal couple with normal problems."

"Normal to you maybe but it isn't normal when your boyfriend's terrified of you."

"So what if he's scared of me? He wouldn't have to be if he'd just do what I tell him to do."

"You know JBL, if Shawn's your boyfriend then that must mean you care about him."

"Huh? Care about him?"

"Yeah. I mean come on. Why else would you be with someone if you didn't really care for him?"

"Maybe we're together because we share similar interests that don't necessarily require us to actually 'care' for one another."

"I see. Well if that's the case then why not let him see other people?"

"Because he belongs to **me**," John growled. "I bought him which makes him my property."

"John…God John you are so thick! You know what? I really can't stand you but I've never really hated you like Cena. I always thought that you were just a cut throat business man who showed no remorse because he was happy. You have everything you could ever want so why not? Why not offer your services for the hell of it but now…"

"Now what Chris?"

"I think you're even more pathetic than Shawn could ever be."

"Chris listen to me…"

"No. YOU listen to ME John. You took something from me and Cena that we care about very much so no, we're not going to just _let this go._ Have you…have you any idea how it feels to be in love? Or how it feels to lose someone you care about?" JBL was suddenly silent staring down at the floor. "I didn't think so."

"OF COURSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS DAMMIT!" John snapped. He was now staring at Chris with a disgusted yet dangerous look that could have scared anyone to death…anyone except Chris who was determined to get his point across.

"Horrible isn't it. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different than any other stupid person wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They just did something dumb one day like smile at you and then BOOM! You're in love."(1)

"What are you getting at Chris? What's your point?"

"My point is that I love Shawn and so does Cena. Shawn showed the slightest bit of care or concern for us one day and now we're lovesick puppies. But in order for you to even begin understanding why we're so upset you'd have to _know_ love. You'd have to have had your heart ripped to shreds to understand why we're so jealous of you right now."

"Well you can have him back when I'm done with him," he stated flatly. Chris just shook his head.

"A man like you could never understand but I have faith. Shawn's special. I used to be just like you until Shawn walked into my life. You don't realize the opportunity you have right now but you will," Chris said with a smile. "Funny thing is by the time you realize it, it will be too late. You'll have lost him due to your own selfish pride."

"ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'VE HEARD ALL I CARE TO HEAR FROM YOU!" Chris threw his hands up and started backing away.

"I'm leaving. I've said my piece, but this isn't over John. Not by a long shot. I won't quit until I get to the bottom of this relationship and when I find out the truth, Shawn won't have a need for your services any longer." And with that Chris was heading out the door leaving an angry and confused JBL behind.

**x-x-x**

_"I'd like to run away from you but if you didn't come and find me, I'd surely die…"_ **---Shirley Bassey**

**--  
**

"Well, well boys. What shall we do with Shawny boy here?" Adam asked. Glen and Kurt just laughed as they eyed the blue-eyed beauty mockingly.

"I don't know," Glen answered. "Not much we can do since John pretty much forbid us from touching him," he shrugged.

"Forbid us from touching him but didn't say anything about _him_ touching _us_," Kurt said with a grin. The guys all looked towards Shawn and smiled.

"You know Kurt, you're absolutely right," Adam reasoned. They all looked at Shawn with a newfound interest which made him frown.

"I love how you're talking about me as if I wasn't in the room. And you can wipe those grins off of your faces because I am NOT going anywhere near any of you."

"Oh I beg to differ," Kurt challenged. "You see Shawn it's no secret that I hate your guts but it's nothing personal. It's more or less I hate you because you're always in the spotlight. When I worked for Vince, all he would talk about is his _precious Shawn_ and how you set the bar for everything blah blah bullshit! I won two fucking gold medals and wrestled my ass off in the Olympics yet YOU'RE the one everyone talks about." Kurt let out a haughty laugh and then continued. "Other than that Shawn, I have nothing against you. You're beautiful and truth be told, I'd fuck the hell out of you if given the chance."

"Like hell you will!" Adam and Glen cast each other wary looks before reaching across the table, grabbing Shawn's shirt. They drug him over the table and onto the floor laughing as they did it.

"LET ME GO!"

"Oh no. You're about to make Kurt's dream come true," Adam sang. Glen and Adam pulled Shawn to his feet and slung him hard against the wall. Glen pinned Shawn's arms high above his head while Adam yanked his jogging pants down. Kurt stood behind Shawn eyeing his bottom like candy.

"You know Shawn, has anyone ever told you that you have a perfect ass?"

"Let…me…GO!"

"I don't think so," Kurt sang. He unzipped his jeans revealing his hard member. He stroked it a few times before he reached out pulling Shawn's hips toward him.

"No…Kurt please don't do this," Shawn begged but his begging was drowned out by laughter.

"Not doing all that smack talk now are you Shawn?" Glen asked.

Kurt suddenly entered him causing Shawn to scream with pain. Kurt had not prepared him or anything. He just entered him hard and fast, not caring if he was hurting Shawn or not. The blonde couldn't stop crying all the while pleading for Kurt to stop, but Kurt wasn't listening. If anything he would grip Shawn's hips tighter, thrusting harder and harder inside of him. Shawn felt like he was dying on the inside. His body hurt and he felt like he was going to hurl. To make matters worse, his whimpers from the pain were suddenly drowned out by a dick that was suddenly shoved in his mouth.

"Suck it Shawn!" Adam growled. Like he had much of a choice anyway. Shawn did his best to suck Adam considering his head was cocked at a weird angle. All of a sudden Adam grabbed his hair pulling it hard. Shawn tried to scream but the sound was muffled by Adam's cock.

"Oh fuck yes…" Adam moaned. Kurt suddenly turned Shawn around and Adam grabbed Shawn's head, forcing him to suck faster. Meanwhile, Kurt finally managed to cum all over him. He zipped up his pants and just stood by and watched as Glen forced Shawn to the ground so that he could cum all over him too.

"Oh…God Shawn…I'm going to…" Adam shoved his dick as far back into Shawn's mouth as he could and released. Shawn coughed and hacked, spitting up Adam's cum. Adam suddenly shoved Shawn away from him and just laughed.

"JBL hit gold when he bought you. You're the perfect little bitch whore," Adam laughed. Shawn just raised his head and glared at Adam, tears steadily streaming down his face. He was humiliated and he was hurting but what could he do about it. Kurt and the others just stood there laughing at him some more before they headed back to the table. They left Shawn in the middle of the floor, half naked and bleeding from Kurt's assault. Shawn somehow managed to pull his pants back up but he was hurting so bad that the pain kept him in the floor. Shawn curled himself into a ball and just cried. Minutes later the door opened up and in walked JBL. He seemed highly pissed off about something but that wasn't nothing new. He stopped suddenly when he spotted Shawn lying in the middle of the floor, curled into a ball. He raised an eyebrow half wondering what had happened until he noticed the smell. His eyes immediately rounded on the guys sitting at the table and he just glared.

"John! Where have you been all this time?" Adam asked.

"Yeah man. We got bored and…"

"Shut the hell up Glen. Now answer me this gentlemen. Can one of you has beens explain to me why my employee is lying in the middle of the floor like that? I would have guessed that it was your idea of fun except I get the feeling you guys failed to comprehend my warning." Adam and Glen cast each other nervous looks before Kurt finally spoke up.

"John, since when have you ever meant what you say? You tell us not to do stuff all the time but when we do it anyway, you always get a good laugh out of it." True. Very true and yet JBL couldn't help but feel a jealous rage coming on. He quickly crossed the room and kneeled down in front of the blonde. Shawn's eyes were beat red and he was still crying.

"Shawn? Shawn get up now. It's time to get home." Shawn slowly turned his head to stare at John and when he did, John was hit with a feeling of…remorse maybe? He wasn't sure. The only thing he was sure of was that he hated the way Shawn was looking at him. Like an infectious disease that wasn't fit to be around him. Shawn slowly sat up off the floor but when he tried to stand to his feet, pain shot through his lower back forcing him back to the floor. JBL's eyes rounded on the men at the table again and if looks could kill, they would be dead by now.

JBL reached out to touch Shawn but he drew back angrily. He cast JBL the dirtiest look he could muster but John ignored him. He grab Shawn's arm throwing it around his neck and he scooped Shawn into his arms so that he could carry him. Shawn buried his face in John's chest, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes. A warm feeling came over JBL but he brushed it aside, letting his anger consume him all over again. As he walked past his friends with his employee in his arms, he stopped momentary, letting his soft spoken words fill the awkward silence in the room.

"Gentlemen, if you ever put your hands on him again, I swear to God I'll kill you myself." That was all he said before carrying Shawn out of the bar for the night.

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**AN: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review if you want. I appreciate the love, the hate, and the down right silly fangirlism! Also, I am sorry that the chapter was so long. Been working on it for days and I really wanted to split it in half, but as you can see, I really couldn't do that. One last thing, I am making a new ShawnCena video. Woot! Woot! You know they had it coming after this past Monday night's match. Oh so HOT! You want the link when I'm done with it, let me know and I'll be glad to send it to you. A Mike Adamle fic will be written at some point. (Yes, I am still on that kick.) Review! It is currently 5am and I need sleep so buh bie!****  
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(1) This number in parenthesis that you saw earlier in the chapter was put there because part of Chris Jericho's speech is actually a quote from _**Neil Gaiman**_, who happens to be an American novelist, journalist, and screenwriter. So credit to him for the wonderful quote. I thought it was something our beloved Chris would say.


	11. Silent Struggles

**AN: Sorry for the long delay but I had a moment of panic. Like, I've never been this terrified of finishing a fic than I am right now. Anyway, I finished typing this a long time ago but I just...kindof lost my confidence in writing. Like, I don't have a lot of experience with angsty fics so I spent days in a fit of sadness and confusion. Oh well. Anyway, I called upon some nice people to beta for me. Some of them have not finished betaing this chapter but since I have like 4 betas, I decided to go ahead and post the chpater anyway since two of them gave it the ok. There's not a lot of action in this chapter but after the last chapter, I really don't think much action is needed. Expect Shawn to change...a lot.**

Beta Readers: **tehMickster,** **1smartblonde, Kuro Ookami Hatake **

Future Betas: **heymegalomaniac,** **Kuro Ookami Hatake**

Special Thanks: To _Mickie_ (tehMickster) for revising this and giving me the boost I needed to get it right. To **Priince** - You gave me lots of great ideas and crucial feedback. It's been a big help!

_"Healing yourself is connected with healing others."_----- **Yoko Ono**

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**The ride back to the hotel was intense. Shawn did not say a word the entire ride back and neither did JBL. What could he say? The damage had already been done and as much as he hated to admit it, it was more or less his fault…sort of. Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if he decided to speak words of comfort or words of hate. He was fairly certain that Shawn would still hate him so he chose to act somewhat unconcerned. Unconcerned and then just a bit concerned. It was no secret that Shawn had been badly hurt but just how much, he didn't know. He knew that he probably should have taken Shawn to the hospital but what would he say to the doctors? No one would believe that Shawn was raped even if he was a beautiful man. They'd want to know the circumstances that led to the raping which would mean trouble for them both. _It would humiliate him and it would put me in a bad position._ JBL just hoped Shawn was alright.

The limo came to stop in front of their hotel and JBL got out first. Shawn had been leaning next to the other door staring out the window so John figured it would be easier for him to come out on the other side. Shawn didn't even move when his door first opened. He just sat there staring off into space as if he were unaware of what was going on. JBL leaned into the car and almost instinctively, Shawn's arms wrapped themselves around his neck so that he could be carried back into the hotel.

Since JBL was of high importance, no one dared ask him why he was carrying a grown man in his arms. In fact, most of the hotel workers either pretended not to notice or offered their services to him. JBL ordered a hot bath to be drawn for Shawn and asked that a certain nurse meet him in the room in thirty minutes. JBL carried Shawn all the way back to their room and sat him on the bed.

Meanwhile, a few hotel workers were seeing to his bath while others were fixing the bedding and wheeling in trays of fruit and beverages. When everything was ready, JBL tipped them all before closing the door behind them. He let out a huge breath as he stood with his back against the door, his eyes on his employee. Shawn was still just sitting on the edge of the bed staring down at the floor. JBL wondered whether or not he should even bother trying to move him but then again, so far, Shawn had been pretty cooperative. JBL rid himself of his coat and hat tossing it to the side then slowly made his way towards Shawn. He stood over him for a second half wondering if he should say anything at all but in the end, he decided to just do what he felt. He reached for Shawn who in turn, immediately wrapped his arms around John letting him carry him to the restroom.

The hotel workers had drawn Shawn a huge bubble bath in the garden tub and had used medicated oils that had the room smelling fresh. From this point on, everything was awkward for John, especially since Shawn seemed unaffected. Because it hurt Shawn to stand on his feet, John ended up having to help the man undress. It wasn't as if John had never seen Shawn half naked before but for some strange reason, he felt embarrassed by it now.

He held Shawn in place as the smaller man lifted his shirt over his head tossing it to the floor. Then without warning, Shawn immediately rid himself of his bottoms causing the Texas Longhorn to blush a little. There were noticeable blood stains on his legs which pretty much confirmed JBL's earlier thoughts about the raping. Whichever person (more than likely Adam or Kurt) raped him, they wanted to make sure he'd never forget it. Shawn hobbled towards the bath tub but just as quickly, a sharp pain rushed through his lower back causing his knees to buckle. He cried out as he fell forward. Expecting to hit the comfort of the floor, he was quite surprised to find himself in the arms of JBL. For a moment neither of them moved; both feeling the discomfort of the entire situation. Shawn's eyes slowly lifted meeting those of JBL's and for an instant, he could not breathe. JBL quickly broke the stare down by suddenly lifting Shawn off the floor and into the hot bath. Shawn showed no signs of emotion as he hit the water. He just sat there not even bothering to reach for the sponge to clean himself. His face was pale and he looked completely out of it. He slouched over in the water staring blankly at the bubbles like he hadn't a care in the world.

"Shawn?" JBL called out to him softly but the blonde didn't respond. John ran a hand through his hair as he fought with himself on what to do next. He could leave Shawn in the restroom all alone but in his state, John wasn't sure if that was a good idea. _Not that Shawn would drown himself but… _John glanced over at the blonde again but nothing had changed. He was still only just sitting there like a ghost who dared not move. Never in his life had JBL experienced anything like this. He'd never had to deal with someone who had just been raped, let alone a companion or colleague so he had no idea what to do.

Then again, John never really cared about anything other than his job or money so this was really an experience for him. _Not that I care about Shawn, but I need him to snap out of it. He has a job to do Monday night but if he's like this then I'm screwed. Ahhh what to do?!?!_ John's thoughts about next week clouded his mind until a soft whimper drew him back to the problem at hand. He turned around to see Shawn's face buried in his hands. He was crying and it stung John like a knife to the heart. John found himself approaching the tub. He reached out to touch the weeping blonde but Shawn jerked away from him violently.

"Shawn? Shawn don't…" But the look he received was about as bad as the crying. Shawn's eyes were red and puffy from all of his crying plus the disgusted look on his face was enough to make any man want to run and hide. Not to be easily intimidated, John grabbed his shoulder jerking him around. John opened his mouth to yell at him but no words would come out. He'd already just barely planned out his speech. _I didn't do this to you Shawn… Get over yourself Shawn… I know you hate me Shawn… _The words played over and over in his head but he just couldn't bring himself to make the excuse. He had no idea what made him do it but he did.

Reaching over the angry blonde, he pulled the bath sponge off of the hook. John moved to sit on the edge of the tub behind Shawn and began lathering the sponge with his favorite evergreen body wash. There was only the sound of his and Shawn's breathing as he washed Shawn's back. The warm water and the unexpected sigh of approval seemed to make John feel a little bit better. He continued to wash Shawn's back, loving the way the blonde seemed to lean into the sponge. John's squeezed the sponge around Shawn's neck watching intensely as the water draped over his shoulder and down his chest area. For a brief moment, John envisioned himself licking it off but he brushed the thought just as quickly.

He reached for the small bottle of shampoo pouring a small amount into his hand. He lathered up then proceeded to run his hands through the blonde's thin hair. He lathered all around the edges then around his neck area, being sure to lather every inch of the blonde's hair. His rough, manly fingers drew soft moans from Shawn as they massaged his aching scalp which frightened the hell out of John. _Enough of this!_ He removed his hands from Shawn's scalp. Reaching for the sponge, he wet it and began rinsing Shawn's hair until all the lather was gone. Dropping the sponge back into the water, JBL rose to his feet and headed towards the door.

"I'll come and get you in a few," he grumbled. He quickly shut the door relief quickly washing over him. Never had he been so nervous in his life. He didn't have much time to dwell on it though. His front door suddenly opened and in walked a tall, skinny blonde who looked as though she were in her early 40s. Her hair was long and straight, framing a stern looking face adorned with piercing green eyes. She was wearing a pair of white cargos and a blue nurse's shirt and in her left hand she held a small briefcase.

"Meredith. Thank God!"

"John. Are you okay? Sorry I'm late but traffic was a killer."

"It's alright. Uh…he's in the restroom taking a bath but you can go on in."

"What happened John?" John let out a huge breath before explaining the events of the evening to Meredith. Since she was his sister and somewhat trustworthy, he left nothing out. After he finished explaining Meredith broke the uncomfortable silence.

"You shouldn't have left him alone John. I don't know all of your friends but I've heard things. If you're going to actually _keep_ any of your boyfriends then you should at least pretend to care."

"Look sis, it's not like that. Shawn and I…"

"So you _don't_ really care about him?"

"Well…" he winced.

"God John you are so thick! When are you going to learn that you can't go through life not caring about people? If you keep this up…"

"Meredith, I don't need a lecture right now alright? Besides, you're one to talk. You're just as alone as I am sweetheart." Meredith cast him a death glare before brushing past him for the restroom.

"At least I tried. My marriage may have failed John but at least I had the chance to experience something as wonderful as love and companionship. Can you say the same big bro?" She slammed the door in his face leaving him rigid with anger outside the door.

Minutes later Meredith emerged from the restroom. She gently pulled the door shut and sighed.

"Well?" John asked. He was sitting on the bed in his boxers staring at his sister.

"He'll be alright…maybe." She said quietly, moving over closer to the bed to talk to her brother.

"What do you mean maybe?"

"Well his body's going to be sore for a few days but I can assure you he'll be able to wrestle Monday night." John let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.

"That's good to know."

"Yeah I bet. Anyway, as for his emotional state, I can't be sure. Just…try not to be so rough with him John. Shawn's in complete shock right now and who knows when it will wear off. Even if he wakes up tomorrow morning and says he's fine, truth is John he'll never really be fine. This isn't something that a person just gets over. He was hurt in the worse possible way for a human being and for that, my heart goes out to him. I gave him some medicine that's going to knock him out. He needs to sleep otherwise he'll drive himself mad with worry."

"Oh alright. Anything else?"

"No. I left a small bottle of pills by the sink. He should take them twice a day for the next few days or so. Call me if he seems to be getting worse. Some people are strong and pull through trauma like this quickly while others aren't so lucky. If you be there for him, I'm sure he'll pull through sooner or later."

"Meredith, I can't attach myself to him like that. He's just…"

"Well then it seems you have a problem. I gotta go. Get to bed before you drive yourself insane too. I can't have my only brother turning into a nutter." She kissed his cheek then left.

"Great. Just great," he muttered. John crossed the room to ready the bed for the night. He hadn't really thought about it before but now he was feeling it. It had been a long day and his body was now screaming for relaxation. Once the bed was to his liking, he dimmed the lights. The door of the restroom opened up and out walked Shawn. He was wearing some loose fitting pajama pants with a matching silk shirt. He slowly hobbled towards the bed wincing every few steps from the pain. John waited until Shawn was completely settled in before he killed the lights. He climbed into bed next to Shawn but made sure to leave him lots of space. After earlier, John was certain Shawn had no desire to be touched at all and he didn't want to start a fight.

JBL closed his eyes and was just starting to doze off when something unexpected happened. Shawn draped an arm around John's torso and buried his face in the soft flesh of JBL's side. The gesture startled the hell out of John and he was half a mind to shove him away but… He glanced down at Shawn and placed a hand on his head. _He looks so at ease right now… A big improvement since earlier… _The blonde jerked from the touch but he soon began to relax again when he felt John's fingers combing through his hair. John kept this up until Shawn fell fast asleep.

Meanwhile John lay awake because he had too much on his mind. All of the events of the evening were swirling around in his head including both confrontations with John Cena and Chris Jericho.

"_Property? What the hell…? Shawn's not your damn property. He's a fucking human being with feelings. You can't just toss him around like he's a punching bag!"_

"_My point is that I love Shawn and so does Cena. Shawn showed the slightest bit of care or concern for us one day and now we're lovesick puppies. But in order for you to even begin understanding why we're so upset you'd have to __**know**__ love. You'd have to have had your heart ripped to shreds to understand why we're so jealous of you right now." _

JBL closed his eyes blocking the thoughts from his head. He had bigger things to worry about right now than Jericho and Cena; like Shawn's behavior in the future. _Si je sais ce qu'est l'amour, c'est à cause de vous… There's just no way. It's too soon. Yeah. Too soon._ He wasn't going to let Chris and the others fool him because he be damned if false feelings of sentiment were going to ruin him. Those were John's last thoughts before he finally managed to get to sleep.

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**AN: I'm working on a video and the next chapter. Will have it up as soon as I can. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	12. Recollections

**Beta Readers:** **heymegalomaniac,** **Kuro Ookami Hatake**

AN: My betas have not finished reading this chapter but when they finish, I plan to change anything that they deem is crucial. But I wanted to go ahead and post now so that I can possibly get another chapter to you by Wednesday night give or take. The whole clip of Shawn and Mark alone in the locker room at the Rumble did it for me. If you guys did not see the segment then you missed out. I squealed like a 5 year old fangirl. It was the hottest stare down since.....yeah. Anyway, not a lot going on in this chapter but I feel it's important as it mostly pertains to our dear old confused JBL. And so it continues...

_"Seduce my mind and you can have my body, Find my soul and I'm yours forever."_ **--- by Anonymous ~ **

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Shawn woke up the next morning to the sound of running water. His eyes fluttered open and when they finally adjusted to the light, he realized that he was alone. Frightened, he tried to sit up but a sharp pain shot to his head and he winced, falling back against the pillow.

"Shawn, don't try to get up so quickly. You're still going to be in pain for a few more days." _Pain…_ Shawn closed his eyes and immediately images from last night sped through his thoughts like a current. He could see them all. Kurt, Adam, Glen…and then JBL. _I can't… I don't wanna think about this…_ Shawn slowly sat up in bed propping himself on his elbows. There was a tiny elderly lady with white hair standing at the end of the bed.

"Who are you?" he managed in barely a whisper.

"I'm just a worker here. Your bath is ready and as soon as you're done just call the front desk and your lunch will be brought up to you. John said he was going to the gym to work out so if you need anything, we'll be happy to take care of it for you." She bowed politely before turning and editing the room leaving Shawn all alone.

"Great. Just great," Shawn mumbled. He fell back against the warm pillow and turned to his side. It was weird waking up alone but then again, he supposed it would have been just as strange waking up to a man who probably could care less if you existed or not. Shawn rolled over on his stomach, smiling as he inhaled the familiar scent. It was John's cologne and whatever it was it smelled sweet and all too familiar to him. Shawn made a mental note to sneak a peek in John's bag later to get a look at the bottle. In the meantime, he knew he needed to get up. He was pretty sure that John was going to be ready to go whenever he got back from working out. Shawn managed to roll out of bed and onto his feet. He walked a few steps, half surprised that he wasn't too sore anymore but his head still hurt like hell. He quickly rid himself of his boxers and stepped into the steaming hot bath. Perfect. The hot water engulfed his body calming his semi-sore muscles from all of his wrestling. He closed his eyes but instead of happy thoughts, flashes from the night before hit him hard. He could see Adam laughing down at him maniacally as Kurt pounded into him. He could feel Kurt's hands all over again as they crushed his sides, his stubby nails digging hard into his flesh. Shawn's eyes darted open and that's when he realized that he was shaking all over. _What's wrong with me?_ Shawn folded his arms across his chest trying his best to calm his nerves but he couldn't. Instead, the images got worse and worse and his body began shaking uncontrollably. He closed his eyes listening to the sound of the laughter. He could even smell the hard liquor on Glen's breath as he laughed in his face.

"No…please…" Shawn cried. He rocked himself back and forth, weeping softly until he finally managed to calm himself down. He opened his eyes and just sat their quietly. For the first time in his life, he truly wished that John was there. He would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn't happy to see John the other night. His heart skipped a beat when he saw John's face enter the room. Of course there was no guarantee that John was going to help him. In fact, it was actually John's fault that any of this happened to begin with. If John had not left him alone with those creeps then… _No, that's not fair to him. He told them not to touch me…_ Shawn leaned back into the water, a tiny smile creeping up on his face. Despite how John may really feel about him, Shawn couldn't deny the fact that John told them to keep their hands to themselves. Maybe it was because he was possessive of things he owned but whatever the case, Shawn couldn't have been happier. When John scooped him into his arms, he couldn't have felt safer than he did at that moment. I hope he returns soon Shawn thought as he continued to wash himself. With JBL being gone, he felt lonelier than ever before.

x-x-x

John Bradshaw Layfield sat with his back against the wall, eyes closed, listening to his I-Pod. He had a time easing out of bed earlier without waking Shawn and half wondered why he even cared. Shawn was a sound sleeper but John doubted he slept so soundly all the time. In fact, he was certain that before last night, Shawn hadn't slept through the night in a long time. Of course, it wasn't until John started combing through Shawn's silky locks that Shawn even managed to get to sleep anyway. He whimpered and moaned a lot trying to get comfortable until he rolled into John's side of the bed. It startled the Texan at first, but he couldn't deny the warm feeling that overcame him when he felt Shawn's warm face on his side or the soft arm resting across his torso. He wanted to push him away but there something about the natural feeling of it all that made him give in. It was as if Shawn belonged in his bed near him. _That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!_ John cursed himself silently as he brushed Shawn from his mind. _An employee…that's all he is. _The thought seemed to please him until an image that he'd buried a long time ago suddenly surfaced in his brain. JBL groaned as he banged his head against the wall.

Of all the times to be thinking of her, it had to be now. _Rene._ Rene almost ruined his life and he hated her so much that it hurt. _I hate her yet I don't._ He chuckled to himself as he recalled his last meeting with his ex-girlfriend and what a meeting it had been. Rene was a tall, sexy brunette that could put some of Vince's current Divas to shame. She was perfect. 5'4, with long skinny legs and breasts to die for; she was every man's dream. He could recall a time when they were eating at a restaurant. She'd gotten up to go greet a friend who was eating at a nearby table and he wondered to himself how he had managed to get so lucky. But all that would soon change after he heard a nasty rumor; a rumor that turned out to be nothing more than what it was and yet it ruined their relationship for good. He could still remember the conversation like it was yesterday. They were in the living room of his beautiful ranch home arguing like cats and dogs. His corporate friends had been teasing him about Rene and her cheating so he immediately confronted her about it when he got home from a WWE tour they'd done in France.

"I…I never thought you'd love me like that John. You…you never tell me you love me and all you do is buy things for me! I don't need material things! I just need to know that you care!"

"But I do care for you Rene! How can you not…?"

"YOU CAN'T HAVE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE IF YOU NEVER LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!"

"BUT I DON'T…?"

"GOD JOHN! IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND ME AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME? So what you bought me a diamond necklace!? That means nothing to me John! I…I love you and I want to marry you and have your babies but…"

"Apparently not if you're sleeping with…"

"I never slept with him John and you know what? I probably should have. You don't love me. You just think you do. I'm just a rebound right? A rebound from your ex lover…that guy…what's his name? Oh yeah. Ron."

"How…how'd you…?" His face turned white as a ghost. _Just how the hell did she find out about him?_

"I'm a woman John. We know these things. I knew before we started dating that you were into guys, but I knew of you and wanted to prove people wrong. People said you were a horrible person. That you would buy them with your cash flow and then hang them out to dry when you were done with them, but I wanted to prove them wrong. Looks like I failed. You don't love me John."

"I DO love you Rene! God…how could you even think that!?"

"Then marry me." John just stared down at her in disbelief.

"Wha…Marry you?"

"Yes John. Marry me. I'm asking you to marry me so that we can be together forever." She moved closer to him and grabbed his hands kissing the back of them. "I love you so much John. Yes, while you were away, I went out with a few of the corporate guys but I can assure you it was all business. One of your good friends, Daniel, he tried to get me to come inside his apartment after dinner one night. I didn't go. I could have but I didn't because I'm not interested in Daniel. I want you John. You and only you. I just…I need more from you ya know? I'm not…we're both not getting any younger John and right now, I have everything I need to settle down. I have a good job, money saved up and a man I love very much. Just…tell me you feel the same John." She looked up into his eyes waiting for the right answer but John couldn't. He just couldn't give it to her.

"Rene…Rene I…I do love you. I love you very much but I just don't think we should get married right now." Nothing could have prepared him for the hurt in her eyes. She backed away slowly shaking her head.

"Then I'm sorry John. I love you but I'm ready for a _real _relationship. A few years ago, I would have been willing to wait for you but I can't anymore. We've had this 'friends with benefits' type relationship for almost a year but I see that it's never going to change and why should it? I knew coming into this relationship that you loved someone else. I just didn't realize he had such a hold on you."

"I…I don't…Rene please…," he pleaded but she shook her head.

"No John. I know what my feelings are and what I want to do with my life but do you?" John's silence was all she needed to help her walk out that door and she did just that leaving John behind. He could still hear the ringing silence after she left. All he could do was stand there staring at the floor as her words rang loudly in his ears. Did he love her the way he said he did? To this day he never figured that one out but one thing was for certain, she had been right about Ron.

"John! Wake your ass up!" John's eyes darted open when he felt someone smack the side of his head. He looked up to see Randy, Dave and Mark standing over him. Randy seemed pretty amused about something while Mark and Dave clearly did not share said amusement. John took off his hat and I-Pod placing it next to him on the bench. He looked up at the fellows and smirked.

"What can I do for you gentlemen today? Oh and Randy, smack me again and I'll beat the hell out of you."

"Now, now John. No need to get all hostile with us," Randy smirked. "We were just about to start working out but we thought we'd make sure you weren't dead. We've been in here for about an hour but you've been sleeping this whole time. My guess is that you had a rough night."

"Because I took a short nap, you're assuming that I had a rough night? Since when is it a crime to take a nap?"

"Fine. I was just…never mind." Randy pretended to look around the gym before his eyes rounded on John again. "So uh…where's Shawn?"

"Probably eating lunch right about now but what's it to you?" John asked. Judging from the look on Randy's face, he was sure Randy was trying to be funny.

"Oh well, I was just asking. Shawn and I aren't as close as we used to be but I still care about him. I mean, after what happened last night," he laughed, "I figured he'd be laid out in a hospital bed somewhere." Both Mark and Dave frowned at the same time. Before they could actually say anything, John was on his feet glaring at Randy.

"What the hell are you talking about boy?" John seethed. He was now starting to worry a little bit. He was with Shawn most of the night but he was certain Randy had not been in that bar. Cena and Chris were the only other superstars there but they all left before Kurt could get his hands on him. Randy took a few steps back before shrugging.

"Well John I uh…I hate to tell you this but Adam's my new boyfriend now." John's face suddenly drained of all color which made Mark and Dave even more suspicious.

"Randy? Randy what the hell are you going on about?" Dave asked. When Randy chose not to respond, Mark pushed Dave out of the way and grabbed Randy by the shirt jacking him up against the wall.

"Hey…Mark…come on…man…"

"What the FUCK do you know that we don't? And dammit Randy you better tell the truth or I swear to God I'll fuck you up right here and now!"

"Okay…okay…but…why don't you ask his boyfriend? I'm…I wasn't there but John was there. He let it happen!" Randy sputtered. Mark put Randy down and cut John one of the most dangerous looks he could muster.

"John, what's he talking 'bout?" he asked calmly. John was scared shitless right now and judging from Mark's face, he half wondered if a lie would be better. Plus, he was all alone now so trying to fight his way out of this would be hopeless. So, with a sigh, he looked up at Mark and told the truth.

"Shawn was…raped last night," he said softly. John had barely gotten the words out when Mark was all over him. He tackled John to the floor and began tearing into him with rights. Mark managed to get three good punches in before Dave and Randy pulled him off of John.

"LET ME GO! HE HASN'T BEEN HIT ENOUGH!" Mark growled.

"No, wait Mark. We don't know the whole story yet," Dave said.

"Yeah well I don't care!" Mark spat. "Fuck John, if Shawn's your new boyfriend how the hell could something like this have happened? Where the hell were you when…?"

"Adam said John and Shawn had a fight. He left Shawn with him, Glen and Kurt then…"

"Wait. Whoa. Wait a second. My brother…? Who exactly raped him?" Mark asked. All of this was starting to make his head spin and if it wasn't for Dave holding him up, he probably would have fell to his knees. _Glen…he wouldn't…_

"I left him alone with Glen, Adam, and Kurt…but I'm not sure…Shawn hasn't spoken a word since we left the bar last night."

"You SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Mark yelled. "I should rip you apart right now!" he seethed, but Dave continued to hold onto him.

"Calm down Mark! We don't know the whole story. Hey John, what exactly happened?"

"I don't…really know. I just….Shawn and I had a fight and I left him alone to cool off. When I got back he was…but what's it to you guys anyway?" he snapped. "Randy you're dating Adam so why are you pretending to be so fucking concerned? Adam's no fucking saint either because I'd be willing to bet that he had something to do with it as well. If anything I'M the one who should be asking YOU questions!" Both Dave and Mark cut Randy knowing looks before the younger man broke his silence.

"Look, all I know is what Adam told me. He just said that Shawn was forced into sex by the guys. He came in last night joking about it but this morning…Adam didn't sleep too well last night and I think it's because of what happened to Shawn."

"You know Randy, you're 'bout as naïve as they come. I've known Adam for a short period of time, but I've known him a helluva lot longer than you. I can assure you that he got something out of the deal as well but enough of about this. I don't have to answer to any of you guys because Shawn's MY boyfriend and MY responsibility. Stay out of our business," he warned. John pushed his way past Dave and the others but Mark grabbed his shoulder forcing him around.

"John," Mark breathed. "I swear to God…"

"You'll what? Kick my ass about Shawn? Go ahead and try it," John laughed. "If anything, you're only causing Shawn more pain. You hurt me and I'll hurt him. You try and take him from me then he'll be in even more trouble than you can possibly imagine."

"Is that a threat?" Mark asked.

"It's a promise," he answered before walking out of the gym, leaving three very confused men behind.

x-x-x

_"What the heart gives away is never gone ... It is kept in the hearts of others."_ **~ by Robin St. John ~ **

When John got back to the hotel, he hesitated at the door. It was still pretty early in the afternoon and he had not planned on returning to the hotel room any time soon. He needed some time away from Shawn so that he could think but his plans had been ruined just like that. Sure he could have stayed at the gym but he knew there was no way Mark and the others would have let him relax in peace. They would have just kept on making comments and remarks until a big fight would have broken out and John just wasn't in the mood to fight. Besides, no one knew the real reason behind their relationship and he made a promise to Shawn that he wouldn't tell. It was, after all, the least he could do after last night. _I can't just stand out here all day but how can I face him like this?_

John leaned back against the door cursing silently. Never in his life had he felt this conflicted over anything. Sure he'd had his share of confusing business deals but this one topped them all. For some reason, Shawn was starting to affect him like a drug and he hated it. That was part of the reason why he went to the gym in the first place. It had been a feeble attempt to sort out his feelings about the entire situation. Why exactly was it getting harder and harder to treat Shawn like a regular old employee? What exactly was the warm feeling that came over him when Shawn was nestled in his arms? Why did he feel like shit just now when Mark questioned him about leaving Shawn alone? And why were Chris' words still plaguing his mind? All of these questions were starting to make the Texan feel very much unlike himself and he hated it. _I have to get myself together. I need to take control of the situation and I need to do it now._ John took a few deep breaths and opened the door. Shawn was fully dressed in some blue jeans and his brown, flaming HBK tee shirt. He had jumped when the door opened but he didn't say anything. He just rolled back over on his side and continued to stare out the window with that same lost expression on his face from last night. John opened his mouth to say something but closed it just as quickly. What could he say? Another thing that John still wasn't quite accustomed to was coming home to someone. Though Shawn was just an employee it still felt all too new and unreal to him, but that was to be expected for someone who got used to being alone all the time.

John hurried to the restroom to take a quick shower. He changed into some fresh jogging pants and a white tee to lounge around in. When he emerged from the restroom, he noticed that Shawn was watching him with a slight frown on his face. John's first instinct was to question him about his frown but he decided against it. He was through bickering for the day and unless Shawn pressed for an argument, he was going to ignore him as much as possible.

John crossed the room taking a seat on the couch instead of the bed. He flipped the television on to some western movie and closed his eyes in hopes of drifting off to sleep again. It wasn't long before he heard the creaking of the bed springs and the movement of soft footsteps approaching him. He ignored the approaching footsteps half hoping that Shawn was just getting up to get some water or something but he was wrong. Shawn sat down on the carpet in front of the couch right between his legs and leaned back against him. John's eyes darted open and all he could do was just stare at the man. The smart part of his brain told him to kick Shawn away but he couldn't. He just couldn't do it and the sad part about it was that he almost welcomed it. _What the hell am I thinking? Starting tomorrow, things will go back to normal. I refuse to get soft. That is a promise…_


	13. Cause & Effect of Rumors

AN: Wow. Just wow. This is a long chapter - one of the longest I've ever written for any story. The reason it's so long is because there was no way I could break it up without interrupting the flow of the thoughts. I didn't want to do that so you have quite a bit of reading to do. I think I can end this soon. A couple of more chapters but I might wait around and see what happens at N.W.O before I make the ending absolute. I had the perfect ending planned and now I think I'm going to modify it - but only a little. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I had a time writing it. I had to make something just right or it wasn't going to work for me. For all you JBL lovers, well...you'll see. I tell people that I despise certain wrestlers and that I'd never write about them but here I am...writing about JBL...and I hated him...until now. Sheesh. I'm such a hipocrit. Anyway, you guys keep in mind that Shawn's still not quite himself. Also, Shawn's got many 'boyfriends' whether he knows it or not so people like Mark and Chris still have this overwhelming desire to protect him. Well. That's all I think. You should be able to understand whats happening and if not feel free to question me. This chapter hasn't been beta'd so if there are spelling errors, I'll change them later. And so we continue...

* * *

_"Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives."_~~~**Bertrand Russell**

**---  
**

No one was in the mood to work out anymore and as soon as JBL left the gym, the others left as well. Dave and Randy were hungry and decided to grab lunch somewhere. They invited Mark to come along but he wasn't in the mood to lunch. Instead, he headed back to his hotel to find a certain brother of his. He headed inside the _Ramada Inn_ and rode an elevator to the third floor. His brother was supposedly staying in the first room on the right so he headed to the door and banged loudly. A few seconds later, the door burst open and a surprised Glen stood in his path.

"Mark? What the hell man?" Mark pushed his way inside the room slamming the door behind him. He turned to Glen and just shoved him back against the door. He was on top of Glen in the next instant, his hand wrapped tightly against his neck. "Mark? Mark come on man? What…what's…?" Mark let out an annoyed tsk as he stared into the eyes of his terrified brother.

"Glen, I heard a bit of disturbing news a while ago at the gym and it's got me so riled up that I had to abandon my morning workout. Now you would think that a quick workout would have helped me get over such terrible news but nope. I could barely think straight let alone lift a dumbbell."

"But…what are you…? I haven't…"

"Oh shush little brother. I'm getting there. Anyway," he continued as he tightened his grip around his brother's neck, "I uh…don't really know what to do with myself right now and so you're going to be the victim of my rage. I could have taken it out on Randy since he was, after all, the bearer of such news but when your name was brought up it changed my whole perspective on things. You have any idea what I'm talking about little brother?" he asked softly.

"I…no. I don't," he gasped.

"Ah well let's see. How does bar, Adam, Kurt, and Shawn sound? Huh? Do those names ring a bell?" Glen's face turned white as a ghost which only confirmed the rumor in Mark's mind. He kneed his brother hard in the groin making him cry out in pain. Glen leaned forward from the initial shock and Mark grabbed his head leading him away from the door. He tossed his brother onto the floor and then straddled him. He held him by the neck and drew back his fist preparing to hit him.

"Wait….Mark please…"

"I am going to start a fight Glen and it's going to get messy," he growled. "I know you were there but I just KNOW you weren't stupid enough to put your hands on him. Tell me you didn't. TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HURT HIM!" he growled.

"I…I didn't…I never…It was all Kurt and Adam. I just…watched…" Mark punched his brother hard in the face cutting him off.

"BASTARD!" He drew back to hit him again but Glen somehow managed to grip his shoulders pushing him away. Mark swung at him again but he missed which gave Glen the opening he needed. He punched his older brother in the face and then rushed at him, tackling him to the ground. They ended up knocking over the night stand as well as the clock and vase that had been sitting on it. Mark swung blindly at his brother but Glen managed to grab his arms pinning them above his head.

"MARK! MARK STOP IT! FUCK! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING AND…"

"YOU LET HIM GET RAPED!"

"GET A FUCKING HOLD OF YOURSELF! SHAWN'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND AND HE'S NOT MINE! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?! HE BELONGS TO JBL! JBL PRACTICALLY LEFT SHAWN TO BE RAPED! I…I WAS JUST IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME!"

"BULLSHIT! YOU HATE SHAWN! YOU'VE ALWAYS HATED HIM!"

"I DON'T HATE HIM MARK! I'M JUST…I'M JUST JEALOUS OF HIM! I'D NEVER ACTUALLY HURT HIM LIKE THAT! GOD MARK…If…If anything…At the time it…I don't know man…I…" Glen's voice trailed off and he lowered his head. That was a mistake on his part. When he let his guard down again, Mark punched him as hard as he could in the face, this time cutting his lip and drawing blood. Glen fell back against the carpet and Mark topped him again. He grabbed Glen and just when he was about to hammer him with punches, he noticed that his brother was crying. He was actually crying and Glen never cried unless he felt really bad about something. The last time he saw Glen cry was when he learned of Eddie's death so he knew Glen was sorry but still… Mark closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

"Glen…man I really want to kick your fucking ass right now. I want to hurt you for what you did…or rather didn't do but I can't so just…just tell me what happened. I need to know and don't fuck around with me either. I can tell when you're lying and if you lie boy I'll…"

"I'm sorry," he sputtered. "I…I'm really sorry."

"Go on…"

"Shawn…John called us up and told us to meet him at the bar. He said he wanted to celebrate. We didn't think he would be bringing Shawn especially since Kurt's always hated the blonde. We were wrong. Shawn came in with John and the mood sort of changed. John said a few things about Rey that pissed Shawn off. They argued and that's when John left Shawn behind. Told us to do whatever we wanted with him but warned us not to touch him."

"Then why'd you do it?" he growled.

"We…John's never really meant what he'd said. He tells us not to do stuff all the time and when we disobey him, he gets a good laugh out of it. We all thought he was being his usual self. I wasn't going to bother Shawn I swear but I knew Adam and Kurt wouldn't be able to resist. Mark…you know how it is when you're with the guys. Its hard man…I didn't…"

"Please Glen. Not now. Don't give me some high school bullshit excuse. Fuck Adam and fuck Kurt. What did _you_ do to him?"

"I…I only shoved him against the wall. After that, Kurt took over. He…he yanked Shawn's pants down…" At this Mark hissed loudly, scaring his younger brother. Even though Glen was just as big as his older brother, it was still hard not being afraid of Mark especially when he was angry. "I just watched man. That's all I did."

"Glen…"

"No Mark listen. You have no idea how bad I've felt since the incident. I…I came back to the room and threw up all over the place. Shawn's face man…I can't get over that look. He just curled in the floor and…John came and got him…I couldn't even look at him…Mark, God Mark I'm so sorry," he choked. "I just…his face man…" Mark watched as his younger brother started to cry. After hearing such a story and getting those mental images of Shawn a part of him wanted to cry as well but he couldn't. He just couldn't bring himself to cry and if anything, he only felt more anger towards JBL. Just how the hell could he leave Shawn alone with those creeps? Even now as he looked down at his brother, he still wanted to beat the hell out of him. He gave Glen a final once over before he stood to his feet. He walked out of the room slamming the door behind him. He needed to take a walk before he did something he'd regret. He just hoped that a certain Adam or Kurt was far, far away.

x-x-x

Randy and Dave decided to make a stop at a nearby burger joint to grab food to go. Afterwards they headed back to their hotel rooms and went their separate ways. Once Dave got inside his room, he immediately pulled out his cell and called up Chris.

"Hey Chris. It's Dave."

"Dave? What a surprise. What's up man?"

"Oh man…You are going to flip your lid when you hear this. I was going to call Cena but I figured you'd take it better than he would."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Shawn…Shawn was raped last night…"

x-x-x

When Chris got off the phone with Dave, he just sat there on his bed staring at the floor._ I was there last night…I should have… But what could I do? He's not my boyfriend anymore…_ Chris lay back onto the cool sheets of his bed staring at the ceiling. Right now he was so angry and so confused that he really had no idea what to do with himself. He could call Cena and vent to him about it but Cena was still young and naïve. He'd go after John without a second thought which would only cause more problems. Plus, the situation was now beyond strange. According to Dave, John had mentioned something about Shawn being in trouble. _But what kind of trouble? None of this is making any sense!_ Chris closed his eyes and started to think about everything that's happened so far. Everything seemed pretty normal except he was certain Shawn was lying about his relationship with Layfield. Just a few days before they started dating, Shawn was all about being single and then there was Cena. Cena confronted Shawn that day about some promise to be his new boyfriend. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Cena was definitely the better catch so why would Shawn choose Jibble over Cena? _It just doesn't make sense unless… But why would he…_

Chris rolled off of the bed so he could pace the floor. The only possible explanation was money but what Chris still couldn't figure out was why Shawn wouldn't just go to Hunter or Vince? _Shawn. What is it that you are hiding? Why are you so afraid to ask for help? What's so special about Layfield?_ Chris suddenly realized that the only way he could even possibly begin to piece things together was to do a little more research. _And I know just where to start…_ Chris quickly changed into some jeans and a tee shirt, grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

x-x-x

The hours slowly passed and it was now time for the next taping of Smackdown. Hunter was already halfway dressed and since his match was part of the main event, he decided to chill out in the locker rooms and listen to his I-Pod. He stretched out in the middle of the floor and just closed his eyes getting lost in the music. Hunter didn't have long to relax. He soon felt cool hands sliding underneath his shirt which made him grin.

"Jeffrey…"

"Damn it Hunter! I told you not to call me that in public!" Jeff Hardy smacked his boyfriend on the thigh before leaning forward planting his lips with a gentle kiss.

"Mmm…what was that for?" Hunter asked. He snatched out his earphones then grabbed his young daredevil pulling him closer. He planted a gentle kiss on his neck and just breathed in the new scent he loved so much that was Jeff Hardy.

"Because I appreciate you. You're an asshole…and a bit possessive at times but I can't help but think that everything you do is for us ya know?" Hunter stared into the eyes of his lover and noticed that there was a hint of sadness about them.

"Jeff…is there something you want to tell me?" Jeff let out a sigh before rolling off of his lover. He sat with his knees to his chest and just stared at the floor.

"I'm fine but…sometimes I can't help but worry about others ya know?"

"Of course I know. Is it Matt again?"

"No, it's not Matt. Actually I have no idea what's going on with my brother anymore. We rarely talk and I'm sure it all started once I won the belt but let's not get into that."

"Alright. So what's buggin' you? What's got my baby so down in the dumps?"

"Well…" Jeff looked up and surveyed the room but Hunter only laughed.

"Don't worry Jeff. It's just you and me." Jeff relaxed just a little but his posture still showed signs of tension.

"Oh okay. Well not that it's a big secret anymore. I mean, everyone's been whispering about it since I got here an hour ago."

"Whispering about what?"

"Shawn." Hunter stared at his lover in disbelief for a second. It was unlike Jeff to be so concerned about others especially Shawn. Just a month ago, Jeff and Hunter had an off and on relationship because of Shawn. Jeff wasn't convinced that Hunter loved him and thought that Hunter still loved Shawn. It was the truth. Hunter still loved Shawn and always will love him but he also loved Jeff as well. It took forever to get the kid to see that so for him to just all of a sudden be concerned about Shawn struck Hunter as odd.

"Jeff, I know how you feel about Shawn but I'm sure he's fine. He's been taking care of himself and…"

"That's not what I heard."

"Jeff, is this another one of your jealousy tantrums because I'm telling you that I only have eyes for you now. I haven't talked with Shawn in weeks and…"

"No, no, no, no…no…baby. No, I'm not…It's nothing like that," he said quickly. "It's just…I heard some of the guys talking a while ago and they were saying all kinds of mean things about Shawn. It…to be honest with you it really pissed me off. I don't know Shawn as well as you do but I know he's no whore. If he was you wouldn't have loved him so much."

"Wait a sec, a whore?" Hunter asked incredulously. He let out a confused laugh before eyeing his lover quizzically. "They're calling him a _whore_ now?" _Shawn a whore? That's not even…possible!_ Jeff nodded his head.

"Yeah. They uh…said some horrible things about him Hunt and I just…"

"What else did they say?" _It took me forever to get Shawn in bed so I know this is bogus. _

"Well…I heard Adam talking with Chavo, Hawkins, and Ryder. He was telling them about how he fucked Shawn last night in a bar and…" Hunter didn't even wait for Jeff to finish. He stood to his feet and was already half way to the door.

"Wait…Hunter…" But Hunter ignored him storming out of the locker room in a fit of rage. On the way down the hall, he grabbed a steel chair and tossed it against the wall. The chair made a loud sound scaring some of the nearby workers. When they all saw the look on Hunter's face they made a mad dash up the hall and in rooms to get out of his way.

"DAMMIT ADAM! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?!" he screamed. He rounded a corner and instead of bumping into Adam, he ended up face to face with a pissed off Deadman. "Excuse me Mark but I have to take care of something. I'm sorry for bumping into you but I really need to…" Mark pushed Hunter backwards knocking him off balance. Hunter immediately shoved Mark back in retaliation.

"Man what the hell was that for? What the fuck's wrong with you?" Mark stood toe to toe with Hunter, hovering over him angrily.

"It's been a bad day Hunter and honestly you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. All day I've been wanting to beat the hell out of someone and since you're here…"

"Whoa whoa…" Hunter took a few steps back at the towering Deadman and frowned. Mark was fully dressed in his trench coat and hat so his anger was slightly masked by his Undertaker persona. However, Hunter still couldn't help but feel like Mark's anger was slightly off. "Mark, look. I'm not in the mood to fight with you. To be perfectly honest I'm not in the mood to fight anyone right now. I just…Jeff told me a rumor earlier and it pissed me off so much that I was trying to find a release."

"That release being Adam right?"

"Yeah. I uh," he chuckled. "Yeah. That's right. The fucking prick's spreading rumors about someone I care deeply for and I need to set the record straight. Shawn's having a tough time right now. He doesn't need people whispering behind his back about things that aren't true." At this Mark lifted his head so that he could look at Hunter better.

"Rumor about Shawn?" he inquired softly. Mark knew full well what the rumor was but the question was, did Hunter really know? If he didn't know about the rape then Mark wasn't going to be the one to tell him about it; at least not now anyway. Hunter would flip his lid if he knew and would probably be out for blood leaving Jeff all alone.

"Yeah. Uh…you haven't heard?"

"Depends on the rumor," Mark growled. Hunter threw up his hands in defeat.

"Dammit Mark. Kill the Deadman thing for a moment and quit talking in riddles. You either know or you don't know!"

"I mighta heard something but what's it to you? Shouldn't you be worried about Jeff and _his_ problems?"

"Oh don't start that Mark," he scoffed, brushing him off. "You know Jeff and I are fine."

"Yeah. I can see that but I also know that you still love Shawn. If you didn't you wouldn't be out here trying to pick a fight with Adam based on some _rumor_ that you heard."

"I heard it from Jeff…"

"And he heard it from someone else," he finished. "Rumors. It's all a chain of rumors that's only going to make things worse than they already are."

"So then what's your excuse? What are **you** so pissed off about?"

"Shawn," he answered flatly.

"Oh so its okay for _you_ to be angry and act on rumors but when I do it, it's _wrong_? What the hell kind of shit is that Mark?"

"The difference Hunter is that you have a boyfriend now. You have a sweet little daredevil that loves you more than anything in this world right now but you're too stupid to realize that he needs you."

"Don't you dare go there Mark. You _KNOW_ I care for that boy. I love him," Hunter warned. Mark took a few steps closer to Hunter so that he was hovering over him again. His eyes flashed dangerously before he spoke in a soft tone.

"I know you do Hunter but you're making the same mistake with Jeff that you made with Shawn. That boy is hurting right now because of his brother. Before you entered that kid's life, Matt was all he had and now that Matt wants nothing to do with him, that kid's probably all fucked up inside. Shawn was the same way about Bret but you were too stupid to realize it. That's why you two never made it and that's why you never will. You're selfish Hunter. Think about someone else besides yourself for a change!"

"I am!" he huffed.

"No you're not! You're trying to be the hero and for the wrong reasons. My guess is that you still feel guilty about cheating on Shawn with Jeff so whenever you hear Shawn's in trouble, you make it your business to get involved."

"He's my best friend Mark. I'd do anything for him…"

"And I get that but let someone else handle it. Besides, Jeff _needs_ you. He's your boyfriend right now, not Shawn. Be there for Jeff, Hunter. I promise you Shawn will be alright. He's got plenty of people watching his back and if I know JBL, he's on top of things as well." _A lie but it's for his own good. _They were silent for a while until Hunter finally spoke up again.

"Mark…I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry for flaring up at you man and you're right. I do…feel guilty about leaving Shawn. I mean, I didn't leave him per se. We both sort of knew it was ending but Shawn's always been so fragile. He doesn't show it but the tiniest thing can just rip him apart inside and so if something's wrong with him, I can't help but feel responsible," he confessed.

"Hunter it's cool. Don't beat yourself up. Whatever nasty rumor you heard it's probably a load of crap and when I heard you screaming _Adam_, I knew you were overreacting. Come on man. It's Adam. Since when has he _ever_ told the truth about anything?" Hunter let out a sigh as he leaned back against the wall. His face was emotionless but Mark knew better. "Hunter you and I haven't always been real close but we're close enough to know one thing: we both care about Shawn."

"Yeah. You're right." Hunter pushed himself away from the wall and smiled at his older friend. An awkward silence overcame them. "So…"

"So get your ass back to Jeff and I'll go talk to Adam," he urged. "Some of us aren't as privileged as you," he joked. "Two wonderful souls in one lifetime… Hold onto him for as long as you can." There was something about the way Mark said that that made Hunter feel guilty. He smiled weakly at Mark.

"You know Mark, as scary as you are, I'm sure there's someone out there for you though it would probably be easier to catch him or her if you'd just lose the whole creepy, Hell's Guardian thing." Hunter grinned before hurrying off to find Jeff. With Mark on the prowl, he was certain Shawn would be fine.

When Hunter was finally out of view, Mark headed back to find Adam but he ended up bumping into someone. "Oh…Mark…uh…Under…I'm sorry," he stammered. Mark looked down to see freaked out John Morrison standing in front of him. His face was turning all shades of red and he looked plum sick. Mark had never really paid attention to the cocky kid but one couldn't help but notice him now that he was inches in front of him. The Shawn Wannabe was wearing some ridiculously tight red pants that had fur at the bottom of each leg. He had a matching fur coat adorning his perfect abs and if that wasn't enough to piss someone off, there were fake diamonds down the middle of his torso highlighting them. Mark hovered over him to get a good look in eyes. He didn't know why but for some reason he was highly amused by this kid. John's breath hitched a little and his eyes got real big. Mark just smirked before he finally pushed his way past the kid. When Mark reached the end of the hall he glanced back out of curiosity and much to his surprise, John was still there staring after him. Mark shook his head before rounding the corner to look for Adam.

x-x-x

_"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."_~~~**Orson Welles**

Shawn and John had spent all afternoon just watching old movies. Shawn stayed quiet all day and didn't once open his mouth to speak. Even though John felt bad about the raping, he was fairly content with Shawn being silent. Since Shawn wasn't in a talkative mood that meant he wouldn't argue with him, and John was definitely in no mood to argue with someone as stubborn as Shawn. They ended up eating burgers for dinner which turned out to be perfect since Shawn didn't eat right away. Instead he took a long bath and by the time he finally emerged from the restroom in his boxers, John was already done eating and was ready for a bath himself.

Shawn ate alone on the floor while John took a shower. While he was eating, Shawn's thoughts drifted back to earlier that day when he was lying in bed. He recalled the smell of John's cologne again and how it made him feel. This was part of the reason why he didn't want to talk with John. He was afraid he'd say something stupid because truthfully, he was having some conflicting feelings. All day as they watched movies, Shawn was overcome with a warmth that he'd only ever felt around Hunter or Cena. Maybe it was because of the rape that he felt kind of connected with John but whatever it was, he was certain that the person taking a shower wouldn't see it that way. Besides, John was only using him to piss some of the guys off and Shawn needed John to pay off some debts. It was a mutual business relationship that could crumble at any second if Shawn wasn't careful and he didn't want that. He still needed that money and he was going to get it without the help of his friends. _Easier said than done…_

He leaned back on the floor staring up at the ceiling. Immediately thoughts of a drunken Bret, an angry Hunter and a disappointed Chris flashed through his head. There were so many people he let down in his life and it was all his fault. Not really, but that's how he felt. He'd always depended on everyone else to get him out of trouble…well, except for Bret. No, with Bret it was pretty much the opposite. He supposed that's why he loved Bret so much at first.

Suddenly, the door of the restroom clicked open, briefly jarring Shawn from his thoughts. John emerged from the restroom wearing nothing but some silky white boxers. His hair was still damp and stringy as strands of it were sticking to the side of his face, and Shawn could smell the refreshing scent of his body wash from where he was lying. John never once made eye contact with the blonde as he crossed the room to the all too familiar couch. Shawn was lying only a few feet away but he completely ignored him and immediately went to flipping through the channels. Shawn turned away from John and went back to his thoughts. _Bret…_

Bret had been the first person to see Shawn as a strong, confident man and not just some pretty blonde who needed catering to all the time. But things with Bret were slightly one-sided. Although Shawn loved him with all his heart, Bret was only using him. There may have been feelings on Bret's part but they sure as hell weren't strong enough to keep him from gambling all their money away or screwing other guys. _Why didn't I just let him go? I should have just left him and not turned back. If I would have just let him go then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess that I'm in right now…_ Shawn thought this and yet he knew better. He was still fairly young and at the time and Bret could do no wrong in his eyes. Plus, he needed Bret because without Bret he would have been all alone in the world. _I was practically alone then and I'm alone now… _Shawn's eyes welled with tears but he blinked them away. Now was not the time to be crying over spilled milk. He turned his head to glance over at his boss. John seemed to be at ease and Shawn was surprised to see that the swelling had gone down on his face. John's face was calm, but there was still a certain intensity behind his blue eyes. If anything was bothering John, he was doing a perfect job of hiding it. To Shawn, his face showed only signs of confidence and serenity, both of which Shawn seemed to lack.

John knew Shawn was watching him because he could feel his eyes boring into him and it was making him nervous. Never in his life had he been under such close scrutiny and it was starting to creep him out. A part of John wanted to look up at Shawn and meet his gaze; to look into those curious eyes and see why they burned him so but he was too afraid. He didn't know why he was afraid but that didn't matter. He absolutely refused to look at Shawn. He had already managed to subconsciously break many of his rules as a business man and with his confusing feelings stirring about, he didn't want to risk them getting anymore confusing than they already were except…

John threw his head back letting out a small breath. He closed his eyes wondering to himself whether or not he could actually make it another five days without losing his mind. John heard Shawn move and his body just froze. His breathing stopped as he listened to the sound of the blonde's soft steps. They were coming towards him but his body refused to move. _Why is Shawn coming over here? What's he doing? Why won't he stay away?_ He quickly got his answer when he felt a dip in the sofa next to him. He almost breathed a sigh of relief until he felt added weight pressing against his thighs. Shawn had straddled his lap startling the hell out of the nervous Texan.

John slowly lifted his head and his heart stopped from the gaze that bore into him. Beautiful blue eyes rendered him breathless and if that wasn't enough, his long golden hair sticking to the sides of his face made him even more breathtakingly beautiful. John's fear never got a chance to break the trance; a soft hand reached out and cupped the side of his face tenderly. John closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. He was so lost in the warm feeling that he never realized he was being drawn in. He felt a small nip at his lower lip and he gasped at the sensation. Shawn's soft lips enclosed his, capturing them for a slow tender kiss then just as quickly, he tore them away. He leaned into the warmth of John's body and rested his head on his shoulder. He breathed deeply the strong, sweet smell of his boss and just buried his face in John's neck. John sat there for a minute unsure of what to do but after seconds of contemplation he did the only thing that felt natural. He slowly enclosed the blonde in his arms and just held him tightly. They stayed that way, wrapped in each other's arms until they both fell asleep.

**AN: I am currently enrolled in a 400 level creative writing class. My assignment is to write a family memoir so I have no idea how quickly I can update this one anymore. However, if my workload stays fairly the same, I'll have another chapter up before Monday night. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. ALl of the love you have shown for this fic has made me so, so happy. I love working with Shawn since he's my favorite wrestler but his past and his skills make him my star of everything I write. I also want to thank you reviewers for embracing someone like JBL who gets a bad rep because of his TV persona. Well...that's all for now. Review if you want. I love hearing from you all.**


	14. Deliberation

AN: Let me be the first to say to you all that if you live in Georgia or anywhere like it, be careful. I had a sinus infection for a week and I was in PAIN. My gums were sore so it hurt to eat. I felt like I had strep throat so it hurt to swallow. For the first three days, it hurt to lie down so I went without any sleep for three nights in a row. The pain in my head felt like a migraine. I seriously was praying to God that he'd put me out of my misery. But I borrowed some really good sinus medicine from my cousin and today I feel better, much much better. That's why today I sat down and typed this update. I have a ton of stories I need to read and a few I need to BETA so I'll get to them within the next few days so bear with me. Now enough about me... As you know, JBL said all or nothing for N.W.O and the ending of this story will be based on the outcome of that match. That doesn't mean I will follow the storyline to the exact but it will effect my original ending. Let's see...I hope my JBL isn't throwing you too bad but this is how I envision him. He seems to me like he's unhappy all the time (not lately) so I am exploring the root of his unhappiness. And so it continues....

_"The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable."_ **~~ Victor Hugo ~~**

* * *

"Thanks for meeting with me Vince on such short notice."

"It's alright. Have a seat. How did you know I was going to be here tonight?" They were sitting inside Vince McMahon's office on the set of Smackdown. The show wasn't due to start for another couple of hours which was perfect since Chris wanted to leave before some of the guys started to show.

"I called Stephanie and asked her. She was reluctant to help me but I told her it was an emergency."

"Well is it?"

"Uh…well it depends on what you'd call an emergency. I really just need to ask you a few questions about a former employee of yours."

"_Former_ employee?"

"Yeah. I uh…wanted to ask you about Bret."

"**The Hitman** huh? What about him? With all due respect to him and his family, there's only so much I can say about him."

"I…I know and I understand. I really just…" Chris ran a hand through his hair letting out a sigh. "Vince, how would you describe Bret's relationship with Shawn off-screen?" Vince remained deathly silent and for a minute, Chris was sure Vince was going to let him have it but he didn't. Instead, Vince let out a sigh and answered his question.

"They got along for the most part early on in their perspective careers. Bret had his family so he tended to stick with them while Shawn stuck with his own version of a family. Just him and Kevin. Later on Sean, Hunter, and Scott were added to his family. They never really talked unless forced to work together otherwise they went out of their way to avoid one another."

"So there's no way they could have been lovers right?" Chris pressed. Vince McMahon stared at him curiously for a few before answering.

"To the average person – no. There's no way in hell they could ever be lovers. They hated each other so much that it hurt them to be in the same room with one another."

"Shawn and I 'hate' each other," he mocked.

"Yes well you and Shawn—

"Were no different than Shawn and Bret. On screen, they really looked like they could rip each other apart. Shawn and I were the same way Vince. I don't know how or when it happened but one day I realized that I was in love with him. All that hate suddenly turned into passion and realized that I wanted to have him all to myself. I still feel that way Vince. Sure, my character can't stand the very soil he walks on but I can assure you that Chris Irvine loves him very much. That is why I can't believe that Bret never had a thing for Shawn. It's impossible not to love him!"

"Well…that's interesting," Vince chuckled. "I always suspected the two of you but hearing straight from the source brings new light into the matter. Of course you love Shawn. Hell, I may even love him too," he laughed.

"Vince, I'm—

"Just a minute Chris. You never paid attention to my answer. I said to the average person they could never be lovers but I'm not the average person," he added softly. Chris sat up straight in his chair watching his boss with a newfound enlightenment.

"So…so you think they were lovers?" Vince just shrugged.

"All of this is merely speculation Chris—

"Fine fine. So what do you think? What about their past?"

"It became pretty obvious that they were lovers sometime after Bret dropped the belt to Shawn. They would book rooms at the same hotel and they were even pleasant to one another from time to time. I think Kevin noticed it first but none of the guys would question Shawn about it. They were all making money and had hit the big time so what Shawn did in his private life was his business. But whatever the case, I think Bret was good for Shawn."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, I've known Shawn a lot longer than any of you. I know him and love him like he's one of my own children. He was one of my top money makers and he was – still is actually – the best performer on my roster. Naturally, I made sure to watch over him like a good boss. When Shawn first started working for me, I noticed right away that Shawn had self-esteem issues. As good as he was in the ring, he was always down on himself. At one point he started drinking and doing drugs. A lot of that stopped once he won the belt but as soon as Bret left the company, Shawn started back all over again. Just spiraled out of control."

"So you think Bret was the cause of Shawn's down point in life?"

"Maybe but Bret also had his share of problems. I heard from a reliable source that at one time Bret had dealings with the mob."

"The mob?" Chris asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Crazy I know but nobody's perfect Chris. We all have our share of insecurities. I guess whatever led Bret to the mafia was just his way of dealing with his problems."

"Yeah but why the mob? Anyone who's part of the mafia usually has one job and that job is assassin. Would he have had someone killed to…?"

"No, no, no Chris. I've often wondered about it too but Bret wasn't that kind of person. He really was a good guy. He just had his share of problems like anyone else now no more questions. I have some calls to make concerning Wrestlemania and you need to get going before you are seen here."

"Right." Chris started for the door but before he could leave Vince wanted to ask him something.

"Wait a second Chris. Just…out of curiosity, what brought about these questions? Is Shawn alright?" Vince immediately noticed the hesitation which meant something was up with Shawn. Despite Chris's answer he would have to check up on himself anyway.

"Yeah. He's…fine. He got himself a new boyfriend now."

"Oh? Can you tell me who it is?"

"John. John Bradshaw Layfield," he answered lazily before exiting the office. Vince leaned back into his chair stunned. He could not believe that JBL and Shawn were a REAL couple. They worked magic together onscreen but off… Vince frowned at the thought. JBL just didn't seem like Shawn type. In fact, he'd have never in a million years thought Shawn would even consider giving John the time of day, especially when it was so obvious that Cena liked him. _Yeah. I think I want to know what's going on too._

x-x-x

Mark walked around the back for another twenty minutes or so watching for Adam and any of his cronies but they never showed. Mark eventually gave up the hunt for the night but made a mental note to pound the first one he ran into in the future. After Mark competed in his main event match, he headed straight for the showers. When he finished freshening up, he exited the locker room only to find Morrison and his cute little side-kick standing around laughing about something or another. He was going to ignore them completely until he heard one of them mention Adam. Mark ran up behind John giving him a nudge. Miz gasped when he saw Mark and took off down the hall leaving his partner behind. John just stared nervously at the Phenom for it was too late to run away now. Mark looked down at the kid frowning.

"What's this about Adam? Have you seen him?"

"We…Well-

"Hold on a sec. Let me give you a piece of advice kid. I don't like liars so you better think long and hard before you answer," he growled. John's face drained of all color as he started to answer.

"I…I haven't seen him—

"Oh really now?" Mark towered over John forcing him back against the stone wall. The kid raised his hands stammering almost incoherently which amused Mark to no end.

"But...but I know where he's at!"

"Do tell."

"He's…he's at some bar. I don't know the name of it but apparently it's the same one that he…" John lowered his head because he didn't want to meet Mark's gaze. Unfortunately for him, Mark wasn't done with him just yet.

"I take it you know about Shawn too." John looked shaking his head furiously.

"No, I…I only know what Miz told me."

"Which was…?"

"That…that Shawn's being passed around by JBL," he said quietly. Mark noticed the definite change of tone in the kid's voice which only peaked his curiosity even more. Mark reached out and cupped his chin, forcing eye contact.

"What's bothering you kid? Are you afraid of people like Adam and Bradshaw or are you feeling guilty about something?" he pressed. The kid looked too terrified to open his mouth but he answered anyway.

"Both."

"I see." Mark let go of him shaking his head. "I know you aren't the biggest fan of Shawn. I watched you try and beat the hell out of him a few weeks ago but that doesn't give you the right to spread Adam's lies…"

"I wasn't­—

"But you were having a laugh at his expense. Look kid. I know you wanna make it big – get in good with the big guys and I bet Adam's position in the business looks real good right about now. He's worked hard to get where he's at but he's a fucking prick. I know he's your friend and all—

"He's not my friend!" John snapped, cutting Mark off. "Look Mark, I'm…I'm really sorry about…about all of this and you're right. We did try and hurt Shawn a few weeks ago but I never really wanted to. I was just…I'm so used to just doing whatever people tell me to do that—

"Does that mean you were told to beat Shawn?" Mark growled.

"Yeah. Miz wanted us to look like total badasses so he thought we should use Shawn to make a name for ourselves. He uh…said that Shawn was still hurt about Hunter that he probably wouldn't tell Vince on us and—

"Yeah, I've heard about all I care to hear." Mark grabbed John by the next forcing him up against the wall but when he drew back to hit him, he paused. John's eyes were clinched tightly and he was breathing hard and fast, waiting for impact. Mark cursed himself silently before letting go. "You're not even worth it doll. If you can't even stand up for yourself against somebody like Mike then why the hell should I even bother? And just think, two hours ago I found you somewhat interesting but now…" Mark shook his head as he walked off leaving John behind.

He couldn't believe that he just stood there lecturing that kid. Normally he would have scared him shitless by threatening to kill him in his sleep or maybe even kicking his ass but that didn't happen tonight. Instead the kid got off easy with a lecture and that bothered Mark some. Letting things go wasn't his style; it wasn't the way he did things. People who knew him feared his wrath which was part of the reason he had it so good. _But that kid…_ Mark's always noticed him in a way. He never paid much attention to his looks but every now and then he'd catch one of his matches and would be blown away. The kid was very talented and moved around the ring like a younger version of Shawn himself. Mark couldn't deny that the kid was good. He couldn't think of a single time he'd ever been disappointed after watching one of his matches so he knew the kid was talented.

What he couldn't quite grasp is why John would just let someone tell him what to do. At first glance, John seemed like the type of guy who wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do; he looked like an arrogant supermodel who would throw a tantrum if he couldn't get his way but… _Looks can be deceiving and boy was I ever wrong…_ John was the very opposite of all that. His character on television was far from being the real John Hennigan. He looked the same; like a cute little doll with perfect hair and the body to go along with it but that was just the outside. On the inside, Mark got the feeling that John was insecure.

Even as he got in his car to drive off, he couldn't find a reason for John to be so insecure. His matches were all top notch. In fact, Mark was sure that John was going to get a big push in the near future so he ruled that out. Next was his looks and after taking a good look at him tonight, Mark used common sense to rule that one out on his own. John was probably perfect in every way when it came to looks so if he was self conscious about his body then Mark needed to kick his ass anyway. The kid was too pretty for his own good and… _What the hell? I just called him pretty!_ Mark chuckled to himself feeling slightly embarrassed. _Maybe it's time to drop the whole thing completely._ And that's exactly what Mark did. Instead of going bar hopping looking for Adam, he went straight back to the hotel. He promised himself that he'd definitely catch Adam next and even made a note to check up on the kid because now…now the kid had his full attention whether he wanted it or not.

x-x-x

When John woke the next morning, he had to suppress the loud gasp that wanted to escape him. There was Shawn still straddled around his lap, face buried deep in his neck sleeping soundly. A part of John did not expect to wake up to something like this. The images from last night were still clear as day in his head but he was sure it was a dream; one that was all too real to be true and yet he couldn't have been more wrong. He shifted a little on the couch causing Shawn to stir in his sleep. The blonde muttered something but it was so soft and incoherent that it came off as a kind of purr. Shawn nuzzled his face in the nape of John's neck and then he was still again, breathing soundly as he was before. John let out a sigh of relief and then chuckled.

He cut his eyes to the sleeping man on his shoulder shaking his head. With his messy blonde hair everywhere and his girly sounding purrs, he reminded John of a kitten only much cuter. John found himself reaching up to touch his head. He tangled his fingers in the strands and started combing through them slowly. As he raked his fingers through Shawn's silky hair, he couldn't help but recall last night or more specifically, the kiss. It had been Shawn that initiated the kiss - not John, which left his mind running wild. No one in their right mind would willingly kiss him. The last person that kissed him like that was Rene and even then, it was different.

When Shawn crawled in his lap last night, he could have stopped him. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he wondered why he didn't just make him go away in the first place. _But the way he looked at me…the way he touched me…_ John closed his eyes and when he did, it was as if he could feel Shawn's hands on his face all over again followed by his soft lips. It felt so good – so right that John was now nervous as hell. John cocked his head slightly to the side and a flash of light caught his attention. He looked down and noticed the bracelet on Shawn's wrist. The light seeping in from the blinds was making it shine brighter than ever. John reached down and rubbed a finger around Shawn's wrist softly. _Si je sais ce qu'est l'amour, c'est a cause de vous_ The engraving on the jewelry stared back at him defiantly as if willing him to believe it but he knew better. _I thought I wanted this but then again, I never expected anyone to actually…but maybe he doesn't care that much. He was raped. Maybe this is just his way of coping. Yeah. That's got to be it but that still doesn't explain why I'm freaking out! _Once again Shawn stirred and that's when John realized that he'd been trembling slightly. He was so nervous about last night that he failed to realize just how much. _A part of me wanted something like this to happen weeks ago but I never thought… _Shawn lifted his head yawning softly jarring John from his thoughts. When he came down from his yawn his eyes immediately locked with John's. For a moment they just stared at one another. It was awkward – at least for John. He had no idea what to do with himself and the way Shawn's eyes steadily bore into him, he just wanted to explode from the tension. Shawn reached out to touch him again but John turned his head looking away.

"No…Shawn…" John abruptly stood to his feet and Shawn had to move to keep from falling on the floor. He turned to Shawn so that they could talk but when he met his sad eyes, he just turned and walked off. _I can't look at him._ John had just about made it to the restroom when a smaller hand clasped his wrist. John snatched it away angrily before he turned around locking eyes with Shawn. "Don't…don't touch me like that Shawn," he ordered. "We're business partners and I don't think we should have much interaction. Interaction only complicates things and your life is complicated enough," he said coldly. For a moment Shawn looked as if he was going to cry but in an instant, his expression changed into one of content, causing John to frown. _What the hell? Shouldn't he be throwing one of his little tantrums by now? Did that not sound as cold as I thought it would?_ John rolled his eyes and groaned. "Why are you being so obedient all of a sudden? Throw a tantrum! Talk back to me! Give me a reason to hate you!" he yelled but Shawn only lowered his head staring humbly at the floor. That was it for John. He couldn't take it anymore and he knew he'd lose his mind if forced to stay with Shawn for another five days.

John stormed across the room grabbing his suit case. He tossed it on the bed then proceeded by throwing his clothes and any other of his belongings in the bag. Shawn watched silently as his boss packed his bag, but pretty soon the seriousness of the situation dawned on him scaring him to pieces. _I can't let him leave me by myself…_

"Jo…John? What are you doing?" he managed. That was the first time Shawn had talked in almost two days. The sound of his voice made John's heart skip but he ignored it. He continued walking around the room grabbing up his things as if Shawn hadn't uttered a word. "John?" His boss half way closed his suitcase then headed straight for the door. "No! John wait!" Shawn ran over to him grabbing his arm but John snatched it away.

"Leave me alone Shawn. I've had enough of you and I'm getting away from here before I lose my fucking mind."

"But…you're just going to…to leave me here?" he cried. His voice was filled with hurt but John forced himself to ignore it. It was for the best. Without actually looking him in the eye, John turned to him and spoke.

"Oh get over yourself kitten," he answered dryly. "It's time to move on with your life. So what you got raped? People get raped all the time Shawn but they eventually get over it. You need to pull yourself together otherwise you'll be useless to me Monday night." Shawn's body started trembling slightly and there were tears streaming down his face but instead of arguing with his boss, he just nodded his head in silent agreement. "Good boy. I'll give you a call later in the week about your plane tickets and whatnot. I have this room booked for the rest of the week so you should be fine. My credit card's in the top drawer by the bed. Use it if you need it." He started out the door but then he hesitated. "By the way kitten, look at it like this: you'll have some time to yourself to reflect. I'm sure you need it. No one in their right mind would want to be cooped up with me all the time." And with that, he was out the door leaving a tearful Shawn behind.

* * *

**AN: You may get another update this weekend. Hopefully BEFORE N.W.O but at some point I gotta do homework for my stupid film class. Love you guys! Oh and Happy Valentine's Day! One of these days I'll have a reason to like this holiday n_n.  
**


	15. Motives

AN: N.W.O ended as I wanted it to and so my original ending may happen. I say 'may' because of last night's Raw. The segment between Shawn and Jibble about Mark...So here's the deal. I can stick with my original ending which means you'll have no idea what's going to happen OR....I can sympathize with JBL and write this new ending that will be just as good. The difference - one's a happy-ish ending with some people left happy and the other leaves everybody happy. I need to think on this but in the meantime, you can leave your thoughts about it. Looks like the story is going to wrap itsself up soon. Its still slightly AU because I am going to skip a few matches. I don't need them all for this. I think that's all. Thanks to everyone who left those encouraging reviews. It's almost 3:20 am but I just HAD to get this posted for you guys. Plus, I have to finish my anime stories soon before those people riot on me LOL Again, thanks to all of you who have been reviewing. You guys make me laugh sometimes :D It feels great to know that people are really happy with my work. It makes me go the extra mile to get it right. (And I'm really quite lazy :P) Love you ALL! Oh and pssst.....I have a secret new pairing I want to attempt. But you'll see soon enough when the Musi explodes into a fic. Okay. Really. I'm done talking.

**To 'TheVampireLucinda': I do these things for you. Pretty soon the Jibble muse will overtake you. O.O **

_"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."_ **~~~Judy Garland**

* * *

When Monday night finally rolled around, JBL was not sure if he could stand to even compete. He was still tripping over his deal with Shawn Michaels as well as fighting thoughts about past relations. The day he left Shawn at the hotel, he immediately boarded the first plane back to Texas. While he was on the plane, he thought that maybe if he took a nap while listening to music, he would be able to block mental images of Shawn from his mind but he couldn't. The entire plane ride back was pure hell. All he could think about was holding Shawn in his arms, carrying him out of that smelly bar. He remembered how Shawn nuzzled his face in his chest as if he was his protector.

If anyone else could read his thoughts they would probably think he was crazy. And maybe he was but that didn't change the fact that his employee was constantly on his brain now. And just when John thought it couldn't get any worse, he found himself dreaming of Shawn. The first night he dreamed of him, John managed to dismiss it. After all, the dream was about Shawn in a wrestling match so he figured that was pretty normal for two people who worked in the wrestling profession. However, the dream he had the night before was nothing less than unreal.

John leaned back against the soft cushion of his limo seat with his eyes tightly shut. Nothing….nothing was helping him forget. Shawn's kiss had triggered something in his brain that had him thinking of doing things that he didn't want to do. Shawn's body pressed against the soft cushion of the couch while he touched him in every sensitive area. Sucking his neck…teasing his nipples…making him moan the name 'John' in pleasure. Just one purr from Shawn could drive him straight to climax! _Oh fuck…_ John looked down in his seat and realized that he was completely aroused. His member was pushing against his zipper begging to be released from the torture but John ignored it. _I am NOT touching myself because of some employee!_ John suddenly felt the limo moving which meant it was time for their first segment. Perfect timing he thought as he prepared himself for the segment.

x-x-x

As soon as the first segment was over, Shawn headed straight for the break room. Most of the guys tended to hang out in the locker rooms and Shawn definitely did not want to be bothered. Shawn sat on the floor of the break room with his back against the wall. That way he could see all around the room. If any unwanted visitor happened to come in, he could easily make his escape. As Shawn sat alone on the floor, he was once again reminded just how alone he really was now. The first segment of the night had been one with his ex-good friend Rey Mysterio. It was just a segment – just good acting right? Wrong. Shawn knew that everything Rey said was the truth and who could blame him for calling him out like that? At one time, Rey considered Shawn a good friend and an inspiration. Shawn betrayed him by screwing him out of his title shot. Though the entire thing was scripted, that still didn't explain to Rey why Shawn was really working with JBL. Rey looked as if he were going to cry when Shawn walked out of that ring but it's too late. _What's done is done._ There was no turning back now and he was going to uphold his end of the bargain if it was the last thing he'd do.

So far it seemed that John was doing his job. Shawn hadn't received any threatening calls about Bret lately and when he talked with his mother last week, she said she received a little more than she was used to getting. _John's been taking care of me so I can't let him down…I won't let him down. _No. Shawn would not let John down because that's the type of person he was. He always did his job whether he liked it or not. Plus, a part of Shawn now wanted to work for John to indulge his own personal motive. When John left him all alone last week at that hotel, Shawn had way too much time to think. All week his thoughts drifted from person to person in a vain attempt to sort out feelings. Shawn had been without a true love for so long that all his emotions were just scattered all over the place. Just what exactly did he feel for Hunter? Was is true love or was it just an illusion to hide the pain of Bret's departure from his life? And then there was Cena.

They grew very close during the time they were tag team partners. In the short span of four months, the sexual tension had been off the charts. On several occasions, he and John ended up in touchy-feely situations that ended with one or the other coming to their senses. Even as Shawn thought of him now, he couldn't deny that he cared about him. Cena always made him smile even when it seemed like the world was completely against him. And the kid was strong. Very strong. The Shawn Michaels at his age would have freaked out if everyone didn't like him. Cena takes his mixed reactions like a man night after night, never letting it phase him. Although Cena plays a cocky, arrogant Wonder Boy on screen, Shawn knew him to be a kind, sensitive man that probably loves him very much. _And I'm sure I love him too but…_

"Shawn? Shawn!" Shawn jumped at the sound of the voice. He looked up to see Chris kneeling in front of him. "Are you alright?" he asked. "You looked kind of spaced out."

"I'm fine." Chris studied Shawn for a minute, taking note of how surprisingly well he looked this week. There were no black eyes or bruises that he could see and Shawn seemed to be okay…maybe. Chris reached out to touch him but Shawn slapped his hand away.

"Don't Chris. I'm fine. There's no need for touching."

"Alright. Fine. Sorry. I just…worry about you. How have you been?" _Man he's grouchy. But who wouldn't be if they had to live with a jerk like JBL?_

"I've been okay."

"Is Jibble treating you alright?" he asked casually. Shawn frowned at him, giving him a knowing look.

"What's **that** supposed to mean?" Shawn asked.

"I didn't mean any harm by it," Chris replied, throwing his hands up. "Really. I was just…you look good Shawn. A lot better than you did last week."_ Despite the fact that you were raped…_

"Were you expecting me to look worse?" he snapped.

"No Shawn. Please don't get upset with me. I'm really just trying to be a good friend here."

"We're not friends Chris. You made sure of that," he said coldly.

"Fuck Shawn, I'm sorry for caring alright! But you…you know full well that despite what you say, it's still hard for the roster to believe that you are with JBL. What is up with him? What's he got that I ain't got?"

"I don't have to listen to this." Shawn stumbled to his feet and started towards the door but Chris grabbed his arm stopping him. "Let go of me!" Shawn yelled. He snatched away from Chris violently scaring the younger man before practically running out the door. Shawn hurried down the hall and into the locker room. His heart stopped when he found himself face to face with JBL. The room immediately filled with an awkward tension that Shawn couldn't quite place. It looked like John was getting ready to change for the night's main event but Shawn had interrupted. Just when Shawn was about to leave, John somehow managed to find his voice to speak.

"Hey…Shawn." Shawn turned around to face his boss nervously and he too somehow managed to speak.

"I'm alright."

"You sure?" John pressed. He had only been with Shawn for a little over a month now but he could tell that something was bothering him. Shawn looked a bit rattled and he was barely holding the infuriating eye contact that made John nervous as hell. "Shawn?" Shawn looked up at him and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm…I'll be fine." Shawn grabbed his bag that John brought in for him and proceeded to change in front of him. John watched as Shawn rid himself of his shirt, his long blonde hair falling beautifully down his back. John fought the urge to reach out and touch it then cursed himself for even having such thoughts. He turned away from Shawn and went back to undressing himself. First he rid himself of his jacket placing it to the side and next came the tie. Afterwards he started struggling with the buttons on his shirt but he was having no such luck. For some reason, he just _knew_ Shawn was watching him now and that was fucking with his head. _Fuck it! I'll just rip the shirt off!_ John started pulling at his shirt, trying to rip it but Shawn stopped him. He grabbed John's arms lowering them to his sides.

"I…Let me help." His voice was low and commanding which caught John off guard. Nevertheless, he couldn't say no to the blonde. Shawn stood inches apart from him and began the slow task of unbuttoning his shirt. John watched Shawn's hands closely and nervously as they worked each button. Every now and then Shawn's fingers would brush his skin ever so lightly causing the Texan's breath to hitch. The final button of his shirt came loose and John's skin was hit by the cool air of the locker room.

"Thanks Shawn." Shawn blinked a couple of times before stepping back from his boss.

"Yeah." Shawn turned away from John and began stretching for his match. He needed to do something to take his mind off of the tension in the room as well as the solutions to all of the tension. Ever since the night he kissed John, a part of him hungered to kiss him again. Why? He didn't know. In fact, he wasn't even sure why he kissed John in the first place but at the time it seemed like a good idea. His day was nothing less than miserable. With John away at the gym, he had too much time to think about things. All his thoughts started one way but would end with JBL. Ever since John saved him from Kurt, Shawn realized that John was actually a decent person. _He just doesn't show it. I wonder why…_ Shawn did a few more stretches but pretty soon he couldn't take the silence anymore. Silence only added to the weird tension so Shawn decided to press his luck by asking questions. Plus, something was troubling him about John and he needed to get to the bottom of it.

"Say…John?"

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

"Are you happy?" Shawn heard John chuckle behind him which made him smile.

"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I'm happy. Couldn't be any happier."

"Oh. Okay. If you say so," he answered casually. Shawn could feel John's eyes boring into him which meant he struck a nerve.

"What? Do I look unhappy to you?" the Texan asked. His tone of voice seemed to be a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity which didn't surprise Shawn at all. Vince McMahon always told him that he had a scary knack for reading people. Sometimes he was so good at it that it actually pissed people off but that was not his intention right now. Shawn quickly turned to face his boss staring at him intensely. He closed the gap between them leaving mere inches of space. The heat began to rise to John's face again and he could feel himself wanting to run away. Shawn slid his hands down John's arms then clasped his hands. He stared down at their hands as he answered softly.

"No. You don't. You seem like you're happy enough but I think you could be happier." John was not expecting such an answer but if Shawn was looking to make him think, he succeeded. John never really sat down to think about his happiness. To John, as long as he was wrestling and had lots of money he was happy. Never had he thought of other things to make him happy, especially after Ron left. Since then happiness meant money, beer, the occasional sex, and wrestling. That was all he needed right?

"Since you have all the answers kitten then tell me how I can be happier?" Shawn suddenly looked up at him with a softened expression that made John's heart skip a beat. Shawn reached up and cupped the side of his face drawing a low hiss from John. "Shawn, don't…" he moaned.

"If I really get you to Wrestlemania as champ, will that make you happy?" he asked. For a moment John was unable to speak. It was a combination of the question, mixed with Shawn's alluring voice…his touch…his eyes…it all seemed to make his head spin.

"Wow. Shawn I—

"Will it John? Please. I really wanna know."

"I…I suppose it would but Shawn—

"Done. I'll get you to Mania as champ." Shawn quickly let go of John's hands and left the locker room. John just stood there at a loss for words_. Shawn seems to really wanna make me happy but that's not really part of the deal…is it?_ John banged his head against the locker struggling to find some kind of excuse. _I know I told him that we were a pretend couple but I never said he had to make me happy. 'Stay away from ex lovers or get hurt' but even now I don't think I could bring myself to hurt him anymore. _

"GODDAMMIT!" John yelled.

"Whoa. Calm down John. What the hell's wrong with you? Shawn come to his senses yet?" John looked up and rolled his eyes.

"Chris Irvine. Shouldn't you be somewhere wining about something or another?"

"Maybe," he smirked. "So when are you going to let everyone know what's _really_ going on John? I know Shawn's not staying with you willingly so what kind of deal did you make with him?"

"What makes you think I cut him a deal?"

"Because no one in their right mind would want to stay with you," Chris challenged. The words stung John like bee. Chris noticed that John was no longer frowning but that he looked almost sad even. John suddenly looked up pushing past him for the door.

"You know Chris, you're right. No one wants somebody like me," he answered as he left the room.

x-x-x

The match was a successful one in Shawn's opinion. For seven whole minutes he had the crowd standing on their feet. Would he lay down for JBL or would he retaliate by using Sweet Chin Music to lay him out? It was great watching the crowd get into his antics but he only prolonged what he already had planned to make John happy and it looked like it worked. As soon as Shawn made it up the ramp behind the curtain, John was standing there wearing a big grin on his face. Shawn was a little taken back but then he felt a warmth overcome him. John was smiling. He was actually smiling.

"Oh my God kitten. You are a mess! You had the crowd eatin' you up tonight. The things you do…"

"Yeah well you brought out the best in me. That look you gave me when you told me to lie down? That was the point when I just KNEW I could make the crowd scream."

"It was all you kitten," he grinned.

"Naa…we just work well together."

"Yeah. I guess we do. Who'd a thunk it?" They both laughed until another awkward silence fell.

"Uh…well…I guess we ought to get a shower."

"Yeah uh…"

"Hey Shawn!" Shawn and John turned to see Chris coming towards them. John just groaned. He was not in the mood to hear more of Chris's preachings so he patted Shawn on the back and left him alone. Shawn just frowned.

"What do you want?"

"I come to tell you that Vince wants a word with you."

"Alright. See ya later…"

"Whoa. Wait a second Shawn…"

"Nope. Gotta go." Shawn pushed past Chris and headed straight for Vince's office. Once inside he took a seat across from the boss and sighed.

"What did I do Vince? What now?" The chairman smiled at his favorite employee while shaking his head.

"Nothing. Not a thing Mr. Wrestlemania. I just wanted to check up on you."

"Check on me?"

"Yeah. Just wanted to make sure all was well with you. As you know, I had to release a few inactive employees because of the stocks. I had a few guys come to me for raises but only one or two got them."

"Where are you going with this?" Shawn asked.

"I'm not accusing you of anything Shawn. It's just that you play your part so well—

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe John and I work well together?" Shawn snapped. _Why the hell is everyone so nosy? Why does John have to be up to no good all the time? This is pissing me off._ Vince leaned back in his chair, startled by the sudden outburst. _Could Shawn really have feelings for John?_

"I…suppose you're right. I was just checking Shawn. You know how much you mean to me and if something's off about my top employee I'm gonna do everything I can to help him." As Shawn listened to his words, he realized what Vince was asking. It seemed like word had gotten around that he and John were dating so naturally everybody was going to be concerned. _I could ask Vince for a raise…_

"Just what are you saying Vince?"

"I'm saying that if you need something, then ask. I will not say no because of how much you mean to me and the company. I'll give you whatever you need with no questions asked." Shawn thought some more about the predicament. Everything would be all over right here and right now if he just took the money. There would be no need for John's services because Vince would give him more than enough to pay off those debts and now would be perfect. He wouldn't have to answer any questions about Bret and he could go back to living his life. _Yeah. I won't owe anything. Bret will be safe and I could sleep at night without worrying about him. My mother would never know anything was ever wrong and John… He'd be out of my life for good and he'd never have to see my face again but… _What to do? What to do? "Shawn?"

"I…I'm fine Vince. Really."

"Alright then," he sighed. "But just so you know, the offer's always there. You're dismissed." Shawn smiled at the chairman and hurried out of the room.

x-x-x

John took a quick shower the quickly dressed. As soon as he finished, a happy Shawn came walking inside the locker room.

"So what was up with Vince?" John asked.

"Nothing. He was just concerned about our storyline but I told him I wanted to finish it out. I like it."

"Oh okay. Well I'll sit outside and wait on you. We can grab a shake or something before we go back to the hotel if ya want."

"A shake would be great. I think I've earned a nice caramel latte."

"Alright but don't take too long with your girly habits. You take longer showers than my ex wife," John grumbled.

"I heard that! And there's nothing wrong with wanting to smell good," Shawn huffed. "Besides, you smell nice _all_ the time." John just shook his head leaving his employee to shower. Once outside, John pulled out his headphones and took a seat on the bench by the door. A few minutes later he fell fast asleep.

x-x-x

When Shawn finally emerged from the locker room, he was oddly pleased to find his boss sound asleep on the bench. His music could be heard from his headphone which made Shawn shake his head. _Those things are much too loud. He's going to go deaf._ Shawn quietly approached John stopping in front of him. He reached up and carefully pulled the plugs out of John's ears. The Texan did not stir at all which meant he was probably exhausted. _He overworks himself. A company and wrestling? I don't see how he does it… _

Shawn found himself cupping John's face again. The urge to kiss John's lips was just as strong as it was that day he really kissed him but he knew it was off limits. John made it clear that he did not want to interact that much because it would only complicate things and Shawn had to agree. _Yes, it will complicate things but…_ He agreed with John except that he was certain that things became complicated a long time ago. Shawn's fingers moved to trace the outside of John's lips. They were softer than Shawn remembered and he wondered whether they would feel that way against his lips. Without thinking, Shawn leaned forward and brushed his lips across John's. The Texan finally stirred awake and Shawn stepped back.

"Wake up sleepy head. Time to get going. You promised me a shake."

"Yeah…Shake…Sure kitten," he grumbled. He was still half asleep and it made Shawn laugh. Shawn grabbed John's hands helping him to his feet.

"I'll hold your hand in case you fall asleep again," he whispered as he led John away from the arena.


	16. Epiphany

AN: Hey guys! I have WAY too much free time. Okay. That's a lie but this chapter was bugging me all day so I had to stop what I was doing and type it. Mind you I have a test in Western Lit tomorrow but whatever. The Jibble muse was eating away at my brain so I had to type. I think I love this chapter. Its not necessarily because a lot of stuff happens. (Because it doesn't.) It's a fairly simple chapter but I suppose I love it because it's the highpoint for me. This is where things could go one way or another. Well, I hope you enjoy it. Like I said, not a whole lot going on but my brain forced this chapter on me today. I blame te muses. And so it continues...

Oh before I forget, I recommend these fics. Why? Because I am picky as hell and I won't read it unless it's GOOD STUFF! As a writer, I know how hard it is to get people to read and/or review your stuff. That is why whenever I come across something that's good (or has potential) I recommend it. A lot of times, people are afraid to venture out and try new pairings and things which is why I think some people who are good writers don't get the credit they deserve. Every now and then, venture out and read something new. You never know what will happen. Me? I'm happy as long as MY READERS are happy :D But seriously. Check these out. I guarantee you'll find at least one you'll like. That is all.

**1)** **Discovering Love** --- by **_wrestlefan4_** Excellent fic that pairs Morrison/Cena and Morrison/Miz. Go read it. Its a great work in progress and def one of my new favorites.

**2) ****Assassinating the Icon** --- by **_HBKsMainEvent_** It's a Shawter fic but its deeper than that. It's more of a psychological drama but its a masterful work so far.

**3) Cover** --- by **_Randysdymond06 _** It's a hetero fic but its still good. Very good plot. Lots of twists. Check it out.

**4) Bloody Legacy** --- by **_Animal Luvr 4 Life_** It's a crime drama so its def AU but if you like stuff like the Godfather, then you'll love this. Check it out!

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_"You love simply because you cannot help it."_ **~ by Kim Anderson ~**

---

Chris found Cena sitting at a table by himself drinking a beer. Chris took a seat across from him and grabbed his beer, taking a swig of it.

"Hey man. I know I said we'd meet but damn. Get your own beer." Chris slammed the beer back down on the table smirking.

"I needed that so sorry."

"Yeah whatever. So what's wrong with you? Why'd you wanna meet?"

"I noticed that you spent the entire evening avoiding Shawn." Cena's smile faded and his face turned to one of pure disgust.

"I couldn't do it Chris. I just couldn't…"

"I know Cena but you can't avoid him for the rest of your life. Avoiding him isn't going to make the pill easier to swallow."

"What pill Chris? There is no pill. He and Shawn are not—

"Yeah well they sure as hell are putting on one hell of a show."

"And that's just what it is – a show."

"And it's quite the act. Even Shawn seems to be _willingly_ playing his parts with no problem," he sang. Chris downed some more of Cena's beer, not caring that it was running down the sides of his face. Cena snatched the beer back from Chris. "Hey! Give that back!"

"No way man. You are upset but getting drunk's not going to help."

"You're one to talk. Give it back man. I need it. After what I witnessed tonight I gotta have it." Chris reached for the beer again but Cena held it back.

"What exactly did you witness?"

"Give me that beer back and I'll talk." Cena reluctantly gave Chris the bottle back and watched him down the rest in one go. Cena signaled for the waitress to bring two more drinks to their table as well as some Jack Daniels and shot glasses. Chris quickly grabbed the Jack and started drinking straight from the bottle which had Cena a little more than concerned.

"Chris, are you going to tell me what's bothering you or—

"You know Cena, I can't understand it. Love…why is it so goddamned unpredictable?"

"Er…"

"Don't answer that!" he snapped. He downed some more beer and then burst into laughter. "Of all the people Cena. Of all the guys on the roster he had to choose JBL. Layfield. One of the most disgusting individuals around."

"Chris, I don't think it's that serious man. I mean, come on. You said it yourself a few weeks ago that there had to be a catch. That's the only reason I've been able to keep it together man because there's that chance that all of it's a fluke. That Shawn's just—

"Falling in love with that creep," he laughed. Chris took another swig of Jack before Cena snatched the bottle away.

"That's enough Chris. You need to get a hold of yourself. I can't understand their relationship either but I'm dealing with it without drinking myself to death. You need to—

"I need to figure out how John did it. Just how did he make Shawn fall in love with him?"

"Why the hell do you keep saying that?" Cena snapped. "Shawn's not falling in love with JBL."

"People only grow defensive about people when they start caring for them," Chris reasoned. Chris, glassy-eyed and semi-drunk, seemed to still have his wits about him. Though he looked somewhat out of it, judging by his tone of voice Cena couldn't help but feel that Chris was dead serious.

"Defensive?"

"Shawn practically bit my head off about John tonight. And you know what's funny? For someone who left him to get raped he—

"Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"I don't know. Something about John but it doesn't matter—

"No, no, no!" he snapped. "What's this about rape?"

"Oh yeah," he sang. "That. Shawn was raped a few days ago by some of John's friends. And you know what Cena? I hear it was bad," he giggled. Cena didn't know whether he should lunge across the table and start pulverizing Chris or start drinking himself. _Rape? Shawn was raped? Why didn't anyone tell me? _

"Who else knows about the rape Chris?" Cena's blood was practically on fire now and it was taking everything he had not to start tearing the bar apart table by table, chair by chair. Chris rolled his eyes and giggled again.

"Oh Johnny, everyone knows…well, not really. Let's see…" Chris held up his hands and tried counting. "I know so that's one. Um…Dave knows. Yeah. He told me about it over the phone. Um…Randy and Mark know…how many is that?" he giggled. "I count four!"

"What about Hunter Chris? Does he know?" Chris shook his head furiously.

"Naa, I don't think so. Mark wants to keep it from him for some odd reason. Maybe he thinks Hunter's a psycho killer person." Chris grabbed the bottled again and drunk some more Jack. All of a sudden, he leaned to the side falling onto the floor.

"Oh damn." Cena jumped up and helped Chris to his feet. "There's no way you can drive back rock star. You are totally wasted. And Jack? Who the hell drinks Jack straight like that?" Chris only giggled again as he tried walking. He didn't get very far before he was leaning back into Cena's arms. "I got you." John put an arm around Chris' waist ushering him out the door. He spotted Chris' SUV parked a few spaces from his own but it would just have to stay there until morning. In the meantime, he somehow managed to get Chris in the back of his Ram. It was hard since his truck was high and Chris was giggling all over the place. He ended up having to smack him in the face a few times to get the rock star to shut up.

Since Cena was unsure where Chris was staying, he had no choice but to bring him back to his place for the night. Cena was staying in a room at the _Ritz_. It was a little too fancy for his taste but it was the only place with a vacancy at the time. By the time Cena got to the hotel, Chris had fallen asleep. _Figures._ Cena opened the side door of his Raw and pulled Chris out. He stirred awake but was only half awake. Cena struggled to get Chris into the building before finally he said 'fuck it'. He picked Chris up cradling him in his arms and carried him into the elevator. They didn't have far to go since Cena was staying on the 5th floor.

"Alright Chris. Come on. Just a few more feet and we're there." Cena helped Chris out of the elevator, down the hall and into his room. Chris immediately hurried towards the bed and just collapsed onto it. Cena bolted the door and sighed.

"There goes my bed for the night." Cena dimmed the lights and started peeling off pieces of clothing. When he got down to his boxers, that's when he heard Chris mumble.

"Chris? Chris, are you awake?" he hissed.

"Yeah."

"Well hell. Move over so I can sleep in my bed. Not my fault your ass got drunk." Chris somehow managed to kick out of his shoes and then he rolled over leaving Cena some room in the bed. Cena killed the rest of the lights and got into bed next to Chris. Cena rolled over on his side so that his back was to Chris. After a while, Cena felt himself drifting off to sleep only to be disturbed by Chris.

"Hey Cena?"

"What?"

"Do you think it's possible for John to love Shawn?"

"Huh? Where the hell did that come from?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Goodnight Cena."

"Night Chris."

x-x-x

Shawn and John were seated at a booth in the very back of _Starbucks_. John ordered a small coffee while Shawn ordered the biggest Caramel Latte on the menu. A minute later their waitress returned with their orders. Shawn had the biggest smile on his face as he eyed his big cup of pure sugar.

"You really need that much sugar? You're going to be up all night." Shawn licked some of the whipped cream off the top shrugging.

"Then I'll watch you sleep until I fall asleep. Besides, I've been craving one of these things for weeks." Shawn happily sipped on his drink while John stared down into his coffee every now and then stirring it with his spoon. Shawn immediately noticed that he wasn't drinking and started to wonder what was going on inside his head. His face held no expression but Shawn was sure it was another wall. John was so used to hiding his feelings that it was almost natural to him now. The thought of John repressing his feelings made Shawn feel sorry for him which was surprising. He never thought he'd see the day when he would truly feel sorry for John, but he was wrong. Right now he wanted more than ever to make John happy and help him learn to show his true feelings. It was a dangerous thing though. For all he knew, John could be angry at the world and John's wrath was a hard thing to deal with. He learned that the hard way when he first defied him. But even now when he thought about it, maybe John wasn't really angry at him but angry at himself that day. _Maybe he took his anger out on me and if that's the case then it was a start. I can take it… The pain… I've been hurt worse than that so a beating from John is nothing. I want to know…I want to help him…_ "You know, your coffee's going to get cold if you don't drink it." John chuckled and shook his head.

"I'm not all that thirsty."

"Fair enough." They were both silent for a while, neither knowing quite what to say to the other. Meanwhile, John continued to stare at his coffee lost in thought. It was weird sitting and having coffee with an employee. It was even weirder knowing that in a month's time you grew to somewhat care about him. John could no longer lie to himself about the matter. He may have left Shawn alone at the hotel for a week, but it did nothing to change the fact that he missed him. The entire week he was away from Shawn, all he did was think about him and that kiss. His kiss. The one Shawn initiated and not him.

All week he pondered that kiss. What did it mean? How would it change their relationship? So far, nothing had really changed that he could sense. Shawn wasn't going out of his way to defy him like he did in the beginning so he had no reason to yell at him. And then there was Cena. John knew Cena had a thing for Shawn but for some reason he went out of his way to avoid the blonde all evening. John wasn't even sure if Shawn was aware of it and if he was, he wasn't making a big deal about it. _Shawn's not fighting me anymore and I must admit that it scares me. I know I want people to listen to me but not like this. This isn't me. Or is it? Who am I? I don't know who I am anymore…_

"Hey John?"

"Hn?"

"Do you ever hear from your ex wife?" John looked up at the blonde and smirked.

"Huh? What brought that about?"

"I was just wondering," he answered softly. He stared down at his own drink with a sudden look of sadness on his face. "I was just wondering if I was the only one who missed – but never mind. It's nothing." He shook the thought and went back to sipping on his drink. John sat there for a long time before he finally answered.

"No. I never hear from Rene but lately I've found myself thinking about her…and Ron." John let out a deep breath then started fiddling with his tie.

"Oh good. Makes me feel a whole lot better about myself then."

"You've been thinking about one of your ex's?" John asked. He continued to fiddle with his tie, doing his best to avoid having to look at Shawn.

"Actually I've been thinking about all of them lately. I keep wondering if I ever really loved them the way they were supposed to be loved." John's head snapped up and he frowned.

"You? Not love someone properly? You gotta be kidding me!"

"You laugh but I'm serious. Sometimes I can't help but think that all my relationships failed because of me. It was all me John."

"How could you even think something like that Shawn?" Shawn looked up at his boss forcing a smile.

"When you've had as many failed relationships as I have, you start to wonder these things. I lost Bret, Hunter, and Chris. Two of those guys left me and I left the other one. That says a lot about me." Shawn went back to sipping on his drink while John watched him deep in thought. He knew Shawn had been through a lot of relationships but they all seemed pretty serious from his point of view. Of course, John wasn't around when Shawn and Bret were thick but he knew about Hunter and Chris. From what he observed about Shawn's relationship with Chris, it was more of a rebound than anything else. They had chemistry but it wasn't the same as it was with Hunter and speaking of Hunter, John never thought he was worthy of having Shawn in the first place. John always thought Hunter to be selfish and possessive. He seemed to only care about Shawn when it was convenient for him but John couldn't be too sure. The two guys have been best friends for several years so apparently Hunter wasn't THAT bad. But still… As John watched Shawn sip on his drink he couldn't help but feel for Shawn. It was because he could relate to the problem. He too wondered about Rene and Ron though he'd already concluded that he loved Ron.

"I don't know much about your relationship with Bret, but…I can tell you this. I've been watching you long enough to know that you put your heart on the line every time. If anything Shawn you might have cared too much for those guys." John looked away and started staring at his tie again. Shawn placed his hands on top of John's startling the Texan. Their eyes met and Shawn smiled.

"Maybe you're right but I can't help it. That's just the way I am. When someone opens their heart to me, I give them all of me in return. Twice it has bitten me on the butt and I left before it could bite me the third time."

"Then why do you do it Shawn? Why do you keep trying even after you've failed all those times?"

"Because sooner or later, I'm bound to get it right. I think about my relationship with Bret more than any of the others. I loved him so much John that it hurt. I practically gave him my soul and then one day he just left. I haven't seen or heard from him since."

"Wow Shawn. I didn't…"

"Don't worry about it. You know what's funny? Up until now, I've never been able to talk about Bret with anyone, not even Hunter." John looked away from Shawn searching for a response. Instead he grew distracted by the bracelet on Shawn's wrist.

"Do you ever take that off?" John nodded towards the bracelet. Shawn raised his arm studying it in the light.

"Nope. You told me not to remember?" John thought about the day Shawn first wore the bracelet. It was the day of their first taping of Raw together and… Yep. He remembered. In fact, he remembered every detail about that night because it was Shawn that paid the price for his jealous behavior. Just thinking about it made him want to hurl. He could remember the hurt look on Shawn's face and the betrayal in Cena's eyes. _I never should have made this deal…_ "Hey John?"

"Hn?"

"We should get going. It's late and you need your rest."

"I need my rest?"

"Yeah. I don't own a huge corporation like you which means I can sleep in tomorrow." John left money on the table to cover their bill then he and Shawn enjoyed a nice, quiet ride back to the hotel.

Once they made it back to their room, both were overcome with fatigue and were ready to hit the sack. John headed straight for the restroom while Shawn undressed in the room. Minutes later John emerged from the restroom but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Shawn lying on the bed. _Oh God…I can't…not tonight…I feel too vulnerable…_ John headed to the closet and pulled a blanket from the top of it.

"Is that for me?" Shawn asked. He rolled off the bed and started towards John.

"Actually it's for me kitten. I think I'll let you have the bed tonight. I'm gonna crash on the couch."

"But you have a meeting in the morning. You should sleep in the bed."

"I can't Shawn. Not tonight."

"But you need to," he insisted. He snatched the blanket from him tossing it to the side before inching closer to John, making him feel nervous all over again. "Bed. Now."

"I…I can't. I really can't tonight Shawn." _Please…God make him go away…_

"Why not?" Shawn touched the side of John's face and he closed his eyes getting lost in the touch. "Please? Tell me why you can't." Shawn reached up and pulled John closer to him, their lips brushing each other's lightly.

"Shawn…please…go…" he moaned but Shawn wouldn't listen. Instead, he nipped at John's lips coaxing him into another kiss. This time it was different. John grabbed Shawn's shoulders and turned him around, shoving him against the wall. He cupped Shawn's face and pulled him into a crushing kiss. The blonde feverishly responded by wrapping his arms around him. John hungrily…greedily, explored Shawn's mouth, kissing him with an unrivaled passion until they both ran out of breath. _Oh God…what am I doing? _John tore his lips away from Shawn and backed away. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't…" His face grew cold and he was shaking all over. _Did I really do that?_ Shawn reached out to him but John grabbed the blanket off the floor and hurried off to the sofa. Shawn watched him walk away then with a sigh he turned out all the lights and climbed into the bed alone. For the first time since the rape, he was so overcome with emotion that it spilled over into tears. He angrily rolled over on his stomach and just buried his face into his pillow. He hated it. He hated that he was crying right now because the tears only confirmed what he'd been hoping was a mistake. But there was no mistaking it now which meant he was in trouble. Big trouble and it had only just begun.

Meanwhile, John lay silent in the dark listening to the sound of his breathing. Once he thought he heard Shawn cough but just as quickly the sound died. But he couldn't worry about that right now because he was in trouble. _I kissed him…I kissed him like an animal and I enjoyed every second of it. Dammit what's happening to me?_ John closed his eyes tightly trying to force the image out of his head but it was no use. The more he tried to push it away, the clearer the picture became. _Why am I…?_ John's body began trembling all over and he was breaking into a sweat. His heart was beating so fast that he thought it was going to pound right out of his chest. _Oh God…_ John bit his lip and another image flashed across his head. It was of him and Shawn sitting in the coffee shop. They were holding hands like a loving couple and Shawn smiling and watching him as if he… _No. He can't… _Another image flashed across his brain; the same one that's been driving him crazy for a week. Shawn was straddled across his lap, cupping his face…looking into his eyes as if he…and John was looking back, welcoming him as if…

"God help me I think I love him," he whispered.


	17. The Truth Behind the Truth

AN: This update is about three days late thanks to . There was this stupid login error which resulted in me joining a kink meme on LJ and have been laughing my ass off at some of the humorous requests. If you haven't been apart of a meme then you are missing out! Some of the requests are funny as hell but its worth it to see what writers can pull off some of the bizzar, kinky requests. If you would like to read or join in on the fun, let me know and I will send you the link. Trust me. Its too much fun. Not a lot going on in this chapter but it sets up for an explosive Monday Night Raw. Trust me. Just....trust me. Enjoy! Oh and I hope there aren't too many errors in the chapter. No betas this time since I'm trying to get it finished for you guys. Plus, its 2:30am and I am sleepy as hell.

* * *

_"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."_  
**~ by Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land ~ **

**---  
**

When Shawn finally woke up the next day, it was nearing two in the afternoon. He wasn't sure what time he fell asleep last night but it had been quite the exhausting night and he needed that rest. He sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard so that he could get a view of the couch. John's blanket was no longer there which struck him as odd. _Did John really have much time to pick up his stuff before leaving this morning? _Shawn got out of bed and walked towards the couch. He stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted the small envelope on the table beside it. Shawn's heart immediately sank because he knew before opening it what lay inside. Not wanting to prolong the bad news, he snatched up the envelope and pulled out the letter.

_After the meeting I'm taking a plane to one of my condos. I think we both need some time apart and I'm sure you could use some more time alone. I apologize for my actions last night and I can assure you it won't happen again. See you Monday night._

_John_

Shawn balled up the letter and tossed it across the room. _Damn him! Damn John!_ Shawn plopped down on the couch and sighed. He should have known JBL would leave him alone again and who could blame him? John specifically set up boundaries to which Shawn so eagerly broke, but he didn't do it on purpose…really. Last night when he coaxed John into a kiss, it was like a magnet drawing him near. He just could not help himself and the sad part about it was that he didn't regret it. Not at all and if he could do it over again, he was pretty sure that the result would be the same. Plus, his coaxing revealed something to him that made him feel a little bit better about his insubordinate actions. It seemed that John was starting to care for him more than he was letting on and just the very thought made Shawn's heart flutter. On the other hand, he knew it could only be a secret known only to himself. Judging by John's actions last night, Shawn was pretty sure that John was not ready for another relationship. In fact, John seemed damn near scared to death which kind of hurt Shawn. Never in his life had he seen someone so scared and conflicted over the tiniest kiss. _But he kissed me back… He kissed me back with so much fury that it made my head spin and I…_

"I want more," he said to himself. _Damn it Shawn! Stop being so greedy! You already have two guys fighting for you so let John go. Think of his feelings… _Shawn let out a loud groan. _Even if I wanted to see where this could lead, John would never go for it._ And he was right. John just wasn't ready to love again and Shawn could relate. That was exactly why he broke up with Chris months before. Chris wanted a long term relationship and though Shawn did too, he didn't love Chris enough to commit that way. _I just wasn't ready to put my heart on the line again…I'm still not sure if I'm ready but I can't deny my feelings for him. What to do Shawn? How do I get through this? _

Shawn leaned back on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. As much as he hated his feelings for John, he had to accept them. He had no choice. After kissing him twice and wishing he could do it again, there was no way he could lie to himself but his feelings weren't the issue. Shawn knew he could deal with hiding his feelings but John was another story. _He's not ready…I just know he isn't._ Because Shawn was beginning to understand John, he wanted to do everything possible to protect his feelings. Just last night Shawn saw him smile a genuine smile…like he was happy and Shawn loved it. He loved seeing that side of John and he hoped he could be the one to keep him that way. _But I want to see him happy all the time and I refuse to let him down…_ So if John wasn't ready to admit his feelings then it meant Shawn had to bury his. Right now he could bask in the fact that he cared for John but once they hit that arena Monday night, he would have to pretend that nothing happened. That nothing changed. That they never laughed, that they never bonded over coffee, and most importantly, that they never shared a kiss – a powerful kiss that almost led them to bed. None of it ever happened and that's the way it had to be. It was a business relationship. Nothing more. Nothing less. For the next 3 months he would have to forget any of it ever happened but he was used to this. The pain. Having to hide his feelings…

"But this time, I really wish I didn't have to," he whispered. It was going to be a long week and it had only just begun.

x-x-x

John Layfield stepped through the door of his Chicago condo and headed straight for his liquor cabinet. He pulled down a bottle of his favorite wine and poured him glass before taking a seat at the kitchen table. He let out a deep sigh as he stared intensely at the wine glass. The face of his employee stared back at him instead of the purple liquid drink. _Why Shawn? Why did you have to make me fall in love with you? _John was beginning to understand why so many people found Shawn Michaels hard to resist. John always thought he was sexy. Hell even the straightest man would take one look at Shawn and find him oddly attractive. He was just too sexy for his own good. He had the perfect ass to go with his already sexy body. His blue eyes were captivating and his silky locks could rival that of any woman's on the roster. But it wasn't just his looks that got people hooked. It was his overwhelming desire to care and it was pissing John off. _Why would someone like him start caring about me? What made him dare to do it? _

John spent the entire three hours on the plane racking his brain for an answer to these questions. Everything he came up with just didn't seem to fit the situation. The first answer that popped into is head was that maybe Shawn was pretending. Maybe…just maybe but John had the feeling that Shawn was past the age of playing games. After having his heart broken so many times, he doubted Shawn had the heart to play games anymore. _So if he's not playing games, is he testing me? Is he trying to break me?! Dammit Shawn!_ John cursed his employee some more and then cursed himself for cursing Shawn. It wasn't John's style to put the blame on others when the blame was surely his own fault. None of this would have happened if he just would have minded his own business.

John preyed on the weak for a living. That's how he got his kicks and a lot of times both him and his employee would benefit from their business relationship. However, this was one partnership he should have left alone but at the time, it just seemed too easy. Shawn was down in the dumps. He was starting to lose back to back matches and his wrestling game was slightly off. John first noticed it when Hunter got drafted to Smackdown. After that, Shawn just continued to spiral. The icing on the cake happened after Cena got injured and he got involved with Chris Jericho. Things were so bad that Shawn just seemed to exist. He was guilt stricken and heartbroken – and it showed in his matches and in his face whenever he thought he was alone. _I saw him suffering but I didn't care. All I cared about was having The Great HBK on my arm as my so-called lover. I thought about what it would be like having him in my bed every night – forcing him into sex and ordering him around like a servant. At one point in time, I did have thoughts of what it would be like to have him as a real companion but I knew better. Shawn would never go for someone like me. Those thoughts allowed me to treat him like an animal at first but now…now I can't even bring myself to look at him let alone yell or beat him. I lost myself somewhere during this journey and I don't know where to go from here._ John picked up his glass and downed all of the wine in one go. He placed his head on the table and pretty soon he was fast asleep.

x-x-x

Mark got to the arena early so that he would have time to look around for Adam. He still hadn't forgotten about Adam and he wasn't going to forget until he at least heard his side of the story. Mark lurked around the back entrance to the arena for a while hoping that Adam or one of his sidekicks would pull in but when an hour passed and there was still no Adam, he once again gave up the search.

"There's no fucking way he can hide forever." Mark headed straight back to the locker room where he sat on a bench listening to his I-Pod. A couple of guys like Carlito and Vladamir were changing into their ring attire but they knew better than to mess with the Deadman. Mark knew that his image made him slightly intimidating but he really had no problem with people saying hello. _But maybe it's like Hunter said. I should probably loose the Deadman look and maybe I'll actually get a date every now and then._ Carlito and Vladamir nodded politely before quickly leaving the locker room. Mark couldn't help but to chuckle. These guys amuse me. Am I really that scary? The door of the locker room opened up again and in walked John Morrison. He took off his shades nervously and just stood at the door staring at the floor.

"Uh…can I help you?" Mark asked. "If you need to change then go ahead. I don't bite—

"No, no. It's not that. You don't scare me." John's face immediately went pale after he realized what he'd just said. "Uh…I mean I _am_ afraid of you," he quickly added. "But not like everyone else. I mean, you see…"

"Whoa kid…calm down." Mark pulled out his ear pieces laughing out loud. "You are so paranoid. Seriously. Cut me some slack kid. I'm really not that bad. It'll take more than that to piss me off. Besides, no one on this entire roster should have any reason to fear me. I'm really not that bad of a guy."

"I…I know that," he grumbled. "I just…I didn't mean to insult you." Mark stared at the kid for a second amazed at how humble he seemed.

"Kid, you really are something else. Let's just drop it all together. So why are you here? You needing to change or what?"

"No I…actually I wanted to talk with you." He slowly approached Mark and took a seat on the bench next to him. He was quiet for a long time and at one point Mark didn't think the kid was going to say anything at all. Finally John looked over at him and winced. "Mark, I just…wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"Last week," he mumbled. "I was out of line and I shouldn't have laughed about what happened to Shawn. It kind of bothered me all week and now that I know what REALLY went down, I feel even worse about it." Mark studied the kid for a moment looking for any signs of insincerity but he couldn't find any. Instead, all he could see was a genuinely sorry kid who might even be scared a little. _Maybe my words did get to him last week._

"Its cool kid. Just don't let it happen again," he joked. John looked over at him and the serious look on his face took Mark by surprise.

"It won't. I swear to God it won't."

"I'll hold you to it," he chuckled. "So anything else you wanna get off your chest?" John looked away for a moment staring down at the floor. "Say kid. Don't get all scared on me again. I'm just trying to help. Not many people realize it but an old guy like me doesn't mind chit chatting every now and then. Most of the time I just sit here passing the time by listening to music. I just figured since you're already here we can set out to solve all the problems you might be having. But if you don't wanna talk then it's cool."

"No…actually there is something else."

"Alright then shoot." John looked a bit hesitant to speak so Mark reassured him that everything was going to be okay. "Kid really…who am I gone tell? In case you haven't noticed, I don't have many friends either. That is why I got so upset about Shawn. The fewer friends you have, the easiest it is to appreciate them. Shawn and I have been friends since we got in this business. He watches my back and I look after him. What I'm trying to say is that you can trust me. We're friends now so I'd never put you out like that." John looked over at Mark with shocked expression on his face.

"Friends? You consider me a friend?"

"Well you haven't given me a reason not to…unless there's something you're not telling me," he added.

"No, no. I'm…I'm doing good…I guess. Haven't gotten into any trouble lately," he mumbled.

"Well alright then. So are you going to tell me what's on your mind or—

"I know where Adam is and I wanna take you to him," he blurted out. Mark's jaw just dropped and he didn't know whether to be grateful or slightly concerned.

"John—

"No Mark please. Let me take you to him," he begged. "I had to listen to Hawkins and Ryder on the plane today talk about how they wished they could have been in on the Shawn action. I heard them laughing about his being raped and Adam just sat there like it was a joke." Mark suddenly stood to his feet and started for the door.

"Let's go kid. Take me to him." John hurried past Mark and out the locker room they went. John led Mark to back of the arena and through a door that led to one of the staff break rooms. As soon as he burst through the door, he found Adam sitting in chair reading a magazine. When Adam looked up and saw Mark, his face just drained of all color. He quickly stood to his feet but since he had no where to run, all he could do was stand there while Mark rushed at him pinning him to the wall with his huge hands. He squeezed Adam's neck cutting off as much oxygen as he could get away with before kneeing him in the groin. The blonde coughed and moaned but Mark continued to hold him up.

"Please…Mark…" Mark lifted Adam higher off the ground by the neck and tossed him across the room into one of the tables. Adam's back hit the table hard and he fell backwards groaning from the pain. Mark angrily stormed towards him again ignoring Adam's pleas of forgiveness.

"Kiss my ass Adam. You deserve this beating and you know it. You fucking laughed about something that's far from funny Adam." Mark leaned over and grabbed Adam's shirt, pulling him to his feet. He landed two quick blows to his stomach and when he fell forward, he grabbed him by the head throwing him into the vending machine.

"Please! Please Mark…I'm sorry….I'm so s—

"Tell Shawn you're sorry the next time you see him." Mark lifted Adam's chin up and slapped him hard across the face, cutting his lip and drawing blood. He drew back to hit him again, but Adam's smirk made him stop cold. "What the hell is that all about?" Mark growled. "You think this is funny Adam? This…this is nothing compared to what I really wanna do to you."

"Yeah…yeah it is funny. It's funny that I'm taking the beating that JBL should have gotten. It was _his_ fault all of it happened. _He_ left Shawn alone in that room and I wasn't even the one who raped him. Kurt did yet I'm paying the price for it." Adam cocked his head to the side and noticed that John was standing a few feet away staring at the scene before him with a horrified look on his face. Adam raised his eyebrows and laughed. "I see. So the kid told you where I was hiding. That's okay. I always knew he was soft." Mark drew back and punched Adam as hard as he could drawing more blood from him. Adam's head hit the machine again and for a second Mark thought he'd knocked him out cold. Adam groaned and held his hands up to block his face. "Alright. I'm sorry. You win Mark. Just don't hit me anymore." Mark smirked before punching him one last time in the face sending Adam reeling to the side. Mark hovered over him glaring defiantly.

"THAT was for talking trash about my friend here. Keep Shawn's name out of your fucking mouth and I better not hear tell of you messing with John here or next time I really _will_ hurt you. Oh and give Kurt a message will ya. If I ever see him around his ass belongs to me." Mark looked over at John and nodded. "Let's go kid." John quickly followed Mark out of the room not daring to look back at Adam. He knew that he'd lost Adam as a friend, probably for good now but he hoped it was worth it. He had to admit that he seemed more comfortable with Mark. Maybe it was because Mark seemed to understand him or maybe it was because he admired him. Either way he planned to do whatever it took to keep Mark as a friend because in all honesty, it seemed like Mark was the first real friend he ever had. "Hey kid." John was jarred from his thoughts at the sound of Mark's voice. That was when he realized that they were back in the locker room again. John nervously took a seat next to Mark and remained silent. He had no idea what to say and only hoped that he was doing the right thing by getting himself involved to begin with.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm not usually a violent person but he's been asking for it. Damn prick."

"It's cool."

"No its not cool. When people see me do things like that, it makes them think I'm dangerous. I really didn't hurt him at all kid. I shoved him around a bit and possibly gave him one hell of a headache but I can assure you he'll live."

"No really its….he deserved it."

"Yeah…maybe," Mark groaned. Adam's words were starting to plague his mind and it had him doubting his actions. He ran a hand through his long dark strands cursing himself under his breath. _Maybe I was wrong to beat Adam…_ "He had a point you know? About Layfield. It's really _his_ ass I should be kicking and not Adam."

"But he was there!" John snapped. "He was there and instead of doing the right thing, he let it happen and even laughed about it. It was a cruel thing to do and if you ask me, I say spreading the news is just as bad. I know I'd feel like shit if people were laughing at me behind my back." He placed a hand on Mark's thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze. In return, Mark gave the kid a playful nudge before standing to his feet.

"You're a good kid…and brave," he added. "Not many people would have turned their back on Adam. He may be small but he's got a lot of pull around here."

"Well someone told me that I needed to start standing up to people or else they'd lose respect for me. I don't want that person to look down on me because I've always looked up to him." John stood to his feet and started for the door.

"Hey kid?"

"Yeah?"

"How about we grab a drink later? My treat." John looked somewhat taken back but he nodded anyway.

"Yeah. Of course. I'd…I'd like that. See ya," he grinned. Mark watched the kid leave and when he was gone, Mark released a breath that he didn't know he was holding. The kid's words seemed to strike him in a way he never thought possible. It wasn't uncommon among the younger guys to hear them say things like 'I look up to you' or 'you're my hero' but for some reason when it came from John, it made him feel really good about himself. _I must be trippin hard…_ Mark laughed it off then headed for the ring. For the first time in a long time, he was more excited about the drink than the match.

x-x-x

"I'm going to go ahead and take our things to the car."

"You sure you got it babe?" Hunter asked. Jeff rolled his eyes at his over protective lover.

"I'm not weak ya know. I can handle carrying a few bags. You just hurry and get dressed so we can go. I'm sleepy but I can't sleep unless you're sleeping next to me."

"Alright. I'm hurrying," he laughed. Hunter took one of the shortest showers ever then threw on some jeans and a tee. By the time he headed out of the locker room, most everyone was already gone. He hurried up the eerie hallway way but stopped short when he saw three people talking in hushed tones. It was Hawkins, Ryder and Adam but he could barely see Adam. Hunter walked over to them and was going to talk a little trash until he saw Adam's face. The whole right side of his jaw was swollen, he had a black eye and his bottom lip was cut. He looked a mess. Adam was standing to his feet but if it wasn't for his friends supporting his weight, Hunter was pretty sure Adam would have hit the floor by now.

"Damn Adam. What the hell happen to you? You look like you just had a streetfight and lost."

"Shut the hell up Hunter. Can't you see I'm fucking hurt?"

"Yeah I see," he laughed. "So uh…who'd you piss off this time? You steal somebody's girl? Did you try and fuck with one of Dave's—

"No I didn't," he snapped. "For your information I had a run in with Mark for no reason whatsoever. He just came at me like a mad man for something I didn't do."

"Mark…Mark…Oh yeah. I remember," he laughed. "Yeah I wanted to kick your ass last week but I decided to let Mark do it instead. If you'd stop putting your nose in other people's business and spreading lies about them then maybe you wouldn't end up looking like a punching bag."

"For your information Hunter, I wasn't spreading lies. I was telling the truth. Yeah so maybe I didn't fuck your precious ex lover but I had a front seat for the show."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hunter smirked. "What? Are you trying to tell me that JBL let you watch him fuck his boyfriend?"

"No I'm not," Adam sang.

"I thought so because…well…JBL is a total douche but even I know he'd never let—

"Just goes to show how much YOU know," Adam retorted. "You know nothing Hunter but you know what? I'm glad you don't because I get to be the one to break the news to you."

"Oh please," Hunter smirked. "By _all_ means tell me what I don't know. I'd love to hear more of your lies."

"Shawn…your ex beloved…was raped last week in the back of a bar." At this Hunter couldn't help but to laugh.

"Wow. Adam. You know, you've taken this lying thing to a whole other level. If you're spreading rumors like this then you deserved—

"Yeah whatever Hunter," he scoffed. "You don't have to believe me but I want you to know, Shawn took it like a man. He screamed in pain until I silenced him by putting my dick in his…" He couldn't take it anymore. Hunter grabbed the front of Adam's shirt and shoved him against the wall.

"Bastard! Don't make me finish what Mark started," he growled. "Stop spreading—

"These aren't lies!" Adam snapped. "It's the truth! Just ask JBL. He…he was there."

"JBL…_Layfield_…he was there while his boyfriend was supposedly—

"They had a fight Hunter and John left him alone with me, Glen, and Kurt—

"Angle?"

"Yes Angle!" he snapped irritably. "John told us not to touch him but since John never really means what he says, the guys sort of…I didn't know it was going to go that far but it did and—

"You're not lying to me are you?" Hunter asked. Hunter had done heard enough to realize that Adam couldn't possibly make all of this up. Too many people seemed to know about it and if Mark thought enough to kick Adam's ass then it must be true. _Damn it all. And everyone hid it from me because they knew… _"Are you or are you not lying to me?" His voice was low and dangerous making the very hairs on Adam's neck stand.

"No. It's the truth. Just ask Mark or better yet, ask JBL. It's his fault that it happened. I never would have touched the blonde but since Kurt hates his guts and John treats him like a slave, we…" Hunter stepped away from Adam with look in his eye that made all of them want to hide. Hunter didn't utter a word as he turned to leave. His brain could no longer really form words anyway. Instead, images of a broken, bruised and half dead Layfield danced around in his head feeding…practically _fueling_ his ever growing anger. A sick, sadistic smiled formed across The Game's face. _I can wait a few more days…Keep it together Hunter…_When Hunter got in the limo, his lover couldn't help but notice the change in Hunter's mood. He looked happy but the vibe Jeff was getting said otherwise.

"Baby you alright?" he asked. Hunter kissed his forehead and smiled.

"Sure love. Never better." Jeff leaned his head on Hunter's shoulder but for some reason he wasn't tired anymore. He knew that look on Hunter's face which meant something was seriously wrong. He just hoped that whatever it was it wasn't too serious.


	18. Setting the Stage & A New Deal

_"People think it's holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go."_**~~~~ sadlovequotes/net**

---

Mark freshened up after his match then headed outside the arena. He searched the arena for the kid but he was nowhere to be found. Much to his surprise, the kid was waiting for him outside. He was leaning in front of Mark's SUV with a big grin plastered on his face. He too had changed out of his ring gear and was sporting a nice pair of jeans and a white button down shirt. His shades were covering his eyes and his hair was being whipped by the wind. He looked just like a model and Mark couldn't help but to laugh at the sight of him.

"What? You said I could come for a drink."

"Yeah but you look…never mind," Mark smirked. _He looks like a doll but I'll just keep that to myself… _"Well let's get going. My body's aching and I could use a cold beer."

A few minutes later they were entering a bar. Mark led them to a booth in a corner near the back. John sat across from him looking very eager and happier than he was earlier. The change in his attitude was very apparent which made Mark wonder. Was it because Adam would be off his back? He couldn't be sure so he decided not to dwell on it. He ordered them a couple of cold beers and they started drinking in an awkward silence. Mark's first thought was that he hated awkward silences. Awkward silences led to awkward tension and awkward tension was never a good thing. So he decided to strike up a conversation about the only thing the two had in common…that he knew of.

"So what did you think of Shelton Benjamin tonight? The guy practically outwrestled you all over the place." John's brows wrinkled into a frown but Mark couldn't be sure of everything he was feeling. The key to figuring out how people really feel was to look in their eyes but since John had on his sunglasses, Mark had trouble telling.

"He…he was decent," he shrugged. "He's a really good mat wrestler and has had way more experience than me. Even though I won the match, I still lack the skills to compete on his level without reducing myself to cheap endings."

"Meh I think he's just okay. I honestly think you could be better than him if you just focused on other things besides your looks." John didn't say anything. He only picked up his beer and sipped on it some more once again leaving the air open for another awkward silence. Mark let out a laugh. "Kid, I wasn't trying to insult you. I'm just saying. I was watching the match from the back and you did good out there. You gave him hell and he gave you hell back. But I'm just making an observation. You move around the ring like a younger version of Shawn. You should be running rainbows around that boy."

"Yeah…maybe."

"So you don't think so?"

"Well…I don't know."

"Is your self-esteem that low kid?" John pulled the shades off of his face setting them down on the table. He cut his eyes at the beer then up at Mark.

"Miz…Mike rather. He's all I got. You've been part of the business long enough to know how hard it can be. My family doesn't support wrestling and as you can see, I have very few friends behind the scenes. Miz and I look out for each other, which is why he's always had such a strong influence on me. On screen, it looks like I'm the one in control but it's the very opposite behind the scenes." John let out a laugh. "I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. It's not like things are going to change anytime soon but…I don't know. I guess I felt like telling somebody." He picked up his beer and took another sip. Meanwhile, Mark sipped his beer trying his darndest not to stare at him but it was hard. It wasn't just John's looks that had Mark so interested but it was his everything. Mark was curious about his past and was equally curious about his life now. Just listening to the kid just now brought back memories of his younger years of wrestling. He had very few friends too. In fact, he didn't have any until he met Shawn. Shawn was quite the handful but he was a sweetheart; one of his first friends and he'd never forget that. But even if Mark never would have made friends with Shawn, he was sure he would have been okay. He was always a tough guy. He had a reputation of being a loner which was fine with him. The less people you have in your life the better he thought. People meant worrying all the time. When you have friends you have no choice but to worry about them; to look out for them or care when things got rough. Mark was a caring person but as a young wrestler he didn't need to care. All he wanted was to wrestle. Thoughts of long-lasting bonds didn't mean much to him as a younger wrestler and that's where he differed from John.

John was young and alone but unlike Mark, it really seemed to bother him. Sure he just said that he had Miz, but if Mark was reading into his confession right then it meant that Mike was feeling the same way as John. Both of them were alone in this world doing it big as wrestlers but they felt alone…lost even and it made Mark feel kind of bad. Mark found out the hard way when he watched Hunter take Shawn away from him. Companionship can be a good thing. Having someone you can depend on all the time – and not just as a friend – is one of the best things you can get out of life so he could understand John's feelings all too well. Mark finished his drink, paid the waitress and then they left. They rode along in silence. The only talking they did was when Mark asked John where he was staying for the evening. John had a room with Mike at the same hotel as Mark so it all worked out for the best. When they reached the hotel parking lot Mark noticed John's hesitation to get out.

"You alright kid?"

"My parent's are having their twentieth wedding anniversary. I wasn't invited. They are ashamed of me. A wrestler…and a gay wrestler at that." Mark certainly wasn't expecting that bit of info but rather than show how much it surprised him, he just chuckled.

"I see. So that's what's been bothering you all evening."

"Yeah. I…I know I sound like a baby but sometimes I wish I still had my family." Mark reached over and placed his hand on top of John's. The kid looked over at him with a sad expression on his face.

"That's when you make a new one." They both exited the car and headed up to their rooms. Mark was staying one floor level higher than John so John was the first to exit the elevator. Right before the door could close John paused, holding the door open.

"Say Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I get it. What you meant about starting a new family."

"I'm glad kid," he chuckled.

"Oh and Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it." There was another pause before John spoke again.

"Mark can we…maybe hang out sometime? I mean, I know you're a busy guy but I just thought…you're so easy to talk to and—

"Sure kid. Anytime." The kid's jaw just dropped before he managed to smile.

"Alright. Cool. Yeah. So I'll be seeing ya then."

"Uh kid? If we're going to hang out, don't you reckon you need my number?"

"Oh…right," he laughed. He was nervous. Mark could tell by the way his hands shook as he pulled out his phone.

"Now I'll be expecting a phone call sooner or later," Mark joked.

"Right. I'll…I'll call. Well er…good night Mark." Mark waved goodbye as the elevator doors shut. _Wow. What a night._ His doors opened again and he wasted no time getting to his room. His body allowed him to kick the door shut before he collapsed face down on his bed. His body was sore and his head was starting to hurt. _That kid is going to worry me to death._ Mark's brain was swimming with thoughts – all of them involving his conversations with John.

Their first encounter had been pretty sweet. The kid was scared to death of him but during that meeting Mark couldn't help but take notice of him. Their second encounter did not go over so well because of the situation with Shawn. John knew about it but instead of manning up, he let Adam and Miz influence him like a puppet to join the crowd of rumor hogs. Mark called him out on it and then like magic the kid turned over a new leaf. But now that he knew what he knew about John, Mark regretted ever calling the kid a coward. _He's alone. He's got nobody so quite naturally he'd follow the one person he feels connected to. I can relate to that._ Mark tossed and turned for almost an hour before sleep finally overtook him. The last thing on his mind was a promise to keep an eye on the kid.

x-x-x

When Hunter and Jeff got back to their rooms, Jeff had every intention of asking Hunter what happened but at the last minute he decided against it. Hunter was playing the 'I'm in a good mood' part so well that Jeff just couldn't bring himself to make trouble. But he knew something was wrong. _I want to know what happened but I don't want him to think that I don't trust him…_

"Jeff are you alright?" Jeff was standing just inside the bathroom door staring at a spot on the wall. He was deep in thought and didn't realize that Hunter was watching him.

"Uh…yeah. I'm fine." He managed a fake smile but of course Hunter saw right through it.

"You're lying."

"What makes you think so?" he frowned.

"Because you wouldn't have hesitated. So out with it. No secrets. Tell me what's bothering you." Hunter was lying on the bed in just his boxers playing on his lap top. He closed the computer shut, placing it on the nightstand waiting for Jeff to answer. When he did not answer right away, Hunter motioned for him to join him on the bed. A reluctant Jeff climbed in bed next to his lover. Hunter's arms embraced him and he kissed his forehead. "Come on sweetie. Tell me what's wrong. I won't be able to sleep unless you tell me what I did."

"How do you know you did something?"

"Just a guess," he shrugged.

"Well…I don't know. You tell me."

"What do you mean?"

"What's got you so angry Hunter?" Hunter let out an exasperated sigh. _I knew it was coming. I can't get anything past this little daredevil… He's as 'bout as bad as Shawn._ "And tell the truth. I know you're upset about something because you've been in deep thought typing away on that computer ever since we got back to the hotel. Almost two hours baby so be straight with me."

"It's nothing really. I just e-mailed a couple of the guys and—

"By guys you mean…?"

"Some old friends."

"Why?"

"Well…why not?"

"Hunter stop with the jokes," he snapped. "What is this really about or am I going to hear about it later from some of the guys?" Jeff was starting to get really angry and Hunter knew it was going to get ugly quick if he didn't answer.

"Fine. If you must know then I was checking up on Shawn."

"Oh…well…why the big secret? You know I don't care if you two talk."

"It's nothing like that Jeff. I just…" Jeff pushed away from Hunter.

"You're lying. This probably has something to do with those fucking rumors from last week. Why can't you just let it go and let Mark deal with it? Or better yet, let JBL deal with it? If you get involved it means you're probably going to end up getting hurt or getting in trouble and—

"I don't know if you're the right person to be giving me advice about staying out of trouble." _Oh shit. I didn't mean to say that…_ Jeff's face turned red and his eyes flashed. "Jeff…baby wait. That wasn't meant…"

"That was cold Hunter. So cold," he choked. "I can't stay with you tonight. I'm leaving." Jeff started for the door but Hunter ran after him. He grabbed Jeff from behind and just held the struggling blonde. "Let me go Hunter! It's obvious that—

"I'm sorry Jeff but I have to get involved this time!"

"NO YOU DON'T! ADAM'S JUST—

"THOSE WEREN'T LIES JEFF! THEY WERE THE TRUTH!" Hunter spun Jeff around gripping his shoulders tightly. "Those rumors were only half rumors Jeff. I found out from Adam that Shawn was raped about a week ago in the back of a fucking bar by Kurt, Glen, and Adam. They raped him and they all will pay!" Jeff's face turned to one of mixed terror and confusion.

"Raped?"

"Yes raped! Mark…Mark wouldn't tell me because he knew…but that's not the point. The point is John Layfield left his boyfriend alone to be raped by his friends. That's low even for somebody like him. Now I am head over heels in love with you Jeff but I can't lie to you and say that I don't still have feelings for Shawn. Our friendship…it's deeper than that and as his ex tag team partner and close friend I have to look out for him. The way of the Kliq. I WILL get them back for this Jeff. I'm…I just can't let them get away with this. Not this Jeff. It's too much." Hunter released his grip on Jeff and just stood there silently waiting for his boyfriend to let him have it but it didn't happen. Instead, Jeff pulled his lover into him and just held him.

"I understand Hunter. I do. And even if I didn't want you to get involved I wouldn't be able to stop you so I guess all I can do is just be there for you. Just…just try not to get hurt. I don't know what you have planned and quite frankly I don't wanna know. But I swear to God when this is done, I want you out of it. This is between JBL and Shawn. Both you and I know that the only way Shawn's going to be able to get around this is if he gets rid of John."

"Yeah but that's easier said than done. Shawn's stubborn as hell. But don't worry Jeff. I don't plan on getting my hands too dirty. Now let's get to bed. We have a long flight ahead of us." Hunter ushered his lover back to bed where they curled up together. Jeff fell asleep not too long afterwards while Hunter lay awake. He e-mailed the guys their instructions and he trusted them to act right away. Of course he knew he shouldn't be too worried. After all, never once had they let him down and when it came to Shawn he expected them to work in double time. Shawn was everyone's baby – everyone's pet and they be damned if someone got away with treating him like shit. _All of them better hang on tight. Things are about to get ugly…_

x-x-x

Kevin Nash stood outside the arena leaning back against his car. A few minutes later he was joined by Main Event Mafia members Kurt, Booker and Steve.

"So you guys ready?" Booker asked eagerly.

"Yeah. We're all here so let's get going. It's fucking cold out here!" Kurt exclaimed. Booker and Kurt walked on ahead while Kevin just stayed rooted in his spot. Steve noticed the look on Kevin's face and knew right away that something was up.

"Hey. What's up with you tonight?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. I'm fine," he grinned. "Let's get inside. It's cold out here."

"Yeah. I know. That's what Kurt said."

"Oh."

"Why you say it like that? Did Kurt do something wrong?" Kevin wished he could tell his good friend what was wrong but that wasn't the way they did things. _He'll just find out when it's over._

"Kurt? Do something wrong? Pft. No way. Kurt's gold in everyone's eye. Perfect. Can do no wrong," he laughed before walking on ahead. _Sorry Steve but you can't get involved. Kurt…in due time my friend. In due time. Nobody messes with Shawn and gets away with it. _Kevin's PDA vibrated in his pocket and he knew that his message went through. He waited until Steve got ahead of him before answering.

"Scott? We have a lot to talk about…"

x-x-x

John Bradshaw tossed and turned in his sleep for several hours until he just couldn't take it anymore. He rolled over and flicked on the tiny lamp. _I can't stop thinking about that damn blonde and now I'm losing sleep over him. This has got to stop._ John grabbed his cell phone off of his nightstand and sighed. _I got to get Shawn to see things my way._ John dialed up Shawn's number and patiently waited for him to pick up. He picked up after just three rings.

"He…hello?" His voice was soft and gruff from having been asleep yet it was very erotic. John fought off the shiver that shot through his body then he somehow managed to make himself speak.

"It's me…Uh…John."

"Oh hey there!" John noticed that he sounded happier but he chose to ignore it. This had to be done now or else he might lose himself completely.

"Shawn, I wanted to talk with you about something important."

"Uh…alright," he yawned. "What is it? Do you need something?"

"No. I…I'm fine Shawn. In fact that's kind of what I wanted to speak with you about."

"Alright."

"Yeah uh. I want to renegotiate the terms of the deal we made. I just think that I can make you a better offer."

"Uh…well, I'm fine with our terms now but if you want to change them…" His voice trailed off and both men were silent. _Come on John! You have to do this!_

"Uh…yeah. I…I think this new deal will benefit us best in the long run."

"Okay. Let's hear it."

"I'm offering to pay you all of the money I owe you. Next Sunday is the Royal Rumble and if you help me win the match then you are free to go. You'll never have to worry about anything because your debt will be settled, your mother's center will be covered and your account will be loaded in full."

"Wow. John that's…that's really kind of you, but are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure. Besides, you remember that 'good behavior' clause? I told you that if everything went well then you'd get off early. I always keep my word." There was a long pause before Shawn spoke up again.

"Is that what you want John?" _Oh God…_ John bit down on his bottom lip because at some point during the call, his lip started trembling. _Why does it matter what I want to him? Its things like this that make me so weak for him… _John was about to lose it. He was really about to break but he sucked it up and took a deep breath. _Yes…This is what I want…I will not cry…_

"Yeah…I…I think this is the better deal," he managed.

"Alright. If that's what you want then I'll do it."

"Good. Well uh…good night Shawn."

"Good night." The line went dead and Shawn hung up his phone. He turned out the light and snuggled back underneath the covers covering his face. He tried not to cry but he failed miserably and began sobbing. He knew he should have been happy about the offer but he wasn't. He wasn't happy at all and what was worse he knew he was being selfish. John had done so much for him already so for him to live off of him for another four months would just be greedy and self-centered but he needed John right? After the Rumble, John wouldn't need him anymore and technically Shawn wouldn't need him either. Both will have successfully finished out the terms of their deal and they could both go back to their old lives. John can go back to living life on his own and Shawn will finally be free to do whatever he wanted. To anyone else, this may have been the perfect solution to everything but not to Shawn. Part of Shawn's happiness was making John happy and seeing him smile. _If he wins that match then I'll lose him. I'll lose him forever… But that's the way it has to be. The pain…It seems to hurt worse than ever before right now but I'll live. I'll get through this. I always do._

**_"True love is when you shed a tear and still want him…"_**

AN: The quotes came off a website. Sadlovequotes dot net. We are slowly but surely reaching the end. Can you feel it? BTW, if you have not already added EroSenin'sDeciplesKJT to your alert list, please do. I tend to post stories on that profile as well so you probably want to add it if you haven't already. A Randy Orton/Mike Adamle fic is about to make it's debut on that account so beware. Well...that's all. Review if you want:D And thanks for the love guys. You all are turning JBL into a superstar!


	19. Conflicting Emotions

**AN: This chapter is kind of long but there's a lot going on ya know? I can't leave questions unanswered and so we are setting up for one hell of a Royal Rumble night. But before we can get to the big finish, we have to take care of everything in between. Monday night Raw....not quite there yet but we are on our way. Hope you enjoy the chapter. It was full of emotions all over the place and I am totally emotionally drained. I kid you not. I am tired. Brain hurts and I am....emotionally drained. On a side note, be sure to check out my Mike Adamle/Randy Orton fic if you haven't had the chance. It's titled 'My Obsession' and I'd love to know what you think. When I am done with this story, I am going to pick up with 'Everybody Wants Shawn' and work on the Radamle one so check em out. I'd love to know what you think of the odd pairing. (If you haven't already.) Okay. Well...I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_If I go away  
What would still remain of me?  
The ghost within your eyes?  
The whisper in your sighs?  
You see...Believe  
And I'm always there. _  
**~ by Jon Oliva ~ **

Chris sat in his hotel room waiting. Ever since this past Monday night he couldn't stop thinking about Shawn and JBL. He'd gone over it a thousand times in his brain trying to come up with every possible scenario that could lead Shawn to John but each was as unlikely as the other. He knew that he was obsessing over nothing because after their match at No Mercy, Shawn made it clear that it was over. But still, Chris could not believe that Shawn would just willingly date JBL. There had to be a catch and he was determined to find out what it is. He made a few phone calls and was now waiting. Maybe he couldn't have Shawn for himself but at least he could let him go with a clear conscious once he knew it was all in his head. _Damn. What's taking so long? All I asked was for a few… _His phone rang. _Yes! _

"Hello?"

"Hey Chris. It's me. I got the info that you wanted."

"I knew you would buddy. So what gives? What's Mr. Hitman doing these days?"

"Well according to everyone I've talked to, Bret's just been laying low. He lives at home alone with his wife and their youngest son. He trains his boys and some of their friends in a private facility owned by the Hart family but other than that, nothing seems out of the ordinary."

"Alright. What about his history? You got anything on him that may connect him with Shawn?"

"Uh…nope. Only thing you might find interesting is his huge gambling problem that started late in his career. Looks like from around the time he left Vince to work for Eric. Says here he had some serious problems with the mob in Montreal and Boston but apparently its been taken care of."

"Taken care of? He's been paying the mob?"

"Well I think so. I did some digging and turns out Bret owed them over one million dollars at one point."

"One million dollars! Are you serious?"

"Yep, but he's been paying them back every month since…well, according to this piece of paper, he just made the last payment yesterday."

"Wow. That's..."

"Oh wait. That's not the best part. Says here the payment was for $200,000."

"Wait a second. How do you know?"

"Because it was paid by check. I know a guy who knows a guy whose done some work with checks. He managed to get me the bank records—

"I don't need to know all that," Chris snapped. "In fact, the less I know, the better. So the check. I'm curious about the check. I know I shouldn't be digging into this like that but Bret hasn't worked in years. He might be working now but 200 grand is a lot of fucking money. Where'd he get that money from? Has he been saving it up?"

"I don't know. Maybe but the check…he didn't even write the check. In fact, he didn't even sign off on it."

"Oh. Well, I guess his family's helping him out. Good for them. Damn. And I thought for sure…"

"Wait, Chris. Don't you want to know who signed the check?"

"Not really. It's not important. Anyway, I gotta get going. I'm supposed to meet—

"Layfield Enterprises Chris."

"Wait what?"

"The check…it was sent by Layfield Enterprises." Chris just held the phone in shock. _Layfield Enterprises…_ It took him a moment to process the information before he spoke up again.

"Uh…right. Thanks man. I'll be in touch." Chris snapped his cell shut and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his hands across his face groaning. Layfield Enterprises. There was only one that he knew of and it was owed by the John Bradshaw Layfield. The only question in his mind now is why? Why the hell would one of the most selfish people in the world pay off a debt to the mob for Bret Hart? _I must be missing something here. Maybe…Maybe Bret worked for John at some point. No…No he couldn't have. I don't think Bradshaw even had a company when Bret was around so what the hell? What the hell am I missing?_ Chris's thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of his phone. He looked down but didn't recognize the number. He let it ring. It rang and rang for several seconds until it was pretty obvious they weren't going to give up. Finally he answered it irritably.

"What? Who the hell is this?"

"Hey Chris. How ya doing?" he laughed. Chris recognized the voice and it was definitely someone unexpected.

"How the hell did you get my number?"

"Mark."

"Remind me to kick Mark's ass later. So what do you want? Why the _hell_ are you calling me? Considering our history and some of the bonds we share, I don't think you and I need to be conversing. I hate you. I hate your guts and will probably continue to hate you until the end of time."

"Yeah well the feeling's mutual. But listen Chris, I really need a favor from you. I would ask someone else but you're the only person who could pull this off and right now, the only person I can trust to actually do it."

"A favor? You need a favor from me?" Chris scoffed. "Go fuck yourself. As if I'd help you."

"But you don't even know what the favor is yet," he laughed.

"Yeah laugh all you want big guy but Shawn means more to me than—

"And he means a lot to me too."

"Yeah well I'm sorry if I don't believe you. It's just kind of hard when—

"Look Chris. Shawn and I may not be together anymore but I love him. I love him and I always will but it's just not meant to be with us. We try ya know? We try so hard but we're better friends than lovers. We've both come to terms with that and we're cool. But enough about me and Shawn. This is more important than that."

"Oh really? What can be more important than you and Shawn?"

"JBL and Shawn." Just the mention John Layfield made Chris's insides boil. He not only despised Layfield for what happened to Shawn, but he hated him even more for manipulating him into a relationship. _I have to get to the bottom of this!_ "I know what happened Chris, and I want to help him, but in order for me to do that I'm going to need your help. I know you still care for Shawn. I do too which is why we have to get him away from that creep."

"But what if Shawn really cares for him? How do you know that they aren't in love? You know as well as I do that Shawn's not going to listen to us. Believe me. I've tried." As Chris said the words, he wanted to throw up on the floor. No one in their right mind would fall for John right? That's what he kept telling himself but even now he had to admit that it was a possibility and he hated it.

"Shawn doesn't know what's best for Shawn. He never sees the bad in people. He's always searching for the good and will make anyone fall for him. But not John. John can't have him. I know it's none of our business but it IS our business when Shawn's getting hurt. Now are you going to help me or not?" Chris thought long and hard about everything. Shawn…JBL…Bret… With a sigh he finally answered.

"Talk."

**~x~**

Dave spotted Randy sitting at a table by himself and grinned. He hurried over and took a seat across from him. Randy and Dave made plans the day before to meet today for lunch but judging by the look on Randy's face, he was beginning to think that maybe he should leave.

"Okay. I know I said we'd meet and have a nice lunch but what up man? What's wrong with you? Do I need to leave?"

"No, naw man don't go. I'm hungry and I need food. I just didn't want to eat alone."

"Okay. Well um…I thought Adam and Glen were going to join us today?"

"Glen's probably too chicken shit to come out of his room, especially since Mark's been on the war path lately and Adam's not feeling too good."

"Ahh…tough match the other night?"

"You could say that." The waiter came by to take their orders and returned moments later with their burgers. Both guys ate in silence until Dave just couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright. Look Randy, what's going on with you? I understand that you're upset about something but I don't wanna hang out with you all day if you're going to be like this."

"I told you I'm fine."

"Then what's wrong ace? Look, I know you and I aren't as close as we used to be but we're still friends. We were Evolution once bro. Practically brothers. You know you can tell me anything."

"It's not me Dave. It's Adam. I'm just worried about him that's all."

"He's a tough guy. I'm sure he can handle himself."

"Against people like Mark?" Randy spat. Dave blinked a few times feeling slightly taken back.

"Mark? What does he have to do with Adam?"

"He beat the hell out of him the other night about Shawn."

"Yeah well you knew it was coming Randy. You saw the way he reacted at the gym."

"But Adam had nothing to do with it!" He slammed his fist on the table drawing a few hushed whispers from surrounding tables.

"Get a grip!" Dave hissed.

"I'm sorry. I just…It's not fair ya know? Glen got off—

"Oh yeah right," Dave scoffed. "You really think Mark let Glen off the hook that easily? I'm sure they had a more personal battle about Shawn. And Adam had it coming man. If he would have kept his mouth shut about it then maybe he would have been ignored, but even I have to agree with Mark. Adam spread some serious lies man. I'm not all that close to Shawn but I'd be pissed too if people were spreading lies about me or my friends."

"Yeah but he didn't have to beat him like that man. Especially if Kurt was the one who actually raped him. Adam was just there. That's all I'm saying." Dave reached over and touched his friend's shoulder.

"I understand that you care for Adam Randy but he's got to grow up. It's kind of sad you know. He's the older of the two of you and you've got more sense than him sometimes. But it's over now. Mark's done got his revenge and now everything will go back to normal."

"No it won't."

"Why you say that?"

"Because." Randy shifted nervously in his seat before continuing. "Yeah. This morning Adam got a phone call. Don't know who it was but…they said that he better watch out or he's next."

"Huh? What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know but it really shook him up. He called Glen to see if everything was alright with him but Glen's not answering his phone. He even tried calling Kurt but all he got was his voice mail. I'm…I'm scared for him. And I can't help but wonder if Mark's doing all of this."

"Why would Mark try—

"Because that's what he does Dave! He likes scaring the shit out of people and I don't like it. I'm going to call Mark up and—

"Whoa. Whoa. Kid. Cool it. I…don't think that's such a good idea. You mean well but Mark could kill you. Really. Just…stay out of it alright? You weren't there the night Shawn was raped so you don't know what really happened. It's Adam's word against Shawn's and until we get Shawn's side of the story, we're never going to know for sure who's right in all of this."

"But I'm not going to just sit back and let my boyfriend be terrorized and beaten Dave."

"You don't have to. Just…" Dave let out a frustrated sigh. He really had no idea what to tell Randy. Everyone who knew Adam knew he had a habit of getting into trouble and it was usually because of his mouth. If Dave had to bet money, he'd put it all on Adam as being part of the rape. Why? Because Adam also had a habit of wanting to be part of the in crowd, whoever it may be at the time which was another problem of his. Just when Dave was about to call it a day, Randy's phone rang. Randy looked down to see that it was Adam and he grinned.

"Let me take this. Hello? Baby? What's going on?" Dave sat back and took a breath. It was just the relief he needed…or so he thought. As he watched Randy's face, he noticed that it was no longer happy. In fact, he looked more worried now than he was when they first started eating. "Alright. I'll be there soon. No…no stay in your room. I'll be there in a few. Dave's coming with. Alright. Bye."

"I'm going where? And what was that all about?"

"Something's wrong Dave. Adam just called to tell me that Kurt's in the hospital."

"Kurt…Kurt Angle?"

"Yeah. Says he was beat up after their show last night. Whoever did it fractured a bone in his left arm, cut his lip, broke his nose, and they…they raped him. Adam said some of Kurt's friends found him lying out behind the arena a bloody mess."

"Are you serious!?" Dave hissed.

"Yeah and Adam's scared to death that he's going to be next. Come on. We gotta go." Dave left their bill money on the table then followed Randy out of the diner.

**~~x~~**

When Mark entered the gym, it wasn't hard to spot the kid. He was the only one with perfect abs in the entire gym. Mark laughed a little as he approached his new friend.

"Mark!" John was with Mike and they were taking turns bench pressing some weights.

"Hey John. Mike." He nodded towards them.

"Yeah I hope you don't mind but I thought Mike could use some time outside of the hotel room."

"No it's cool. You don't have to apologize to me. I'm not that bad. Gosh!" he laughed.

"Hey Mark!" Mark turned his head to see Chris hurrying towards him. He was dressed in some tight fitting jeans and a black tank looking very hot. Apparently someone else noticed too because Mark couldn't stop himself from laughing when he saw Mike's face. He was redder than a cherry and seemed to be doing everything possible not to stare. "What the hell's got you so tickled?"

"Oh nothing. So what do you want? You know I don't need to be seen with the likes of you. Someone might think we're friends."

"Oh get over yourself Deadman. Just…I wanna talk to you about some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just…stuff. So let's go somewhere private."

"Is this stuff about Shawn?"

"Maybe."

"Well then you can talk over here. These two already know what's going on – probably more than you right now."

"Uh…I don't know if I should…" Chris cut his eyes to John who nodded his head while Mike just looked absolutely horrified. "Well…alright. So I take it everyone here knows about the rape?"

"Yeah they know and have promised to keep their mouths shut about it. Not everybody knows it was rape and the ones who know something think it was just people spreading lies. Besides, with JBL being Shawn's boyfriend not many people are going to talk about him around John."

"Yeah…maybe. But I think a lot more people know about this rape than you think."

"Why you say that?" Chris ran a hand through his gorgeous blonde hair, hesitating to speak. "Come on Chris. Out with it. I promise you these guys—

"I'm not worried about them right now. I'm kind of worried about Kurt."

"You're worried about that asshole?"

"Yeah man. He…I take it you didn't hear about him. He's in the hospital."

"Oh…really. What happened?"

"Someone kicked his ass last night. Broken nose, fractured bones…they even sealed the deal if you get my drift."

"No way."

"Yeah I know and you know what? I think if pretty boy behind you knows anything of it, he might wanna watch what he says. I talked to Dave not too long ago and Adam's probably next on their hit list then JBL. They're all going to get theirs for what they did to Shawn."

"Yeah well they deserve it. All three of them deserve a great ass whooping though if I were doing the beatings, I'd let Adam go. He took quite the beating from me the other night so he's good now."

"Oh that was you who kicked his ass?"

"Well I was gonna let it go but he kept running his fucking mouth. Plus, he uh…" Mark glanced over at the 'kids' who were now talking amongst themselves going over some match plans. He smiled. "He was bothering those two especially John. I kind of took John under my wing and now he's going to be hanging out with me a lot. Mike too if he wants."

"Well, well now," Chris smirked. "Could it be that the creepy old guy has taken an interest in some kids?"

"Oh shut up," he grumbled. "They're cool. They do what they're told and they're good company."

"Sure they are. Well whatever. They're both cute so I approve."

"Not that I needed your approval."

"I suppose you don't."

"So uh…out of curiosity, why are you telling me all of this?"

"I don't know. I guess I just needed to talk to somebody. Got a lot on my mind and I don't really have someone to talk to."

"I thought you and Cena were buddy buddy now?"

"What?! Hell no! We just both like Shawn. Besides, I can't date someone who loves the same guy as me. It's pathetic. Preposterous. Against everything Chris Jericho stands for."

"Uh…right. Okay. Well…" Mark cleared his throat before chuckling. "Excuse me then. But yeah. Now that you mention it, you and Cena would be a total mismatch. You need someone you can top and Cena's definitely not the guy."

"Wha…what? Are you saying…?"

"I'm just kidding Chris. Say, have you by chance talked with Shawn lately?"

"Not since Monday night and even then it was pretty brief. He had nothing to say to me. Nothing at all and when I asked him about his new boyfriend he practically bit my head off."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's like…I don't know Mark but the way he defended John that night gave me a vibe man. It's like he's starting to care for JBL."

"Well they _are_ in a relationship Chris."

"But that's the point Mark. There whole relationship doesn't make any sense! Shawn _hated_ JBL. I know for a fact that he hated him with a passion and now all of a sudden they're in love? I can't…I can't comprehend…I have to get to the bottom of it."

"Alright. Let me just say this Chris. Here's my two cents worth of advice. You don't have to take it but I'm going to tell you anyway. You love Shawn. I get that. I care for the guy too but we can't control every aspect of his life. Adam got onto me for not beating the hell out of John but if Shawn loves him, don't you think he'd be pissed off at me if I _did_ hurt him? I left John alone because if Shawn doesn't see any wrong in John then as his friends we have to respect that."

"I _do_ respect that Mark. I really do but a part of me can't help but feel that there's something more to their relationship. In fact, I _KNOW_ it is. I just can't put my finger on it yet."

"Whatever you know, or think you know—

"I love him too much to let it go Mark. I'm sorry but I can't let it go. Besides, it's not me Shawn has to worry about anyway. It's Hunter."

"Wait a second. Hunter knows?"

"Yeah. He knows."

"Who the fuck told him?!"

"I…I don't—

"Jesus fucking – do you have any idea how bad this could get?"

"Maybe," he muttered. Mark took a step back to study Chris. _Oh God… _

"Chris…did what happened to Kurt have anything to do with Hunter?" Chris just shrugged.

"Beats me."

"Ahh…I see. Well now this is…wow. Alright then. You don't have to tell me but know this. The next time you talk with Hunter let him know that I understand his feelings completely, but he's going about this the wrong way. Hospitalizing Kurt? Beating him up is one thing but raping and leaving him half-dead is another. God…" Mark lowered his voice so that John and Mike couldn't hear. "Look, I don't know who alls on his hit list but the two guys behind me better not get touched. And if Shawn's starting to care for JBL then Hunter better watch himself. He's going to ruin what friendship he has left with his former lover if he doesn't learn to control his anger."

"Aren't you forgetting something Mark. Shawn was RAPED. JBL left him to get RAPED!"

"But JBL is his boyfriend Chris! Let it go before this gets out of hand!"

"Whatever man. I can't….I gotta go. Just…don't worry about your boys. They're safe but if you want to be on the safe side then I suggest you be at next Monday night's Raw." Chris hurried out of the gym before Mark could make him feel any worse. Chris didn't slow his pace at all until he got to his car. Once inside his vehicle he just stared at the wheel, letting the tears cloud his eyes. He was so torn about the whole issue that it was driving him mad. On one hand, he hated JBL with a passion and like Hunter, would like nothing more than to see him get his ass beat for what happened to Shawn. But then Mark had a point. If Shawn really is starting to care for Jibble, then he'd be hurt to pieces if something bad were to happen to him. "Fuck! Why do I have a fucking conscience all of a sudden!" Chris slammed his fist upon the wheel groaning. He had some decisions to make and he needed to make them fast. He could either help take down JBL Monday night or he could let it go like Mark said. _But what if I'm right? Nobody knows about Bret's debt except me, so Mark couldn't possibly understand why I need to pursue this. Yes…I…I have to go through with this. I have to pursue this until the truth comes out. The whole truth. No matter what._

**~xx~**

John was not having a good week at all and he was pretty sure it had to do with leaving Shawn behind. As he leaned back in his recliner chair trying to catch up on one of his favorite crime novels, he kept bluring the words together._ Damn it. I miss that man._ John closed his book and just held it across his chest. As he closed his eyes, he started remembering how nice Shawn smelled whenever they slept together. Or how nice Shawn looked in the white suit that he gave him. And his smile…The smile that Shawn gave him when they went out for shakes. _I will miss that smile. I highly doubt anyone else will ever smile at me like that again._ John let out a sigh. He placed his book on the table so that he could take a nap but the phone in his lap started vibrating. He looked down and realized that it was a number he didn't recognize but decided to answer anyway just in case it was important business.

"Layfield here."

"John! I've been looking for you." John didn't recognize the smooth voice on the other end which kind of frightened him.

"Uh…do I know you?" he frowned.

"Yeah ya do but there's no need for introductions. I just called to let you know that wherever you are, you might wanna stay there until Monday night. In fact, I probably wouldn't show up at the arena Monday night."

"Now why on earth would I do that?" _Who the fuck does this guy think he is?_

"Well you don't want what happened to Kurt to happen to you do you?"

"Huh? Kurt? What about Kurt?" John was now really afraid and the fact that this person knew Kurt only made it worse.

"Oh you didn't know?" The voice laughed. "Wow. You really are a recluse."

"Get to the point hotshot!" he snapped.

"Temper, temper John. Let's see…oh yeah. So Kurt's in the hospital and you're next on the list."

"Hospital. For what?"

"For raping Shawn." John almost dropped the phone out of his hand he was shaking so bad. _Oh my God…This is…this is bad…_ "John? Are you still there?" John somehow managed to find his voice but he was scared to death now. More than ever.

"Yeah. I'm here."

"Oh good. Well um…just thought I'd give you the heads up. Watch yourself John. You let this happen and now we're coming for you." The line suddenly went dead and John felt his body turn cold. He had no idea who that was on the line and what was worse he had no way of narrowing down the suspects. By now, everyone and there mama probably knew about the rape which meant it could have been anybody_. God what am I going to do? I can't just hide from nobody. Dammit!_ John picked up his phone again and dialed Kurt's cell. He let it ring several times until he managed to get Kurt's voice mail. _Dammit! _John leaned back in his chair, biting his lip nervously. _Is it a joke? Is Chris or any of the others trying to scare me? I don't know. I just don't know. But Shawn…Shawn has a few good friends but would any of them try to kill me over something I didn't do._

John buried his face in the palm of his hands groaning. He never meant for anything bad to happen to Shawn. In fact, everyday he was paying the price for that rape. It hurt him so much and the guilt started eating away at him the moment he saw Shawn lying in that pool of semen. _The look on his face, as if he was disgusted with me. I never want to see that look on his face again. God. Maybe…maybe I deserve this. After all, I did leave him alone. I never thought they'd rape him but… I can't run from this. I have to take responsibility for this. It's the least I can do for him. He's been good to me. I owe him this much. But first… _John picked up his cell for one last time to dial a number that still wasn't too familiar to him, but a number he would miss dialing. He picked up after only two rings this time.

"Hello?"

"Hey Shawn. It's me John."

"Hey. How are you?"

"I'm…doing alright."

"John?"

"Hn?"

"What's wrong?" His voice was low and soothing, making John's heart pound rapidly.

"Nothing. I just…I wanted to clear the air about a few things in case…I know you'll pull through for me on Sunday. You've never let me down before."

"You do know we have to do the contract signing Monday night right?" His voice was a little more lighthearted. He had sensed John's sadness in his voice and he wanted to make him happy; lighten the mood so to speak.

"Yeah I know but…I we won't get to talk much after the show. So uh…just hear me out."

"Alright."

"I don't know if you still think about that night…at the bar. Well, I'm sure you do," he stammered. "I suppose something like that would be hard to forget."

"Yeah it is."

"Shawn I…I want you to know that I honestly had no idea that they would go that far. I figured they would try you. Maybe tease you a bit but I never imagined they would touch you like that." John's voice was starting to crack which had him doubting that he would be able to finish his apology. He didn't want to start crying over the phone because Shawn would know how he really felt about him and he didn't need to know. He could never know because it wasn't right. Shawn was too perfect for him and he had to let him go. This was only right after everything that's happened.

"John…"

"No Shawn I need to get this out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

"John please…You don't have to—

"Yes I do Shawn! If I hadn't left you alone none of this would have happened. No. Scratch that. If I never would have forced you into signing those papers, you wouldn't be in this position—

"John you didn't force me to sign anything. I signed of my own free will!"

"But I did. I practically used guilt to get you to sign those papers just so I could have you on my arm. My own selfish desires…" John bit down hard on his lip. _Don't cry Layfield. Do NOT cry. Pull yourself together!_

"John…" Shawn's voice came off as a low whisper sending shudders through John's body. "I never blamed you for that night and I never will." John could have cried right then and there but his stubbornness held him together.

"Shawn I need you to do your part Sunday. Do what you promised me and you never have to see me again. I'll be out of your life for good." There was that same awkward pause from the night before that had John trembling with fear. _What is he thinking? I hope he's not having second thoughts. I got to get him out of my life to protect him from me and from others. He deserves better and I will not tell him. I'll never tell him how I feel…_

"I'm a selfish person John. A really selfish person," he choked. "I…you didn't have to apologize to me because you have been nothing but kind to me since the incident. But since we're coming clean about things I have one I need to get off my chest. This Sunday…I'm going to do what you told me to do because I made you a promise. I told you that I wanted to see you smile…to make you happy and if winning that belt is what truly makes you happy then I'm going to put my selfish desires aside and win it for you. That is my promise to you John. I…I have to go." Shawn hung up the phone before he started sobbing again.

This was really starting to take a toll on him and talking with John, just hearing his voice just now only made it worse. Shawn's phone fell to the floor. He reached down to pick it up but then paused. The bracelet that John gave him was still on his wrist which kind of made him laugh a little. To John it probably seemed like a tool…a collar even to show proof of ownership. Even that thought made Shawn laugh. It was probably true though. John more than likely gave Shawn the bracelet just to show that Shawn 'belonged to him', like a dog wears a collar. _But I kind of like it. Being owned. I guess after Sunday I'll have no reason to wear it anymore._ Shawn picked up his phone and sighed. It was going to be a hell of a week next week. He just hoped he had the strength to survive it.


	20. Raw Is War Part I

_"There are three kinds of love, - unselfish, mutual, and selfish. The unselfish love is of the highest kind. The lover only minds the welfare of the beloved and does not care for his own sufferings. In mutual love the lover not only wants the happiness of his beloved but has an eye towards his own happiness also. It is middling. The selfish love is the lowest. It only looks towards its own happiness, no matter whether the beloved suffers weal or woe."_

**--Sri Ramakrishna **

**~~XX~~**

"Baby, are you alright?" Dave closed the door behind them, watching as Randy pulled Adam into a warm embrace.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." He pulled away from his lover taking a seat on the foot of the bed where he was joined shortly by his lover. Dave leaned back against the door with his arms folded across his chest.

"But you look scared to death Adam. Who called you and told you about Kurt?" Adam shook his head furiously.

"I…I don't know. That's what's so freaky about all of this!" He stood to his feet and began pacing the room. His lover could only watch in vain as he had no idea what to do or say to make Adam feel better.

"Adam, you couldn't tell _at all_ who the voice was?" Dave asked. "I mean really, how many people could possibly know about you being involved in the rape?" Adam looked up at him with a guilty look on his face, averting his eyes to the floor. Dave let out dry laugh throwing his hands in the air. "Wow Adam. Just wow. One of the days you're going to learn to keep your fucking mouth shut about other people."

"Hey, lay off him Dave. Can't you see he's scared!" Randy stood to his feet, defending his lover but Dave wasn't at all impressed. In fact, a part of Dave secretly felt like Adam was getting what he deserved but he'd never say that out loud because of Randy.

"Alright. Fine. I'm sorry Randy. I'm just…I'm just starting to get annoyed with all of it right now. Everyone is all up in everyone else's business, gossiping and spreading lies which, in turn, have created several problems that could have been avoided."

"I…I know that Dave but…I mean, I've already apologized for the mistake I made. I should have left the room that night when it happened but I didn't and it was a mistake. But you know what?" he stammered. "I…I have been paying for it every night since then." Adam was rubbing his hands together, scrubbing his knuckles in his panic.

"Hey. Baby take a seat and—

"No. I can't…I…I have to move around or else I'm going to lose my fucking mind! I…I'm sorry about what happened to Shawn and I know what happened to him was bad but…to rape another person and then beat them? That's just…Mark…Mark could have…but he didn't."

"Wait what? You think Mark did this?" Randy asked. He cut Dave an evil glare but the big man only shrugged.

"I still don't think Mark would stoop that low," Dave said softly.

"I…I know that!" Adam snapped. "Oh…damn…Dave I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap your head off. Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"Calm down Adam! Nothing is going to happen to you. We're here. Dave and I are here," he reassured. "We will not leave you until all of this gets taken care of."

"Eh? Now wait a second Randy, I never said I was going to be your bodyguard! I have a life you know. Not my fault he can't keep his mouth shut. Besides, you and I are both on Raw. He's on Smackdown which means we can't watch over him anyway."

"Oh…right. I forgot." Randy looked down at his watch and frowned. "We need to be in Cleveland by Sunday so we _could_ stay here for another few days. Leave for Cleveland by plane Saturday afternoon and have all day Sunday to rest. What do you think Dave?"

"I don't really care at this point. I just know that I'm not rooming with you two for the next five days all because of some phone call. First of all, do you KNOW for sure that Kurt's in the hospital?"

"He's not answering his phone and I talked to Glen this morning. Glen's also been trying to reach him but no answer."

"Well what about John? Have you tried calling him?"

"No. I…I haven't spoken with John since that night in the bar."

"Oh fuck it. I can't deal with anymore drama. Give me Jibble's number. I'll call him up." Adam just tossed Dave his phone. Dave scrolled through the numbers until he found Layfield's number. "Ahh…I'm calling now." Dave dialed his number and waited. The phone rang several times before John finally answered.

"What?" he grumbled.

"John…It's Dave."

"What the hell do you want? And why do you have Adam's phone?"

"Whoa. Easy John. I was calling to confirm a rumor."

"If it's about Shawn then you should already know."

"Actually it's about Kurt."

"What about him? I haven't talked to him in almost two weeks."

"Oh. Well…uh…I guess you don't know then."

"Know what? About the rape?"

"Oh so you know already?"

"Of course I know," he snapped.

"Ouch. Sorry Layfield. I didn't mean to touch a nerve. We all know how much Kurt means to you and all but that's no reason to bite my damn head off. Besides, I was also calling to check up on you. I can't stand you and all but I'd never wish for anything _that _bad to happen to you."

"What gave you the idea that I was in danger?"

"Well you WERE there when Shawn was raped so I'm just assuming that you got a phone call too from some mysterious person threatening to kick your ass." The line was dead silent for a long time and Dave thought John had hung up on him until he heard him sigh.

"Yeah I got one," he said finally. "So Adam…is he alright?" Dave was shocked as hell by the question. There was a hint of genuine concern in JBL's voice, concern that Dave just wasn't quite sure about.

"Uh…yeah he…he's a bit shaken up but he's fine. Mark kicked his ass the other night so I highly doubt Mark's the one doing all the spooky phone calls. You got any ideas?"

"No, I have no idea who it could be but…I don't think Adam's gotta worry too much. They pretty much told me that I'm next on their hit list."

"What did they say to you? Did they mention Adam?"

"No, Adam wasn't mentioned at all. They uh…" He laughed. "They told me I better stay at home this week but I can't. I can't and I won't. I'm not going to let these guys scare me out of a job. Plus…I kind of deserve whatever they dish out anyway." Again, Dave's jaw dropped which made the couple on the bed stare at him curiously. Randy waved his hands wildly, mouthing for Dave to let him in on the conversation but Dave ignored him. _John's acting weird…It's like he actually cares about what happened but is it possible for someone like him to have a heart? I need to find out what I can while he's like this._

"You think you deserve to be beaten and raped? That doesn't sound like you at all John."

"Yeah well maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do Dave. I know I'm one of the most hated people in the locker rooms, especially right now but I give you my word that what happened to Shawn was an accident on my part. I never intended for something like that to happen and if I could do it over again, I never would have made that deal with him. He's…he's a great guy and deserves better."

"Deal? What kind of deal John?" _Oh man! This could be the key to ending all of this…_

"It's nothing. Just…I have to go now. Give Adam my regards." The line went dead and Dave just stood there mulling over John's words. _Deal with Shawn? But what's he mean by this? He made a deal…Was it sex? But sex for what? Why would Shawn need to make a deal with JBL? This is…_

"YOO HOO! DAVE!" Dave jumped, dropping the phone to the floor. He picked up the phone and winced. "Sorry guys. I'm…I'm sorry. I was just…thinking."

"Yeah yeah we get that," Adam said hurriedly. "But what did he say?"

"Something about a deal he made with Shawn. Do you know anything about it Adam?" Adam wrinkled his brow searching for anything pertained to a deal.

"Well…John did say Shawn was working for him but I have no idea what he is doing. I think if they made a deal then it may have something to do with their current storyline. John wants to defend the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania and I'm certain that their 'deal' has something to do with that but…" He hesitated.

"But what?" Dave urged.

"I don't know how to explain it. John and Shawn are in a relationship but that night at the bar I got the feeling it was a bit one-sided. Shawn cringed when John put his arm around him."

"Yeah but Randy you were there that night in the hall when John grabbed Shawn and slammed him into that wall right?" Randy shook his head. "Oh damn. Well apparently Cena and Shawn were supposed to hook up but he decided to choose John over him. Cena got pissed off and pulled Shawn into a kiss and when JBL saw them, he freaked the hell out! He grabbed Shawn by the hair and even called Shawn his 'property'. I knew something was up but I mean Shawn's been with him for a while now. It must not be all bad if he's still with the guy."

"Yeah but you guys don't know John like I know him," Adam said. "John has always been able to manipulate people into getting what he wants. I'm not saying that's how he got Shawn but John tends to prey on the weak and when you really think about it, Shawn wasn't exactly his happiest when he hooked up with Layfield."

"Yeah, I have to agree. Shawn was all alone without Cena and even though Shawn pretended to be annoyed by the kid, Cena was good to him," Randy noted.

"Well we can't sit around here speculating all day. We could but then it's really not going to do us any good. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what we think because it's ultimately Shawn's decision whether or not he stays with Jibble. In the meantime, I'll room with you guys tonight but then I am catching the first plane out of here in the morning. I trust JBL for some…odd reason and he says Adam's in the clear."

"That's cool Dave and thanks man. I really appreciate it," Adam said weakly. "I swear to you when this is all over I'm going to keep my mouth shut."

"No you won't but hopefully you'll pick and choose your targets wisely next time," Randy laughed.

"So do you guys think we should give Shawn a call?" Adam asked.

"Hell no!" Dave spat. "None of us in this room are good friends with him so he'll probably get suspicious. Besides, I get the feeling that everything's going to come out Monday night anyway. Until then, let's just lay low and chill out." _For now, we can only wait…_

**x-x-x**

The rest of the week seemed to fly by despite all the uneasiness in the air. When Monday night finally rolled around, everyone backstage could tell that there was an eerie mood in the air. Shawn immediately sensed the weird vibe and decided to escape to John's private locker room to drown out the eeriness with his shuffle mix. He made himself comfortable on a bench by laying down with a blindfold over his eyes and his I-pod blasting. Even though the music and blindfold took him away from the outside world, neither could do anything for his thoughts. Shawn hadn't talk to John since his heartfelt apology over the phone days ago.

During the week, Shawn picked up his phone several times to call John but at the very last second, he would come to his senses. Talking to John over the phone only made his conflicting feelings about Sunday worsen. A part of him knew that if he somehow managed to get John on the phone then maybe he could talk John into letting him stay with him for another three months. Selfish, maybe but Shawn didn't care. The greedy, selfish part of him wanted nothing more than to act on the feelings he felt towards John. He wanted to sit him down and make him listen – make him understand that someone cares for him and maybe even show him physically but he couldn't. He just couldn't do it because the selfless part of him wanted more than ever to make John happy. _John's happiness depends on next Sunday. I have to go through with this. If I can make it through tonight then Sunday won't be a problem…_

~x-x-x~

When JBL finally arrived at the arena, he immediately wished he would have stayed at home. He got out of his limo and noticed that a lot of people were staring at him curiously while talking in hushed tones. _Great. Just great. What a way to start the night._ John ignored them and headed straight for his private locker room. Since tonight was the contract signing, he was given his own dressing room for promo purposes and it couldn't have been timed any better. _Perfect. At least I don't have to worry about people staring at me all evening. I've been on edge enough. I really don't think my nerves can handle it anymore…_ John entered the room and made sure to lock it behind him. Before he could round the corner, he heard sounds…like someone was crying.

He dropped his bags then quietly approached the sound. What he found made his heart soar and sink at the same time. It was Shawn, the object of his deepest desires, lying on the bench sobbing. John placed his hat on a shelf and rid himself of his jacket. He slowly approached the weeping blonde, his body pulling him like a magnet towards him. Not only that but he couldn't help but want him. To touch him. To get near him one more time before he had to release him for good. _I shouldn't want to but I do…I want to feel him…I need to…just one last time but… _John kneeled down in front of him. He pulled the earplugs out of his ear startling the blonde.

"It's okay kitten. It's just me," he whispered. John placed his shuffle on the floor before carefully moving to raise the blindfold. When his hands first made contact with Shawn's skin, his hands started shaking. Just the touch of Shawn's skin made him more than aware of his feelings for him. _Breathe John…Just breath…_ He slowly lifted the blindfold off of Shawn's eyes and met the saddest pair of flooded eyes he'd ever seen. "Oh…God Shawn, what's wrong?" Shawn sat up dropping his legs to the floor. John placed his hands on Shawn's knees looking up into the blonde's eyes. A mistake. It was always a mistake looking into those blue jewels but he couldn't help it this time. He wanted to look at Shawn, to take him all in because only in his dreams would he ever have Shawn and only in his memories could he touch Shawn again.

"I'm sorry John. I'm…I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"For this." Shawn grabbed John's face pressing his lips to his in a fiery kiss. John's accidental moan of approval allowed Shawn's tongue entry into his mouth where he furiously fought to explore every inch of it. Shawn's kiss made John's head spin and he felt himself giving into the passion.

"Mn…God Shawn…" John was suddenly forced hard back onto the floor. He ignored the pain that shot through his head as Shawn quickly topped him, only tearing his lips away to catch his breath. Shawn found his lips again while his hands frantically explored John's body. His hands caressed and squeezed at John's sides begging for the right to touch bare flesh. Shawn was suddenly flipped over on his back and John immediately attacked his lips with a crushing kiss.

"Please…John…touch me..." Shawn guided John's hands down his sides and under the tight fitting shirt he was wearing. John ghosted his hand over Shawn's stomach forcing the blonde to arch into his touch. John felt himself getting aroused and it wasn't until he felt Shawn wriggle underneath him touching his member that he snapped out of his trance. He quickly rolled off of Shawn and just sat there staring at the floor. _I want him…I want him so bad but I can't. I just can't allow myself to be swept away like this. _John heard the door slam shut and he knew that Shawn had left him alone. _God this fucking hurts! I want to cry…I want to…I need to let it out but I fear I may never stop crying if I start…_ John somehow willed himself to get up off the floor. He took a few minutes to get himself back together, straightened up his clothes again and then sat down on the bench. He wanted to be alone until it was time for his segment with Shawn and Cena. After all, it was for the best.

x-x-x

Chris Jericho sipped on his bottle of water while he waited for any signs of Shawn. He was one of the first to the arena but ended up leaving because of the tension in the air. Even though he was certain no one knew what was about to go down, there was still no denying the awkward tension in the air. It was as if people sensed that tonight was going to be grim. Of course, Chris wasn't exactly sure if the night was going to be grim but he knew that after tonight, things would certainly be different around here. Chris finally spotted Shawn after a door slam echoed through the hall. Shawn was standing outside JBL's dressing room, his face red as a pepper. Chris needed to get to Shawn so that he could ask him some questions about Bret but from the looks of it, now was not the time. _Shawn will never give me the time of day in this kind of mood so I'll have to trap him later…_

"Hey Chris. What's on your mind?" Cena moved beside him and immediately spotted Shawn. "Oh, I see."

"What do you want?"

"Nothing. I just…wow. He looks upset about something. I wonder—

"I don't think now's a good time to bother him Cena. I'm pretty sure he'll snap your head off."

"You seem to think that I give a damn. He's hurting about something and I'm about to go and find out what it is."

"Good luck," Chris muttered. Cena hurried up the hall, sneaking up behind the blonde grabbing his waist.

"Hey!"

"It's me Shawn." Shawn quickly spun around to face a very concerned ex-tag partner. Shawn rolled his eyes.

"What Cena?" Cena looked hurt, so much so that Shawn thought he was going to start crying but he didn't. Instead he grabbed him pulling him into a hug. "Cena stop! I don't need a hug!"

"I don't care. I love you and I want to know what's bothering you."

"Nothing. You can't help me anyway so just go!" He shoved Cena away forcefully, glaring at the younger man. _I can't…you can't still love me anymore Cena. I can't…I don't have the strength to deal with this right now!_ Shawn knew he was being mean but right now he didn't care. He couldn't care. Care went out the window as soon as his lips touched JBL's and now he was hurting more than ever before. Cena loved him. That he was sure of but his feelings for Cena had somehow become dormant within the last couple of weeks making it hard to really care about _his _feelings right now. Besides, life wasn't fair and if he had to suffer tonight it was only fitting to make everyone else suffer as well. Selfish? Yes but that's how he felt right now.

"Shawn…Shawn I…did I do something wrong?" Cena's voice was filled with hurt but Shawn ignored it.

"No. Cena just go. I can't deal with you right now on top of all the other things I have to deal with." He was getting annoyed.

"Then let me help you!" he pleaded. "I made a promise a while back to always be there for you. If…if you don't love me anymore then alright. I get it. You don't love me."

"John—

"But at least let me be your friend! God Shawn…anyone whose got two eyes can clearly see that you're fucking hurting but unlike the rest of them, I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life. I just…" He pushed Shawn against the wall. Gripping his shoulders he spoke directly to him softly. "I just want to love you in the way that a friend loves his best friend. Whether you love me back or not, my feelings for you will remain the same no matter what. So just…please…tell me what to do and I'll do it." That did it for Shawn. He was now at his breaking point for the evening and everyone was about to know it.

"ALRIGHT! FINE!" he yelled. "You wanna know what you can do for me?"

"Yes!"

"Throw the fucking match on Sunday John. Lay down for JBL so he can go to Wrestlemania as champ." He had blurted it out without even thinking but it was too late now. He had said the words that plagued his mind for days and it was too late to take them back.

"Wha…what?" Cena was stunned.

"You heard me!" he snapped. John looked at his friend, his eyebrows wrinkled in disbelief.

"You want me to throw the match Sunday so that douche bag can wear my belt to Mania? Are you kidding me?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding you? Oh give me a break John," he growled. "You know full well that there's no way in _hell _JBL's going to be able to beat you at the Rumble. You're too quick for him so I'm asking you to throw the match. Let him win it and cash in your rematch clause at Mania. You can win it back there." John stared at his love for several seconds searching his eyes for any signs – any hints that he might be playing but Shawn was serious. He was dead serious.

"I…you're asking a lot of me ya know? I've never once in my life thrown a match and to lose my title to JBL after beating the likes of you Shawn…that's…"

"I know but you asked. Don't offer to do something if you're going to back out." _It doesn't matter. I'll just kick your head off Sunday and make you lose it anyway._ "Just. You know what? Forget it." He threw his hands up in defeat. "Just forget I even asked."

"I never said I wouldn't do it Shawn."

"Whatever Cena. I'm leaving."

"I'll do it for you. I'll do anything you want me to because I love you but only if it's what you really want." Shawn stared at Cena in disbelief.

"I said forget it—

"Will it make you happy Shawn? Will seeing your current boyfriend live out his Wrestlemania dream make you happy?" The question rang in his head and ventured all the way through his body with a scary familiarity that made him shudder.

"_**If I really get you to Wrestlemania as champ, will that make you happy?" **_

"_**Wow. Shawn I—**_

"_**Will it John? Please. I really wanna know."**_

"_**I…I suppose it would but Shawn—**_

"_**Done. I'll get you to Mania as champ."**_

That conversation led to an unwanted phone call about the changes to the deal; changes that he had no choice but to accept if he wanted to keep his promise to John.

"…_**is that what you want John?"**_

_I…I want to make him happy. I can't go back on my word now…_

"Yes John. That's…I want this for him." Cena leaned forward and took his lips for a tiny kiss.

"Then I'll do it," he whispered. With one last hurt and lingering glance, Cena headed back up the hall leaving an even more conflicted Shawn behind him.


	21. Raw is War Part II

_"There are three kinds of love, - unselfish, mutual, and selfish. The unselfish love is of the highest kind. The lover only minds the welfare of the beloved and does not care for his own sufferings. In mutual love the lover not only wants the happiness of his beloved but has an eye towards his own happiness also. It is middling. The selfish love is the lowest. It only looks towards its own happiness, no matter whether the beloved suffers weal or woe."_** --Sri Ramakrishna **

**~xx~**

When Cena finally made his way back up the hall to join him, Chris could only shake his head. "You're smooth Cena. Real smooth. Did you get him to talk? I heard you guys yelling for a minute but I couldn't quite catch the conversation." Cena didn't even entertain Chris' joke. The only thing on his mind was a question in the form of one word – how? Just how the hell did JBL do it he wondered? _This is crazy…I can't believe it but Chris was right…_ "John!"

"What Chris?"

"Well? Say something! What's wrong with Shawn?"

"Nothing. He's just being Shawn I guess," he answered flatly.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means Chris…" Cena grabbed the bottle of water out of his hand and downed the last of it in one go. He tossed the bottle to the side then forced a smile. "It means that Shawn is _in love_ with his boyfriend. He wants to make him _happy_ and is willing to do _whatever_ it takes," he mocked. "You were right Chris. You were fucking right and I hate you right now." His voice cracked and that's when Chris knew Cena was serious.

"No way. No fucking way. How do you-?"

"I gotta get to the ring Chris. Later." Cena hoisted his belt over his shoulder as he started the long trek to the curtain. As Chris watched him walk off a part of him felt bad for Cena. It was no secret to the locker room that Cena had mad love for Shawn. At first it seemed like a silly obsession from a boy with a high school crush but things changed so much between them as time progressed. When they hooked up as a tag team, magic was created. Even on screen everyone could tell that it was pure, honest to God love between the two of them. _How quickly things can change with just a blink of an eye…_ Chris looked down at the vibrating phone on his side frowning.

"What? I know you're not here already. Shawn's in the ring right now with John and…John so it'll be a while before anything can go down."

"I know. I was just checking in. Making sure you're not going to back out now." Chris sighed.

"No, I'm not backing out. I want Shawn away from that loser as much as you do but..." He paused.

"But what?"

"What if we're wrong about him? What if Shawn really does love John?" _What if Cena's right? Shawn…I don't want to do anything to hurt him more. It will just make things worse between us._

"We've already been through this Chris. There's no fucking way Shawn's in love with JBL and if he is then too bad. As for John, I don't think he knows what love is."

"I didn't either until I fell in love with Shawn."

"Touché," he laughed. "But it's not enough to get Jibble off the hook. Just do your job alright?"

"Yeah." Chris hung up the phone pushing back the doubts that were surfacing. Now was not the time to be having doubts. _Tonight John Layfield is going to pay for everything._ Chris turned to leave when he bumped into somebody. He stumbled backwards cursing out loud angrily.

"Jesus can't you move the fuck – Adam? Dave…Randy?"

"Yeah I know. Quite the odd group hanging together, but your eyes deceive you not," Adam grinned. "So tell me about that phone call. What are you not backing out of?"

"That's none of your business and…wait a second. Why the hell are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be serving time at home? I heard you were on house arrest because you're afraid big bad Mark is going to kick your ass." Adam stood toe to toe with Chris glaring down at him.

"I ain't afraid of nobody," he growled.

"Let it go." Dave pulled Adam away and stepped in front of him. "If you must know Chris, I'm acting as Adam's bodyguard for the night. His boyfriend Randy's scared that somebody might be after Adam now that Kurt's in the hospital."

"Kurt? Kurt Angle's in the hospital?"

"Yeah—

"Why? For what? Who did it? And—

"Whoa! Hey calm down Chris. One question at a time," Randy chuckled. "I am quite surprised to learn that the mouth of the locker room hasn't heard. He's been in there for a few days now. Got beat pretty bad too."

"And raped. Don't forget rape," Adam chimed in.

"Wow. I…I hadn't heard. Guess I've been too busy with my own diabolical plans that I failed to communicate with the outside world. Any idea who did it?"

"Nope. Not a clue," Dave answered. "But there was some talk of it being Mark." Chris shook his head.

"Naa. Not Mark's style. The Deadman's a lot of things but a potential rapist isn't one of them. No…this…" _This actually has Hunter written all over it but would he really rape someone for the sake of Shawn?_

"You have any ideas Chris?"

"Huh? What?" He scoffed. "Dave, do I look like the type of person who hangs out with rapists? Of course not! I have no idea and to be perfectly honest with you, I'd rather not know. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do." Chris left them behind fuming as he headed towards the locker room.

**~xx~**

John made sure to let Shawn walk on up the ramp ahead of him. They just taped their last segment together until Sunday when they would tape one more then have the actual championship match with Cena. Shawn did a good job during their segment; he did it so well that John was sure Shawn was channeling real anger towards him, but who could blame him? As for Cena, well…John wasn't sure what to make of it. John noticed that Cena deviated from the actual script a little bit, adding his own flavor to it. _"…you're not JBL's puppet…Shawn, we all love you…"_ It was like he was reaching out to Shawn as if he was feeling threatened by him - John. JBL. The thought of anyone feeling threatened by him normally made him smile but not today. Today it only made him feel worse.

Just the fact that someone like Cena could feel threatened by him because of Shawn just made John want Shawn even more. Selfish? Probably but John knew he was selfish. Always have been until now. _Shawn's changed me in ways I never thought possible_. John didn't even realize he was back behind the curtain until he almost ran into a wall. He managed to stop himself before he could make impact and just shook his head. _I need to get out of here before I die of an accidental suicide. Then again, death might be the better deal at this point in my life… _John paused at his private locker room listening intently for any signs of life inside. After a minute of waiting he decided to suck it up and just go on inside. Much to his surprise and dismay, Shawn was not inside. All of his stuff was there but not his body. _As much as I want to see him again I'm glad he's somewhere else. Will make leaving him that much easier._ John closed his eyes taking long, deep breaths. Thoughts from earlier were pouring through his head. The image of Shawn being pinned down to the floor, their erections touching while he sucked on those tasty lips… John cursed under his breath. _Get a grip John. It's over._ John grabbed his bags and headed straight out the door of the arena.

John barely had time to get both feet out of the door when he felt himself being hurled straight forward into something hard. His eyes instinctively shut in a vain attempt to ease the pain. There were sounds of glass shattering around him, but before he could register anything else he was forced to cry out in pain after something hard hit his back. John slumped over willing his body to fall down but he was being held up by something. He managed to open peel his eyes open only to find that he was actually looking into the interior of a car. _I…I've been tossed through a window?_ "Oh…God…" he moaned. A roar of laughter erupted around him.

"Oh no John. I'm not sure God can get you out of this one." A pair of hands pulled John out of the window then slammed him hard against the SUV. John gritted his teeth, wincing from the pain that shot through his lower back. John managed to open his eyes some more and that's when his blood ran cold.

"My…oh God…Hunter? Scott?" John scanned the people surrounding him who were waiting to kick his ass. Hunter was standing in front of him holding a sledgehammer. Next to him was his current lover Jeff Hardy, Paul Wight, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Sean Waltman. The Kliq. Here in the flesh and John was scared to death. "G…Guys please…" _These guys are going to kill me!_

"Shut the fuck up John," Hunter growled. "Men?" Kevin and Scott each grabbed one of John's arms standing him up. Sean took off a glove that he was wearing and smacked John several times across the face as hard as he could. They all laughed at John's disoriented look on his face. Jeff was the only one who didn't find it funny. Jeff tugged at Hunter's shirt.

"Baby, that's enough. Let's get out of here."

"No Jeff. Not yet. I want to see him sweat." He pulled away from Jeff. Kissing the top of his trusty sledgehammer, he shoved the handle into John's stomach.

"Oh shit…" John gasped. He wanted to fall over to the ground but because he was being held up by Hunter's friends, he was being forced to take the pain.

"Oh get over it John," Hunter said flatly. "This is nothing compared to the emotional damage that was done to Shawn. You deserve a lot worse!" He dropped the weapon to the ground and started pounding into John with his fists. John coughed and gasped for air, taking every punch to the stomach and the ribs. His eyes were tearing up and his legs felt like jelly. Paul aka The Big Show, stepped up and landed a right to John's jaw bursting his nose. All the guys looked on laughing like it was nothing except Jeff. Jeff looked absolutely terrified.

"Hunter….Hunter stop! You're going to…"

"Shut it Jeff!" Hunter yelled. He back away from John allowing him time to catch his breath. Kevin and Scott released John letting him fall to the safety of the pavement below. John landed on all fours, coughing and spitting up blood. His whole body was trembling with fright and he half wondered if he was going to be killed. He wouldn't put it past Hunter to leave him for dead over Shawn and as much as John hated it, he knew that Shawn was worth everything Hunter was doing for him. A kick to the side and John found himself rolling over into the blood he just spit up. Hunter and the others stood over him grinning.

"So John, how does it feel to be lying on your back?" Sean teased.

"Oh come on Sean. Give the guy a break," Scott scolded. He puffed on his cigarette some more. The guys all laughed as he blew the smoke in John's face. "Guys, I'm tired of this cigarette. Anybody want it? No? How about you Layfield?" He shoved the cigarette in his mouth while all the guys just roared with laughter.

"You guys…I wish you'd just do what you're planning to do," he breathed. John propped himself up on his arms only to be kicked hard in the chest, forcing him back down on the hard pavement. Kevin increased the pressure on John's chest smiling maniacally as John's eyes widened with fright. His arms flailed wildly all over the place as he gasped for air. "Please…Kevin…I'm sorry…can't…breathe…"

Jeff watched in terror as the group of guys laughed and played with Layfield. The more he watched, the more uncomfortable he became. If someone were to come up on the scene and see Jeff standing there, they would probably wonder why the hell he even bothered. Truth is Jeff really didn't want to be there. He wanted no part of any of this because he wasn't a violent person. Nobody deserved to be treated like an animal but Hunter insisted that John needed this. Jeff tried to talk his lover out of it but because it was Shawn that got hurt, there was no reasoning with him. So Jeff had no choice but to tag along. Hunter tried to make him stay away but Jeff knew he needed to be there. He heard that in the past, the Kliq had a habit of taking things a bit too far and so he made it his business to be there to stop Hunter from being sent to jail. Right now, all they were doing was taunting him but even this seemed over the top. _God I can't take much more of this…_ "Hunter…guys look, I think you've done enough. He can't breath and he's coughing up blood all over the place. Can't we just let him go now?" Jeff ran over to Hunter tugging at his arm. Hunter cast him a sidelong glance wearing his signature grin. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine. Alright guys. You heard the man. Let's finish this up."

**~xx~**

Chris Jericho stormed up the hall. _Hunter…You bastard!_ When Chris was safely inside the locker room, he quickly pulled out his cell. The phone rang several times but Hunter wouldn't pick up. "Dammit! The bastard!" _I can't go through with this. Rape? No way...He lied…_

"Chris?" Chris, never realizing that he had been pacing the room, looked up with a sick expression on his face.

"Sha…Shawn? What are you doing here?" he stammered. _No no no! Just what I need._

"My…segment's over," he answered slowly, his eyebrow arched curiously at Chris. "Are you okay?" Shawn slowly approached his ex lover as he was very aware of the uncomfortable tension in the room. He didn't want to make it any worse but at the same time, he really had no where else to go right now. John was probably already gone for the night and even if he was still there, he highly doubted that John wanted to be near him right now.

"Yeah. I'm fine," he lied. Shawn rolled his eyes calling his bluff.

"Your voice is high pitched which means you're lying but whatever. It's not my business so I'll leave it alone. Unless you have a problem with me staying in here, I'm going to lie on the floor and listen to some tunes."

"Uh…" Chris bit his lip staring at the floor. _What do I do? He's already here so I don't really need to stall if he's planning to stay in here. But if Hunter's the one who raped Kurt then JBL's in serious trouble. Rape…Gahhh I hate this!_

"Chris?" Shawn sensed that something was eating Chris up very badly. His ex-lover had sweat pouring down the sides of his face. Since Chris didn't wrestle at all tonight Shawn knew it had to be stress. Chris was good at hiding things but right now, it seemed like Chris was having a really hard time hiding whatever it is. Shawn could see right through his act.

"I'm…I'm sorry. Do what you want. I'll just…" _I can't leave. If I leave then I might see something that I don't wanna see and… Chris, calm the fuck down. This is not your concern. All you want is for Shawn to be happy. Yeah. Happy. But if they are planning to do to John what they did to Kurt then Shawn will freak…Oh God have I gotten myself into a mess?_

"Alright. Spill it Chris. You're acting way weirder than usual and it's driving me crazy. I've had a bad week and tonight was probably the worst night I've had in a long time. Despite that, I'm willing to listen to any problem you may be having because at least it'll take my mind off of all of _my_ problems." Shawn grabbed Chris' arm and pulled him over to one of the benches where they sat. Shawn squeezed Chris' thigh smiling over at him as best as he could. He was not in the best of moods either. Right now, all he really wanted to do was get back to the hotel so he could cry his eyes out about John but it looked like Chris was in worse shape so he couldn't just ignore him. "Talk."

"Shawn, I don't need—

"Just talk to me. Please?" Chris shook his head no but Shawn wasn't taking no for an answer. "Chris please. Talk to me. Right now, I think talking will do both of us some good. I've had a sucky week and you're having a sucky night so why not?" he pushed.

"I want to talk to you Shawn. I really do but you can't help me. No one can. I got myself into this and I need to get myself out of it."

"Out of what?"

"Just…something. A deal…promise I made," he said off handedly.

"Oh well I know how you're feeling then," he laughed. "I hate breaking promises and I know all about deals gone wrong." Both men just sat there in silence, listening to the muffled sounds of laughter coming from the other side of the door. Chris looked over at the older man and his heart just sank. Shawn was sad. He was really sad about something yet he was doing his best to hide the feelings in order to cheer him up. He was being selfless, something that Chris needed to learn in the future.

"What did you do about it?" he finally asked.

"What did I do?" Shawn repeated, more to himself than anything. "I wish I knew Chris. God I wish I knew."

"You too huh?"

"It's not that I don't want to keep my promise," he explained. "I try so hard to keep them but sometimes things happen and I just can't do it."

"Why is that?"

"Well…I guess my selfishness is one reason. I'm…a really selfish person. I want what I want and will do whatever it takes to get it. In the past if it meant breaking a promise then so be it. But now…now I can't do that anymore."

"Why not? Why the change of heart?"

"Because Shawn Michaels can't have everything he wants," he replied sadly. "If that was the case then I wouldn't be alone today." _Alone?_ Chris stared at Shawn dumbstruck. _I know he didn't just say…_

"So you and John… Are you two through?" Shawn blinked several times then cursed under his breath. He said it out loud without even thinking and it was too late. "He dumped you didn't he?"

"No, it's not like that."

"Then what do you mean by alone? Are you planning on leaving him?" Chris stood to his feet, half outraged and overjoyed.

"Yeah. I…guess I am," he answered softly. _But not because I want to. _Chris Jericho just stared at him in disbelief. He certainly wasn't expecting this. But despite Shawn's determination to be selfless and get rid of John, Chris could tell by the sound of Shawn's voice that he wasn't so sure. The only reason he wouldn't be sure is if…damn. Chris kneeled down in front of Shawn clasping his thighs.

"Do you love him?" Shawn didn't answer him. He just continued looking down ignoring Chris' question. "Answer me!" Chris yelled. He was getting irritated and it was a combination of all sorts of feelings. He knew Shawn had gone through a lot over the span of a week but right now he needed to know otherwise he was going to be in deep shit. When Shawn chose not to answer that's when he knew… "My God," he gasped, the realization overcoming him. "You…you _do_ love him…" Shawn looked up at him but couldn't bring himself to speak. His throat was knotted up and he didn't want Chris seeing him cry. "I…I can't believe…" The door suddenly burst open and in walked Adam. When he spotted Chris with Shawn he paused. Shawn didn't even look up because he was too busy biting his lip, fighting back tears. Chris rolled his eyes irritated at having being disturbed. "What?" he snapped. "What the hell do you want?"

"Uh…" Adam glanced over at Shawn again and saw that he was fidgeting. He hesitated to speak up because the news he had for them would surely upset Shawn. _What to do? I already owe Shawn so much for what I did to him but what would be the right thing?_

"Well? Aren't you going to talk?" Chris stood to his feet waiting for Adam to speak but all he got was a sort of apologetic wince. Chris noticed that Adam kept cutting his eyes towards Shawn with a grim look on his face. _Something's wrong…_ "Uh Shawn? Sweetheart I'm going outside to talk with Adam. I'll be back alright?" Shawn nodded his head. Adam grabbed Chris by the arm and quickly pulled him out of the door. Once outside, Chris snatched his arm away from Adam. "Dammit Adam! What the hell man? Grabbing on me like that. This better be important because Shawn and I were having a very important conversation."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Adam said hurriedly. He looked around to make sure no one was around then he spoke softly. "I've been looking everywhere for you man. There's some serious shit going on outside the arena. Vince is still in his office and I'm sure if he knew…"

"What's going on?" Chris noticed that Adam was sweating pretty hard despite the fact that there was adequate air-conditioning in the building. "You're nervous. Come on man spill it! How come you didn't want Shawn to know?"

"Because man…it's…Hunter…he's…"

"He's what? Spill it Adam!"

"Him and his boys are outside…it's bad man. Real bad." Adam swallowed hard, forcing himself to continue. "I…I didn't go out there but Randy and Cena are out there now. Randy wouldn't even let me see the damage. He's scared they might get me too. They're all out of their minds and no one dares crosses the Kliq."

"Oh…Oh man…" Chris covered his face groaning into his hands. "This is bad…This is…So John…is he…?"

"I…I don't know. All I know is that somebody's gotta go out there and reason with them. Randy won't let me and so I thought maybe you—

"Where's Dave?"

"He's outside...somewhere. Hell if I know! Look Chris, I'm…I'm kind of torn right now because JBL is a friend of mine. I...I've never had any problems with him until the bar incident but I can't just stand around and let them do things to him. Mark kicked my ass. Okay. So I deserved it but the way they are humiliating John…" The locker room door opened and out walked Shawn. Both guys jumped, instantly stretching their mouths in half-hearted smiles that only made Shawn even more suspicious. Shawn glared at the two of them.

"Someone mentioned the Kliq. I want to know and I want the truth, right now."

**~xx~**

JBL was a filthy, bloody, naked mess, but he didn't care. His head was throbbing so badly that he was sure his brain would explode any minute now. His ribs felt like they were cracked in several places and his back was in dire pain. John tried to lift his arms but they too hurt like hell. _God just kill me now…Kill me now…_ John felt himself fading out. _Why is everything so dark?_ John closed his eyes giving into the darkness. _No more pain…no more pain…_

~xx~_  
_

"Well guys, we did good tonight."

"I agree Hunter," Kevin chuckled. "I just don't know how I feel about getting my hands dirty twice in a week's time."

"It was for a good cause," Sean replied casually. He popped his lollipop back into his mouth earning some laughs from the guys.

"I can't believe you guys! You…he's unconscious now!" Cena was standing a few feet away from the Kliq, his fists clenched tightly. Him, Dave, and Randy heard some commotion earlier and came running outside only to find the Kliq beating the hell out of John. It was sickening. JBL was lying unconsciously on the hood of his limo, naked, bleeding, and bruised. The sight made Cena want to hurl. Blood was everywhere and John's limo looked like it semi crashed into it. It was just a mess.

"Oh get over it Cena. You'd have done the same thing if Shawn was your man."

"But that's the whole point Hunter. Shawn's NOT your man anymore. Your man is so disgusted with you that he's sitting inside your limo crying his eyes out because of you." Hunter dropped his sledgehammer. Eying Cena dangerously, he approached him stopping just inches from him.

"Why are you out here Cena?" he growled. "This has nothing to do with you. You're not part of the Kliq and you're not with Shawn so why should our business matter to you?"

"Hunter…Hunter back off." Randy came over pushing Cena aside so he could face his former stable leader. Hunter gave him the once over cracking a smile at the younger man.

"My how you've grown," he noted.

"Hunter we're not kidding man. This was over the top, even for you. You could have done this somewhere else man. Look at him!" he screamed. "He's naked and practically dead yet you could care less. What the hell is up with you?"

"Not you too." He rolled his eyes.

"You should be worried about Jeff and not spending all of your time fighting Shawn's battles!"

"And you should mind your fucking business! Shawn means everything to me and so does Jeff. I would have done the exact same thing for my current lover so don't you dare insinuate that I don't care for him!"

"Shawn means the world to me too but I didn't freak out and try to kill someone!" Cena yelped. "You humiliated that man! He…He wasn't even directly involved in the rape!"

"And how do you know?" Hunter snapped back. "How the fuck would you know anything? You wasn't there. None of you were! Shawn was fucking raped on John Layfield's watch and in my book it makes him every bit as responsible for this. Besides, I'm sure Shawn will warm up to you sooner or later Cena. In fact, you're part of the reason we broke up in the first place. You just couldn't keep your fucking hands off of him could you?" Cena drew back to punch him but Randy held him back.

"Shut up! JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH HUNTER! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME AND SHAWN! I FUCKING LOVE HIM! WHILE YOU WERE…while you were on Smackdown neglecting his feelings, running behind the little Hardy runt over there, I was the one sticking up for him. When I got injured, Chris picked up where I left off and helped Shawn make it through another famous breakup due to your selfishness!"

"When Vince put me on Smackdown, that wasn't your cue to move in on my man Cena. You _took_ him from me and—

"Oh so this is what this is about? You're mad because I took Shawn from you so now you're taking all that pent up anger out on JBL?" Cena scoffed. "That's some bullshit man. You brought the breakup on yourself."

"You're asking for a fight Cena. _Don't_ test me."

"I'm not afraid of you." Cena shoved Randy aside and got right in Hunter's face.

"You want us to get him Hunt?"

"Stay back Kev. I got this." Hunter moved even closer to Cena until he could feel Cena's breath on his lips. "I've _never_ liked you Cena," he seethed.

"The feeling's mutual. Shawn deserved better."

"Certainly not you. You're a few steps _down_ the ladder."

"Actually I think I'm above the ladder but it's not about what I think or what you think. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is what Shawn thinks and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure he thinks too highly of either one of us these days."

"Oh yeah? What makes you so sure _Little _Man?"

"Because JBL is the one he cares about."

"I don't think so." Cena smirked.

"Go home to your little Hardy Boy before someone takes him from you."

"I don't think that's possible."

"Fuck with me and I WILL take him. Just like I took Shawn—

Hunter silenced Cena with a punch across his face knocking him backwards. Hunter turned to leave but Cena ran after him pushing him to the ground. He straddled his waist and the two of them rolled around on the ground, punching and clawing at one another.

"FUCK YOU CENA!"

"NO, FUCK YOU! SHAWN WILL NEVER BE YOURS AGAIN!" All of a sudden Cena felt himself being pulled off of Hunter. He struggled to get away at first until he realized that everyone was…quiet. _Too quiet…_ It took him a minute to realize that everyone was staring in the direction of JBL's limo. Cena reluctantly pushed his way past Sean and Paul to see what the fuss was all about. What he saw made his heart sink. _Oh no…_

There was Shawn standing there next to the limo, his whole body trembling. His fists were clenched tightly as he looked upon the lifeless man lying naked on the hood of the vehicle. The silence was so deadly that Cena was sure he would explode any second now.

He watched as Shawn pulled his wrestling tee over his head placing it over John's exposed member. Afterwards, Shawn leaned forward against the hood, gripping the sides tightly. _God forgive me but I'm about to sin…_ He slowly bent over picking up the sledgehammer that Hunter left laying there. His hands shook uncontrollably frightening everyone as he turned to face them. For a second, Cena wasn't sure if Shawn could even hold the heavy weaponry. His beloved's eyes flashed dangerously as he looked around the group of men. All of them were guilty in his book and they were ALL going to pay.

"Shawn…" Cena whispered. "Please…let us…explain." _He looks…almost deranged…_

"I'm going to _kill_ every last one of you and smile while doing it." Cena's blood turned cold. _Oh God he's snapped…_ He had snapped and it was about to get really ugly real quick if someone didn't stop him.

* * *

AN: I know Big Show isn't part of the Kliq, but I added him for extra man power. In this fic, Paul and Hunter are good friends too. That's why he tagged along for the beating. And I hope you're paying close attention to the quotes...They seem to highlight the story very well...May even clue you end on the ending...Yes, the end is nearing...That is all.


	22. Attrition & Painful Veracity

_Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy_  
**-- Marguerite De Valois**

**~xx~  
**

Shawn's body continued to tremble as he held the heavy sledgehammer. His eyes consistently roamed around the parking lot taking in everyone who was out there. Paul, Hunter, Kevin, Cena, Randy, Sean, and Scott; all of them with guilty looks on their faces.

"Shawn…Shawn you don't want to do that baby girl," Kevin whispered. Shawn's eyes rounded on Kevin again. He couldn't think. His brain wouldn't allow him to think. His body just sprung forward with the hammer held high aiming at Cena.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU! BASTARDS!"

"Oh shit! Somebody get him!" Randy yelled. Cena managed to get out of the way and Shawn swung at the next person – Paul, who just barely managed to grab his arm.

"LET GO OF ME! FUCK LET ME GO!" Shawn screamed. By now, Randy was beside Paul yanking the hammer out of Shawn's hands while Kevin stood close behind. Shawn was filled with rage and as soon as the hammer fell from his hand, he turned around and jumped Randy. His hands grasped Randy's neck squeezing the life out of him but Kevin was just as quick. He grabbed Shawn from behind, dragging him off of Randy as he kicked and screamed. "LET GO OF ME GODDAMMIT! LET ME GO!" Shawn kicked Kevin in his left knee, bringing his old friend to his knees. Kevin's left knee had given him the most trouble throughout his wrestling career but Shawn didn't care. _Kill them all! I got to kill them all! They hurt him…they hurt…_ Shawn ran at lightening speed towards Hunter knocking him against his limo. "HOW COULD YOU!" he screamed. By now, Shawn was exhausted – both physically and mentally. He had no idea that his punches were having no effect on Hunter. The guys started towards Hunter to pull Shawn away but he shook his head. Hunter allowed Shawn to pound away at his chest until he finally broke down. "I hate you…I hate you all," he choked. Hunter wrapped his arms around Shawn bringing him close but Shawn violently pushed him away. He stumbled backwards a bit holding his hand out. "No…stay…away from me," he breathed.

"But Shawn—

"I said SHUT UP!" he screamed. "I don't wanna hear anything you have to say. I fucking hate you!"

"Shawn we were only trying to—

"Trying to what Hunter? Help?" Shawn laughed a little. His laughed wasn't at all warm and fuzzy. Instead it came off as evil…mad even making the very hairs on some of the guys arms stand. Shawn stumbled around in a circle looking at all of the guys. None of them would meet his gaze which made him laugh again. Shawn laughed and laughed as he tried to make some sense of it all but his laughter soon turned to tears when his eyes fell back on JBL's limo. He dropped to his knees and just sobbed. All they could do was watch silently. What could any of them say? The deed had been done and it was too late to take it back, not that many of them wanted to take it back anyway. While Randy and Cena were truly sorry for what had happened, the same could not be said for the Kliq. They were proud of their work and in their opinion JBL deserved it.

Hunter watched his ex lover in his crying state. While a part of him felt truly sorry for him the other part knew it was for his own good. Shawn had never been much of a good judge of character when it came to his boyfriend's. In his eyes, none of his men including himself could do no wrong. Shawn made everyone out to be good people. This is why Hunter felt like Shawn needed help when it came to these things. Relationships had never been Shawn's strong point but Hunter knew he'd done right. He'd managed to stop Shawn from making the biggest mistake of his life and if it meant that Shawn would hate him for now then so be it. Shawn would eventually come around. He always did and Hunter knew that this time would be no different.

"Shawn? Shawn come on now. Stop all your crying. You know we didn't mean any harm. We were only looking out for you." Shawn folded his arms across his chest continuing to stare at the ground. Right now he just couldn't bear the sight of any of them. It hurt too much. "Shawn?"

"Looking out for me huh?"

"Yeah. You know, you're still the baby girl of the Kliq. We're going to help when you need it. Always."

"Help? You call this help?" Shawn angrily stood to his feet glaring at his former lover. "Just what exactly were you trying to help me with Hunter?" Hunter stared at Shawn in disbelief.

"What?" he laughed. "Shawn, we were trying to protect you from that big oaf over there. I know there's a reason you two were together and after he let you get raped, I be damned if I was going to just sit there and let him get away with it. And I'm still kind of tripping over you right now. I can't believe you would give him the time of day, especially after that happened!"

"He's my boyfriend Hunter!" Shawn snapped. Hunter and some of the other guys just laughed. Shawn turned to face the rest of them. "Oh? So you guys find this funny?" Cena and Randy gave each other those 'I knew it' looks before lowering their heads. They wanted no part of this. The only reason they stayed planted was because they both wanted to know what was really going on between John and Shawn and from the looks of things, it was about to be revealed. "Somebody better fucking answer me! Who thinks this is funny because I don't see a damn thing funny about any of this. You hurt him and I'm not happy right now."

"Shawn…you can't possibly care what happens to that douche over there," Paul commented. "I mean look at him? He's a piece of trash. A filthy rich, stuck-up, piece of Texas redneck who cares only for himself. I highly doubt he gives a shit about you."

"I agree with Show," Sean added. "I mean, he's not even your type Shawny. Besides, from what I hear he's a total creep. Treats you like shit and even knocked you around a couple of times."

"Wha…what? Who told you that? Was it Cena?" Shawn turned to face Cena who was frantically shaking his head.

"No. Shawn I swear to God I never said anything. I…would never…I mean…"

"Don't blame Cena Shawn. It was me. I told Hunter about John." The voice was all too familiar to him and he'd hoped had no part of this. His last resort. His last friend but no. His last hope at having any kind of support had failed him so now once again, he was in this completely alone.

"Chris?" Chris pushed his way past Cena and so did Adam, who quickly grabbed the arm of his lover keeping his distance. Everyone else just watched as Chris approached the seething blonde. "Why Chris? Why did you tell Hunter? It wasn't your business to tell."

"Because I couldn't stand the sight of you being hurt anymore Shawn. You come to the arena with black eyes, whelps, and you even flinch now when people reach out to you—

"I WAS RAPED CHRIS! WHAT DID YOU FUCKING EXPECT?"

"You had bruises before you were raped Shawn," Cena added. Shawn's eyes were filling up with water again and while Cena felt bad for Shawn, he also felt he was obligated to voice the truth. "I know it's not my business Shawn but Chris is right. You came to the arena several times in severe pain. You even tried to drown yourself!"

"Shawn, you can't hide from the truth anymore," Chris said softly. "I love you – we all love you and everyone just has your best interest at heart. I for one can't stand to see you all bruised up."

"And I hate holding you in my arms and seeing you wince in pain," Cena added.

"Oh God_, seriously?_" Shawn screamed. "So all of this is because you guys have _MY_ best interest at heart?"

"Yeah Shawn. I mean, I didn't figure they would go this far but for the most part, everyone out here's just trying to help."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" Shawn shouted. "I'M FINE! MY LIFE IS…IS MY LIFE AND I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS BUTTING INTO IT!" _These guys….They can't be…are they serious? _Shawn was having a hard time controlling his anger again. Then again, his brain was running in overdrive. He just couldn't see the logic behind all of this. _Help? They want to help me?_

"Obviously you do because you're stuck in a relationship—

"I'M NOT STUCK…in a relationship Chris. I am in one because I want to be."

"That's a lie and you know it," Chris snapped. He got right in Shawn's face staring him down. "You can hit me…you can do whatever you want Shawn but since we're trying to get everything out in the open, how about you come clean with the _real _reason you're with JBL. Why don't you tell everyone the truth Shawn."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't give me that!" Chris snapped. "Tell them all why you're really with JBL or I'll do it myself," he threatened. "I hate that things got a bit violent tonight but one can't help but feel he deserved it. He _forced_ you into a relationship, beat you senseless and even let you get raped! That right there is a resume for an ass-whooping. Now tell them Shawn. You're not with JBL because you want to be so stop this fucking act!"

"_Act?_ You…you think this is an act?" he asked incredulously. He looked around at the Kliq members and some of them shrugged in agreement. Even Hunter had a doubtful look on his face. "I…I don't believe this. I'm hurting right now. I'm hurting more than you can possibly imagine and the best argument you got against my relationship with John is that I'm acting? That I'm pretending to care for him?"

"It's got to be an act," Chris reasoned. "Why else would you take up for someone who threatened to let your ex lover die?" Shawn eyes went wide with surprise which only confirmed Chris' theory. "I knew it."

"What's he talking about Shawn?" Hunter asked. A wry smirk formed across Chris' lips as he started circling the blonde.

"I…I don't…"

"John forced you to be his boyfriend Shawn. You wanna know how I know?" Chris sang. Shawn bit his lower lip; another sign that Chris was onto something.

"What do you _think_ you know?" Shawn growled.

"I know that Bret – that would be your first love Bret Hart – had an interesting gambling problem."

"And your point is?"

"Give me a second sweetheart. I'm getting there. Anyway, a friend of mine was doing a little research for me because honestly Shawn, no one in their right mind would willingly date that overbearing lunatic over there. So after much digging and no such luck, I finally get a phone call the other day with some interesting news. Turns out Bret owed – gasp – the mob about a million dollars!"

"What! Seriously!?" Hunter exclaimed. "Dude, he must have had some kind of problems. Shawn, did you really drive him that crazy?" Hunter joked. Shawn just glared at his former lover before shoving Chris away from him.

"Get away from me. I don't want to hear anymore because you're going to jump to the wrong conclusion and…"

"Oh no Shawn. I'm going to finish because dammit you need to hear it."

"No I won't—

"Since it's the mob then I'm sure Bret was in a hell of a lot of trouble," he continued. He spoke loud enough to drown out all of Shawn's protesting because he was determined to get the truth out for everyone's sake.

"Chris don't…."

"And so he needed to pay all that money back and probably with interest. Of course since he had no job then that would have been kind of hard."

"Chris please!" he cried but he was ignored. Completely ignored.

"And so I figure that you ended up having to pay for Bret's mistakes. You somehow ended up making a deal with JBL and in return for sex or whatever, he'd pay off Bret's debt."

"Whoa! Time out Chris," Hunter chuckled. "I mean, that's a good theory and all but it hardly makes sense."

"I know what I'm talking about Hunter. I saw the check stub. JBL wrote Bret a check for 200 grand. That was more than enough to finish off his debt." Shawn suddenly looked up staring at Chris with a confused look on his face.

"Huh? John did what?"

"He paid off the debt. Cut Bret a check and now the mob's probably off his back for good. He should be thrilled being as you had to suffer for it," Chris scoffed. Shawn didn't quite know what to say to this. He knew John was paying off his debt but he didn't know the debt had been wiped away for good. He'd only been working with John for a little over a month which was hardly enough to cover that debt. _Was he going to pay off the debt anyway? That wasn't part of our deal. Oh John… _While Shawn's eye filled with water again over his new discovery Hunter still wasn't convinced.

"You might be right about the forced relationship Chris but it still makes no sense. If Shawn needed money, why didn't he just come to one of us or to Vince?"

"He did come to me." Everyone immediately got quiet, the hairs on their bodies starting to stand. Randy and Adam cleared a path for the boss to come through then silently prayed that they would be spared his wrath. By now, Shawn was on his knees again sobbing. Vince slowly walked up to him and touched his shoulder. "Shawn? Shawn sweetie get up. Get up and come with me." Shawn was too tired to argue anymore. He allowed Vince to help him up and he just folded into him. Vince pulled Shawn into him and just held him close; a sign that Shawn could trust him as well as depend upon him. Vince glared at all his employees – and former employees. "I want all of you to get the out of here or else I'll be pressing charges. For all of your sakes, you better hope John can compete Sunday night otherwise all of you will be in serious trouble; as much trouble as money can buy."

"Wait a second. Hold on Vince. Don't we get an explanation?" Hunter asked. He was pissed. He didn't care if it was the boss. He needed answers. "I know we went over the top with this but all of us feel like we did the right thing. Now you come out here and say that Shawn came to you. If he did then why the hell is he still with JBL?" Hunter jumped when he felt the door of his limo open.

"MOVE!" Jeff scurried out of the limo glaring at his lover as he ran by him. He was through just sitting there watching. He stopped in front of Vince, a look of remorse embedded in his face. "Vince, I…let me take Shawn inside. I…I need to…"

"Go ahead son. I'll be there to join you two in a minute. First I need to clear up a few things out here. Shawn, go with Jeff son.

"No…I can't," he moaned. "John…he needs…" Shawn was so tired, so exhausted that it hurt to even stand on his feet anymore. But he willed himself to stay focused. He knew that John had no one right now but him and he wanted to make sure that he'd at least be taken care of by someone who actually cared about him.

"It's okay Shawn. I'll get him some help. In fact the EMS will be out here soon to—

"No. No he cant go with them." He shook his head. "He's already been humiliated enough," Shawn choked.

"But I promise you they'll take care of him," Vince soothed.

"No! He…he needs his sister…Meredith. She…"

"I promise you I'll call her." At that very second, flashing lights and sirens filled the parking lot. The ambulance had arrived. The team of rescuers quickly wheeled a stretched our and immediately went for the bashed limo.

"I…I got to…" Shawn ran over towards the rescue workers, his heart racing furiously. John was still lifeless and he looked so pale. "Please…is he…will he…" He couldn't get the words out.

"It doesn't look good but I promise you he's going to get the best care available."

"I…I wanna go with…"

"No Shawn. You need to rest." Vince and Jeff ushered Shawn away from the vehicle. Shawn watched as the doors closed on his friend before they drove off into the night. Jeff grabbed Shawn's hand giving it a gentle squeeze. "Let's get out of here." Shawn nodded his head and allowed the younger Hardy boy to lead him out of the parking lot and back into the arena.

**~xx~**

When Shawn was long gone inside the building, Vince clapped his hands together getting everyone's attention. "Alright fellas. You want answers. I got some for you but I can't promise you you're going to like them. I…First off, let me state that for the record, I am ashamed of all of you. Cena…Chris, especially you two."

"But Vince I had nothing—

"I realize that Cena but you didn't help the matter by adding to Chris' theories."

"They're not _theories_ Vince. They're the truth. Shawn was being abused by John and Cena and I both have proof. We were only trying to help pull Shawn out of his own delusional little world about John. Shawn seems hell bent on defending that loser but he can't anymore. Now that everything's out on the table, there's just no way he can honestly defend him anymore."

"Is that right?" Vince asked. He looked around at the group of burly men and laughed. "You guys are really serious about this huh? And to think I always thought you guys were jealous of Shawn."

"Jealous? Why would we be jealous?" Hunter asked. Vince scoffed.

"Don't give me that Hunter. You're the main one but I'll get to you in a second. But first I suppose I need to explain how Shawn got involved with John to begin with."

"Oh please do," Kevin replied. "When I think about the look Shawn just had on his face, I'm starting to wonder whether or not this was really okay."

"Well Kevin, I'll leave that to all of you to figure out later. You see guys, like everyone else in the company, Shawn had to take a slight pay cut. All of you and myself probably figured it wasn't that big of a deal…and it wouldn't have been if Shawn wasn't spending large chunks of it each month."

"What do you mean by 'large chunks'?" Cena asked. "Shawn's got money saved up in banks. I'm sure money's not THAT big a deal."

"Yeah but I guess the pay cut would explain why he went to JBL for money," Chris reasoned. "But…if he came to you then what the hell Vince? How'd he still end up working for JBL? And…I'm just assuming the whole storyline has some truth to it."

"Some truth but not a lot. The only part of that storyline that has truth to it is the part about Shawn losing his retirement money. He actually lost some money on some stocks but it wasn't enough to bankrupt him. And for your information Chris, I offered Shawn help but he turned me down."

"He turned you down? But why?" Kevin asked.

"I don't know. At the time, he was with John but I had no idea that they had some kind of arrangement going on. I didn't know anything of an arrangement until just now. A concerned party came by my office and told me everything that he knew about the situation."

"So you've no idea what kind of arrangement Shawn had with John?"

"Nope. All I know is that Shawn was taking money from JBL and that they were supposedly an official couple. If you want details about the deal then I suggest you ask Shawn but good luck getting anything out of him. I'm not even sure at this point if he'd even talk to you all. After what you did to his boyfriend…"

"Look Vince, I don't know where you get off calling John his boyfriend," Hunter growled. "If they made a deal then that relationship is totally bogus."

"Oh is it? Then how do you explain what happened just now?"

"What do you mean? If you're talking about Shawn's tears then I'm not buying it. I've known Shawn for a long time Vince and he's a very convincing actor. If keeping that secret meant saving Bret's life then he'd put on an Oscar winning performance to keep it."

"Yeah I agree Hunt but…but that still doesn't explain why he turned down Vince's money," Sean added nervously. Hunter opened his mouth to speak again but he couldn't think of anything to say. "I…I know I've never been the brightest of the bunch but I am smart enough to know that no one in their good mind would turn down money from the boss…er…ex boss."

"Yeah. Pac's got a point. Shawn could have told Jibble to go hell and took Vince's money, never having to worry about anything ever again," Scott added.

"But why? God, can somebody please just fucking tell me why—

"Isn't it obvious Hunter?" Chris asked.

"Huh? What? No, it's not obvious!" he snapped.

"I was standing behind Randy when Shawn told you. He told all of you why he didn't take the money, but you wouldn't listen." Vince spoke softly commanding everyone's attention. His tone was neither angry nor sad. Rather it was full of raw paternal emotion that had everyone feeling slightly uncomfortable now. "None of you would listen. You were all too busy trying to convince yourselves that what you did was right. You were covering up that small possibility that Shawn really liked John and you viciously attacked him to hide the guilt." Vince's eyes rounded on Cena. "I'll start with you Cena. You're a good kid and I can tell you really love Shawn but sometimes just _being there_ as the silent observer is the best way to show your love. I don't know if Shawn will blame you for any of this but I'm just pointing out that maybe you should have been less eager to join the crowd and Chris…God Chris, I wouldn't have imagined you would sink so low. Of all the names to bring up in Shawn's current state, you had to bring up Bret."

"But Vince—

"Shut up and listen!" Vince growled. "I couldn't be more disappointed in someone than I am with you right now. For someone who obsesses over Shawn like you do, I imagine you probably hurt him the most. He might not have loved you the way you wanted him to but even he knew that you two had a connection than ran deep. You guys fight a lot but that's just a sign that you really care for one another. And now that you've aired his personal business all over the parking lot, I highly doubt he'll be speaking to you anytime soon. Shawn's love for Bret runs deep because Bret was his first love. He'll never get over him and that's why he went out of his way to keep him safe. I'm sure Hunter can relate."

"Yeah I can because that's what I was trying to do. I was trying to keep him safe from John."

"Was that all Hunter?" Vince asked. "Or were you just bitter that Shawn found happiness in the unlikeliest of persons?"

"No I just…"

"Are you angry because you feel like John is so beneath you? Is it hard to imagine Shawn loving someone like John but can't bear to be your companion? You think you're _better _than John somehow?"

"No I…"

"I think you need to grow up!" he growled. "None of you are any better than Layfield. If anything you've surpassed him in low. You humiliated both him and Shawn and for that you all will suffer. I know I play a ruthless villain on TV who loves getting revenge on others but that's just TV. I could never…," he scoffed. "Did you ever once stop to think that maybe if Shawn wasn't complaining about John that everything was peachy? And what about what _Shawn_ wants? You all were so goddamned concerned about your feelings and what you thought was best for Shawn that you didn't even consider his feelings. To me, that's about as selfish as it gets."

"But…But Shawn's stubborn Vince," Chris replied. Vince's words were starting to eat away at him so his throat was knotting up. He felt like burying himself in a hole and never coming out again.

"And Shawn would never own up to anything," Hunter added. "That's why we did it. We want what's best for Shawn—

"But what's best for Shawn is _HIS_ decision," Vince said cutting him off. "Not any of yours. The only one who knows what's best for Shawn _IS_ Shawn. _All_ of you need to get that through your thick skulls before you ruin his life. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go check on him before he tries to kill someone else. In the meantime, if you're not employed by me then get the _hell_ out of here." They all silently watched as Vince stormed back inside the arena. When he was long gone, they all went their separate ways in silence; each one needing some time alone to ponder Vince's words. A lot had happened in just that one night which resulted in devastating outcomes but was it too much to repair?

* * *

**AN: No beta this time so I hope it was readable with minimal errors. I'll go back at some later time and check for corrections but like Shawn, I'm tired. If you didn't know, I made a JBLShawn video on youtube called 'The Deal'. Go figure. LOL But check it out. It was for you guys. The second video will be up by Friday. I think you'll enjoy it. It's a little more lighthearted, um...maybe not lighthearted but not as depressing I should say. Other than that, I'm hoping to wrap this up soon. If I can type like I want to, I'll have it finished in another week or so. Well. That's all:D Review if you want. ~Nefatiri**


	23. Jeff vs Shawn: Heart 2 Heart

**AN: Some people are going to have mixed feelings about this chapter but I can assure you it was necessary. If you have questions after reading then don't hesitate to ask. And we pick up where we left off…**

**

* * *

**_Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world. _  
**~ by Rev Ed Hird ~**

**~~xx~~  
**

Mark hung up his phone and just stared at it. He should not have answered it. He didn't want or need to know about what happened because now he was angry even though he shouldn't be. Mark sat on the edge of his bed staring at his feet. _Poor Shawn. I wonder how he's doing._ Oddly enough it had been Adam that called him. He said Randy was too distraught to talk about it but felt like he needed to know.

"John Layfield is in the hospital."

"Really? What happened?"

"They got him."

"Who got him?"

"The Kliq. Hunter and the guys beat him up. Let him naked and a bloody mess on the hood of his limo."

"What?! Are you serious?! What of Shawn? Does Shawn know about this?" Adam's pause told Mark everything. "How did he take it?"

"He…not good Mark. Not good at all."

"How long ago was this?"

"Uh…about an hour ago. Shawn left with Vince and Jeff. Everyone else just went their separate ways. It was…I can't even describe the feeling man. I feel so bad for Shawn right now but it turns out Shawn's relationship wasn't legit."

"What do you mean?"

"Well sometime during all the crying and screaming, Chris told all of us how Shawn was getting paid to be John's lover."

"Huh? That's…That's…"

"Crazy I know, but it's the truth."

"Wow. I…I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, me neither, which is why I held my tongue. But you know what Mark? I'm starting to wonder."

"Wonder what?"

"I think Shawn really likes JBL."

"Oh?"

"I just…it's just this feeling. He…the way he reacted when he saw John lying on the limo…and the way he went out of his way to defend their relationship. Randy and I both felt his passion…felt his anguish as he tried to defend himself but it wasn't enough for some people Mark. It just wasn't enough."

"Wow. Adam I've never heard you speak so passionately about something."

"I'm sorry Mark. I just…every time I replay tonight in my head, I go crazy. The look on his face as if he was just betrayed by all the people he loved…dammit Mark…I…I gotta go. I can't talk about this anymore. Good night Mark."

Mark ran a hand through his long hair groaning. _I'm glad I wasn't there. To see Shawn like that would have killed me._ Mark turned out his light and climbed into bed. After tossing and turning for over an hour, he grabbed the phone off his desk dialing a number he's never dialed before.

"He…hello?" The voice was light and groggy meaning he was probably sound asleep before he called.

"John?"

"Mark?"

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"No, no…It's alright. I just drifted off anyway. So what's up?" Mark hesitated to speak even though they had been friends for nearly a month. He was still getting used to his new friendship with John, but at the same time, John was the only one he could turn to right now. _He's a sweet kid and I could use a happy face right now…_

"Are you in your hotel room?"

"Yeah. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah but…I got some news tonight and I just need to be with a friend but if you can't come over then don't worry about it. It's late and—

"I'll be right over." There was a click and the line went dead. Five minutes later there was a knock on his door. Mark quickly crossed the room opening the door with a grin.

"Wow. That was quick. How'd you know what room I was in?"

"Lucky guess," he grinned.

"Oh well come on in…and…why the heck you got on such a huge fur coat?" Mark got his answer when John took it off. Underneath it was just John in his boxers which brought some color to Mark's face. "Oh. Never mind." John kicked off his shoes plopping on the bed with a smile.

"So what's up big guy? You sounded a little down on the phone."

"Yeah I…Adam called me a while ago and told me some disturbing news."

"What he say?"

"Said Jibble's in the hospital."

"Wow. I…I didn't know."

"It just happened a few hours ago. According to Adam, he was beaten very badly by some of the guys and it just frustrates the hell out me." He sat down next to John sadly. "I'm sorry John. I don't mean to throw all my feelings on you like this."

"Mark, that's what I'm for. We're friends remember? Or is this a one-sided friendship?" He nudged Mark playfully making him laugh.

"No, it's not. I'll always be here for you kid."

"And I'll be sticking to you like glue…until you get tired of me of course."

"Tired of you? Don't make me laugh baby doll. We're family now remember?" John grinned showing his perfect teeth.

"Of course." Mark glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was nearing 3am. "Uh…well I guess I just needed someone to talk with for a minute. You always manage to lighten my mood and once again you didn't fail me."

"I'm glad I was able to help. Well…I'm gonna go now and let you get some rest."

"Uh…well…you don't…have to leave if you don't wanna. It's late and I don't have a problem sharing this big ass bed with a friend." John's face lit up which kind of made Mark blush. He stared at everything but the kid while he waited for his response. He waited and waited but the kid never spoke up. Finally Mark lifted his head only to find the kid already in bed under the covers. Mark shook his laughing. "Wow kid. You are something else." He killed the lights then climbed in bed next to John. John rolled over and snuggled against Mark's warm body. "Uh…kid? You afraid of the dark or something?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah. I'm terrified."

"O…k. Well…I'll do my best to protect you from the creatures of the night."

"I know you will." _Just like I'll always be there for you…_

**~~xx~~**

Jeff led Shawn inside Vince's office. It was almost dark in the office. There was but a small lamp on the left side of Vince's desk illuminating the room with a dim light that cast an eerie shadow over the room. The older man immediately collapsed on the huge leather couch on the right, staring into nothingness. Jeff took a seat next to him doing the same. Both men just sat there in silence until Vince finally walked in. He sat on the other side of Shawn with a concerned, fatherly look on his face.

"Shawn, do you want to talk about it?" Shawn shook his head.

"What else is there to say Vince? Everything's already been said and for the most part was all true."

"Yeah but I don't need to know your business Shawn. I trusted you to come to me if things got rough so I'm sure you've been okay up until now. I just think that it will be best if you get everything you have bottled up inside of you off your chest. You can talk to me about anything Shawn. You and I…I've always cared for you like a son and I hate seeing you this way." Shawn covered his face in his hands and just sobbed. Both Vince and Jeff patted his back while he let it all out. As Jeff watched Shawn cry, he could feel his throat knotting up. Never in his life had he seen so much raw emotion displayed in one night. From his own boyfriend Hunter to the boss Vince McMahon – it was crazy. Who knew one man could get so many people riled up? Jeff shook his head laughing on the inside. Even he had to admit that the situation was emotional, so much so that he was now sitting in Vince's office offering comfort to a guy he always envied.

Jeff didn't realize Shawn had stopped crying until he spoke up. His voice was gruff and filled with a sadness that seemed to bring Jeff even further into his world.

"I'm sorry." His voice wavered a bit as if he was fighting hard to even have a voice but somehow he managed, even if it was tearing him farther apart inside. "I'm sorry for everything." Vince patted his back.

"It's okay son. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I should have just come to you to begin with boss. I should have…I should have…" Shawn's voice trailed off silencing him to keep him from breaking down again. It was true – at least to him. Everything really was his fault. He could have gone to Hunter for help and when the opportunity presented itself, gone to Vince instead but no. He was too proud to ask for any help and now he was paying the price. He was now officially at the lowest point in his life since his breakup with Bret and it hurt. It really, really hurt. He never thought a day like this would come again. The first real break up that he had with Hunter did not come close to this. Not even the off and on relationship with Chris could touch this moment. No. This was by far the lowest point in Shawn's life and the more he thought about it, the more he wished he was in John's place instead. A hospital bed would be more inviting than sitting here feeling miserable. _I'm so sorry John…I'm so very sorry…_

The door of Vince's office clicked and Shawn looked up. Jeff had locked them in and was now taking a seat on the floor in front of him. Shawn looked around the room for Vince but he had gone. It was now just him and Jeff, which scared him a little. "Where's Vince?"

"He's gone," he answered quietly. "I asked him for some time alone with you so we could talk."

"I don't really feel like talking."

"But I do. Please Shawn. Just…even if you don't want to tell me things just hear me out alright?"

"Jeff…"

"Shawn, I can't pretend to understand how you feel because I don't. But I do understand a little bit of what you're going through." Shawn didn't say anything in response so Jeff kept talking hoping that eventually he could reach out to Shawn. "I…my brother and I have been having some problems. We never used to fight and now that we are, it's weird. The disgusted looks that I get from him now…it's enough to make me crazy." Jeff brought his knees to his chest and sighed. "I love my bro. Always have and always will but I had to learn to fail on my own. He's always protected me…looked out for me…even made a lot of personal decisions for me. Hell, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have made it this far ya know? But…when I first got drafted to Smackdown, I was just coming off a bad relationship with Shannon. The guy changed on me at some point and we broke up."

Jeff's throat was starting to knot up again. It's been a long time since he spoke of Shannon. The last time he spoke of him was the night Hunter found him crying in the back of the arena. They were in D.C. that night for a taping of Raw. At the time, Hunter was still apart of DX and had not yet been injured. Hunter was one of the last people to leave the arena that night and just so happens it was his limo that he was leaning against in tears. Hunter took him in for the night and their friendship grew from there. Jeff never thought Hunter would start to look at him in _that_ way but it didn't stop him from loving him.

At first Jeff thought it was just a crush until things started falling apart on Hunter's end as well. His knee injury followed by Vince's decision to put Shawn with Cena as a tag team. It practically devastated Hunter because everyone knew that Cena had a thing for Shawn. He knew – they all knew that it was only a matter of time before Shawn realized the connection that he had with Cena. An injured Hunter watched Raw from his bed at home. He watched week after week as the sexual tension between both men grew and grew until he couldn't take it anymore. That's when Hunter turned to him for support and that support led to a night in paradise for them both. Hot, angry, passionate sex filled with all kinds of raw emotion.

Hunter's knee got better and Jeff was in love but what about Hunter? Jeff was prepared to let him go. He knew about the Shawn-Hunter connection. The two were closer than close so he didn't figure someone like him or Cena could come between them which only made him resent Shawn even more. It was shallow of him; hating Shawn for no good reason but Shawn had Hunter and Jeff had…nobody. _I resented him so much, even after he let Hunter go. _

Weeks later, Hunter made his return to the ring only to be drafted to Smackdown. Even so when Hunter got back, it was pretty obvious that things weren't the same anymore. The two lovers parted ways peacefully and a few months later they were watching him tear the roof down with Chris every week. Of course, everyone knew there was more to the story than just a fiery rivalry. Shawn and Chris dated off and on for a while but things didn't work out. Jeff wasn't sure of the details but he knew this much from backstage gossip. _Gossip I should have ignored. Gossip is what led us here tonight…I'm so ashamed…_ Jeff felt himself wanting to cry so he stood to his feet and headed for the door.

"Please," Shawn said quietly. "Don't…don't go. I don't wanna be alone right now." Jeff wasn't so sure he wanted to stay anymore for fear of what he might say or do. But he stayed anyway. Maybe it was guilt that made him stay or maybe it was curiosity. He didn't know why he was being so open with Shawn but he brushed those thoughts as he reclaimed his seat on the floor. Shawn looked up at him forcing a smile. His eyes were red and there were huge bags under his eyes signifying extreme exhaustion. Jeff half wondered if Shawn was superhuman because anyone else would be falling over dead by now.

"Shawn, you look so tired."

"I _am_ tired but I can't sleep. I'm just too worried about John right now." _Pure adrenaline and will power. That's how he's able to sit up but why all this fuss over John? _Jeff didn't want to admit it, but he too was finding it hard to believe anyone could care about John. Every encounter Jeff ever had with John was an unpleasant one which is why he resented him. _But Shawn doesn't. Shawn spent the entire time crying over John and what they had done to him. I don't know Shawn very well, but my gut tells me he has good reasons. _"I don't hate them." Jeff looked up shocked by the sudden words. "The guys. I don't hate them like I said outside." He took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm just angry with them. I am so…words can't describe my anger right now but I don't hate them. Even if I wanted to, I could never hate them. They've all been apart of my life for so long that I'd hate to lose any of them." Jeff smiled up at him.

"It's not in your nature to hate is it?"

"I don't know. I've never met a person that I absolutely hated…well except JBL but even now when I think about it, I should have tried to get to know him before passing judgment."

"You think so?"

"Well yeah. Ron used to hang out with him about as much as I used to hang with Hunter. If John had somebody who was loyal to him like that then obviously there was something about him that was worth coming back to." Jeff thought about this for a minute and realized that Shawn had a point. Ron was a nice guy and Jeff knew this first hand because he hung out with him a couple of times. If Ron was able to tolerate John then maybe there really was some good in the arrogant Texan.

"I guess you're right. He must be a pretty decent guy after all." Jeff's words made Shawn smile. For the first time all night, Shawn had a genuine smile on his face.

"Yeah he is." Jeff noticed how his eyes seemed to just light up, reminding him of how it used to be with Hunter and Shannon.

"I…If you don't want to talk about him I'll understand."

"No it's fine. I really don't want to talk about him but I'm so tired of carrying this weight that I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't talk."

"Well I have nothing better to do so take as much time as you need," he grinned.

"Actually, I don't even know where to begin. The whole story reads like a bad Lifetime movie and I'm not sure if I can even make it through it."

"Like I said, I really have nothing better to do." Jeff flashed Shawn a smile. He moved from the floor to the couch sitting close to Shawn. "I'm all ears." After a deep breath he slowly began speaking. He started with his conversation with Cenafrom his first night back to Raw. Just recalling that night brought tears to Shawn's eyes. Jeff listened to every word Shawn spoke, getting lost in the whole roller coaster of it all. By the time they reached the part about the rape, Jeff was already in tears and so was Shawn.

"Shawn…Shawn you don't have to say anymore." Shawn shook his head furiously.

"No…I…I gotta tell all of it." Jeff nodded his head and when stopped crying, he picked up where he left off. The hotel room. Shawn recalled how he felt that night but how strangely relieved he felt when John held him in his arms. As the story progressed, Jeff sensed the connection that Shawn was building with John. It was strange at first but the more he listened, the more he realized that John was human like everybody else. "I don't really know why I kissed him that night," Shawn recalled. "I just did it and ever since then, things started to change."

"How…how so?"

"We got closer. He no longer yelled at me and while he went out of his way to avoid me all the time, we still had our share of awkward moments. I didn't know if it was just me but I sensed that something was there. We went out for drinks one Monday night and when we returned to the hotel, he was acting…stranger than usual. I called him out on it. Not to be mean but…I needed to know what he was feeling. I backed him in a corner demanding to know what he was thinking. If he was a bad guy he would have just pushed me away or beat me senseless but he didn't. I got close to him. I forced myself on him and was allowed to touch him...I…I wanted him Jeff. I just _had_ to have him so I kissed him again. This time it was unlike anything I ever felt before. My body was on fire for him and he made my day by kissing me back. He actually kissed me back." Jeff's jaw just dropped. "He pinned me to the wall and I thought we were going to…" Shawn's voice trailed off again. It was getting harder and harder to speak of John.

"Shawn?"

"I'm fine. I…nothing happened Jeff. He slept on the couch and I slept on the bed. When I woke up the next morning he was already gone. I didn't hear from him again until he called me about the changes to the deal."

"He changed it? Was it for the better?"

"For someone else in my position, maybe."

"Oh, so you don't like the new deal?"

"It's a good deal Jeff. A really good deal, but I don't want it."

"Then why'd you take it?"

"Because it will make him happy. I promised him that I would make him happy and this is one promise I want to keep. No one knows John like I know him Jeff. He opened up to me and I've seen things I'm sure no one else has seen before. I…I love him," he cried. "And…and after tonight I want more than ever to leave him knowing that I've made him happy." Shawn turned to Jeff and just sobbed in his chest. As Jeff held him close, a warm feeling came over him. No wonder everyone loved Shawn so much. He was probably the sweetest, bravest, and most selfless person Jeff had ever met and it made him feel bad. All this time, he thought Shawn was an unappreciative jerk who went through men like candy, but he was wrong. He was dead wrong and he promised himself that after tonight, he was going to make a few changes in his life. Shawn pushed away from Jeff shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I…I guess I should get going." Shawn tried to stand on his feet but he stumbled backwards landing right back on the couch.

"Shawn you can't drive anywhere like this. You'll kill yourself."

"I can call a—

"You can shut up and get some sleep. No one's going to bother us. Vince gave us the office for the night and we're going to take advantage of it." Jeff walked across the room and picked up a WWE blanket that had been draped over another couch. He kicked off his shoes, rids himself of his tee then sat back down next to Shawn. "We're sleeping here tonight so no arguing."

"What about Hu—

"To hell with Hunter." Shawn blinked a few times, taken back by Jeff's tone. He certainly wasn't expecting this and though it was touching how much Jeff resented Hunter's actions, Shawn knew love was too hard to find to just give up on so easily.

"You don't mean that."

"I do. I really do. That selfish bastard—

"Loves you very much," he finished. Shawn cupped his face looking Jeff straight in the eye. He needed Jeff to understand for both their sakes that giving up on Hunter wasn't the solution.

"Shawn…"

"I have no ill will towards Hunter about our break up and I have no ill feelings towards you. I'll always love him but not the way you can love him."

"But Shawn," Jeff choked. "After…after what he did tonight…after the pain he put you through…"

"Even I can understand that he did it out of love, even if it _was_ the wrong thing to do. Give him another chance Jeff. I'm sure he loves you very much and will be devastated beyond reason if he lost a gem like you." Jeff was crying again and he didn't know what to do with himself. He pressed his head to Shawn's, gripping his shoulders, sobbing from the pain. "It's alright. It's going to be alright," Shawn whispered. Jeff managed to nod but not before his lips brushed Shawn's. Before he realized what he was doing, he was gripping Shawn's shoulders and kissing his lips. For a moment they both just let go; Jeff's mouth dominating Shawn's while he clung to Jeff for support. Jeff suddenly pulled away from Shawn having run out breath. He looked at Shawn and he lowered his head in shame.

"I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything…I just…"

"I know, but let's just get some sleep now. I really don't think I can stay awake any longer." Jeff nodded his head. They both stretched out on the couch; Jeff with his back to the cushioning and Shawn lying in front of him. Jeff threw the blanket over them and in no time both were fast asleep.

* * *

AN: It's after 3am and I am sleepy. I hope that there are no errors (fat chance) but I hope you at least can understand what's going on. Spent a good couple of hours on this so I hope it's okay. And if not, feel free to point out something that's unclear and I'll fix it later. Also, if you absolutly don't get something, I'll be happy to explain in a note on the next chapter. Good night.


	24. Silent Confessions & Understanding

AN: Some of you may already know this but for those of you who don't, I am going to tell you now that this may very well be my absolute last fanfic. I know. I don't want to think about it but if I ever hope to get my original vampire fic published, I need to actually work on it. All of the hard work I put into writing fanfics could be used to benefit myself ya know? I don't say this as an insult to fanfiction itself. Just the thought of not writing fanfics makes me sad. I love writing for you guys and I love writing wrestling stories period. They are my heart and soul of writing. And you people are the most wonderful readers and it really helps having that direct feedback. However, with graduation coming up, I need to get to work on my manuscripts and fast. I also have to start studying for that dreaded LSAT. Now, I do plan to finish my other stories from both account. I just won't be devoting as much time to them as I have done with this one and when I'm done, I'm really done. I love you all. Thanks so much for supporting me and I hope you guys look out for me. You'll be the first to sample anything that my brain comes up with. Also, if you want to be added to my email list then let me know and I'll add you. Anyone interested in Vampire stories then I'll be glad to send them the first few chapters. After that, I can only pray that it's as good as my creative writing teacher says. It will take a lot to beat Stephanie Meyer or Anne Rice but I'm up for the challenge. Anyway, kind of an emotional chapter here so buck up and get ready...

* * *

_The closer I get to you  
The more you make me see  
By giving me all you've got  
Your love has captured me_

**~*~*~**_  
_

When Shawn finally woke the next day, it was well past noon. He quickly sat up on the couch, blinking his eyes furiously to adjust to the light. _Where am…Oh I'm still in Vince's office. Last night…_

"I was starting to wonder if you'd wake up at all." Shawn looked around to see Jeff sitting on top of Vince's desk, his legs dangling out front. _He's still here…sweet kid. Hunter's so lucky._

"Wha…what time is it?"

"It's a little after twelve. I started to wake you up but you were finally sleeping so well that I didn't have the heart to."

"Finally?" he asked with a frown.

"Yeah. You…I think maybe you had a few nightmares. You cried once or twice in your sleep and even said some…things," he winced.

"Oh…God…I'm…what did I say?" Jeff waved it off with shrug.

"Nothing important," he grinned. "All that matters is that you managed to get some rest." Shawn smiled at the younger man.

"I…suppose you're right, but what about you?"

"Oh please," he smirked. "The Extreme Enigma doesn't need eight hours of sleep to function." Jeff hopped down from the desk. "So how about I give you a ride to the hospital?"

"Huh?"

"Oh come on Shawn. I know you want to see him." _You cried out for him several times during the night so you must be worried sick…_

"Yeah, but maybe its best if I stay away until Sunday. That way he won't be reminded of the pain I've caused him."

"But Shawn if you don't go see him he might start thinking that you never cared at all and you don't want that. I know you don't." _You love him so much that I almost envy him…_

"Jeff—

Jeff moved to stand in front of Shawn. Looking into his eyes, he grabbed his hands and kissed the back of them.

"Last night before our talk, I decided to leave Hunter. I wanted nothing more to do with someone so violent and thoughtless but you made me realize something. Hunter…that's just the way he is and in order for any relationship to last, you gotta take the good with the bad. Hunter's never done anything to hurt me so I would have been leaving him for nothing ya know?"

"Yeah."

"So I'm going to talk with him later today. Tell him how I feel about a few things but I'm not leaving him. You were right last night to say that I love him because I do. I…I don't really wanna let him go…just like you don't really wanna let John go either."

"But I have no choice Jeff." Jeff sighed.

"Well, I guess if you feel that strongly about it then I have to take your word for it. But you should at least go and see him. You'll feel better once you know he's alright." _And maybe you'll change your mind. You changed mine and I'd hate to see someone so caring end up sad and alone…_

"I…well alright. I guess I can do that."

"Great! Let's go."

**~*~*~**

_Over and over again, I try to tell myself that we  
Could never be more than friends, And all the while inside  
I knew it was real...The way you make me feel..._

**~*~*~**_  
_

When John Layfield finally woke up, he realized that it wasn't all a dream like he hoped it would be. He was really here lying in a hospital bed covered with all kinds of bandages for God knows what.

"About time you wake up Tiger." John cocked his head to the right to find his sister coming towards him. There was a small recliner behind her that had a black throw on it. He deducted that she'd spent the night watching over him. _Someone must have called her but I wonder who? _

"Mer…wow I sound terrible."

"You should sick boy." She placed the back of her hand on his head. "Hmm…well your fever is gone so that's good."

"Wonderful. So when can I leave this place?"

"Not today."

"Well how about tomorrow?"

"Not tomorrow either."

"But Mer, I need to be out of here before Sunday! You know I got a big match coming up and I need to prepare for it. Cena may be a rookie but he's no pushover."

"Yeah well I could care less about your stupid match John!" she snapped. "God, is that all you care about? You could have been killed last night and for what?"

"Hey don't you start with me about that Mer. I'm not in the mood to hear it from you."

"As your sister I have the right to know what happened!"

"I'm not…going to talk about it Mer. It's in the past now and I'd just like to move on."

"Did it have something to do with Shawn?" she asked softly. John's face showed the slightest hint of sadness but just as quickly, it was replaced by a face void of anything. _If it was about Shawn then I am proud of him. But I doubt that. John's always been a loner and a work-a-holic, caring only about business. Somehow this just screams business but I can't be sure… God I don't know what to think right now! _"John…John I worry about you." She let out a sigh, looking at her brother with fear in her eyes. "I could have lost you last night ya know? You…you lost so much blood. You were unconscious and when Vince called me…" Her voice trailed off for a second but she cleared her throat, forcing herself to continue. "The point is John, am I going to have to constantly worry about you from now on? Do I…do I need to expect this kind of thing to happen again?" John turned away from his sister and remained silent. _Why doesn't he care? Why does he treat this as if its no big deal?_ When she never got her answer, she angrily stormed out of the room to report his condition to one of the other doctors.

Meanwhile John just laid there thinking to himself. It wasn't just a dream. He really had the shit beat out of him and he was in here as proof. But still… The only thing on his mind right now was Shawn. _How is Shawn doing? Did he manage to leave the arena before seeing him like this? _These were just a few questions that ran through his mind worrying him like crazy. _I know I shouldn't be thinking of him but I can't help it. The way he looked at me sometimes…I could almost swear that he… But I know he doesn't care for me like that and why should he? I…I hurt him so badly…_ John closed his eyes fighting back the tears as he recalled some of the times he hurt Shawn.

"_**THEN LEAVE! YOU PISS ME OFF ANYWAY!" He grabbed Shawn's arm dragging him towards the door. **_

"_**John…John wait a second…"**_

"_**Oh no. You say you hate me? Then fine. Hate me…and my money too. Make sure when you speak at Bret's funeral you tell his family that you let him die all because you're a selfish little brat!"**_

"_**No…John wait. Don't…DON'T DO THIS! YOU KNOW I CAN'T LEAVE!" he cried.**_

"_**Oh so you wanna stay? You hate my guts but you love my money?"**_

"_**Something like that but…I mean…"**_

"_**GET OUT!" John screamed. He opened the door for Shawn waiting for him to leave but instead, he ended up getting a punch in the face. Shawn slammed the door shut and stood in his face defiantly.**_

"_**I'm not leaving."**_

"_**Then you will do what I say or pay the price."**_

"_**Like I have much of a choice anyway," he grumbled. JBL was now furious. He grabbed Shawn's shoulders slamming him against the door. He placed a strong hand around Shawn's neck and began to squeeze slowly watching as Shawn's face began turning shades of pink and then blue.**_

"_**John…please…I…I can't breathe…" he choked.**_

_I used guilt to make him stay with me. I knew he would do anything for Bret or any of his friends because he's a good guy who loves with all his heart. Instead of actually being nice to him or treating this deal like a regular business deal, I tried to take advantage of him for my own selfish pleasures and now…now I'm so sorry. I deserved that punch in the face and I deserved that beating last night. Even so, I still wish I could keep him. I never thought…I wanted to believe it could really happen and when it did I just freaked out…_

"John?"

"Mer. So what did the doc say?" He quickly wiped his eyes hoping, praying that she wouldn't say anything but she did.

"Were you crying just now?" she asked incredulously.

"No so just answer the damn question," he snapped irritably.

"Fine! He said you can leave tomorrow."

"Oh good. Now bring me some work to do. I can't just sit here and let my brain rot."

"But you should be…"

"Mer, please. Just…get me a newspaper. Anything! I need something to take my mind off of the pain I'm in." It was a lie. Sure his body ached but it wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be. In fact, he could barely keep his eyes open from the drugs let alone feel any pain but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She finally let out a sigh before turning to leave. She returned moments later with his cell phone and a briefcase. "Your driver gave me these things last night. Don't work too hard John. I really need you to rest or you really won't be competing this Sunday."

"Yes dear."

**~*~*~**

_Sweeter and sweeter love grows, And heaven's there for those  
Who fool the tricks of time, With hearts in love will find...  
**True love**_

**~*~*~**

"Excuse me nurse. Could you tell us what room John Layfield is in?" Shawn stood there nervously waiting as Jeff spoke with the nurses.

"I'm sorry dear but I was told that Mr. Layfield would not be accepting any visitors."

"But…not even close friends?"

"I'm sorry dear but I'm afraid not."

"Oh…well thank you," Jeff mumbled. He turned to Shawn wincing. "I'm sorry Shawn. I'm really sorry." Shawn forced a smile.

"Naa it's cool. I don't even know why I bothered. John's a very private person and he wouldn't have wanted me or anyone else for that matter, to see him lying in a hospital bed. He would think it disgraceful."

"What is he? Royalty?" Jeff joked. Shawn just smiled. _Yeah…He is in a way._

"Well uh…guess we should get going."

"Hey…HEY SHAWN?" Both guys turned to see a tall blonde lady coming up the hall. She had a frown on her face but as she got closer, her face showed signs of recognition and relief underneath the tired bags under her eyes.

"Meredith?" _Wow. She looks like she hadn't slept in days…_

"Oh Shawn!" She hurried and threw her arms around him embracing him.

"Uh…hi," he said nervously. "Oh um…Meredith this is Jeff." She stuck out her hand.

"Nice to meet you," she said warmly. "So what's up? How have you been since…?" She cast Jeff a wary look but Shawn waved it off.

"It's alright Mer. He knows about...my little incident."

"Oh alright. So now seriously how have you been? Did the medicines I gave you help a little?"

"They helped me a lot actually and I'm indebted to you. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask."

"Oh…well, it was nothing," she grinned. But her grin soon faded and her face became one filled with sadness. Jeff glanced at Shawn to see if he noticed it too but Shawn was staring down at the floor, ignoring the awkward silence.

"So uh...Meredith. We actually dropped by to see if John was okay. Would it be possible to see him or is he really not taking any visitors?"

"Well…"

"You know Jeff, maybe we should go," Shawn cut in. "John needs his rest and I'm actually kind of tired so…"

"Tired my ass! You stayed up half the night worrying about him!"

"Is this true?" Meredith asked. Shawn glared at Jeff, his face turning redder by the second.

"Don't glare at me. You know I'm telling the truth. You were worried sick about your friend and I think you'll feel better once you see for yourself that he's okay."

"Well then," Mer laughed. "That's all I needed to hear. Of course you guys can visit. Mind you he's a bit grouchy this morning, but he'll just have to get over it. It's not everyday that I find out he has actual friends. Come on. Follow me." Jeff grabbed Shawn's hand holding it as they followed Meredith. After a short elevator ride, they got off on the fifth floor. A right turn and three doors later they were standing outside a door that read 'JBL'. You could not see inside because he had the blinds closed but Shawn expected it. John was a very private person so it was only fitting that he'd have the blinds closed; that and the fact that he was a start were motivating enough. "Well gentlemen, I'll leave you here. I'm going to grab a cup of coffee but I'll be back shortly. Like I said, he's a grouch in the mornings but he'll get over your intrusion eventually." And with that she was off down the hall leaving the guys behind. Jeff suddenly turned to Shawn.

"Well friend, this is it. You go on ahead and I'll wait out here."

"But…I thought you were coming with me? I can't…what if he doesn't want to see me? What if he blames me for last night? What if—

Jeff cut him off with a kiss on his lips. He pulled away a second later shaking his head.

"My God you worry more than Matty! Go on inside and see that man or else I'll open the door and pull you in myself."

"No, Jeff. You don't understand…" Jeff lowered the handle of the door until it clicked. The door swung open silently and before Shawn could start protesting, Jeff got behind him shoving him inside. John did not look up which kind of surprised him considering how much racket he and Jeff were making outside the door but he thanked God for small favors. The first thing Shawn noticed was that John had on a pair of reading glasses going over paper work in bed. Shawn couldn't stop the smile from creeping up on his face. _Even when he's hurting he still finds time to work._ Shawn decided to just stand there and watch him for a while. He was in no hurry to get back to lonely hotel room plus he always got great amusement by watching his boss work. He didn't have long to watch though. Only a minute or two passed before John finally looked up.

"Sh…Shawn?"

"I'm…sorry John. You seemed to be working so hard on something that I didn't want to interrupt."

"No, no it's…" _He's actually here…_ "It's fine. Please. Take a seat."

"No, I…I won't trouble you too long. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." John smiled at him. _God he's perfect. He really cares and it shows…_

"I'm…I'm doing fairly well actually." Shawn grabbed a folding chair and took a seat next to John.

"Are you sure?" he asked. He didn't dare look him in the eye for fear of revealing too much about how he was feeling. John put his paper work to the side, deciding that time spent with his ex employee was more important. He placed a hand on the top of Shawn's head curling his fingers in the silkiness.

"Of course I'm okay kitten. I'm a Texan and we Texans are tough." Without looking up, Shawn reached up and took his hand bringing it to his chest where he just held it closely. A weird tension that was all too familiar to John now, crept up on them. However, this time there was something different about it. There was a warmth; an understanding of the silence this time – like the two of them were communicating feelings without words. Neither one really understood it but it didn't matter. The one thing they did understand was the comfort they gained from one another's presence.

A few weeks ago, if Shawn Michaels would have held his hand like this, he would have screamed at him for being unprofessional. It was common knowledge. Business partners never let emotions get in the way of business. That was always the way John did things but somewhere down the line, John let his guard down and the impossible happened. He started to care for a business partner in ways he never imagined. As he watched the blonde holding his hand, a part of him wondered why and how. Just how did this happen? Why did it happen? And the biggest question of them all, is it true love? There was no doubt in his mind after last night that he was in love with the man sitting next to him but what can he do about it? After Sunday, it will be all over. There will be no more JBL Enterprises and Shawn Michaels, number 1 employee. It will just be JBL. John Bradshaw Layfield. All alone again the way it's always been and he hated it. For the first time in his life, the thought of being completely alone again was enough to make him cry like a baby. He had gotten used to it. Somewhere down the line, he got used to coming back to the hotel finding his kitten curled up on the bed watching TV. Or laying in the floor thinking about God knows what. Sometimes he would even lay next to him in bed, his warm body fitting perfectly next to his. _And after Sunday it'll all be over and done with. He'll never have to see me or talk with me again. Even our storyline will be over and that's alright with me. I may have to let him go but I'll keep all the things I learned from him – all the happiness I gained from being with him, in my heart. This deal… I know this is the right thing to do. He'll be free from me and if that's what makes him happy then so be it. I've had a lifetime of selfish pleasures but this is one time I can give back._ _Sacrificing my love for him… It's the least I can do after all of my wrongdoing…_

John felt himself wanting to cry all over again but he didn't want Shawn to see. He didn't need to let himself cry in front of him because it would only complicate things. John's lip began to quiver and he shut his eyes, hoping that he could suppress his tears. _Please God…Don't make me cry right now… _

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry John." John tried to open his mouth to respond but knew that if he tried, he would break down in tears. Instead, he gave Shawn's hand a gentle squeeze hoping that would be enough. And it was. Shawn seemed to understand the confusing dilemma for he didn't try to make John answer. Another minute passed of dead silence until Shawn finally rose to his feet. He looked down at John who by now had gained some sort of composure over himself. "I should get going."

"Oh…okay then." Shawn held onto John's hand only half aware that he was still holding it. His thumb caressed the back of it while he fought an internal battle of his own. Meanwhile, John closed his eyes, waiting…wondering if he could hold it together. His lip started quivering again for reasons unknown and it was only a matter of time before he lost it. His good resolve was secretly willing Shawn to go. Just go he pleaded but his body said differently. The gentle thumb moving across the back of his hand…John feared that that caressing was the only thing keeping him together. If Shawn were to let go – to leave him like that then God help him! John felt warm breath creep up on his face. His body tensed; his lip steady quivering. _What's he doing? Do I dare open my eyes?_ John felt himself being enclosed by silk, brushing his bare shoulder and tickling his face sending chills through him that almost shook his soul. _He can't…not again. Shawn don't do this to me! Don't make me feel! I'm…I'm not ready…I can't…_

"John," he breathed. Shawn's lips found John's slightly parted ones engulfing him in a kiss that made his head reel. John fought it at first, holding back like he said he would but not for long. He reached behind Shawn's head pulling him closer, crushing their lips together. Mind and body were tugging him in opposite directions. _Don't kiss him! Kiss him! John you're losing yourself! Think of your promise!_

"Shawn…Shawn no!" he cried. Shawn froze on the spot, his lips still pressed to John's. For a moment neither man moved nor said a word. Shawn lowered his head, his tears leaving wet trails on John's face.

"If I know what love is, it is because of you. _Et à cause de vous, j'ai trouvé mon un vrai amour._" John's eyes widened, his heart raced and then…

"Shawn—

Shawn quickly left the room before John could speak. It was too painful and he had to get out of there. When Shawn emerged from the room, he needn't say anything. Everything Jeff needed to know was clearly written all over his face. Jeff took Shawn by the hand and they left together; Shawn thinking of Sunday and Jeff of Hunter. There was a lot to do between now and Sunday but both men's minds were made up and nothing, not a thing in this world could make them turn back now. After all, it was for the best and in the end, that's all that really matters.

* * *

**AN: Again with the script, no cheating. No looking up the translation. Ha Ha A few of you already speak French so you know what just happened. But for those of you who don't, I'd rather you not cheat. Will make the pill easier to swallow should we get to such a nasty pill. Also, the lyrics are from a song by Luther Vandross and Beyonce Knowles titled 'The Closer I Get to You'. Someone should totally do a OST to it. It's a beautiful, heartwrenching song. I cried thinking of these two. Just a thought.  
**


	25. Connecting and Reconnecting

_Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear._**~~~John Lennon**

***~*~***

Hunter did not get any sleep at all that night. He tossed and turned for several hours wondering whether or not Jeff would come back. He also – though he hated to admit it – thought about John as well. They roughed him up pretty bad, maybe even cracked a few bones but that was nothing compared to what they originally had planned. _Thank God that Jeff tagged along. Jeff… _Hunter sat up all night reflecting on his relationship with Jeff. It was not easy getting to where they are today. Shannon screwed with Jeff's head so much that by the time they started dating, Jeff had lost all hope of ever meeting someone who cared for him, the _real_ Jeff Hardy. Then there was Hunter's relationship with Shawn which was still in effect, at least physically. Hunter and Shawn were still sleeping together but there came a point when both men realized that's all it was and that's all it would ever be. _Cena…_ Shawn fell in love with Cena when Hunter was hurt and it was completely accidental. Same could be said about Hunter who loved Jeff when he was moved to Smackdown. Jeff of course, lashed out at Hunter when he first confessed because Jeff felt that no one could ever take Shawn's place.

It was true, but then it was also a lie. Sure no one would ever replace Shawn or could ever give him what Shawn gave him but then, Jeff could give what Shawn could not – true love. _Shawn and I love each other but we never can seem to make it work. Shawn… The way he looked at Cena sometimes… There was a time when I would have killed to have him look at me that way._ Hunter realized that it just wasn't going to work and in the end they mutually parted ways…well after he cheated. He never meant to cheat on Shawn but at the time he was so sure Shawn was already sleeping with Cena that he threw all thoughts out the window when Jeff seduced him. By the time their lips touched, it was too late. There was no turning back…

"_God Jeff…" Jeff pulled Hunter down on top of him, their lips meeting for a crushing kiss._

"_I don't care," Jeff breathed. "I want you." Hunter's hands fumbled trying to unbutton Jeff's pants while Jeff sucked on the nape of his neck. "God Hunter hurry. I need you inside me." Hunter pulled away just enough to rid Jeff of his pants before scrambling on top of him again. Jeff spread his legs welcoming Hunter._

"_Are…are you sure?"_

"_God yes! Just do it!" Hunter thrust inside of him, Jeff's hot, tight muscles surrounding him beautifully. He bit down into Jeff's neck, thrusting faster and harder while the smaller man arched into him._

"_Fuck yes Hunter! I…I love you." Hunter covered his mouth, thrusting deeper and harder a few more times until his body trembled madly from his orgasm._

"_Ahhhh fuck!" he cried, spilling himself inside of Jeff…_

Hunter closed his eyes as a single tear ran down his cheek. _I…I miss him. I want him back. _Hunter heard a soft knock and his body froze. _Is it all in my head or… _They knocked again and Hunter quickly rolled out of bed. He raced to the door hoping, praying even that it would be Jeff. _Please… Please let it be him…_ He took a deep breath and opened the door. He'd barely registered who it was before arms were engulfing him in warmth. Hunter wrapped his arms around Jeff and they both just cried; Jeff sobbing into Hunter's chest while Hunter shed silent tears of joy. After a while Jeff looked up at his man with a serious expression on his face.

"We need to talk."

**~xx~**

John was the first to wake the next morning and pretty early too. He took a deep breath inhaling the sweet smell of the Deadman laying next to him. Not wanting to wake him, John slowly lifted his head so he could get a good look at his sleeping body. Mark's head was cocked slightly to the side, his long dark hair covering half of his face. Not being able to resist, John reached up and moved the hair to the side revealing pale lips that were dry from the circulating air in the room. John bit his lower lip, resisting the urge to wet them for him but it was hard. John sighed as he lay back down next to Mark. He thought about the first time he laid eyes on him. It was right after he won _'Tough Enough'_. One of his trainers Al Snow brought him along for a taping of Monday Night Raw. He sat backstage watching the different wrestlers discuss possible match outcomes and stretch for their matches. Mark was one of them. He was in a fiery feud opposite Dave Bautista and the two of them were having a discussion about their next promo. Mark was dressed in normal clothes then wearing some tight blue jeans that were rugged and worn with worker's boots and a white tee. His hair hung freely, just stopping at his broad shoulders. He looked absolutely dangerous yet gorgeous too. John just couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Of course he was too afraid to say anything to him then and nothing really changed once he started wrestling. John was drafted to ECW but wrestled regularly on Smackdown as well. He would always stand idly by watching Mark on the sly as he changed for matches or talked with some of his buddies, which were few in number. John wanted so badly to approach Mark and befriend him, but whenever he caught Mark alone something always came up preventing him from approaching him. John gave up on him after a while but just his good luck he managed to bump right into him a few weeks ago. _Just my good luck…and my bad luck._ He couldn't describe the feeling of having Mark tower over him. It was unlike anything he ever felt before. His massive height should have scared the hell out of him but instead, it stimulated his senses turning him on in ways Mark couldn't possibly understand. John thought that finally, finally he had an excuse to approach the man next time for a real conversation but instead, he ended up being the prey, and not in a good way. Their first conversation ended on bad terms. Mark was pissed off about the rumors traveling around about his good friend and who could blame him? The things people were saying about Shawn were humiliating and it was only natural for someone like Mark to get upset. With Shawn being a veteran and a well respected future Hall of Famer, it was literally a slap in the face to them both when people tried to smear his good name. _I learned from my mistake thanks to Mark. I hope he understands that I've changed._

John shifted a little hoping that he didn't wake Mark. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable due to the annoying tingle in his pants. Every time he thought about Mark towering over him, it made his body tingle and his mind think terribly dirty things about the two of them. John chanced a glance at the sleeping man's face again. He was still sound asleep, lost in his peaceful dreams. John ghosted his hand across Mark's chest getting lost in the outline of his perfect abs. _What a body…_ John's finger slid gracefully up and down Mark's stomach stopping at the band around his waist. Mark's waist band was acting as a shield preventing John from getting out of line. _But I want to touch him… _

John carefully slid his hand over the waist band, his hands taking in the feel of the smooth silk against the palm of his hand. He stopped when he reached Mark's huge bulge and just ran a finger up and down his length through the silky material. Mark shifted a little in his sleep but he still did not awaken. John's lips curled into a smile. _God I hope he doesn't kill me._ He suddenly worked up the nerve to wrap his hand around Mark's length. He moved his hand stroking him slowly until he felt Mark's member start to harden. Mark shifted again, mumbling something incoherent which made John snicker. _This is too much fun._ He stroked him a little bit faster being careful not to tug him. Soon Mark's member was standing erect through his boxers and John was curious to have a look. John carefully rolled over straddling Mark's waist. He slid his hands up Mark's body, out and over his chest then leaned forward brushing his lips against his.

"Mn…John…" Mark mumbled in his sleep. John froze on the spot, wondering if Mark was really asleep. He ran his tongue across Mark's lips teasing them until they parted. John seized the moment kissing him like he'd always wanted. Mark's eyes suddenly fluttered open then went wide with surprise at what he saw. He thought he was dreaming. He thought that last night never really happened and that John was in his own room with Mike but no… John was really there lying on top of him kissing his lips and he was too stunned to do anything about it. John's lips left Mark's to lick and suck at his neck. Mark gasped at the sensation unable to control himself. It's been a while since he's been with anyone, let alone anyone brave enough to try and seduce him. John's nipping and sucking was starting to drive Mark crazy. _What a way to wake up… Painfully hard and getting harder…_

John suddenly lifted his head meeting Mark's gaze. For a moment neither man said a word. Mark of course, was unsure of what to do next. While he really, really liked the kid, he still wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do. Still, that didn't change the fact that he was painfully aroused and in desperate need of relief. The kid seemed to understand Mark's dilemma so he wasted no time engaging Mark in another kiss. He wanted Mark. He _needed _Mark and by God he was going to have him! John tore his lips away and started kissing down Mark's chest.

"K…Kid," he stammered. "John…are you sure you know…Ahhhh God!" John shut him up by slipping his hand in his boxers, clasping his already erect member. He refused to give Mark a chance to get away. This time there would be no interruptions. Just him and Mark. He pulled Mark's cock out and quickly covered him with his mouth. "Oh God kid!" he screamed. It was good. It felt so good that he feared he would cum too soon. John's tongue worked magic on his cock, licking the sides, teasing the head then engulfing him all over again. John's mouth was hot and tight, just perfect for him. Mark gripped the sheets thrusting his hips forward until he felt his knees giving away. "Oh John I'm about to…Ahhhh!" John licked his lips then took Mark deep in his mouth letting the warm substance slide down his throat. Mark laid back against the sheets catching his breath. He waited to see what the kid would do next but John did nothing. He just stared at Mark biting his lip like he was holding back. Mark grinned. _I love this kid._

"Come here," he growled. John obediently crawled over to him but taken completely by surprise when Mark grabbed him pulling him into a kiss. "You…are…such…a…trip," he murmured. He pulled away smiling at the kid. John's erection was pressing against his thigh and it was more than turning him on again. "Take me." John's eyes got real big and he looked a little scared but Mark kissed his lips again reassuring him it was okay. "Go ahead. I dare you." John licked his lips.

"It'll be my pleasure," he whispered. Mark watched fascinated as John rid himself of his shorts before turning over. _Oh man he's so fucking hot…_ John coated his pretty sizable cock with lotion then took hold of Mark's hips. Mark hissed as he felt John enter him slowly. John waited while Mark wiggled around adjusting to the size of John's cock. John moved in and out of him slowly.

"Oh fuck John," he moaned. The kid grinned and started moving faster, filling Mark completely. John was nailing Mark's prostate with each and every thrust driving the big man insane. "Fuck kid…harder! Fuck me harder!" John gripped his hips tighter slamming into him. Mark gripped the sheets tighter, loving the way the kid pounded into him.

"Mmm…Mark…fuck you're so good…I'm about to cum…" He slammed him harder and harder, moaning Mark's name. "Ahhh!" John held Mark tight, filling him with his cum as they both peaked. Mark rolled over and John collapsed on top of him, both breathing hard from their lovemaking. Mark combed his fingers through John's perfect hair chuckling to himself.

"What's so funny?" John breathed. He was still high from his orgasm which made Mark chuckle even more.

"You," he answered. "I knew you were a little daredevil but I never imagined you'd do something like this." John raised his head a little looking at his lover.

"Why is that?"

"I…don't know. Maybe it's the age difference. Fuck John I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I never thought you were interested in me like _that_ ya know what I mean?"

"Yeah but why wouldn't I be?"

"Well…fuck kid this is hard for me," he sighed. "I…Just a few weeks ago Trips was telling me to lose my creepy guy persona and open up more. I was feeling kind of down. I got onto him about Shawn and then seeing him with Jeff… Made me kind of jealous. Anyway, the point is I just…never thought I'd find someone interested in a guy like me – and so soon." John slid his body up Mark's enough to plant a slow, lingering kiss on his lips.

"I've been interested in you since the first day I started wrestling for Vince. I'm pretty sure I loved you then and I love you now." Mark's jaw just dropped. _Love? Did this kid just tell me he loved me?_

"You…love me?" It was…shocking. It was absurd. It was…crazy, but he was sure he felt the same way too. _God I love this kid! So unpredictable…_

"Yeah. I do," he grinned. "But if you don't love me back it's cool. I'll still love you no matter what. And unless there's someone else you're planning on going after then I'm going to follow you around like a lost puppy." Mark could only laugh.

"Then maybe I should get you a leash then." He pressed his lips to John's mouth tasting his sweet lips again.

"I'd like that," he whispered before Mark ravished his new love beginning round two.

**~xx~**

Hunter followed Jeff back into their room and waited for him to speak. Jeff paced the room for a minute or two then he started speaking.

"I spent the night at the arena…in Vince's office with Shawn."

"Oh…Wow uh… Wasn't expecting that." _Especially since you hate him._ Hunter took a seat on the edge of the bed while Jeff stood over him. Hunter tried to read the expression on his face but he was drawing a blank. It was enough to make him crazy. Just what was Jeff about to say to him?

"I…I know. I mean, I wasn't planning on it ya know. It just sort of happened." Hunter didn't know what to say so he waited. He hadn't a clue what Jeff was getting at but he hoped to God that it wasn't… _No…He wouldn't…Shawn wouldn't…_ He shook the thought from his mind. Jeff was his and his alone so he had no worries right? "It was a pretty interesting night Hunter. Very informative. Learned a few things about him and myself."

"Like?"

"Shawn and I are a lot alike. That is to say, we both share some of the same interests."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Jeff stopped pacing the room to look his lover in the eye. "I kissed him last night Hunter and you know what? I liked it." Jeff waited for Hunter to blow up at him but he did not. Instead Hunter lowered his head staring at the floor.

"I guess I deserved that."

"Yeah. I guess you did but the thing is Hunter, it did nothing for me or for him." Hunter's head shot up, his face showing signs of relief. "I enjoyed the kiss I shared with him. It was full of raw hunger and passion brought on from layers of built up tension. Not necessarily tension between us but I think it was kind of a release for the both of us." Jeff finally took a seat next to Hunter. "Look Hunter, after seeing what you did last night, a part of me was ready to walk out that door and never come back. But Shawn…Shawn actually forgave you for what you did to John and if he can forgive you so can I. I love you Hunter but sometimes you really push the envelope."

"I know Jeff and I'm sorry. It's just…if you were in Shawn's place I'd have done the same thing."

"And I get that now but you can't…you can't just do things like that without taking everyone's feelings into consideration."

"You mean Shawn's feelings right?"

"Yeah I do." Jeff sighed. "Hunter, I know you don't like John and neither do I but I know for a fact that Shawn loves John and we can't interfere with true love." Hunter shook his head furiously.

"No, no, no, Shawn doesn't love—

"Why is it so hard for you to accept that?" Jeff snapped. "Is it because John's beneath you? If that's how you feel Hunter then I'm half a mind to walk out that door right now."

"How Jeff?" he yelled. "How can you say that? Did Shawn tell you that?"

"As a matter of fact he did!" Jeff huffed. "And you…you weren't there last night Hunter. You didn't hear his side of the story. I…I bawled half the night after listening to the hell he's been through. You guys…That's where you went wrong. You guys _think _you know what's been going on. You…_all_ of you are fucking clueless! That rape had absolutely nothing to do with John!"

"And the deal? What of the deal he struck with John?" Jeff glared at Hunter.

"That so called deal _Hunter_ was made to protect Bret Hart and no, Shawn has _not_ slept with John. In fact, besides the one real fight they had over a month ago, John hasn't touched Shawn in weeks. They've never even had sex and probably never will."

"Then…then what kind of deal…?"

"John apparently offered Shawn a deal in order to help him out but of course with Jibble, there's always a catch. His real intention in the beginning was to parade Shawn around as his lover and side kick for show. Shawn would endure public humiliation on screen while off screen, becoming his sex toy…well, at least that's how Shawn perceived it."

"So you mean to tell me that John never took Shawn up on the 'sex toy' part of the deal?" Hunter asked. _This…this is crazy. Who wouldn't sleep with Shawn? _Jeff shook his head.

"Nope. Shawn inquired John about it once but it led to a heated argument. John told him to just let it go and so he did. But just a few days ago, Shawn discovered something that made him rethink the entire deal with John."

"What? What'd he find out?"

"I don't know of you've seen it, but Shawn has a bracelet that was given to him by Jibble the day after they cut the deal. It has an inscription on it carved in French and Shawn was asked to never take it off."

"Like a leash right? Er…some kind of reminder that Shawn belongs to John."

"That's what it used to be but Shawn thinks otherwise and so do I."

"So what's it mean? What does the inscription say?" Jeff smiled.

"It says _Si je sais ce qu'est l'amour, c'est à cause de vous, _which means _if I know what love is, it's because of you_."

"Wha…what? Are you…? Get out."

"Melina told him what it meant a few days ago which is why Shawn's been so distraught. John's behavior has been so sporadic. He yells at Shawn to push him away but then there are times when they are locked in moments of heated passion. Shawn's been trying to figure a lot of things out lately and now that he knows what John's real intention might have been, it's only made him love the guy even more. He was honestly trying to change Hunter and I think he has. They…I saw them. I watched them through a crack in the blinds interact and you can tell that they love each other so much." Just thinking about the way Shawn kissed John brought tears to Jeff's eyes. _I felt passion when he kissed me as well...so sad..._

"Wow. I didn't…I mean I never would have figured…"

"You told me a long time ago that Shawn has the power to change people and I think he did that…with John. But… If you really hate the idea of seeing the two of them together then I don't think you have to worry too much."

"Why you say that?"

"Shawn…John told him that if he helps him beat Cena on Sunday then he's free to go."

"Just like that?"

"Yep. Just like that. Only thing is, John's already paid the debt off for Bret so technically Shawn's free to go now if he chooses."

"But he's not," Hunter finished softly. _Shawn won't leave if he loves him..._ He shook his head, the realization of everything overwhelming him with feelings of guilt and hurt. "I…damn I fucked up." Jeff threw his arms around his lover.

"I'd be lying if I said you didn't but you did – and big time. But give him some time. He loves you so much Hunter, just as much as I love you. He just needs some time ya know? He's struggling with so many things right now and he's going to be a wreck unless somebody talks some sense into JBL. Shawn really wants to be with him but he thinks John will be better off without him." Hunter quirked his brow.

"I know…you're not suggesting…?"

"I'm not saying you should do anything. I was just putting it out there. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to lay down for a while. I was up all night and I'm totally beat."

"So…so you and I…are we…?"

"Of course we're cool dummy. I love you too much to throw it all away but tread lightly Hunter. I'm still pissed at you about last night but I'm willing to let it slide if you start minding your own business." Hunter pressed his lips to Jeff's.

"I love you too sweetie and I'm sorry…about everything." Jeff just smiled.

"I know you are now leave me alone. I'm going to bed."

"Night love." Hunter moved to one of the chairs in the room while his lover got in bed. He was so glad to have Jeff back that nothing else mattered anymore. He lost Shawn and to lose Jeff would have made him crazy. But now that everything was fine between them, he couldn't stop himself from wondering about that bracelet. _Maybe Jeff's right… Maybe I should see for myself…_

_

* * *

_**AN:**_ If I know what love is, it is because of you_**~~~Herman Hesse**_  
_


	26. Night of the Rumble

AN: This chapter has been split into two or three parts and after that, this is the end. Anyway, this part isn't too long because I was hoping to get it to you by the end of Mania so I hope you enjoy it. BTW, I was pulling for Shawn to beat Mark (sorry folks) and was DISTRAUGHT when Jibble quit. He looked like he was going to cry so....expect an OST to pop up soon because I cannot help it. I love my Jibble muse now. If I don't fall asleep, the second part will be up before it gets too late otherwise, it'll get up sometime before Raw. AND I AM GOING TO THE WWE DRAFT ONE WEEK FROM TODAY! Okay. Done now. And so we continue....

* * *

_Release me from this curse I'm in  
Trying to remain tame  
But I'm struggling  
If you can go, go, go_

**~~~Disturbia by Rihanna~~~**

**~*~*~**

The rest of the week seemed to fly right by for everyone and before they knew it, they were entering the arena for the first big pay per view of the year, The Royal Rumble. None of the guys had spoken since the incident Monday night but they would all have to speak eventually. Cena arrived to the arena first and not too long after, Randy and Adam arrived. They spotted Cena sitting outside the locker rooms playing with the spinner on his belt. He seemed to be deep in thought because he didn't even hear them walk up on him.

"Dude, if I had a gun you'd be dead right now," Adam teased. Startled, Cena looked up relieved to see smiling faces for once.

"Adam…Randy. Believe it or not, I'm actually glad to see you guys."

"Wow," Randy smirked. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Me neither but…I never got a chance to thank you Randy. You too Adam. If it wasn't for you guys—

"Yeah, I know," Adam said softly. He looked around to make sure no one was around before he spoke up again. "So have you spoken with anyone since Monday night?" Cena shook his head.

"Nope. I mean, I started to call up Chris a couple of times but I couldn't do it. I just…I didn't know what to say you know? Everything that needed to be said had already been said in some form or another Monday night."

"Yeah and Vince's speech is what got me," Randy added.

"Yeah. Vince pretty much shot all of us down which reminds me, has anyone heard anything about John's condition?" Adam asked.

"He'll be competing tonight." All three guys turned to see Hunter coming up the hall followed closely by Jeff.

"Hunter," Randy frowned. "What the hell are you doing here so early?"

"Hey…whoa. Easy Randy. I'm not here to make trouble."

"Jeff, you're still with him after all that he's done?" Cena asked. Hunter cast Cena a dirty look.

"Don't start with me Wonder Boy," he growled. "If you'd calm the fuck down for a minute you might learn something." Cena jumped up and started towards Hunter but Adam and Randy held him back. Jeff was already beyond the pointless fighting so he stepped between them.

"Enough," he snapped. "Just hear Hunter out alright? I promise you it's well worth it."

"Alright. Fine. Start talking," Randy ordered.

"Jeff and I were going to be on our merry way but we heard you guys whispering about John so I thought I'd give you all the heads up," Hunter explained. "Yesterday morning I talked with Vince. He told me John was released from the hospital two days ago and that he would be competing tonight with only minor injuries."

"Oh well that's good," Adam said full of relief. "Any word on how Shawn's doing?" he winced. Hunter's face went from happy to sad in all of a second but Jeff was ready to answer for him.

"Shawn is fine," Jeff answered. "Though I wouldn't go expecting him to talk with any of _you_ just yet. Shawn…He had a rough couple of days and with John being in the hospital that only made it that much worse for him. You stupid idiots – including my Hunty – deserve whatever Shawn dishes out at you tonight."

"Is he really fine Jeffrey?" a soft spoken voice asked. All the guys turned to see Chris coming towards him. He was not wearing his usual air of cockiness and he looked like he was exhausted. Jeff took one look at him and couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him even after all of his talk last week. Jeff sighed.

"Yeah," he answered. "I can assure you Shawn's fine. In fact he…" Jeff chuckled, "he actually said he forgives every one of you."

"Really?" Adam asked his eyes wide with shock.

"Yes _really_ though I think he's out of his mind. But I guess that's what makes Shawn so perfect - his ability to see past the evil for the good. I swear Hunter if I didn't love you so much I'd be killing off Jibble for your ex." Hunter wrapped his arms around Jeff pulling him close.

"Well I'm glad you love me enough to give me a second chance. I really am going to try harder this time and…I plan to mind my own business, for the most part," he grinned.

"I'll take it," Jeff laughed.

"Looks like things are finally back to normal around here." Hunter moved to the side so that Dave, Mike, Mark, and Morrison could get through. Dave and Mike moved to stand next to Randy while Morrison kept near Mark, his finger clasped around one of Mark's belt loops. Everything seemed pretty normal until they noticed that Mark and John were dressed alike. Mark had on some black leather pants with a white shirt and matching vest while John was dressed exactly the same. The only major difference was that John was wearing a studded belt while Mark wore the matching studded collar. There was a thick silver chain hanging from Mark's collar that connected to John's belt. Everyone just stared unable to find words to comprehend what they were seeing.

"What?" Mark asked. Dave and Mike just snickered while everyone else continued to stare at them curiously. Mark threw up his hands in defeat. "Man you guys are something else. I didn't realize it was a crime for two people to coordinate, especially if they're a couple." Jaws dropped.

"Se…seriously?!" Adam exclaimed. He pointed to John. "That's…you two are…are _dating_?" Mark pulled the kid closer.

"Uh…yeah we are. Is…there a problem?"

"Oh no," he answered quickly. "I just…never would have guessed…and what's with that collar? John got you on lock down already?" Mark looked over at the kid and grinned.

"Well…I intended to get _him_ a leash but he decided that I should wear it instead. Since the kid's perfect in bed, I thought 'what the hell'?"

"Oh God Mark! You could have kept that to yourself!" Adam snapped. The rest of the guys just grinned except for Chris who still seemed pretty out of it. Mark looked over at Chris, his heart going out to him. So far it seemed that everyone was finally starting to heal their wounds but not Chris. Chris was still stuck in a dark place haunted by grief and pain. _He needs to pull himself together._ Mark looked around the group of chattering friends. All of them were now catching up and making plans for the rumble except Mike who looked equally disturbed by Chris' silence. _I have an idea…_

"Say Chris? Mike was asking me about your move set a few days ago and he was wondering if you could show him that move you did on Shawn from Mania 19? It was some kind of reversal but since I didn't pay too much attention to the match, I have no idea what he was talking about." Mark looked over at Mike who looked clearly confused.

"Is this true Mike?" Chris asked. _Come on kid…play along… Chris needs this and I know you have a crush on him._ For a minute Mark thought the kid was going to blow it but after a while he grinned.

"Uh…yeah. I uh…I inquired about a lot of your moves actually. There's a few I'd like to modify and use. I'm trying to set myself apart from Johnny a little bit but I wanted to uh…consult with you first." Mark nodded his head. _Good boy._

"I normally don't like revealing the secrets of my superior talents but what the hell?" he grinned. "Come on kid. Let's get changed and we'll roll around in the break room for a while." Chris left with Mike chattering away about his greatness. Mark felt John squeeze his hand.

"Thanks Mark. Mike needs this and so does Chris." Mark bent down and kissed his lips.

"Anytime sweets." Mark looked up and noticed that everyone had grown eerily quiet now. Cena pretended to be busying himself with his title belt while Adam and Randy were in deep – really deep – conversation. Dave was fiddling with his cell phone, his eyes glued to the screen. Mark and John cast each other confused looks but they soon got their answer when Shawn Michaels walked by them heading straight for the locker rooms. He walked on by everyone as if they were invisible. When the door slammed shut behind the blonde, everyone let out deep breaths.

"Wow," Adam shuddered. "I…I haven't felt this tense since…hell I can't remember when."

"Guys, you're going to have to do better than this if you ever hope to get back in his good graces," John scolded. "Pretending that he doesn't exist is only going to make things worse."

"I agree," Jeff added, "but I don't think now's the time."

"Why you say that?" Cena asked. Jeff just shook his head.

"You guys have got to learn to pay attention. Didn't you see his face?" They all shook their heads. "Oi!" Jeff groaned smacking his forehead. "He had his game face on people which pretty much means 'fuck off'. In case you all have forgotten, tonight's his last match with JBL. After tonight, they will no longer be working together. If any of you learned anything at all Monday night, then you should know that Shawn's not happy about this." Jeff looked around the group of men casting them all disapproving looks. "Shawn loves John so it's best you all get over yourselves now. It's going to take him a while to get over him so don't go thinking he's just going to run into your arms now that John's out of his life."

"Alright guys. Enough gossiping about Shawn," Mark growled. "Let's all just go inside and get ready for the night's pay per view. If Jeff says Shawn forgives you then that should be enough for now. In the meantime, give him his space until he's ready to come around." They all nodded at the big man before heading inside the locker room.

**-xx-xx-**

Shawn ignored everyone in the locker room. In fact, none of them seemed to exist in his world because he completely tuned them out. He took up half a bench near a wall as he laid on his back, listening to the soothing sounds of the jazz playing in his ear. John liked listening to jazz while working on company stuff and Shawn grew accustomed to listening to it as well. He was glad to have picked up the habit because the jazz really did seem to put his frazzled mind at ease – at least for the time being. People came and went throughout the hour. A few of the guys came in and when they spotted him lying there, they immediately darted out of the room like he was some kind of time bomb. Shawn scoffed. _Maybe I am some kind of time bomb. It certainly feels this way tonight. Like I could explode at any given moment if pushed to the edge. _Shawn looked around and noticed that he was all alone again. _Good._ He glanced down at his watch and saw that it was nearing time for him to cut a promo. He stood up to stretch then made his way across the room stopping in front of the mirror. _Look at me. I'm a total wreck. _Without warning, the door of the locker room opened up again. This time Shawn was able to see who it was through the mirror's reflection. It was John but he pretty much had the same idea as Shawn – ignore any and everybody and that also included Shawn Michaels.

John dropped his bags onto the floor then took a seat in one of the blue chairs. He made sure to sit with his back to Shawn so that he wouldn't be tempted to stare at him. However, the same could not be said for Shawn, whose eyes stayed glued to the mirror before him, watching his boss' every move like his life depended on it. John placed his white hat on the floor next to him and proceeded to do some stretching. His body was still pretty sore but the doctors ordered him to do some major stretching before his match. They said it should help with the soreness. As John stretched his muscles in the chair, a part of him couldn't bring himself to ignore the all knowing gaze boring into him. In fact, the intense scrutiny that he felt himself under seemed to calm his already irritated nerves. The thought of someone – of Shawn – watching him so closely reminded him of days spent with him at the hotel. Shawn was always observing him, staring at him with such intensity that John swears he could have been a book to him. At first it made him feel uncomfortable but after a while he kind of got used to it. To anybody else, they might have thought him crazy but John wasn't like everybody else. John was John but no one knew the real John like Shawn and they probably never will. John closed his eyes cursing God silently for letting him know he still had a heart. Life was so much simpler when he could act like a cold hearted bastard and not feel guilty about it. _But not anymore. So much has changed in so little time…God help me… _

Shawn bit down on his lip to stop it from quivering. _I'm selfish. I'm such a pathetic, selfish bastard._ John stopped stretching and was now standing on his feet staring at the floor. He would not look up. As much as Shawn wanted him too – as much as Shawn willed it, John was resisting the urge to look up at that mirror. Shawn gripped the side of the sink and leaned closer to the mirror. The man staring back at him seemed to tease him…to torment him beyond reason. _Come on Shawn! You don't really wanna do this tonight do you? You want to keep John for yourself…to stay with him forever…to be that selfish man you've always been…_ Shawn's eyes filled with water so he closed them, his hands gripping the sides of sink tighter for support. _You promised him Shawn. You PROMISED him. You can't go back on your word. If you do then you'll only be confirming everyone's theories. You'll be letting the world know that you're the same, selfish prick who only thinks of himself…_

Shawn suddenly opened his eyes and if it wasn't for his subconscious grip on the sink, he would have dropped to his knees in agony. _John…_ John's face was staring right back at him in the mirror and it was filled with a pain Shawn knew all too well. His head was shaking in disbelief while tears streamed down his face. Shawn wanted to call out to him, to say something – anything – but he could only bite his lip harder to keep from falling completely apart. The doors of the locker room suddenly opened up letting in two camera men who began setting up for their promo. Both men wiped their eyes as if nothing was wrong then got in position to start filming. John never met his eyes, not once during the promo, but the pair of eyes that did, shook Shawn's very soul. When John finally left the room, those dark, all seeing eyes worn by Mark pierced deep enough to start an internal conversation between two angelic dark souls. Shawn gasped.

"_Mark."_

"_I didn't mean to scare you."_ Taker softened his expression, staring at the guy who stole his heart years ago. Shawn's eyes, however, flashed dangerously despite Mark's caring expression.

"_Well you did." _

"_You look tense."_

"_Everyone's tense during a pay per view."_

"_You know what I mean Shawn."_ Mark hovered over Shawn, casting a shadow over the small frame of the showstoppa. The small space between them created a friendly intimacy that Shawn felt himself falling victim to. His expression softened.

"_Go away."_

"_You love him don't you?"_

"_Why do you care?"_

"_Because I found someone worth fighting for and if you've found that person in John then dammit fight for him!"_

"_It's not that simple."_

"_It never is."_

"_I'm…I can't…"_

"Sometimes…it's hell getting to heaven." Shawn raised his brows but before he could answer him, he heard John calling his name. It was time. With one last glance at Mark, Shawn quickly made his way after John. Mark could only watch him leave hoping, _praying _that Shawn understood him.

**~*~*~**

John and Shawn sat inside the limo in an awkward silence. It was almost time for their match, but they were having to wait what seemed like forever before they could enter the arena and exit the limo. The uncomfortable tension didn't help matters either. Shawn kept his face turned towards his window, staring out of it in an attempt to ignore the tension. John on the other hand, couldn't stop himself from watching the blonde. All week he began dreading this day but he couldn't – wouldn't – go back on his word. He loved and appreciated Shawn too much to fail him now but he had to admit that it hurt. _This sucks. This really, truly, fucking sucks._ John sighed before turning his attention to a window too.

"I enjoyed working with you, ya know?" Shawn's soft, gruff voice broke the silence. John turned towards him shocked that he even opened his mouth to say anything. Both had spent the majority of the evening ignoring one another until the point of madness. Shawn still had his face towards the window but John knew it was for the best. John forced a small chuckle.

"I…I wouldn't have thought as much but I'll take your word for it kitten." _Kitten._ John bit his lip. He hadn't meant to say it but he did and now he wished he'd never said anything at all. After tonight, there would be no more kitten.

"It's been…a journey," he managed. "A hell of a journey for us both but in the end, I think it did some good." He turned to John smiling for the first time all night. He reached over and placed his hand inside John's. "You gave me something that none of my other friends have been able to do so far." John squeezed his hand staring back at him with a confused look on his face.

"I…Shawn I…what could you have possibly gained from hanging around a grouch like me?" Shawn shook his head. _Oh John...if you only knew..._

"You doubt yourself too much John. You're really a good person but I think you try to hide it to keep people at a distance. I…don't really understand it since I know you to be a good man but you don't have to change who you are on account of my feeble observations." He squeezed John's hand again before pulling away, turning back towards the window. John's heart began pounding rapidly, not to mention he was starting to sweat. _God, what do I do? Please tell me what to do before it's too late!_ John glanced over at the blonde again, biting down on his lip. _So much has happened between the two of us but I can't… _John's music hit and he could feel the limousine making its way into the arena. _Oh God…_

John's palms were starting to sweat and he knew it was almost time. This would be the last time Shawn Michaels would ever be under his employment; under his watchful eye. This would also be the last time Shawn ever rode in a limousine with him. John glanced towards Shawn who still hadn't moved an inch. The crowd roared with a mixture of cheers and jeers letting him know that they were finally inside the arena. The vehicle slowed into a stop then the click of a latch was heard. _The driver…_ John watched as Shawn readied himself to exit the vehicle and then it hit him.

"Shawn wait!" he breathed. The blonde's head quickly turned, his intense gaze lighting a fire in John that he wish was long gone. Palms sweating, heart pounding, he willed himself forward enough to just barely touch Shawn's lips with his own. "I love you too," he whispered as the door suddenly opened up.


	27. Fulfillment

AN: I have you to know that I was up til 5:30 this morning typing this. I really hope you guys like this chapter and I order you to review it. LOL Not really but I swear I had the most interesting time typing this one. So many emotions…so much…I can't believe…Gahh Just read it and find out. By the way, this is the last chapter so enjoy.

* * *

**~*~*~**

_If I know what love is, it is because of you. And because of you, I found my real love._

_**~*~*~**  
_

Shawn scrambled out of the vehicle trying his best to pretend he didn't hear John but by the time he reached ring side, the whispered words were ringing loudly in his ear. _I love you too… _He glanced across the ring at John in hopes of meeting his gaze but John ignored him, pretending to focus on the man coming down the ramp. _Cena._ Cena ran down the ramp, his eyes focused solely on his opponent. As he slid inside the ring he nodded his head towards Shawn reminding him that he would keep his promise. Shawn gulped. Never in his life has he been this torn about something. Not even the 'Montreal Screwjob' had him this conflicted because in his heart, he knew he was doing the right thing but what about now? _Am I doing the right thing tonight?_

The bell sounded signaling for the match to start. Shawn watched – though half heartedly – as the two guys that he cared for deeply tangled up in a grapple. Cena easily took John down with a slide slam, moving very quickly to try for a pin. John kicked out of it starting a fierce battle that Shawn was only obligated to watch. Several times during the match, Cena cast him hurtful looks that Shawn was only too happy to ignore. He didn't care if he was breaking Cena's heart. The only heart that mattered right now was John's and even it had Shawn doubting himself_. God I love John and he just admitted that he loves me too but what do I do here? I only want John to be happy but I've spent my whole life sacrificing for the good of others… dammit God! Tell me what to do!_ The crowd jeered loudly as John slammed Cena hard onto the mat via a double arm powerbomb. He quickly moved to cover Cena but he kicked out after the two count. Shawn watched as John moved to pick up Cena only to have him counter with a series of punches and a clothesline sending him flat on his back. Cena made a face exciting the crowd as he stood over John preparing for his signature move.

Shawn waited for Cena to move before he pulled himself up on the mat using the ropes as leverage. _I can do this…I must do this for John! God help me do this!_ Cena landed the Five Knuckle Shuffle and waited patiently for John to get to his feet. The crowd roared again while Shawn just watched, bidding his time before he had to do the unthinkable. John slowly made his way to his feet and that's when Shawn slid into the ring. _Smack!_ Sweet Chin Music was put on the ref and then he just stood there between the two men staring down at the floor. Both Cena and John watched the blonde, their chests moving up and down from their heavy breathing wondering what he would do next. Shawn looked up and met John's eyes first. The look on John's face was intense and barely readable. John nodded his head towards him, willing Shawn to do his final job. Shawn quickly turned away from him to look at Cena. Cena had his hands on his hips. There was a look of intensity on his face but it was soon thrown off by the sudden hurt in his eyes. Shawn bit his quivering lip. _I care so much for both of these guys but my heart belongs to only one of them now. I can't… I want to make him happy so I have to do this!_ He looked at them both. _I'm sorry…_

A superkick and then another sent both men sailing backwards onto the mat. Shawn drug an arm over a chest just as the ref was beginning to stir. He did not glance back as he left the ring. When he reached the backstage area, he ignored all the watchful eyes as he staggered towards the exit. He no longer wanted to be in the building and he had done what he needed to do. The only thing left was to leave right now before he broke down in front of everyone. He left the arena without a second thought. It was over. It was finally, finally over.

**~*~*~**

John was…well he had no idea how he was feeling. Besides, his brain wasn't quite functioning the way that he wanted it too. Instead of really taking in the feeling of having wrestled a great match, all he could think about was how angry he was at Shawn Michaels. John stormed backstage after the match heading straight for the locker rooms. Shawn was not there. _Why am I not surprised?_ John quickly showered hoping it would calm his nerves but instead it made him even more ansy. _I'm a wreck. A fucking wreck and it's all his fault!_

John choked back a sob and then another one until finally he dropped to his knees on the cool, hard floor sobbing. _Oh God Shawn…_ He wanted to stop himself from what he deemed to be pointless crying but his body wouldn't listen. The tears just seemed to pour out of him on their own and so he cried. He cried and he cried for several minutes letting the water pouring over him drown out his sobs. A few people came into the locker room and if they heard him sobbing, they didn't bother to see who it was but John didn't care. For those several minutes he was on that floor, he couldn't have cared less who saw him crying because he was, without a shadow of a doubt, experiencing the pains of what could only be real love. Pure, honest to God love and he hated it.

Before John realized it, his limo was pulling up outside of his hotel. John blinked a couple of times for he was having a hard time remembering how he even got inside the limo. Everything was just a blur to him but he shrugged it off. It had been a long day and he was glad that it was over. _Tomorrow will be a brand new day and I can start all over again by putting everything up until this point behind me._ The subconscious thought gave John a glimmer of hope as he dragged himself through the hotel lobby and into the elevator. A ding and he was dragging himself out of the elevator towards his room. With a heartfelt sigh, he headed inside his room. When he flicked on the lights, he received quite the shock that made his insides boil.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" John snapped. Shawn didn't answer. He just continued to stare at John, his whole body quivering uncontrollably. John let out a laugh but it was more hurtful sounding than amused. "I…I don't believe you. Why are you here Shawn? Are you just trying to torture me some more?" Shawn looked away angering the Texan even more. "Look at me dammit!" he yelled. Shawn slowly turned to face him, but this time he was crying. The Texan's face softened but only for a brief second. The softened expression quickly changed to one filled with confusion and resentment. John dropped his bags and stormed across the room stopping just inches from the crying blonde. "You owe me Shawn," he demanded softly. "At least tell me why you're here. You made me a promise yet you went back on your word. Tell me why I shouldn't just throw you into that wall over there and beat you senseless?"

"You lost the match John," he replied softly. "That was 'the deal' remember?"

"Oh my God!" he screamed. "Are you serious?!?! Shawn…" He turned away from him running a hand through his hair. "God Shawn, that deal…that deal was long gone!" he cried. "I paid those mob guys off _ages_ ago! You didn't have to…you could have…I thought you knew?"

"Of course I knew. That's why I had to do it; to cost you the match John." He reached out to touch him but John slapped his hand away.

"_What?!_" John couldn't believe it. "But…what about all that talk of promises Shawn. You promised…you made me believe—

"I told you since day one John that I am selfish." Shawn slowly approached John, closing the gap between them. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry but I had to do it. I couldn't…I couldn't be the one walking away without having actually tried John." John took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I…I don't…Shawn, just what are you saying?" _He promised me…I don't understand…I believed in him so what now? _John soon got his answer and it was one he hadn't expected. Shawn rid himself of his shirt revealing a nice lean body just aching to be touched. John blinked several times trying to make sure what he was seeing was real and not a joke. Shawn reached behind his head pulling the scrunchie out of it. His long, golden hair fell swiftly beside his face hypnotizing the larger Texan. Shawn started towards him. John's brain was telling him to move, to run away but his legs grew weights all of a sudden and just would not, for the love of God, budge. John raised his hands shaking his head. He was afraid – terrified even. _No Shawn…_

"Please…Shawn, please don't," he pleaded, but Shawn shook his head. He placed his palms up against John's bringing his hands down.

"I'm sorry John," he whispered. "But you lost the match." John never got a chance to respond. Shawn grabbed him by the shoulders and tossed him backwards onto the bed behind him. John didn't have time to even think about protesting because Shawn was all over him quicker than he could think. Shawn straddled John's waist and started impatiently undoing the buttons of his shirt.

"Shawn…Shawn don't—

Shawn leaned forward capturing John's lips to shut him up. He didn't care what John wanted because tonight he was going to be the selfish bastard everyone knew him to be. He tried. He had tried so hard to be selfless but after John spoke those words he only dreamed of hearing, it was the icing on the cake. _I couldn't do it and I won't do it. I will make a believer out of him tonight! _Shawn's tongue delved deeper into John's mouth, exploring it in all it's glory as he pulled John up just long enough to get his shirt off. He tore his lips away, gasping for air before crushing John's lips again forcing him backwards. He grinded his hips against John drawing low, needful moans from the bigger man. Shawn's lips left John's to explore his neck while his hands found comfort in caressing John's shoulders.

"Oh God…Shawn please," he moaned. "Please don't…you don't know what you're doing," he breathed. John reached up to push Shawn off of him, but Shawn grabbed both his hands, pinning them above his head. He licked all around John's neck until he reached his earlobe. He nipped it playfully drawing a slight hiss from John.

"John I want you," he whispered. "I want you so badly and now that I've tasted you, I got to have more." John bit his lip fighting back a moan. The sound of Shawn's voice was arousing enough but to have him whispering in his ear was enough to drive him mad. He felt his arms grow weak and that was it for him. He hadn't the strength to fight back anymore. Shawn took his earlobe into his mouth sucking and biting it playfully.

"Mmm…Shawn…please…" John moaned. "Don't…"

"God John, I'm on fire for you right now," he whispered. "You moan like that one more time and I might lose it." Shawn bit into his neck playfully all the while grinding his hips against John letting him feel his apparent erection. "Feel it? I want you…fuck I want you," he panted. Shawn released John's arms and started planting a trail of tiny wet kisses down his body while his hands moved to play with John's nipples. He was pleasantly surprised to find them fully erect. He pinched them hard making John cry out. His tongue came out to play, as he licked the rest of his way down John's body, dipping in and out of John's belly button playfully. The larger man arched his back, whimpering softly in a vain attempt to mask his pleasure but Shawn knew better. When he reached the waistband of John's pants, he wasted no time at all unfastening them only to yank them off impatiently. John gasped when he felt the cool air hit his erection but that was nothing compared to the warmth that engulfed him a second later.

"Fuck Shawn!" he breathed. "I…Oh God!" John gripped the comforter for support as Shawn sucked on him; his head moving slowly up and down over his shaft. _This feeling…_ John closed his eyes moaning softly as Shawn pleasured him beyond his wildest dreams. Shawn's long hair ticked his legs only adding to the insurmountable pleasure of his warm cavern on his member. John suddenly felt vibrations along his cock and he lost it. "God Shawn!" His hips thrust forward wanting more of Shawn and he obliged, taking John even deeper into his mouth. John threw his head back, his hips buckling harshly. "Fuck Shawn I'm about to cum…" Shawn hummed one last time sending John straight to climax. John gasped and threw his head back, experiencing one of the most intense orgasms ever. He finally fell back against the covers panting heavily but his high was interrupted by fingers probing inside him.

"Oh…Ahhh…" he groaned. It hurt. It fucking hurt and he had the tears to prove it. He clenched his eyes shut fighting off tears as unwanted fingers explored him. "Oh!" John gasped, his body jerking from the sudden pleasure. Shawn chuckled softly as he slid his now naked body up John, parting his legs in the process. He looked down at John with nothing but love in his eyes.

"I love you," he murmured. "I love you so much." He engulfed John's lips for another kiss as he thrust inside of him. John's cry was muffled from his kiss but Shawn pulled away to nibble at his ear. "It's alright…It won't hurt much longer." He buried his face in John's neck, inhaling the familiar scent as he thrust in and out of him. John's face was slick from his tears but Shawn kissed them away, whispering comforting words until he felt John's arms embrace him.

"Harder," John breathed, his warm breath bouncing off Shawn's neck. Shawn was only too happy to oblige. He thrust faster and harder into John letting the sounds of his sweet moans fill his ears.

"Oh John…fuck John you're so good," he whispered. He bit down into his neck tasting his lover as he made love to him for the first time. It was everything he wanted it to be and more. Shawn felt himself wanting to cum. He pressed his lips to John's again for another fiery kiss as he thrust into him for the final time.

"OH GOD!" They both cried out at the same time reaching their climax. Shawn collapsed on top of John, their bodies both slick with perspiration. Silence. Dead silence except for the sound of their heavy breathing. Shawn was terribly high from their lovemaking but it didn't stop him from feeling slightly guilty. This was not supposed to happen tonight. In fact, he didn't expect it to ever happen because he made a promise to John. The deal was to get him to Mania as champ and then afterwards it would be over.

"_If I really get you to Wrestlemania as champ, will that make you happy?"_

"_Wow. Shawn I—_

"_Will it John? Please. I really wanna know."_

"_I…I suppose it would but Shawn—_

"_Done. I'll get you to Mania as champ." _

Shawn felt fingers massaging his scalp and he purred softly. John chuckled softly at his reaction.

"Has anyone ever told you that you purr like a kitty?" Shawn raised his head to meet his lovers gaze. For the first time all night, John looked content. His eyes were relaxed with just a hint of a twinkle in them and…he was smiling. Shawn shook his head.

"No. You're the first actually." He folded his arms across John's chest resting his head on them. He sighed. "John, please don't be mad at me." John slid his hand to the side of Shawn's face cupping the side of it.

"Why would I be mad darling?" Shawn pouted.

"Because I found a loophole." John laughed out loud.

"Wow. Kitten you are a mess. But hanging around me for so long, I'd have been disappointed in you if you hadn't."

"But…you did say—

"I know and I'm actually glad you found it kitten."

"Really?" John sighed.

"Kitten, I…when I was sitting inside that limo earlier tonight everything sort of hit me at once. I thought about everything that's happened until now and I just…I don't know. I exploded. I didn't think that my telling you how I really feel was going to make much of a difference but I needed you to know. No one…no one has ever embraced me for me like you."

"That's because they don't know you like I do." Shawn rose up to capture John's lips again. "I…love…you…so…much," he murmured. John held him tightly kissing him back.

"I love you too. So much." Shawn pulled away resting is head on John's shoulder.

"So will you keep me?"

"I…of course I wanna keep you but I think the question is, will you keep me?"

"Yep. I wanna keep you. Forever," he whispered. John stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you…are you sure? I mean, Shawn what if…what if I disappoint you? What if I can't love you the way that you deserve to be loved?"

"John—

"I'm serious Shawn. I love you so much but all this is new to me. I've…I've never been in love like this and I just…" Shawn shut him up with another kiss on the lips.

"Just stay the way you are. I love you, the John right here in bed with me and I will continue to love you forever. Remember in the limo earlier? I told you that you gave me something no one else has given me."

"Oh…oh yeah. I remember but…what on earth did I do besides hurt you?"

"Don't think about that. That's in the past John and I forgave you for that. Besides, if anything you were the one who saved me. You saved me from myself John and that's something Hunter, Vince, not even Bret could do for me. You also gave me piece of mind. I…have been so down on myself about relationships. It's always been my fault that my relationships have failed but then again, I've never been in a relationship where all the cards were put on the table from day one. My relationship with Bret was a bit one-sided and so was my relationship with Chris. Hunter and I…well…we're just better friends than lovers. And then there's you…" Shawn ran a finger up and down John's jaw line causing him to shudder. He smiled. "On day one you laid all the cards on the table and I accepted them as part of our deal. But then things changed and the situation got complicated but you never gave up on me. You could have thrown the entire deal out the window but you didn't. You stuck by me; helped me get through this terrible time in my life in your own way. You didn't know it, but I was falling hard for you and tonight… I just…I couldn't do it John. I couldn't leave you. I know I made you a promise, but I also promised to make you happy. I feel like I can do that if you'd just let me."

John didn't know what to say after that. He knew he wanted Shawn to stay in his life forever and no doubt Shawn was going to make him happy, but it still didn't change the fact that he was scared. Shawn saw the hesitation in his eyes but he wasn't ready to give up yet. He bent his head and started nipping at John's neck.

"Say you'll be mine," he whispered.

"Shawn…I'm…"

"Please? Please give us a chance." His nipping turned to sucking causing John's heart to pound and his head to spin.

"This is…Mmm…Shawn…" he moaned. "I…want to…"

"Then say yes."

"But I'm scared."

"Don't be," he purred. "I'll protect you." Shawn licked his way to John's ear again nipping playfully at the tender flesh. "I'll love you forever John…I'll love you…cherish you…be there for you…" He kissed all around John's neck…all around his face…his eyelids until he reach his lips licking them playfully. "Make love to you." John gasped and Shawn's tongue darted in his mouth again, sucking him into another powerful kiss.

John felt helpless again…so vulnerable yet for the first time in his life he felt comfortable allowing someone to overpower him like this. He had always been in control but not anymore.

"Say yes John." John racked his brain for another excuse but that's when he realized that he'd completely run out. _I…no more excuses…I've run out but who am I kidding? I love him and I'm loving every moment of this…I guess it's time to take a chance Layfield. If he's willing then I guess I am too. _John sighed as he wrapped his arms tighter around the blonde's body.

"Deal." Shawn quickly pulled away grinning from ear to ear.

"You mean it?"

"Yes," he replied lazily. "I mean it. I love you too much to say no." John sat up on the bed only to have Shawn force him back down. "Hey…what gives?!" Shawn scrambled up his body straddling his waist again.

"I've got too much energy tonight. I love you. You love me. I'm happier than ever so get ready for round two _sweetheart_," he smirked before assaulting a helpless John all over again. It was a blissful, passionate ending to an emotional night made better only by the sealing of a beautiful new deal. Only this time, the deal was a deal of a lifetime not meant to be broken, but to forever be honored. And it would be. Forever. The Deal.

**Fin**

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**AN: I might put a short little epilogue up but for now, this is the end. I will post a chapter thanking all of you that read but for now, all I can say is wow. Just wow. I'm…having a moment right now so you'll hear from me later when I'm done crying and celebrating. Review only if you want. Love to you all.


	28. My Heart Belongs to You: Epilogue

**AN: I said 'short' epilogue but I highly doubt you'd call this short. This leads up to another chapter in Shawn's life and I will give you the details at the end of this final chapter. So enjoy!**

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**~*Epilogue*~**

"Shawn, I really don't know how I feel about this. You know those guys hate my guts. Are you sure you want your reputation to be tainted by being seen with the likes of me especially after everything that's happened?" They were sitting inside John's limo having just arrived to the arena for Raw. Shawn looked over at his lover and sighed.

"John, I already told you that I'm here to stay. And forget them. I'm way past caring what they think. I love you and if they don't like it then I guess I'll have less friends to worry about." Shawn leaned over and kissed his lips. "Now let's get out. We have breaths to take away," he grinned.

"More like you have breathes to take away," he grumbled. John placed his hat on his head then signaled for the driver to let them out. John got out first and then he helped his beloved out. They were in the parking garage wearing matching suits so quite naturally it got everyone's attention. Shawn grabbed John's hand giving it a gentle squeeze making some color come to the Texan's face.

"Aww you're blushing," Shawn teased. John rolled his eyes ignoring his new love. They slowly walked inside the building to a wave of workers and superstars who were discussing the night's schedule. Immediately eyes rounded on him and John but just as quickly most of the guys looked away. "Now that hurts," Shawn mumbled.

"Well…you _did_ freak everyone out…or so I have been told," John chuckled.

"They deserved it and I'll do it again if I have to. But really. I did tell Jeff that I forgave them so why are they acting so—

"It's because they're still kind of freaked out." Both John and Shawn turned around to see Jeff standing there with a big grin on his face. Shawn's face immediately lit up.

"Jeff!"

"Hey there old timer," he joked.

"Hey, I'm not _that_ old," he pouted.

"I know so come here you." He cupped Shawn's face and stole a kiss from him. He pulled away and laughed. "Dude. I'm sorry but, I just had to kiss you again to see if it would have the same effect." Shawn laughed.

"Well did it?"

"Yeah and I'd really like to kiss you again so—

"I don't think John wants you making out with his man." Hunter came up behind Jeff and smiled at the group.

"Hunter. I'm…surprised to see you," Shawn replied frowning. "Why are you here? You know I'm still pissed at you." Hunter held up his hands in his defense.

"I'm sorry Shawn. I just…I actually came over here to apologize to you and to John in person. I can't stand not being able to talk with my best friend. Just ask Jeff. I've been miserable for days."

"You brought it on yourself," Shawn mumbled.

"I know and I'm sorry." Hunter took Shawn's hands into his own and kissed the back of them. "Look, I want to make it up to you. You've got to know that everything I did was for your own good, or rather, I _thought_ it was for your own good but I was wrong. Jeff helped me see my mistake and I want you to know that I really am sorry." Shawn shook his head.

"Don't apologize to me. The one you need to apologize to is John. You made some pretty harsh assumptions about him and I don't know if I can forget that." Hunter's heart sank a little.

"I…understand."

"But…if John can find it in his heart to forgive and forget then maybe I'll consider it." Shawn turned to face his lover with a serious look on his face. "So what do you think John? Should I forgive him or not?" John stared at Shawn at a loss for words. Just why did it matter to him? He had nothing to do with Hunter and Shawn's relationship. In fact, he felt kind of odd being with Shawn anyway considering his long history with Hunter. John let out a sigh.

"Kitten, I don't know…this is your decision."

"No, this is our decision. He hurt you John and I just can't see myself hanging out with someone that my boyfriend doesn't like. It would only make our relationship strained and I don't want that. I care too much for you to risk that." Hunter shifted uncomfortably as he watched the two of them. Just hearing Shawn talk like that made him both jealous and guilty. Never had Shawn spoke of him that way but he supposed it was because they never connected on a level like that. _And it's probably my fault because I was selfish and a bit possessive but I couldn't help it._

"Hey Hunt?" Hunter was snapped out of his thoughts by Shawn pulling him into a warm embrace. "I forgive you Hunter and I still love you."

"I love you too," he sighed kissing the top of his head. John watched the two old friends make up with a smile on his face. Even though he was probably just as selfish as Hunter he couldn't let Shawn lose his best friend. Besides, at the end of the day Shawn would be coming home to him so it's not like he had anything to worry about. Though it did kind of make him jealous seeing all the guys love on him like that but he'd just have to get used to it. Shawn was just a loveable guy so he could deal with it and in a way it made him proud knowing that everyone loved his kitten.

"Jibble!" John groaned.

"Why must you call me that?" Adam wrapped his arm around John's shoulder grinning from ear to ear.

"Because it's so much easier to say 'Jibble' rather than 'JBL'."

"Can't you just call me John?"

"Well I could but then Cena might come forward and no one wants to be bothered by that—

"Watch what you say Adam." Both Adam and John jumped when they heard Cena's voice. The champ was standing a few feet away with a big grin on his face.

"Cena. Er…what's up?" Cena rolled his eyes and moved closer to the inner circle.

"Dude. Please. Drop the act. I was listening the whole time." Cena looked up at John and nodded. "How's it going?" John smiled.

"Going good actually. You?"

"I'm good." Cena looked over at Shawn who was still deep in conversation with Hunter. He chuckled to himself for he was glad to see that things were back to normal. Shawn must have felt his eyes for he suddenly looked up and smiled at him.

"John. How are you?" Cena felt his face heat up at having been acknowledged by his idol. He didn't know why he still reacted this way to Shawn but he was sure it was pretty obvious now that he still had a crush on him.

"I'm—

"Not quite over you," Adam snickered.

"Hey man shut up," Cena grumbled.

"Aww…come here." Shawn pulled Cena into a hug then planted a kiss on his cheek. Cena's face turned redder than a cherry's causing all the guys to laugh out loud. Shawn pulled away and scowled. "Leave him alone guys. I don't like it when you're messing with my favorite tag partner."

"Hey, I thought I was your favorite!" Hunter exclaimed. Shawn shook his head.

"You don't count. Cena and I won belts which automatically puts him ahead of you." All the guys laughed and for the first time in weeks, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

"What I missed? Dammit I'm always missing something." The group shifted to let Mark through. Of course his better half was right behind him along with Chris and Mike.

"Hey guys," Hunter spoke. "And you just missed Cena blush. I don't think he's quite over Shawn," he joked.

"Does anyone ever get over him?" Mark asked. They all thought about this for a second then shook their heads in mutual agreement. "That's what I thought. Layfield. How's it going?" John nodded towards Mark with a smile.

"Doing good."

"How are your injuries?"

"They're healing. Ribs are still sore but I think my arms are a lot better. Of course I won't ever know until I get to the gym but somebody won't let me." Shawn shrugged.

"He's not healed yet."

"I am too!"

"Sure you are," Shawn smirked. "Remember last night?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," John mumbled. He looked away to hide his face which was turning redder by the second. Last night when Shawn threw him on the bed, he accidentally winced when Shawn squeezed his arms. That led to Shawn doing a thorough check of his body before making love to him for the umpteeth time.

"Shawn, you're making John blush," Mike grinned.

"Well he should know better. You know how I am."

"Yes, we do," Chris joked. "So uh…now that things seem to be a lot better than last week, I was wondering if Shawn would do me a favor." Shawn quirked his brow curiously.

"That depends on the favor."

"Well…uh…how about we talk about it later?"

"Why?"

"So that if you kill me, you can do it in private."

"Well, I don't mean to leave you guys but I have a match to get ready for," Mark stated. "John, Shawn…it's good to see the two of you smiling again. I really hope things work out." John smiled at Mark grateful that he had his support.

"Thanks man. And I'm sorry for any bad blood that might have been between us." Mark waved it off.

"Naa…we're cool. As long as blondie over there is happy then I'm happy."

"Same here," Hunter replied. "Well Jeff and I need to be off to so I'll catch you guys later."

"Hey. How about we meet up later for drinks?" Mike suggested.

"I'm in," Jeff answered. All the guys nodded in agreement. "Then it's settled. Shawn, Jibble…see you guys later tonight." With one last smile they were off. John tapped Shawn on the shoulder.

"Hey kitten, I need to go change for my match. You stay here and talk with Chris."

"Alright. I'll join you in a few." Shawn kissed his lips then watched as John hurried off towards the locker rooms. He turned to Chris and frowned. "What? And this better be good because I don't want to start keeping things from John."

"Oh well it's not…bad. I just…don't know how you're going to react."

"Okay so now I'm scared. Chris. Spill it. What's this about?" Chris let out a breath and sighed.

"So remember last year when you went on that Canadian talk show called OTR?"

"Yeah…vaguely. It wasn't the most enjoyable experience considering that he tried to hammer me about my relationship with Bret but that was to be expected. So what about it?"

"Have you thought about this year's Survivor Series?"

"Uh…no considering it's like way in November and here we are just barely reaching Mania."

"Yeah I know but…don't you realize how epic November will be?" Shawn raised his brows.

"No." Chris rolled his eyes.

"I thought maybe you of all people would know that this will mark the 12th Anniversary of Montreal."

"Oh…that. So what? I'm sure someone will bring it up but I could care less."

"Maybe not but I care."

"And why?"

"Because I think we should do a big special about it." Shawn just groaned.

"No…not you. Chris…no."

"Oh come on!" Chris exclaimed. "It'll be exciting. Just me, you and Bret sitting in a room—

"Hell no."

"But Shawn you said last year that you'd be willing to sit down with him and talk about it."

"I…what?"

"Yes you did," Chris said smugly. "You said that last year and I am going to hold you to it. This will be the interview of all interviews and all you have to do is say yes. Besides, don't you want the world to know your side of the story?"

"I…" Shawn sighed. "Of course I do but no one will listen. My name has been tainted for years so by now, the truth will hardly matter. Not to mention Bret won't even talk with me let alone see me."

"Yes but what if I can get him to do the interview?"

"You can't so let it go Chris."

"But Shawn, I _want_ to do this for you. Not only would this be the interview of a lifetime but it will help the both of you put an end to a bitter place in your lives. You can both move on with no regrets and you Shawn, you can move on knowing that you at least tried to make amends. People will see this interview. They'll see you reaching out to him but if he refuses then he'll be the one to look bad. Not you."

"I'll have to think on it. And have you talked with Vince? How does Vince feel about this?"

"He actually thinks this is a good idea but he told me that it was up to me to get you and Bret to cooperate. He said if the two of you said no then I'd have to drop it."

"I see. So Vince is playing the safe card."

"Oh come on Shawn. Please? Pretty please?" Chris begged. Shawn stared at Chris in disbelief.

"I'll think about it. But I'm making no promises. Besides, it's not like you'll get Bret to do it anyway. He's too stubborn for his own good. Plus, even if you could get him to do it I don't know if I want to see him. You of all people should be able to understand why," he accused.

"I…I know that but…just think about it. The questions I plan to ask are solely based on Montreal. Nothing more. Nothing less…unless you guys decide you want to discuss something else. You know me Shawn. I loved you…still do so you know I'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you."

"Oh really?" he scoffed. Chris winced.

"I know…you're still upset about last week."

"Upset doesn't even begin to cover it," he snapped. Chris let out a sigh as he backed away finally admitting defeat.

"Call me if you change your mind. See you later." Shawn watched him walk off before he headed to find John. He found him sitting alone in the locker room lacing his boots.

"John?" John looked up frowning when he saw Shawn's face. He looked sad and John didn't like it.

"Kitten what's wrong?" he asked.

"Chris wants me to do a one on one interview with Bret."

"Oh…um…are you going to do it?"

"No. I don't want to see Bret."

"What kind of interview does he want to do?"

"Something about the 12th Anniversary of Montreal. I really…don't want to talk with Bret. I'm happy and I've reached that point in life where I could care less how Bret feels anymore."

"You don't mean that kitten."

"Yes I do!" he insisted. "My place is here with you and if I sit down with Bret I'll be forced to confront all kinds of past feelings that I'd rather leave buried."

"But don't you think it's time you two made up?" John asked. Shawn just glared at him. "Shawn, listen to me. I love you and I know you love me but…part of the reason you took that deal to begin with was to protect Bret. If you didn't care about him you wouldn't have went through with it."

"John please…"

"Shawn, I want you all to myself but one can't help but feel like you and Bret have some unfinished business."

"So you want me to do the interview and risk our relationship?" Shawn snapped. His eyes were filling with water because he didn't understand. He just couldn't understand why John would want to throw it all away…everything they fought for just to indulge Chris' journalism prospects. John grabbed Shawn's hand and pulled him down on the bench next to him. He brushed a strand of hair out of his face sighing.

"Shawn, I don't know if you realize it yet but you and I are going to have several things trying to come between us. I mean look at what's happened until now. You and I weren't even together but all hell broke loose anyway. What I'm trying to say is that you and I will have to overcome several more obstacles in life. We passed the first one – barely – but we did and it just brought us closer together. This interview with Bret – it's just another obstacle love."

"But maybe I can't see it that way," he cried. "I love you John but you know I still probably…love him too. Would I choose him over you? I don't know. I honestly don't know. I hate him you know? I hate him so much for what he did to me but at the same time I know I could never intentionally do anything to hurt him. I can never say no to him," he choked. John wrapped an arm around him kissing the side of his face.

"It's okay kitten and I understand. I think I felt the same way about Ron for a while but I guess I'll never know because he isn't around. But you…you have an opportunity here to get back something your heart has desired for years."

"But I don't want to get him back!" he cried. "I just want you!"

"But how can you know that if you run away from him?"

"John, I feel like you're making another excuse to give up on us."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Then stop pushing me to do something I don't want to do."

"I'm not…Alright fine. If you don't want to do it then I won't make you. But for the record, I'd feel better about us if you did. That's all I'm saying love." John stood to his feet and left the locker room leaving Shawn behind to think. John didn't go far. He just stood outside the locker room waiting on his beloved to change for the night. While he waited, he had to brush the guilty feelings from his heart. He knew he probably hurt Shawn just now but like Hunter and the others, he was doing it for his own good. Shawn still had feelings for Bret and the only way he was ever going to get over him was to see him one last time. Only then would Shawn be able to figure out where his heart truly lies. Shawn and Bret had a shifty past and no one but the two of them knew what happened but John got the feeling it was a bunch of misunderstandings leading to a horrible break up. Whatever it was, Shawn needed to talk with Bret so he could be happy. John could only do so much for him.

John heard the door open behind him and out walked Shawn fully dressed in his ring attire. He quickly approached John throwing his arms around him and pulling him into a powerful kiss making his head spin. When he finally pulled away, John couldn't help but to laugh.

"So what was that for?"

"For being you," he grinned.

"So…"

"So…I guess I'll do the interview," he said rolling his eyes. John's smile broadened.

"Oh really now?"

"Hn…well if I didn't love you so much I wouldn't have thought twice about telling Chris no. But you know what? I'm feeling better about myself and since the interview won't be in Canada, I figure I'll have a better chance at defending myself."

"That a boy kitten."

"I learned from the best. But…you'll have to come with me. Or at least be near the vicinity so that I don't lose my mind. Bret makes me crazy and I'm sure this time – if Chris can talk him into it – won't be any different." John grabbed his lover pulling him into another kiss.

"Whatever you say kitten."

"I love you," Shawn murmured. "I love you so much."

"And I love you." They pulled apart then headed hand in hand towards the curtain. John was feeling a lot better about their relationship now while Shawn felt on top of the world. Interview or not nothing was going to tear him away from John. They would be together forever now because Shawn made a promise to him and it was one promise he refused to break. Ever.

**Fin**

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What's Next for Shawn and Nefatiri?

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I mentioned in the author's note that Shawn's about to enter a new chapter in his life. That's more than true. While I did say that I wasn't planning on writing anymore fics, I started another fic that picks up where this one left off about a month ago. It's the interview between Bret and Shawn. I started it before I finished this fic because I got on a Bret kick after watching his DVD Biography. No, I haven't started any new fics and I won't be until I finish the ones I started and my original fic but for now, I'll be working on the Bret/Shawn interview that ties in with this story. Yes, JBL is in def in the other fic so if you're curious to see whether or not they will last, the title of the story is **'Heart to Hart'**. It's a Frost/Nixon style interview but don't get it twisted. It's not your typical Highlight Reel special. Some of you should know since some of you are reading it already. LOL So...go read 'Heart to Heart' but be warned. It's another angsty fic because really, since when has Shawn ever had it easy? Bret-Shawn-Jibble = 'Heart to Hart'. (I swear I need to stop with the series and learn how to just end things and get on with my life -_-)

~**~

Special Thanks

_SkyEyes16, wrestlefan4, TheVampireLucinda, DX-Dynamite, Chain-Gang-Princess-2009, Cenalova-54-8284, Randysdymond06, Seraphalexiel, AnonymousPunk, Chisato-chan, shinigami_sakura2000, SweetestSin01, Dark_Kaneanite, slashdlite, Esha Napoleon, CookingKiller, Animal Luvr 4 Life, Priince, Rainstar of Lightning Clan, HBKsMainEvent, barbiedoll._ I really hope I didn't leave anyone out because if I did, it was completely unintentional. Thank you **ALL** for reading and reviewing this fic. All of you helped me mold JBL into a wonderful, loving person worthy of having a relationship with Shawn. And you should know by now that I am picky as hell when it comes to that little blonde. I hope you all continue to stick with me and I hope I can continue (in the future) to produce quality fics worth your time. You guys pushed me to my limit and I love you for that! ~Nefatiri


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